morsefull Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 One of the bands I play in was booked for a wedding last Sat. The groom used to live with our guitarist and consequently we were booked "as a favour" for the incredible price of £65 each (5 piece + ipod disco). It was local and we thought hey, we're not out that night so we may as well do it. 2 hrs before setting off we find that the venue has magically moved from 2 miles away to 15 miles... We arrive at a village hall at 6.30 pm as arranged to set up for the evening.The guests look like they've been regulars on the Jeremy Kyle show and I'm starting to get apprehensive. "Oh well" we say "it might be fine", so a quick sound check and we go outside to relax. The groom is throwing up in the car park. The bride has finished projectile vomiting across the dance floor and is being consoled by her mother. We go outside to find the best man, but he's gone home. At 7.30 pm there are 35 ish people left and some are asking "when are the band on". No-one knows where the bride and groom are so I say sod it lets go on . We start playing and the brides mother appears from nowhere screaming JUST F***K OFF HOME !! THEY'RE NOT HERE!! By this time 2 people are dancing like nothings happened and we tell her politely "we're booked to play and we're playing! Her husband appears and turns all the lights on and the few remaining family members start clearing up, so we play 4 songs and finish. We couldn't find anyone to pay us so we didn't get paid! but then again nor did the hog roast supplier or the venue !! The latest is the newly weds have no money whatsoever........ Tossers. The moral of this story...........NEVER TRUST YOUR GUITARIST TO BOOK A GIG FOR HIS "MATE" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leschirons Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 That, my friend, is a classic "gig of the year" entry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTUK Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 now, that is funny..... gotta laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stingrayPete1977 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Brilliant, why do we do it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassTractor Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 (edited) Man, you sooo won the G.O.T.Y.A. for 2014 as well as 2015! I'm sure you have all our sympathy. At the sime time, you do know how to turn deep sympathy into a shedload of tears rolling off faces. . On the serious side though, this is yet another lesson in the classic notion that [b]any activity around weddings always is to be prepaid[/b]. This is essential, for obvious reasons: it always cost more than they'd hoped for, they always have less money than they anticipated, they always want also this and also that as it's a once-in-a-lifetime thing, the "it's MY day!!!!!!!!!!!!" bridezilla reasoning.... the works. But yes, in all of this, you do have my sympathy. Chin up, eh? Edited June 23, 2014 by BassTractor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toneknob Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Still, plenty of hog roast to around? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skidder652003 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 classic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyfisher Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 (edited) I feel a bit sorry for StingrayPete now but, fair's fair, that well and truly trumps his charity gig. Surely no one can top this? Edited June 23, 2014 by flyfisher Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 [quote name='morsefull' timestamp='1403554604' post='2483914'] The moral of this story...........NEVER TRUST YOUR GUITARIST TO BOOK A GIG FOR HIS "MATE" [/quote] Or, the moral of this story... NEVER GET MARRIED. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morsefull Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 To be fair I'm very happily married and my wife's gently pissing herself laughing as she reads this over my shoulder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morsefull Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 [quote name='toneknob' timestamp='1403556681' post='2483946'] Still, plenty of hog roast to around? [/quote] We did ask, but the reply was "No food for the band yet, sorry mate" I knicked some crackling though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dad3353 Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 [quote name='morsefull' timestamp='1403558458' post='2483995']...I knicked some crackling though [/quote] Ah..! So the day wasn't [i]completely [/i]ruined, then..? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toneknob Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 [quote name='morsefull' timestamp='1403558458' post='2483995'] We did ask, but the reply was "No food for the band yet, sorry mate" I knicked some crackling though [/quote] Winner of "Best SIlver Lining" award 2014 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve-bbb Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 [quote name='morsefull' timestamp='1403554604' post='2483914'] One of the bands I play in was booked for a wedding last Sat. The groom used to live with our guitarist and consequently we were booked "as a favour" for the incredible price of £65 each (5 piece + ipod disco). It was local and we thought hey, we're not out that night so we may as well do it. 2 hrs before setting off we find that the venue has magically moved from 2 miles away to 15 miles... We arrive at a village hall at 6.30 pm as arranged to set up for the evening.The guests look like they've been regulars on the Jeremy Kyle show and I'm starting to get apprehensive. "Oh well" we say "it might be fine", so a quick sound check and we go outside to relax. The groom is throwing up in the car park. The bride has finished projectile vomiting across the dance floor and is being consoled by her mother. We go outside to find the best man, but he's gone home. At 7.30 pm there are 35 ish people left and some are asking "when are the band on". No-one knows where the bride and groom are so I say sod it lets go on . We start playing and the brides mother appears from nowhere screaming JUST F***K OFF HOME !! THEY'RE NOT HERE!! By this time 2 people are dancing like nothings happened and we tell her politely "we're booked to play and we're playing! Her husband appears and turns all the lights on and the few remaining family members start clearing up, so we play 4 songs and finish. We couldn't find anyone to pay us so we didn't get paid! but then again nor did the hog roast supplier or the venue !! The latest is the newly weds have no money whatsoever........ Tossers. The moral of this story...........NEVER TRUST YOUR GUITARIST TO BOOK A GIG FOR HIS "MATE" [/quote] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morsefull Posted June 24, 2014 Author Share Posted June 24, 2014 [quote name='steve-bbb' timestamp='1403595623' post='2484145'] [/quote][quote name='steve-bbb' timestamp='1403595623' post='2484145'] [/quote] I so wish I'd taken some......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve-bbb Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 [quote name='morsefull' timestamp='1403596663' post='2484159'] I so wish I'd taken some......... [/quote] well your guitarer has connections ... and soshal meeja is your friend innit create a post, and the pics will come Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Jack Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 Was there a connection between the hog roast and the projectile vomiting? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve-bbb Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 [quote name='morsefull' timestamp='1403596663' post='2484159'] I so wish I'd taken some......... [/quote] couldn't you just do some screen grabs from my big fat gipsy wedding? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grangur Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 I guess you just need to be thankful you weren't the one with a cooked pig, gas used to cook it and nobody paying a bean for the pleasure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTUK Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 I do think Weddings pay a deposit..it is expected and the norm, IMO. Most gigs of a certain stature will pay one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bassmonkey Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 Not entirely the same but we once played at a pub. Set up and started, people were coming and going but it then started to literally empty and the periods between being busy and quiet got longer, Ended up jus 2 people left. The guy gets up to leave and I jokingly told him he couldn't leave, he replied was just going to the loo. 2 mins later, his missis grabs their coats and runs out ha ha ha......no one left. I asked the barman what he wanted to do and he said just finish if we wanted. Still got the whole fee and was tucked up in bed by 11. Reeeeeesult Those crazy Pontefractians (or whatever they're collectively known as) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UglyDog Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 [quote name='steve-bbb' timestamp='1403599018' post='2484194'] couldn't you just do some screen grabs from my big fat gipsy wedding? [/quote] It sounds more like My Big Fat Vomiting Bride Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassTractor Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 [quote name='hiram.k.hackenbacker' timestamp='1403596909' post='2484164'] Really? I've clearly been doing it wrong all these years then! Either that, or I've just been lucky and have played at all the right kinds of weddings! I think we would have lost a fair few gigs over the years by demanding prepayment. [/quote] OK, I guess that you've rather been doing everything right. Still, I stick with the notion I may have worded slightly exagerated. BTW it's a notion I don't have as a wedding band player but as a paid church organ player and photographer. As an organ player, I'd too often hear the "we're soooo sorry, but everything got sooo much more expensive..."', and as a photographer I was taught to only deliver test prints before payment, as happy couples too often suddenly become poor after delivery of the official prints. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 Sorry to the op. This did Make me laugh tho '. Shame it wasn't filmed , as you would have made money on the vomiting alone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morsefull Posted June 24, 2014 Author Share Posted June 24, 2014 Apparently, said Bride and groom stopped off at the local pub postnuptial, for a "quick one or nine". Then staggered to the reception. Guitarist has gone strangely quiet about the whole thing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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