ubassman Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 ...anyone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ubassman Posted September 5, 2013 Author Share Posted September 5, 2013 ...you reach for your rosin and realise that its rolled down through the orchestra and is near the left foot of the conductor! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatback Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 You realise the stage is made up of separate cubes and the one your endpin is stuck in is sliding inexorably towards the audience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invicta59 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Your E string snaps and the bridge makes a break for freedom, launches itself into the audience and hits a bloke on the forehead. Bad enough? Nope... the shameful walk of retrieval that ensues..... let me tell you, that 20 foot walk was the longest I ever took... Truth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oggiesnr Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 ... when you realise that not only are you in thumb position but you're actually in tune and playing the right notes! Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRev Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 [quote name='oggiesnr' timestamp='1378448351' post='2200333'] ... when you realise that not only are you in thumb position but you're actually in tune and playing the right notes! Steve [/quote] That has never happened to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TPJ Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 ...you stand up after slipping over on ice and the one item in the db gig bag now seems to be more than one... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 You arrive at the gig to find the ceiling on the stage is one inch above your head and your bass is too tall to be played upright. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jakenewmanbass Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 [quote name='Bilbo' timestamp='1378458758' post='2200487'] You arrive at the gig to find the ceiling on the stage is one inch above your head and your bass is too tall to be played upright. [/quote] This happened to me when I went aboard a Thames river boat cruiser to play for Alan Aykbourn's wife's 50th... I had to sit down... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 It is usually boats! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oggiesnr Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 [quote name='TheRev' timestamp='1378453824' post='2200393'] That has never happened to me. [/quote] It's only happened to me once but I live in hope of a repeat Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jakenewmanbass Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 You get to Germany to play a gig with a supplied bass to find it has been borrowed from the Hamburger Symphonika and at last valuation was placed at 60,000 euro Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jakenewmanbass Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 You arrive at a gig in the Isle of wight to discover that the band bass (which lives in the van) and has recently been on a plane (used by another player ) has had it's neck part company with the body. A few phone calls to a local music shop and I was using an EUB kindly lent to me by a guy who lived 1/4 mile from the gig... (I did give him something for his trouble) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jakenewmanbass Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 You're playing at a university ball in unbearable heat after a rush from a daytime gig, burst into the first number in front of 2000+ students who want to learn lindy hop and through the house PA (which would be fitting for Motorhead) can be heard the sound of what is apparently an incoming shell but turns out to be my bridge slipping from place slamming the pick up into the body at terminal velocity. (I did manage to get it back in place before the end of the number tho) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jakenewmanbass Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 (edited) I could go on all day... Stranded off the west coast of africa, being bought brandies all night by a TV moguls amorous daughter in Taipei, Having my one and only bout of sea sickness having eaten between shows aboard a ship in a storm and vomiting during the piano solo only to dash back on stage to finish the set... I should write a book! Edited September 6, 2013 by jakenewmanbass Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatback Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 [quote name='jakenewmanbass' timestamp='1378459731' post='2200518'] I could go on all day... Stranded off the west coast of africa, being bought brandies all night by a TV moguls amorous daughter in Taipei, Having my one and only bout of sea sickness having eaten between shows aboard a ship in a storm and vomiting during the piano solo only to dash back on stage to finish the set... I should write a book! [/quote] OK, start with the chapter about the TV mogul's amorous daughter in Taipei... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassace Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 As two nights ago, you set up and one of the front line tells you your amp is too loud and there's too much bottom. And you reply 'the amp isn't switched on yet'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassace Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 You get in conversation with a nice guy in a double bass shop. When he's gone the assistant tells you he was Ray Brown. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassace Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 There's more Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TPJ Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 [quote name='fatback' timestamp='1378461729' post='2200556'] OK, start with the chapter about the TV mogul's amorous daughter in Taipei... [/quote] +1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ubassman Posted September 6, 2013 Author Share Posted September 6, 2013 ...your car has broken down, its raining hard and every taxi driver you hail slows down but then accelerates away when he realises that the 'other passenger' isn't a person after all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ubassman Posted September 6, 2013 Author Share Posted September 6, 2013 ..when the other musicians say 'lets nip across the road for a pint after the gig - we can shove our instruments under the table if it gets too crowded ! ' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oggiesnr Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 ... you go to a morris meet in Lincoln and realise that your team's schedule means you have to take your bass down Steep Hill, then back up Steep Hill, then down again and then up again. Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtroun Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 ...you get a round of applause after a bass solo (sympathy) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alistair Sutcliffe Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 ...someone says 'that's a big violin' and you finally lose it and rip their face off. Hasn't happened yet, but it's coming... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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