Glamour models can't play bass - fact.

[skidder652003]

So at last nights gig at a particularly sh*te pub, there's these 2 rather lovely very skinny but generously upfronted (?) girls, very drunk, dancing when one goes up to the guitarist/singer and shouts mid way through a song (like they always do) if she can sing. He smiles and shakes his head, so she moves on to the drummer and yells if she can have a go on the sticks. He shakes his head, she takes one look at yours truly and just walks away... charming. The girlfriend of said guitard then throws a punch at skinny girl and all hell breaks loose, guitarist amp dies and we set of the smoke alarm with the new haze machine, all for £60 each in a storm. Rock n Roll.

[Dingus]

We've banned smoking from pubs , so maybe next we could ban bimbos , or women altogether . I would miss both myself , but the harsh fact is that we all know that women and drink don't mix , and you only need to go into any town centre in Britain on any night of the week to see that . Perhaps we need to admit that Britain was a much better and much safer place when men went out drinking and their women waited at home for them .

[flyfisher]

Indeed. Women, know your limits.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w

[skidder652003]

T'was better when we sent the little scamps up chimmneys TBH, I know I would appreciate a little less screeching and bickering around my house.

[Roland Rock]

Guitarist's girlfriend sounds like a classy lady

[lowdown]

[quote name='Dingus' timestamp='1382879961' post='2257455']
Perhaps we need to admit that Britain was a much better and much safer place when men went out drinking and their women waited at home for them .
[/quote]

I remember those days, you could get drunk, forget where you lived and go to any home to be greeted by any woman,
It did not have to be you own.

[flyfisher]

[quote name='skidder652003' timestamp='1382880450' post='2257464']
T'was better when we sent the little scamps up chimmneys TBH, I know I would appreciate a little less screeching and bickering around my house.
[/quote]

Aye. I blame the tories for closing down t'pits. Now we 'ave to keep the little buggers in school instead of sending them out to work at 14.

[FinnDave]

We had a lady old enough to know better land at our feet last night after tangling herself up in the floor lights and one monitor. Our quick thinking guitarist grabbed his mic stand as she landed at his feet. We never missed a note!

[JapanAxe]

[quote name='skidder652003' timestamp='1382879177' post='2257441']
So at last nights gig at a particularly sh*te pub, there's these 2 rather lovely very skinny but generously upfronted (?) girls, very drunk, dancing when one goes up to the guitarist/singer and shouts mid way through a song (like they always do) if she can sing. He smiles and shakes his head, so she moves on to the drummer and yells if she can have a go on the sticks. He shakes his head, she takes one look at yours truly and just walks away... charming. The girlfriend of said guitard then throws a punch at skinny girl and all hell breaks loose, guitarist amp dies and we set of the smoke alarm with the new haze machine, all for £60 each in a storm. Rock n Roll.
[/quote]
We had just done the sound check for a pub gig when two young ladies approached the stage. One asked me, 'Can my friend sing?', to which I replied, 'I don't know, I've never heard her.' They retreated in confusion.

[Marvin]

[quote name='skidder652003' timestamp='1382879177' post='2257441']
So at last nights gig at a particularly sh*te pub, there's these 2 rather lovely very skinny but generously upfronted (?) girls, very drunk, dancing when one goes up to the guitarist/singer and shouts mid way through a song (like they always do) if she can sing. He smiles and shakes his head, so she moves on to the drummer and yells if she can have a go on the sticks. He shakes his head, she takes one look at yours truly and just walks away... charming. The girlfriend of said guitard then throws a punch at skinny girl and all hell breaks loose, guitarist amp dies and we set of the smoke alarm with the new haze machine, all for £60 each in a storm. Rock n Roll.
[/quote]

As a resident of Devon I am shocked at such behaviour...which pub? I need to make sure I avoid it, I'm a delicate sort

[Dingus]

[quote name='lowdown' timestamp='1382880756' post='2257468']
I remember those days, you could get drunk, forget where you lived and go to any home to be greeted by any woman,
It did not have to be you own.
[/quote]

Being bashed on the head with a rolling pin by one woman with curlers in is pretty much the same as being bashed on the head by another .

[Dingus]

[quote name='Marvin' timestamp='1382881884' post='2257488']
As a resident of Devon I am shocked at such behaviour...which pub? I need to make sure I avoid it, I'm a delicate sort
[/quote]

I often daydream about moving to Devon . You have an ample supply down there of two of the things that make life most worth living - women and custard. Are there many buxom and as yet unattached milkmaids in your neck of the woods ? ( Someone like Joss Stone but without the singing would do) . Please say yes and keep my dream alive.

Edited October 27, 2013 by Dingus

[discreet]

[quote name='Dingus' timestamp='1382879961' post='2257455']
...women and drink don't mix...
[/quote]

Having once been married to a Scandinavian, I can only agree.

[Happy Jack]

Glamour models can't play bass? Nonsense!

You want proof?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcATvu5f9vE

[Cat Burrito]

I have a girl in each of my bands who are both talented and classy, each good looking. One plays violin / keyboards and one sings. Drunken idiots in pubs come in all shapes and sizes after all.

[Dingus]

[quote name='discreet' timestamp='1382882575' post='2257497']
Having once been married to a Scandinavian, I can only agree.
[/quote]

I expect things could get a bit "viking" after one too many Heinekens . At least they can do lots of things with fish .

Edited October 27, 2013 by Dingus

[BassBus]

[quote name='Happy Jack' timestamp='1382882612' post='2257498']
Glamour models can't play bass? Nonsense!

You want proof?

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcATvu5f9vE[/media]
[/quote]

That's all the proof anyone needs to say women can't play bass. They give good video though.

[Dingus]

[quote name='Happy Jack' timestamp='1382882612' post='2257498']
Glamour models can't play bass? Nonsense!

You want proof?

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcATvu5f9vE[/media]
[/quote]

Her technique is poor .

[lowdown]

[size=4][quote name='discreet' timestamp='1382882575' post='2257497'][/size]

Having once been married to a Scandinavian, I can only agree.
[/quote]

Is this the lady in question ?
If so, it really is all over when she sings.


[URL=http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/546/ojg4.jpg/][IMG]http://img546.imageshack.us/img546/9607/ojg4.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

[Marvin]

[quote name='Dingus' timestamp='1382882236' post='2257494']
I often daydream about moving to Devon . You have an ample supply down there of two of the things that make life most worth living - women and custard. Are there many buxom and as yet unattached milkmaids in your neck of the woods ? ( Someone like Joss Stone but without the singing would do) . Please say yes and keep my dream alive.
[/quote]

Why yes, of course

[Lozz196]

Often happens in my punk band, drunk bird will come up to the singer and ask if we play any Kings of Leon.

He usually tells them to eff off. I think he gets away with it as throughout most of the gig he`s abusive to most of the audience, in a part-of-the-act way.

Drunk people who don`t know music genres (especially ones that were around 20 years before they were born) are bound to do things like that, they don`t mean any harm. If they actually cause harm then deal with it at that point.

[Bolo]

I'm with Happy Jack on this one, here's more evidence:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=387ZDGSKVSg

Edited March 24, 2014 by icastle
Link fixed.

[seashell]

Personally, I adopt a more 'Mrs Merton plays bass' style. Keeps me out of trouble.

[discreet]

[quote name='Dingus' timestamp='1382882236' post='2257494']
I often daydream about moving to Devon...
[/quote]

Keep it as a dream, mate - there is no rural idyll in modern Britain. There are no jobs, no shops, no public transport, no affordable housing and poverty is rampant. You'll become isolated and mentally ill. It's cold. You'll be forced into slave labour tending a cannabis farm in a shipping container buried underground, and your eastern European taskmaster will have his way with you nightly. Eeurgh!

[Dingus]

[quote name='seashell' timestamp='1382890055' post='2257607']
Personally, I adopt a more 'Mrs Merton plays bass' style. Keeps me out of trouble.
[/quote]

But Shelly , you have got the priceless secret weapon that you [i] can actually [/i]play the bass . You should harangue some young whippersnapper struting and pouting on the stage of your local pub for a go on his bass ... and then get up there and actually play it ! ( possibly even better than he does) . That will leave them scratching their heads . It's the musical equivalent of the muggers who have the misfortune to pick on an old lady who happens to be a kung fu master .