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I can beat "Fancy having a laugh at my expense"


morsefull
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One of the bands I play in was booked for a wedding last Sat.

The groom used to live with our guitarist and consequently we were booked "as a favour" for the incredible price of £65 each (5 piece + ipod disco).

It was local and we thought hey, we're not out that night so we may as well do it.
2 hrs before setting off we find that the venue has magically moved from 2 miles away to 15 miles...

We arrive at a village hall at 6.30 pm as arranged to set up for the evening.The guests look like they've been regulars on the Jeremy Kyle show and I'm starting to get apprehensive. "Oh well" we say "it might be fine", so a quick sound check and we go outside to relax.

The groom is throwing up in the car park.

The bride has finished projectile vomiting across the dance floor and is being consoled by her mother.

We go outside to find the best man, but he's gone home. :blink:

At 7.30 pm there are 35 ish people left and some are asking "when are the band on".

No-one knows where the bride and groom are so I say sod it lets go on .

We start playing and the brides mother appears from nowhere screaming JUST F***K OFF HOME !! THEY'RE NOT HERE!!

By this time 2 people are dancing like nothings happened and we tell her politely "we're booked to play and we're playing!

Her husband appears and turns all the lights on and the few remaining family members start clearing up, so we play 4 songs and finish.

We couldn't find anyone to pay us so we didn't get paid! but then again nor did the hog roast supplier or the venue !!

The latest is the newly weds have no money whatsoever........ Tossers.

The moral of this story...........NEVER TRUST YOUR GUITARIST TO BOOK A GIG FOR HIS "MATE" :angry:

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Man, you sooo won the G.O.T.Y.A. for 2014 as well as 2015!

I'm sure you have all our sympathy.
At the sime time, you do know how to turn deep sympathy into a shedload of tears rolling off faces.

.

On the serious side though, this is yet another lesson in the classic notion that [b]any activity around weddings always is to be prepaid[/b]. This is essential, for obvious reasons: it always cost more than they'd hoped for, they always have less money than they anticipated, they always want also this and also that as it's a once-in-a-lifetime thing, the "it's MY day!!!!!!!!!!!!" bridezilla reasoning.... the works.


But yes, in all of this, you do have my sympathy. Chin up, eh?

Edited by BassTractor
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[quote name='morsefull' timestamp='1403554604' post='2483914']
One of the bands I play in was booked for a wedding last Sat.

The groom used to live with our guitarist and consequently we were booked "as a favour" for the incredible price of £65 each (5 piece + ipod disco).

It was local and we thought hey, we're not out that night so we may as well do it.
2 hrs before setting off we find that the venue has magically moved from 2 miles away to 15 miles...

We arrive at a village hall at 6.30 pm as arranged to set up for the evening.The guests look like they've been regulars on the Jeremy Kyle show and I'm starting to get apprehensive. "Oh well" we say "it might be fine", so a quick sound check and we go outside to relax.

The groom is throwing up in the car park.

The bride has finished projectile vomiting across the dance floor and is being consoled by her mother.

We go outside to find the best man, but he's gone home. :blink:

At 7.30 pm there are 35 ish people left and some are asking "when are the band on".

No-one knows where the bride and groom are so I say sod it lets go on .

We start playing and the brides mother appears from nowhere screaming JUST F***K OFF HOME !! THEY'RE NOT HERE!!

By this time 2 people are dancing like nothings happened and we tell her politely "we're booked to play and we're playing!

Her husband appears and turns all the lights on and the few remaining family members start clearing up, so we play 4 songs and finish.

We couldn't find anyone to pay us so we didn't get paid! but then again nor did the hog roast supplier or the venue !!

The latest is the newly weds have no money whatsoever........ Tossers.

The moral of this story...........NEVER TRUST YOUR GUITARIST TO BOOK A GIG FOR HIS "MATE" :angry:
[/quote]

:useless: :useless:

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Not entirely the same but we once played at a pub. Set up and started, people were coming and going but it then started to literally empty and the periods between being busy and quiet got longer, Ended up jus 2 people left. The guy gets up to leave and I jokingly told him he couldn't leave, he replied was just going to the loo. 2 mins later, his missis grabs their coats and runs out ha ha ha......no one left. I asked the barman what he wanted to do and he said just finish if we wanted. Still got the whole fee and was tucked up in bed by 11. Reeeeeesult Those crazy Pontefractians (or whatever they're collectively known as)

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[quote name='hiram.k.hackenbacker' timestamp='1403596909' post='2484164']
Really? I've clearly been doing it wrong all these years then! Either that, or I've just been lucky and have played at all the right kinds of weddings! I think we would have lost a fair few gigs over the years by demanding prepayment.
[/quote]

OK, I guess that you've rather been doing everything right.
Still, I stick with the notion I may have worded slightly exagerated.
BTW it's a notion I don't have as a wedding band player but as a paid church organ player and photographer. As an organ player, I'd too often hear the "we're soooo sorry, but everything got sooo much more expensive..."', and as a photographer I was taught to only deliver test prints before payment, as happy couples too often suddenly become poor after delivery of the official prints.

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