karlfer Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 So, been with the band 4 years, just pub cover band but we gig plenty. Last 3 months I have put an extra 2 hours on each gig, picking the PA up and dropping it off. This is because one of the guitarists broke his foot and we went out as a 3 piece. He had kept the PA up until then. In the last 4 years I've had a few offers, but kept loyal to just one band. It came to my attention accidentally yesterday, that the other two of the 3 piece are getting back the band they had 30 years ago. Different bass player so I'm obviously not invited. The band I am working with them in, would have had to cancel the last three months of gigs, had I not made the extra effort. The 30 year old band were put together for a date at a Uni next year. Now already they are talking about a few more gigs to get "stage ready". So, less time for my current band from them two . Am I happy to play second fiddle? Very unlikely. I am gutted they never had the courtesy over the last three months to tell me what was going on. I am gutted at the way I have been treated. I have cancelled tomorrow night's rehearsal without telling them why. If they have kept it quiet like this, what else is going on? Not really keen on even speaking to them at the moment. I know in the big scheme of things this is petty, but I am gutted. Some people just don't think through the consequences of their actions. Very probably about to be bandless. Karl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UglyDog Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 Courtesy and communication costs nothing. IMHO you have every right to be pissed off with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fionn Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 Sorry to hear about that situation, but you're right enough to get the hell out of there. No one should let themselves be taken for granted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len_derby Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 Sounds very Pooey on the face of it. What about the guitarist with the broken foot? Is he part of the betrayal? Maybe you and him are the nucleus of a new band. And it sounds as if either one of you has hold of the PA... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spongebob Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 +1 on getting out. Sounds like they're being a bit short-sighted with their nostagia fest.....bet they'll come crawling back, you can then have the pleasure in telling them to look elsewhere! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monckyman Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 My advice, take your time and talk it through properly before getting emotional. Bands are bloody hard work most of the time and the fact you stuck with this one for four years means something. Just tell them how you feel and see what they say. If the reunion is to be long term then you'll need an alternative, if it's just a few gigs, it aint worth getting bothered about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tony_m Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 Hmm, never having been in such a situation myself (yet... ), I don't really know what to say, but did wonder what was going on when I saw Jeff's Brofest post on FB yesterday. I presumed it was just going to be a short-lived, amusing sideline for them - if it isn't, then it'll be interesting to see just how long their shiny new adventure goes on for. Nostalgia ain't what it used to be, there are very few NWOBHM bands I'd bother going to see if they re-formed, and they aren't one of 'em. In the meantime, chin up!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karlfer Posted April 1, 2014 Author Share Posted April 1, 2014 (edited) Cheers folks, as I said, I'm gutted at the way it's been done. Tony, you are a star mate turning up to see us in your area, even at some frankly dire places (mind Kirkham finished VERY well, packed the last half hour ). Thing is though Tony, you may well have known about this (ie noticed Jeff's post) before me. As I say, just the way it's been done, me finding out by accident really. They don't know why I have cancelled tomorrow night and frankly I'm too upset to answer Jeff's text/email. Still, not life threatening is it. Might be time to find some musu's for the dream band I've always wanted. Rock and roll only, from Gene Vincent through the ages to Paulo Nutini or whatever they call him . Thanks for listening to the rant folks, cheers, Karl. Sorry Len, unlikely me and t'other guitarist would form a band together, his musical preferences are a long way from mine. Edited April 1, 2014 by karlfer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xilddx Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 [quote name='Monckyman' timestamp='1396371024' post='2412811'] My advice, take your time and talk it through properly before getting emotional. Bands are bloody hard work most of the time and the fact you stuck with this one for four years means something. Just tell them how you feel and see what they say. If the reunion is to be long term then you'll need an alternative, if it's just a few gigs, it aint worth getting bothered about. [/quote] I think this is good advice, Karl. Honesty and candour may allow them to feel confident telling you the truth. Then you can make more informed decisions, even if the truth may sting a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karlfer Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 Thing is Nige, all they had to do is, at the first approach, "Karl, listen, we have been approached by". They did not do this. Already it has moved on from one 30 minute gig, to that, plus a couple of warm up gigs. Knowing the drummer and guitarist, they will want at least half a dozen rehearsals. All this is a minimum and impinges on the time of the currently gigging band. Sadly in a text to me last night (to which I have not responded), the drummer stated it was just one 30 min gig. That is not true so further trust issues ensue. I'm an old fart who likes things to be done properly. I have spat the dummy in the past. However, even our lass thinks they should have been honest with me from first contact. ANYBODY in the north west looking for a bass gig might like to approach them through NWB via the link "bass for BBGM" below. A very gutted Hector Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Blimey. You don't own them mate. Show a bit of perspective. Have they actually cancelled rehearsals for the gigging band yet? Do you actually need rehearsals if you are gigging regularly? Many of us are in two or three bands and manage it quite well. Why do you have to be bandless? If the gigging band is going well stick with it. If it starts to look like you're not gigging enough, join an additional band. I assume that this 'university' band are playing originals and unlikely to be gigging regularly and will very probably be a flash in the pan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skybone Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 [quote name='TimR' timestamp='1396425401' post='2413304']Blimey. You don't own them mate. Show a bit of perspective. Have they actually cancelled rehearsals for the gigging band yet? Do you actually need rehearsals if you are gigging regularly? Many of us are in two or three bands and manage it quite well. Why do you have to be bandless? If the gigging band is going well stick with it. If it starts to look like you're not gigging enough, join an additional band. I assume that this 'university' band are playing originals and unlikely to be gigging regularly and will very probably be a flash in the pan. [/quote] But surely the perspective is that of "communication is key". If the other band members want to continue with this band AND "have a bit of fun on the side" by reforming an old band, then surely it's not too much to ask that the other people involved in band A be informed of what's happening? Being in a band is all about communication IMO, it is after all a "team", you all come together for a common aim, ie, the music. As for being in more than one band, yes, that's all well and good [b]if you have the time[/b]. Some of us simply don't have the time to be in 1 band, let alone 3, as life kind of has a habit of getting in the way. If you're in more than 1 band, then that's fantastic, but that's simply not practical for a lot of us with families & demanding jobs etc. In that instance, I would say that it may be you that would need to "show some perspective", rather than karlfer. To quote an old BT ad, "It's good to talk". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karlfer Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 Thanks Skybone, communication and a little respect are exactly the key. TimR at the risk of me being Modded I look at your comments on many threads and frankly think half of them would be an attempt to start a punch up in a convent. Just my perspective, you understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6v6 Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 [quote name='TimR' timestamp='1396425401' post='2413304'] Blimey. You don't own them mate. Show a bit of perspective. Have they actually cancelled rehearsals for the gigging band yet? Do you actually need rehearsals if you are gigging regularly? Many of us are in two or three bands and manage it quite well. Why do you have to be bandless? If the gigging band is going well stick with it. If it starts to look like you're not gigging enough, join an additional band. I assume that this 'university' band are playing originals and unlikely to be gigging regularly and will very probably be a flash in the pan. [/quote] Bit harsh but I tend to agree. Sounds like the communication could have been handled better, but plenty of people (myself included) play in more than one band without issues. I don't really get the "loyal to just one band" thing at all, provided you have the time to play with different bands and be sufficiently committed, mix it up and play with them IMO, it's all good experience. I agree you should take your time and see how things work out rather than just quitting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gary mac Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 [quote name='karlfer' timestamp='1396429151' post='2413360'] Thanks Skybone, communication and a little respect are exactly the key. TimR at the risk of me being Modded I look at your comments on many threads and frankly think half of them would be an attempt to start a punch up in a convent. Just my perspective, you understand. [/quote] It's all very well us lot advising but it's a difficult thing because we all come at things from a different perspective. Hope you get it sorted Karl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karlfer Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 Thanks Gary, appreciated. 6v6, I've been playing, badly, for almost 40 years. In bands, off and on for perhaps 30+ of those years. I've never been in more than one band at a time. I have never wanted to be. I have never wanted to have split loyalties with the folk I'm working with at the time. Yes. I realise that's not everybody's "bag" and I realise others will wish to spread their talents about. If they had told me before I saw the announcement on FB, it would have been fine. And yes, I am that much of a tart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodyratm Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 [quote name='6v6' timestamp='1396431056' post='2413391'] Bit harsh but I tend to agree. Sounds like the communication could have been handled better, but plenty of people (myself included) play in more than one band without issues. I don't really get the "loyal to just one band" thing at all, provided you have the time to play with different bands and be sufficiently committed, mix it up and play with them IMO, it's all good experience. I agree you should take your time and see how things work out rather than just quitting. [/quote] +1 I don't fully understand - you're in a 3 piece, which does covers? But your guitarist and drummer are forming/reforming a band from years gone by, playing originals? As someone else said above, if you've been together for 4 years and are still enjoying gigging - then why leave? Surely thats a case of cutting your nose of despite your face? Having two bands on the go isn't that hard to do. If gigs start being cancelled and what not, then yeah - look again. But I think you're worrying for no reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 [quote name='karlfer' timestamp='1396429151' post='2413360'] Thanks Skybone, communication and a little respect are exactly the key. TimR at the risk of me being Modded I look at your comments on many threads and frankly think half of them would be an attempt to start a punch up in a convent. Just my perspective, you understand. [/quote] No that's fine. I don't see why you would be modded. I suspect you might feel like that because I seem to have a completely different perspective on life than you do. Possibly so do your band mates. I would only inform the people I played with that I'm doing something else if it was directly going to affect them. Maybe that's the take your band mates are taking. By your own admission you haven't heard back from the drummer and you are a 'tart'. I think you should sit back and think and wait before throwing your toys out of the pram and end up being bandless for the sake of a bit of hurt pride. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 I'm not your enemy and I'm not here for a fight. Just that I've been there and done that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karlfer Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 Sorry, no it's a 4 piece. We have been playing as a 3 piece for the last three months as one of the guitarists broke his foot. He is back for his return gig on April 12th. In the 3 months he has been away, I have had to go to the drummers, pick up the PA as he has been storing it. Then take it to the gig, then take it back to the drummers after the gig. Then go home. A recent gig, close to my home would have been a fabulous 7.15 leave home. To perform the above, I actually had to leave home at 6.10. That, either side of each gig, or we would, as a band, have had to cancel the last three months gigs. That is all irrelevant to be honest, I did it willingly,in a Victor Meldrew kinda way . The hurting part is I found out about them getting the other band back together, by accident, on Faecesbook. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevB Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 A lot of bands are notoriously [email="cr@p"]cr@p[/email] at communications at the best of times, I've just turned down a new prospective project partly due to lousy comms from them. It has clearly driven a bit of a divide between you and som eof the other members. However, if it has been a successful gigging band and you would otherwise have liked it to have carried on (personally I doubt I'd stay in any covers band more than 4 years but its all personal choice) then be cautious about throwing the baby out with the bathwater. The other band project shows all the hallmarks of being a 'last hurrah' ego boosting type of thing and they never last, a mate of mine did the same thing with a reformation of an old locally well know act and it lasted one album and seems to have fizzled out again. Once this nostalgia trip runs its course and they are back in the real world and need regular gigs again they will be looking to you to provide the bottom end again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 We had a very good guitarist suffenly pack up a leave. He'd been playing with an old band from his university days and decided that two bands was too much for him. No great shakes, two years later he called me and asked me to dep for them as they'd kicked the bass player out. If the whole band and gone off and formed another covers with a different bass player then you would have something to worry about. I think you're just venting though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karlfer Posted April 2, 2014 Author Share Posted April 2, 2014 TimR drummer had texted me (post#10), indeed, several times now, and yes you and I obviously do have different perspectives. Not really an issue. From your own comment, you would have hacked me off. In my opinion, their actions do and will have a direct affect on me. I know you are not my enemy. Yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 [quote name='karlfer' timestamp='1396434525' post='2413452'] TimR drummer had texted me (post#10), indeed, several times now, ... [/quote] Ok. I didn't read that properly. I would forget texting and ring him. Texts and Facebook are pretty rubbish when it's got to that stage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musicman20 Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 I completely understand that this has offended you. It would me. I also have no idea how people have time for 2-3 bands. I don't have time to search for a new band or even write music at the moment! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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