Mad Friday

[Dr.Dave]

My gig tonight's in a particularly manic joint , The Hop , here in Wakey. Should be an absolute belter but.... tonight's the night when folk have been out since close of play at work and are over pissed. We have Marc (latin name 'biggus twatus') and Derek (deckus nobheadus ) to field the more scrotal Williams away from the stage and back into the gutter where they belong should any sort of pagga ensue - but if any of you have a pub gig tonight and don't have the benefit of a pet pair of big hitters - enjoy your Xmas gig but watch yourselves.

[Lord Sausage]

I used to run pubs. We f-ing hated this day!

[Johnm93]

Surely it was one of your most lucrative nights?

[discreet]

Last weekend before Christmas - Christmas Eve - New Year's Eve - St Patricks's Night - and so on. I always try to stay in at such times to avoid the preponderance of amateur drinkers, who inevitably become VERY 'unreliable' indeed. Nasty business.

It just ruins things for experienced, well-behaved alcoholics, in my opinion.

[Graham]

[quote name='discreet' timestamp='1387562241' post='2313458']
Last weekend before Christmas - Christmas Eve - New Year's Eve - St Patricks's Night - and so on. I always try to stay in at such times to avoid the preponderance of amateur drinkers, who inevitably become VERY 'unreliable' indeed. Nasty business.

It just ruins things for experienced, well-behaved alcoholics, in my opinion.
[/quote]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/pubs-to-trial-professional-lanes-2013122082253

[discreet]

[quote name='Graham' timestamp='1387562867' post='2313469']
[url="http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/pubs-to-trial-professional-lanes-2013122082253"]http://www.thedailym...s-2013122082253[/url]
[/quote]

Ha, ha! [size=4] It's funny because it's true.[/size]

[Lord Sausage]

[quote name='Johnm93' timestamp='1387562042' post='2313453']
Surely it was one of your most lucrative nights?
[/quote]I was manger for a pub a pub company rather than a landlord so i made no extra money!

[spinynorman]

[quote]Applicants are assessed on whether they order Guinness before their other drinks, can demonstrate awareness of how long others have been waiting and are able to carry three drinks without a tray.[/quote]

Woah! I'm a pro!

[gary mac]

We are playing a pub gig tonight. It was fairly hectic last time we played there, drunken herberts falling over the monitors and crashing into our space. Guess it will be even worse tonight.
A night to be using one of my more roadworn instruments I think.

Thanks for the warning Doc

[Billy Apple]

[quote name='Graham' timestamp='1387562867' post='2313469']
[url="http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/business/pubs-to-trial-professional-lanes-2013122082253"]http://www.thedailym...s-2013122082253[/url]
[/quote]

Proper laughed at that one

[Oopsdabassist]

Yup I'm out tonight too, nervous already!....I haz big boots on

[discreet]

[quote name='Oopsdabassist' timestamp='1387563820' post='2313491']
I haz big boots on.
[/quote]

You'll need 'em for wading through all the sick.

[TheRev]

I'm not gigging this weekend due to the iminent arrival of baby Rev, so we had ^this gig^ last weekend....... To be fair, Skimmity Hitchers gigs are usually pretty raucous affairs, but this was a 'homecoming' gig in Dorchester, matched with a fan's 50th birthday and a load of locals out on the lash, hittting our venue and finding the interesting collection of strong scrumpy ciders on offer.
So, three occasions of the packed crowd falling over the monitors and onto the stage and two totally out of it pi**heads falling into everyone and causing a fight, resulting in a trashed Christmas tree, some freaked out fans and the police being called to deal with the aforementioned pi**heads.

Was still a good gig though.

[discreet]

[quote name='TheRev' timestamp='1387572977' post='2313613']
I'm not gigging this weekend due to the imminent arrival of baby Rev...
[/quote]

Congratulations, have you bought him a bass yet? It IS a boy, isn't it?

[TheRev]

[quote name='discreet' timestamp='1387579441' post='2313661']
Congratulations, have you bought him a bass yet? It IS a boy, isn't it?
[/quote]

We don't know which it is. Doesn't really matter, basses will be bought regardless....

[discreet]

[quote name='TheRev' timestamp='1387580869' post='2313671']
We don't know which it is. Doesn't really matter, basses will be bought regardless...
[/quote]

Excellent. Don't want any of that gender stereotyping nonsense.

[uncle psychosis]

Worst night of the year to do anything. Most town centres resemble the end of days by about 7pm. Ugh.

[The Admiral]

I got out of a works do in Manchester at about 9 tonight and the streets were already starting to resemble Residents Evil. They don't call it 'black eye Friday' for nothing.

[bobbass4k]

Left our works do about 9 too. The pub we were in wasn't actually that bad, but on our way to another pub, I heard an odd splashing sound. I turned around to the truly haunting sight of a grown man casually vomiting on himself as he stumbled down the road. He stopped, looked at his vomit covered shirt, then carried on stumbling. I decided to call it quits.

[discreet]

[size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif][quote name='bobbass4k' timestamp='1387587407' post='2313714']
...I turned around to the truly haunting sight of a grown man casually vomiting on himself as he stumbled down the road. He stopped, looked at his vomit covered shirt, then carried on stumbling. I decided to call it quits.[/quote][/font][/size]
[size=4][font=arial,helvetica,sans-serif][color=#3E3E3E]I heard a rather nice story from Sir Clement Freud about a man who drank a lot and his wife said, "if you ever come home drunk again, I'm going to leave you". He went out to a pub and drank a lot and was sick all over his shirt, and said to his friend, "If I go home like this my wife will leave me". His friend said, "I tell you what, put a twenty-pound note in your inside jacket pocket, go home and show it to her and tell her somebody threw up over you and he gave you the money for the dry-cleaning bill".[/color]

[color=#3E3E3E]He goes home and his wife's angry at the state of him and tells him she is leaving, but he says, "No, no, no, somebody was sick on me and he put a twenty-pound note in my jacket pocket for the dry-cleaning bill". His wife digs into his jacket pocket and pulls out some more money, and said, "Why have you got two twenty-pound notes in there?" he said, "Oh the other twenty is from the bloke who sh@t in my pants".[/color][/font][/size]

Edited December 21, 2013 by discreet

[Lozz196]

Just got in from a gig, yep, mega-drunk people out and about but all were in high (and probably full of) spirits. No trouble, smiles and laughs all around. Made a pleasant change to Freaky Friday.

[gary mac]

We got through unscathed, all friendly, happy and mucho dancing.

Hope tonight's is a good one as well. Last of the year and then a period of rest and relaxation until our next one on Feb 1st.