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bass and it's effects on marriages


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[quote name='Grangur' timestamp='1370078312' post='2096228']
+1 The first Mrs G laughed at my playing and told me I was useless at it. I stopped playing for our 24 year marriage.
Then as the 2nd Mrs G was a keys player I picked it up again and I'm getting better than ever thanks to her support and encouragement. :sun_bespectacled:
[/quote]

That's pretty shocking on so many levels - must be really gutting for your partner to tell you that you're bad. For me, that would be grounds for a serious heart to heart about how 'supportive' we were of each other in an already tough life (whilst secretly making me wonder if we'd both made the right choice in partner)!

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Yup, all of this has a familiar ring. Recently split up after 10 years with the other half. She would tolerate the gigs but there was clearly resentment. And when there was nothing left in common at all, we ended up going our separate ways. Singledom in yer mid 40s ain't fun...

BB

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[quote name='borisbrain' timestamp='1370444829' post='2100981']
Yup, all of this has a familiar ring. Recently split up after 10 years with the other half. She would tolerate the gigs but there was clearly resentment. And when there was nothing left in common at all, we ended up going our separate ways. Singledom in yer mid 40s ain't fun...

BB
[/quote]
I can recommend internet dating. It does work. You need to fish though a few "frogs", but there are nice ladies out there. Trust me, I was 50 when I became single again. You can also look out for people's interests, and declare your interest in playing music. If they don't like it, avoid them. There IS someone out there who'll love you for it.

That's that way I met my Mrs G who's with me now.

Rich

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[quote name='Grangur' timestamp='1370463455' post='2101462']
I can recommend internet dating. It does work. You need to fish though a few "frogs", but there are nice ladies out there. Trust me, I was 50 when I became single again. You can also look out for people's interests, and declare your interest in playing music. If they don't like it, avoid them. There IS someone out there who'll love you for it.

That's that way I met my Mrs G who's with me now.

Rich
[/quote]

Thanks Rich, I may give it a whirl

BB

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[quote name='Grangur' timestamp='1370463455' post='2101462']
I can recommend internet dating. It does work. You need to fish though a few "frogs", but there are nice ladies out there. Trust me, I was 50 when I became single again. You can also look out for people's interests, and declare your interest in playing music. If they don't like it, avoid them. There IS someone out there who'll love you for it.

That's that way I met my Mrs G who's with me now.

Rich
[/quote]

Guess that would also be a big plus one from me :D

http://basschat.co.uk/topic/208874-girlfriend-proposed-to-me-last-night-what-an-amazing-evening/

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Its important for your partner to respect your hobbies and interests (and even more important for them to respect music if its your job).

However, with that said, all relationships require a bit of compromise here and there and I get the feeling (from this thread and elsewhere) that too many blokes are unwilling to do so. Spending every night playing the guitar/bass for hours, out gigging/rehearsing every friday and saturday, sneaking your 13th precision bass into the house and hoping she doesn't notice, etc. There comes a point where you have to stop pretending that you're single and start respecting your partner by occasionally prioritising them over the lump of wood and metal on a stand in the corner.

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[quote name='uncle psychosis' timestamp='1370508296' post='2101869']
There comes a point where you have to stop pretending that you're single and start respecting your partner by occasionally prioritising them over the lump of wood and metal on a stand in the corner.
[/quote]

Based on the info in this thread, there's a window of about 25 years for this to kick in or she's gone! I'm only two years in and pretty much GAS free! Mrs Skej made me quit my other path (graphic design) and pursue music professionally, offering a huge amount of support so hopefully she will be sticking around for a while yet :)

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[quote name='skej21' timestamp='1370532249' post='2102319']
Based on the info in this thread, there's a window of about 25 years for this to kick in or she's gone! I'm only two years in and pretty much GAS free! Mrs Skej made me quit my other path (graphic design) and pursue music professionally, offering a huge amount of support so hopefully she will be sticking around for a while yet :)
[/quote] I can only answer for myself, but if my marriage of 24 yrs had lasted the full distance I probably wouldn't be here on BC and I would probably still own the cr@ppy bass I kept in the loft for 24 years. Not touching it for the whole duration.... yep that's compromise I think.

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