stef030 Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 after playing in bands for a long time,everything from american rock,blues,originals,covers and almost everything inbetween, I took a long sabatical about ten or so years,didnt pickup oe touch a bass in all that time, although never losing my love of all types of music a couple of years ago I got my mojo back,started practicing ,playing ect got new gear,gk ect,got rid of all the old basses except the 69 jazz,got a overwater ect,went to a couple of auditions,jams ect,got on well, started playing with a covers band,that fell apart,and the same thing happened again,they was just not into practice ect, so maybe its me,or maybe I am just a rubbish judge of character,but I just sort of feel that why should I bother, I have always let my playing get me through,but its not enjoyable anymore,too many people just seem to be full of it or maybe its just me feeling sorry for myself, oh well onwards ect, what does one do when they feel like this,sell up again and take up knitting,or persevere cheers stef Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyfisher Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 [quote name='stef030' timestamp='1379184669' post='2209655'] so maybe its me,or maybe I am just a rubbish judge of character,but I just sort of feel that why should I bother, [/quote] I doubt it's you. There are plenty of examples of personality clashes within bands, from hobby bands to top professional ones, so you're not in a unique situation, just an unfortunate one. I'd suggest that there's no reason to bother if you're no longer enjoying your current circumstances, but that it's almost certainly worth bothering to find a more satisfying situation - because we all know how sh1tty it can be when things are not working but how indescribably great it can be when it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JapanAxe Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 BC has seen a number of threads like this, even in the 12 months or so since I've been here. Short answer: persevere. Longer answer: go for a longish walk, take a notebook with you, have a good think and write down the things you like or don't like about playing in bands (you might have to stop walking occasionally to manage this), then imagine the sort of setup that would best fit your wish list. Maybe sleep on it. Then go out and look for it. Either you will be firm and stick to what you want, or you will compromise and risk disappointment. Also possible to compromise and find yourself pleasantly surprised. Can't see the attraction in knitting though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcgraham Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 If it's any reassurance, you're not alone. Rather than dwell on the negative, or even whether to call it a day, I'd suggest that long walk with a notebook, and write down the things you reeeeally want from making music... for me it was 'I love making music and want to keep doing it' but on my terms, and so I worked on my skills (vocals, guitar, bass, songwriting, keyboard/piano, etc) and general musicianship to a point where people come to me for lessons (so I stay sharp), I can do solo gigs as and when i feel like it, and I get to outright say 'no' to stuff I don't want to do. Everyone has a different set of goals, and I'd suggest pinning that down then choosing to work towards fulfilling those goals. It may be that band stuff isn't for you, and it may mean doing something different musically. You just need to work out whether that is the case or not, then what to do about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xgsjx Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 I've been there. This time last year I nearly sold it all & bought a synth. Then I thought "I'll give it one more go". I advertised for musicians on Gumtree, Joinmyband, Bandmix & at work. I decided that it was going to be an originals band with a couple of covers that we could rework in our own style. Hired & fired a few "musicians" & after almost a year, I now have a 5 piece band that all get on really well with one another & actually get on outside of band life. Most recent addition was the singer, who can really sing & is a writer too & we're now looking to find a keys player (though not essential as the singer can play keys). So have a think what you want to do. Do you want to give it up & take up another instrument? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 (edited) It's the old story. People like the [i]idea [/i]of being in a band. They like telling their friends and family that they are 'in a band'. But an awful lot of people just don't want to put in the necessary amount of hard work, perseverance and total commitment that is needed. It's hard to find a band of people who can play their instruments to a high standard, who are on the same wavelength stylistically and musically, who are talented and intelligent, want the same things out of the band and are prepared to put in the effort and time and make sacrifices over an extended period to make it work. It's like everything else - any idiot can do easy things, but anything worthwhile is always difficult. Edited September 14, 2013 by discreet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grassie Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 The band I'm in now will be my last I think. We're pretty busy, so much so in fact that the money I'm earning from it is going to pay for a family holiday abroad next summer. I hate to say it, but I'm only doing it for the money at the moment. Never thought I would say that. I enjoy it, but some weekends I think "I can't be arsed". Other times I actually look forward to it. It's weird. I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks like that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jezzaboy Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 [quote name='discreet' timestamp='1379188281' post='2209710'] It's the old story. People like the [i]idea [/i]of being in a band. They like telling their friends and family that they are 'in a band'. But an awful lot of people just don't want to put in the necessary amount of hard work, perseverance and total commitment that is needed. It's hard to find a band of people who can play their instruments to a high standard, who are on the same wavelength stylistically and musically, who are talented and intelligent, want the same things out of the band and are prepared to put in the effort and time and make sacrifices over an extended period to make it work. It's like everything else - any idiot can do easy things, but anything worthwhile is always difficult. [/quote] I think this is the most sensible thing that you have ever said Discreet. Don`t let it happen again!! [size=4] [/size] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 [quote name='jezzaboy' timestamp='1379193248' post='2209774'] I think this is the most sensible thing that you have ever said Discreet. [size=4]Don`t let it happen again!! [/size] [/quote] Sorry, sir. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fretmeister Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 I can't be arsed with bands either. I now play in my daughters school orchestra. Wide variety of tunes, from James Bond, to The Beatles, to Bizet. It's properly run as a club on a Saturday by a brilliant music teacher. Not had this much fun for years! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozz196 Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 [quote name='discreet' timestamp='1379188281' post='2209710'] It's the old story. People like the [i]idea [/i]of being in a band. They like telling their friends and family that they are 'in a band'. But an awful lot of people just don't want to put in the necessary amount of hard work, perseverance and total commitment that is needed. It's hard to find a band of people who can play their instruments to a high standard, who are on the same wavelength stylistically and musically, who are talented and intelligent, want the same things out of the band and are prepared to put in the effort and time and make sacrifices over an extended period to make it work. It's like everything else - any idiot can do easy things, but anything worthwhile is always difficult. [/quote] Spot on Mark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lowender Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 (edited) It's called "getting older." You become more discriminating at the same time there's less opportunity. You also tend to be set in your ways and have little patience for incompetence and stupid opinions -- of which there is quite a bit in bands. I believe if it isn't something you do for money, you better REALLY love working with who you're working with, or just do it for kicks and giggles now and then -- otherwise, yeah, why bother? Edited September 14, 2013 by Lowender Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobVbass Posted September 15, 2013 Share Posted September 15, 2013 Just keep swimming there are bands out there with great people who want to put the effort in, you just need to keep trying - do some deps and open mic nights as well - it's a great way of meeting and playing with people without any commitment on either side Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grassie Posted September 15, 2013 Share Posted September 15, 2013 Alex James from Blur has just been on the telly. He said this: "You don't have to play in front of an audience to enjoy music". Wise words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigRedX Posted September 15, 2013 Share Posted September 15, 2013 [quote name='Grassie' timestamp='1379241087' post='2210098'] Alex James from Blur has just been on the telly. He said this: "You don't have to play in front of an audience to enjoy music". Wise words. [/quote] No you don't. But IMO playing front of an audience is one of the most fantastic things ever so if you don't feel that then you're not doing it right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris_b Posted September 15, 2013 Share Posted September 15, 2013 [quote name='BigRedX' timestamp='1379241931' post='2210111'] ....playing front of an audience is one of the most fantastic things ever.... [/quote] +10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE Posted September 15, 2013 Share Posted September 15, 2013 Back in the '90s I got disillusioned and quit bands for about 7 years. It was only back in 2012, or thereabouts that I started again. Despite playing root notes and relying on Mr.Guitar I was good as an intermediate player. When I started the band thing again , I had to up my game quite a bit. Now I can find out how to play some songs by ear and I am pleasantly surprised by this. I use both fingers and pick. I don't really bother with slap,and spent too much time being messy at it. I don't drive , which is /was a problem. The scene where I am is stale and I don't want to play in front of one man and his dog ,after the practice I used to put in. Having said that, it is an outlet I do miss as my life is boring and stale at the moment. I would like to just jam with others in rehearsal rooms(similar to band practice) but I am worried that I'm not good enough to do it. Being 50 and less tolerant of a@@ holes is not good either. Back to the op ; my suggestion is to take a break and see if you miss it . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
borisbrain Posted September 15, 2013 Share Posted September 15, 2013 So many bands, so little time. Keep at it, and find the right one for you. Make sure it's fun. My current band is in its 6th year, prior to which I had taken a similar 10 year sabbatical. It's an absolute hoot. Bestaluck, BB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted September 15, 2013 Share Posted September 15, 2013 [quote name='stef030' timestamp='1379184669' post='2209655'] ... the same thing happened again,they was just not into practice ect, ... [/quote] What do you mean by this? Last night I played a mediocre gig. The drummer was frustrated at the singer and guitarist not keeping the gig flowing. I played lots of bum notes in tunes I know backwards, the guitarist got lost. However, at the end of every song the audience not only clapped but cheered. At the end of the gig we played two encores! We're too hard on ourselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stef030 Posted September 15, 2013 Author Share Posted September 15, 2013 well once again the collective knowledge and advice on basschat come through,' after reading the comments the advice and generally having a look at myself everyone is right oh and so am I yes playing is not only a hobby but part of who I,WE are, playing live is just epic, I should not be so hard on myself and also so defeatist, the amount of times over the years people have said you are so lucky to be able to play a instrument,but we say thanks not really nowing how it feels not to play because we have always done it so in a way take it for granted,when there are so many people would love to be able to butcant or dont so in answer to all the comments made no I will not stop no I will not sell up yes I will look for something new,and keep looking give myself a good talking to lol so thanks for all the comments made it made a silly old git realise a few things cheers stef ps will keep posted on progress Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted September 15, 2013 Share Posted September 15, 2013 (edited) Yay!! Collective Old Git Power rules!! Edited September 15, 2013 by discreet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martin8708 Posted September 15, 2013 Share Posted September 15, 2013 Back in the Jurassic period ( about 20 - 30 years ago ) band members seem to have more loyalty to each other ,and make the effort to pull together and work hard to make the band a success . My impression of bands today are if they are not an instant success , the towel is thrown in and we all go our separate ways . Stef, I have been in your situation too many times , which I why I now practice acoustic guitar equally with my bass playing. I have also starting singing about a quarter of our current set list , Hopefully , the more I can offer as a musician , the stronger my position in the local circle of musicians will be . Dont throw in the towel , just up your game and people will want you in their band . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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