Beware the client who doesn't know what a live band needs - a cautionary tale

[NickH]

Bit of a lengthy cautionary tale here... started to type it in "How was your gig last night?" but it got a bit lengthy and I thought it might deserve it's own thread.

My gym buddy, who's seen my band play, recommended us to his dear old Mum who was planning her 65th birthday party. I chat to her on the phone - it's a family do, about 60 people, and a bit of a trek out of our usual operating area. I give her a mates-rates quote for the gig and slap the cost of a rental van plus fuel on there. She's happy. Then she tells me it's an outdoor garden party at a beach house.

So, being the organised band manager that I am, I go through the Outdoor Gig Safety Check List with her -
Is there an adequate size of stable flat flooring? Yes indeed, permanently installed raised decking of "huge" size.
Is there waterproofing for the band and our delicate electrical gear? Yes, a marquee will be there
Circuit breaker protected power supply of suitable wattage? Check
Sweet! I email her the contract, take the deposit, and smile.

Come the day of the gig I'm up at cock-crow to collect the rent-a-van. Collect my band mates and gear early afternoon and start the 100 mile drive to the little seaside village. Leaving Southampton the sun is scorching but as we head east the sky looks increasingly dark and gloomy. Bugger, it's going to rain.
All the guests are in a restaurant eating, but her son (my friend) will come let us in to set up and soundcheck while they're munching and boozing. Pull up at the beach house and am struck by how small it is side-to-side, which implies the garden will be narrow. Ah well, perhaps it's thin but long.
We open the side gate and look out on what can only be described as a cross between WWI no man's land and the set of a zombie apocalypse movie. This garden is a state! The ground is all bumpy and uneven, it hasn't been mown in ages, there's weeds and dumped junk everywhere. Nowhere is there a marquee or decking. I mention this to the son who says "yeah, I told Mum this was no good but she wouldn't listen" !
The decking which the birthday girl has described was a skinny wooden patio coming out the back of the house, with a railing, then a long set of steps down to the garden. Not big enough for the drumkit, never mind the whole band. Plus it's completely exposed to the ever increasing threat of rain. What about this marquee? It turns out to be a £9.99 Homebase fold-up gazebo - one of those you chuck up to keep the drizzle off the BBQ at about 6 foot on a side.

I schlep on down to the restaurant to have a word with Mum about the differing conditions between contract and reality. She tells us we can just set up at the non-house end of the garden... well no we can't, the ground is rough and uneven, and there's no cover against rain. Can we set up inside? The rooms are very small, so we could sit in a cramped circle and play to each other but the guests would only get the benefit of this through a doorway or wall. At this point I'm trying hard not to come across as a health and safety Nazi, but nobody in the band is willing to set up in this wasteland of a garden.
Aha! Brainwave. I ask the restaurant manager if they have a music license and would like a band for the night. Sadly they haven't but he tells me there's lots of pubs and hotels locally who do. So, the son and I start running round this village asking at venues. Success! Find a hotel with a big dining / entertainments area which has just a couple of guests in it. I explain the situation to the bar manager and he rips my arm off at the thought of packing out his place for the night. It's even OK to bring in the buffet food from the garden as long as folks are buying drinks at the bar.

Feeling like we're snatching victory from the jaws of defeat, I leave the band setting up and do a shuttle run for the food in the van. Get finished soundchecking and play our first two sets excellently, using all the space of the room to move about and entertain the crowd. Everyone's loving it (including the birthday girl) with plenty of boogying and smiles all round.
Taking a breather before the third and final set, my singer overhears two of the sons talking to other guests, who are saying what a great band was booked and what a nice venue this is eh? Sons look embarrassed and reply yes, everything's good, but Mum doesn't want to pay the band full price because of the relocation!
So, I've done her a bargain price for the gig, rented a vehicle, driven 2.5 hours, found out she totally misrepresented what we'd find in the garden, got her a new venue, played a hell of a show, and she wants to underpay me? Not bloody likely! I go collar her and have a polite but firm discussion. Turns out she's "accidentally" left her chequebook at the beach house but she'll put a cheque in the post. I'm not feeling inclined to trust this and tell the band not to go on for the third set until we've seen the money. At this point the sons step in and tell me they'll go find a cashpoint to cover us themselves as they agree with my assessment that we'll never see close to the full quoted price for the gig.

We finish the night up and everyone goes home happy, except us... should have been a really fun road trip gig to a receptive party, but ended up leaving a really bad taste in our mouths.

So beware! Even if you think you've covered every detail of a gig preparation, there's always room for the chaotic shenanigans of playing live music to try and bite you in the bum

Let's hear your similar tales of triumph and defeat...

N.

[steve-bbb]

a cheque?

a f*cking cheque ???



last time i was in a band where the booker was conveniently not at the gig to pay us but told the bandleader he would put a cheque in the post i politley told the bandleader he could look for a new bass player

Edited July 25, 2013 by steve-bbb

[Roland Rock]

Re. cheques- I'm far too trusting, last time we played in London, the organiser said that she was stuck that night and would post a cheque with the balance, and I agreed. Either I'm a good judge of character or just lucky, but she came through as promised.


I'm impressed with your initiative going round and finding an alternative venue. You took a potentially dire situation and turned it right round to a successful gig - well done. I know it left a bad taste in your mouths, but you got paid, everyone had a good time, and you've learned that next time, you need to specify a minimum stage area in the contract!

[stu_g]

shame the birthday girl didnt appreciate all your efforts
my worst memories are turning up to play a gig and the venue had shut down doh!

[vsmith1]

I'd ask for a few camera phone photos in the future. I like to go get a recce at a place we haven't played at before. Though the rest of the band just seem to let me worry about it all for them.

But good on you for being so flexible, adaptable and clearly resilient.

[Dom in Dorset]

I've come across similar misrepresentations of conditions on the ground when I worked as a piano mover. We charged extra for stair or steps and always checked with the client. So many times the conditions didn't match up. One occasion we had to take a grand piano out of a big house in Bath , we were told "there is one flight of stairs" , there were three inside and one outside!
A good tip is to check the venue out on Google Earth,

[fumps]

Wow man that's a hell of a bit of quick thinking.
Great story & the fact that she was planning on trying to stiff you is just beyond belief

[Lfalex v1.1]

[quote name='vsmith1' timestamp='1374743184' post='2152574']

But good on you for being so flexible, adaptable and clearly resilient.
[/quote]

Absolutely.
I've found those attributes to be relatively common amongst bassists, but sometimes lacking in other band members...

[EliasMooseblaster]

Has BC ever considered compiling a book of some of the best stories about daft gigs that its members have ended up playing / not playing / narrowly snatching from the gaping maw of disaster? Because this would be prime fodder for it. 10/10 on initiative, I have to say!

[flyfisher]

Quite a tale of potential disaster, so good on you for pulling out all the stops to recover the situation. At least the sons seemed to have appreciated all your efforts, so good on them as well - without them it sounds like it would have all turned nasty.

[Jellyfish]

It's nice to see a thread that doesn't end with all of us thinking you could of done more! Sounded like a day you wouldn't want to repeat, so well done for keeping your cool.

[JTUK]

I start from the basis that we have done a few of these gigs and the organiser knows nothing[u].[/u]

We try and tell them what we want and you can get a sense from this how well versed and capable
and/or willing they may be.

It might sound as though you think you're something else, but I look upon it as doing things properly and if you aren't
happy with that, walk away.

I am not interested in gigs, I am interested in gigs worth doing...from my POV.
It isn't really about the money, but if they can't/wont spend any...again, walk away...
or don't moan after wards.

We have min stage sizes, stage riders etc etc but we also have a very close relationship with who books us.
They don't do it on a shoestring and neither do we..

We've learnt to walk away .... I hope.

A case in point... A local beer festival is charging £7;00 on the door and some people and saying they have to pay twice..
for the door fee and for the beers, but then you want to see how the council makes these people dance thru hoops..
If people want a skanky tent in a tatty field, on a ribby stage .. then fine... but if you want too many portaloos and decent showers for over night camping, then the bar is raised.

There are beer festivals and tents with a few beer barrels in them.. the choice is easy, but not cheap.

Classic round here...charity beer fest..don't get me started..!!

Edited July 25, 2013 by JTUK