The dorkiest bass?

[Fionn]

Following on from a comment that Operative451 made on another thread about dorky guitars ...

One bass immediately populated my mind ... the Fender Mustang Bass, such is its oozing of dorkiness.

Surely a contender?

[CamdenRob]

Rics get my vote

[Bloc Riff Nut]

I was thinking about getting one of those.(not a Ric)
Mind you I've got one of these-;

But it's a dream to play,just wish it was passive!

Edited August 28, 2013 by Bloc Riff Nut

[Lowender]

I think the Jeff Berlin model tops the cake. A worthty contender would be the Ibanez Grooveline -- The Edsel of Basses. Also, the MM Bongo toilet seat. And I think Foderas are pretty dorky too.

[martthebass]

[sub]Any that is in my sig at any given time......[/sub]

[EliasMooseblaster]

[quote name='Fionn' timestamp='1377690685' post='2190371']
One bass immediately populated my mind ... the Fender Mustang Bass, such is its oozing of dorkiness.

Surely a contender?
[/quote]

An interesting choice...I guess there's going to be some debate over how we define dorky!

Personally I find anything made by BC Rich to be a strong contender. But that may just be because I associate them with the 15-year old metalheads I knew at school, who all had the most appalling neckbeards.

[Bloc Riff Nut]

I think that Star-bass of Bootsy's is pretty dorky!

[Fionn]

[quote name='EliasMooseblaster' timestamp='1377691334' post='2190385']
An interesting choice...I guess there's going to be some debate over how we define dorky
[/quote]

Aye. I suppose I'm thinking of those type of posers who go for that very engineered dysfunctional aesthetic. An anti-fashion paradox, similtaneously biting and liking its own arse ... so to speak.

[ead]

Anything with those lipstick p/ups.

[xilddx]

Any of those manky funguswood bookmatched occasional table basses are dorky. All of em. They look so disgustingly musicianly. That's why most of em are used for jazz and jazz fusion and sh*t like that.

THE BELLS! THE BELLS! Singlecuts. Quasimodo dorkfest.

[Ziphoblat]

Single cut basses. Vile.

[Roland Rock]

I've never known anyone pull by rocking a headless bass ;-). *







* Steinberger in a reggae context excepted

Edited August 28, 2013 by Roland Rock

[xilddx]

[quote name='Ziphoblat' timestamp='1377693541' post='2190430']
Single cut basses. Vile.
[/quote]

Isn't this the the dorkiest, most f***ing vile thing you've ever seen? Like a hippo with leprosy.

[xilddx]

[quote name='Roland Rock' timestamp='1377693794' post='2190437']
I've never known anyone pull by rocking a headless bass ;-). *


* Steinberger in a reggae context excepted
[/quote]
I had three splendid young women asking me about my Hohner Jack after a gig once. It was in Whitby though.

[neepheid]

For me, dorkiness != ugliness. That's not what dorkiness is about, it's more an endearing awkwardness. In this respect I think some people are missing the point. If this was just another "ugly bass" thread, why not just call it that?

My vote is for the Gibson RD Artist. Huge. Neck sticks out further from the body than usual making it quite a stretch but the scale length is normal. Looks like a melted Thunderbird. Absolutely bonkers circuitry. Can pick up radio on some settings. Can sound like tuned springs on extreme EQ settings.

That's dorky. It's not ugly, it's not difficult to play, but it has some things about it that have you scratching your head going "eh?". Yet it makes me smile like this when I play it:



Now I look dorky, playing a dorky bass. THAT'S dorky.

[clauster]

[quote name='xilddx' timestamp='1377693906' post='2190441']
Isn't this the the dorkiest, most f***ing vile thing you've ever seen? Like a hippo with leprosy.


[/quote]

Elephantisis of the bass

[xilddx]

[quote name='neepheid' timestamp='1377694107' post='2190445']
For me, dorkiness != ugliness. That's not what dorkiness is about, it's more an endearing awkwardness. In this respect I think some people are missing the point. If this was just another "ugly bass" thread, why not just call it that?

My vote is for the Gibson RD Artist. Huge. Neck sticks out further from the body than usual making it quite a stretch but the scale length is normal. Looks like a melted Thunderbird. Absolutely bonkers circuitry. Can pick up radio on some settings. Can sound like tuned springs on extreme EQ settings.

That's dorky. It's not ugly, it's not difficult to play, but it has some things about it that have you scratching your head going "eh?". Yet it makes me smile like this when I play it:



Now I look dorky, playing a dorky bass. THAT'S dorky.
[/quote]

Oh f*** off, that's not dorky, that's KOOL.

EDIT: Dork apparently means stupid, inept or unfashionable.

Edited August 28, 2013 by xilddx

[Billy Apple]

Is it the bass looks dorky, or you look like a dork playing it?

[xilddx]

[quote name='Billy Apple' timestamp='1377694435' post='2190451']
A Vampire then?

...only interested in the neck
[/quote]

You're on fire mate!

[alexisonfire]

[quote name='clauster' timestamp='1377694178' post='2190446']
Elephantisis of the bass
[/quote]

Kill it, KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!

[miles'tone]

Flea, upon completion of the BSSM album, refused to gig his Wal MKII as he deemed it too dorky looking and not cool enough for him.
Seeing as he arguably has never sounded better than on that album, he basically decided to trade his best ever tone, the one that inspired a generation of young bassists, for shallow aesthetics (personally I think the Wal looks cool as) Then he ends up touring with those awful day-glo fleabass efforts...

The dork.

(imho and all that jive)

[neepheid]

[quote name='xilddx' timestamp='1377694231' post='2190448']
Oh f*** off, that's not dorky, that's KOOL.

EDIT: Dork apparently means stupid, inept or unfashionable.
[/quote]

dork [dawrk] Show IPA
noun
1.
Slang. a silly, out-of-touch person who tends to look odd or behave ridiculously around others; a social misfit: If you make me wear that, I’ll look like a total dork! Synonyms: jerk, schmo; nerd, geek.
2.
Slang: Vulgar. penis.
Origin:
1960–65; expressive coinage; compare similar phonetic elements in dolt, dong3 , jerk1 , etc.

Word story
The history of dork is a short one. It’s been around only since the 1950s or 60s, originally as a slang term for “penis.” Most likely dork was just an alternative form of dick, a word that started out as a nickname for Richard—a name meaning “fellow”—but which by the late 1800s, had taken on the additional meaning of “penis” (which is certainly part of a fellow) in British army slang.
By the late 60s, American college students had extended the meaning of dork to refer to a socially awkward person. While at first this sense of dork carried pejorative connotations, the term has since been “taken back” by the people it once so cruelly described, and now can even be given as a compliment. If a girl calls a guy “adorkable” (the combination of “dork” and “adorable”), she means to say he is cute in a socially awkward, yet endearing way.
Geeks and nerds, while still dorky, are generally considered more intelligent than dorks. Next time you call someone a dork think about its short history in the English language, and reflect upon what a word nerd you are.

Edited August 28, 2013 by neepheid

[KingBollock]

I'm going to have to go for a fender jazzes and those Pedulla (is that right?) ones that look like they were really expensively designed by an artist who just dropped globs of paint from a height. Oh and Ritters, even though I think they're lovely, they're still dorky.

[Roland Rock]

[quote name='xilddx' timestamp='1377694005' post='2190444']

I had three splendid young women asking me about my Hohner Jack after a gig once. It was in Whitby though.
[/quote]

Those were not women, they were vampires. Sounds like you had a lucky escape

Edit
Oops, on same wavelength as Billy Apple :-)

Edited August 28, 2013 by Roland Rock

[timmo]

[quote name='Ziphoblat' timestamp='1377693541' post='2190430']
Single cut basses. Vile.
[/quote]
What is a single cut bass. Are they all the ones where the slab of wood comes half way down the top of the neck, or is there something else that defines them as well? Some of them do look awful made worse by having a cut out that looks like a handle.. Strangely I am drawn to it though
[url="http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=images&cd=&docid=sNHHTJ8ipg1PsM&tbnid=ksm-U6BFLTeg6M:&ved=0CAUQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mayones.com%2Fen%2Fkatalog%2Fcs_limited%2Fcaledonius&ei=Rg0eUpiCIY6R0QXa9oDwCw&bvm=bv.51156542,d.d2k&psig=AFQjCNEKry1QmRNXfgAS_Q-nfnmMKalsbg&ust=1377787197863800"][/url]

Edited August 28, 2013 by timmo