chrismuzz Posted September 15, 2014 Author Share Posted September 15, 2014 I gave my three months notice yesterday. Out of the four others members in the band, two of them respond to me, and said they had seen it coming for a while. To be fair, they also said that they are crushed by the news and that I will be irreplaceable. I feel like I've had a weight lifted off my shoulders, and will probably enjoy the rest of the gigs this year more than any in a long time Obviously, they are now looking for a suitable replacement, so if anybody is interested in joining THE best metal covers band in the UK, with almost weekly gigs, follow the link to the Facebook page in my signature and send them a message. Cheers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lojo Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 Well done, its meant to be fun so your right to get out if that is not how it is for you anymore, but you are also right to give them notice and help hand over to a replacement. Happy future to you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismuzz Posted September 22, 2014 Author Share Posted September 22, 2014 And it has stepped up a notch! The singer's bit of skirt has sent my girlfriend an incredible amount of abuse over the internet (stuff I can't even repeat), so she feels like she can't even attend my last 7 gigs with the band in case a fight breaks out. Well this is going to make the rest of the year pretty f***ing awkward. Its at the point now where I am considering going back on my promise to see out the next three months... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icastle Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 [quote name='chrismuzz' timestamp='1411345269' post='2558663'] Its at the point now where I am considering going back on my promise to see out the next three months... [/quote] Don't stick yourself in the middle of it. Draw a line under it now and walk away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismuzz Posted September 22, 2014 Author Share Posted September 22, 2014 [quote name='icastle' timestamp='1411345938' post='2558666'] walk away. [/quote] Bloody hell. I know you shoot straight from the hip but that did come as a shock! I've been talking about this at home for the entire day which is what prompted me to post it on here. I want to honour the gigs because I enjoy playing, and I stick to my word, but I can't condone this behaviour. Aside from the events of today, The two girls that follow the band around always create hostility towards any other women who try to dance or enjoy themselves and will eventually destroy the reputation of the band... Which I'm sure this thread will eventually do! I know I'm just venting, so I apologise. But cheers! Any further advice on what to do now would be very helpful Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icastle Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 [quote name='chrismuzz' timestamp='1411346882' post='2558669'] Bloody hell. I know you shoot straight from the hip but that did come as a shock! [/quote] It may seem that way sometimes, but I do think it through first. The way I see it, your girlfriend needs and deserves your support, the other girl will expect the same from her partner. If you stay on then you're placing yourself smack damn in the middle of a row, and for what? You don't want to play the material any more and have something far more interesting coming up in the distance. The sooner you start that journey, the sooner you'll get to where you want to be. [quote name='chrismuzz' timestamp='1411346882' post='2558669'] I want to honour the gigs because I enjoy playing, and I stick to my word, but I can't condone this behaviour. [/quote] You can't change that behaviour though and, as it has obviously escalated, it's going to get progressively worse until you walk away from it. Bear in mind that your association with your girlfriend will place you in the firing line for abuse even if your girlfriend doesn't go to any of the remaining gigs. Why put yourself and your girlfriend through that? [quote name='chrismuzz' timestamp='1411346882' post='2558669'] Aside from the events of today, The two girls that follow the band around always create hostility towards any other women who try to dance or enjoy themselves and will eventually destroy the reputation of the band. [/quote] Once people start behaving like that it's a fatal virus to any performance. If they're good at it, you'll have an ever diminishing audience, repeat bookings become scarcer as a result and the fun factor for the remaining audience is curtailed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigGuyAtTheBack Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Walk away now, lifes too short for this crap! I walked from a classic rock covers band due to an egomanical guitarist and its like a ton weight being lifted from my shoulders. Sounds like you're a talented dude, start a metal band with your gf and steal their gigs!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismuzz Posted September 22, 2014 Author Share Posted September 22, 2014 Ugh, the next gig is on Friday so I will definitely be dropping them in it.. but I genuinely don't want to go. The only saving grace is that since I no longer live or work in Stoke I won't really have to deal with anybody after its done. Wish me luck breaking the news!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
police squad Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Chris, I would tell the band and the singer that his G/F is dishing out abuse over the internet. This is internet bullying. You must tell them now and walk away. The band members who are your friends will understand. Somehow I don't think the singer is your friend. Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismuzz Posted September 22, 2014 Author Share Posted September 22, 2014 [quote name='police squad' timestamp='1411381806' post='2558868'] Somehow I don't think the singer is your friend. [/quote] His only priority is the band. He doesn't have anything else in his life really. I'd be surprised if he didn't break up with his girlfriend if he finds out she's caused my early departure! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weststarx Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 What a shame, It sounds like the time you have spent with the band you've enjoyed and now its getting close to it becoming a sour ending. I would probably do the gig on Friday and then call it a day completely before it escalates more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
police squad Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 [quote name='chrismuzz' timestamp='1411382224' post='2558876'] His only priority is the band. He doesn't have anything else in his life really. I'd be surprised if he didn't break up with his girlfriend if he finds out she's caused my early departure! [/quote] I would still tell them and walk away. You have done nothing wrong here. You said that you would probably enjoy the gigs now you've handed your notice in, (I remember doing the same 5 years ago and I really enjoyed the last few gigs because we were parting as friends) and unfortunately this trouble has happened and will only end up as resentment, agro and all that sh*t. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FuNkShUi Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Id agree with most others on here. Walk away. Especially if its now got to the point where your girlfriend is getting upset. I understand what your saying about honouring your gigs. That shows your character that your willing to persevere with something you dont enjoy, to avoid dropping your old band in it. But when it gets to the point that your girlfriend, who seems to have done nothing but support you, is getting grief..... walk. And tell the singer why. Be truthful about it all. Even if they wont be happy with it, at least they'll know the reasons why Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JapanAxe Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 [quote name='chrismuzz' timestamp='1411346882' post='2558669'] Aside from the events of today, The two [s]girls that follow the band around [/s]stalkers always create hostility towards any other women who try to dance or enjoy themselves and will eventually destroy the reputation of the band... [/quote] Fixed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassTractor Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 (edited) I'd say that you could still do that one gig, but only after clearly and factually having communicated to the rest of the band exactly what the trouble is with the internet bullying and the animosity, and that the band has to take measures so that one final gig becomes a possibility for you - like for example that these girls are kept away. I feel that if you walk away without giving the band this narrow escape, you may feel guilty for a long time, and you may feel they have reasons for any criticism towards you. But: the band must abide by your demands. If not, then walk away - even if it's five minutes before the gig. One has some self respect to take care of, and needs to be able to ook into a mirror at the end of the day. All the best! bert Edit: in writing! Communicate to the band in writing. Just my halfquadrupence. Edited September 22, 2014 by BassTractor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismuzz Posted September 22, 2014 Author Share Posted September 22, 2014 Well I've told them... Kept it brief... They have got somebody waiting in the wings to fill in anyway, but they want to borrow my rig for three months. NOPE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Admiral Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 [quote name='chrismuzz' timestamp='1411386970' post='2558934'] Well I've told them... Kept it brief... They have got somebody waiting in the wings to fill in anyway, but they want to borrow my rig for three months. NOPE! [/quote] FWIW. My thoughts are - My Spidey senses make me suspect that this is being driven by the other girlfriends and one in particular, and they have been pulling strings for some time - not least because they conveniently have another bass player waiting in the wings. The old pillow talk persuasion can be corrosive and the last thing you want is for the singers girlfriend to be poisoning him against you and this to ultimately come between you and your partner. The things to do now are : A) walk immediately, and put together the band with your GF and be significantly more popular than the band you leave. Life's too short for dealing with this kind of sh*t, and given how good you are (born out by independent BC brethren ), you'll never want for a gig. Covers bands are easier to find than special women. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismuzz Posted September 22, 2014 Author Share Posted September 22, 2014 [quote name='The Admiral' timestamp='1411388494' post='2558957'] FWIW. My thoughts are - [/quote] This is exactly what I thought, and I'm so glad that a bunch of you guys on here have seen it too, despite only having the information I've given! I definitely feel like I've made the right decision Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subbeh Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 [quote name='The Admiral' timestamp='1411388494' post='2558957']Life's too short for dealing with this kind of sh*t[/quote] I think that's what it boils down to for me as well, you don't need three months of crap and I'd be surprised if you didn't already feel like you've had a weight lifted from your shoulders. Onwards and upwards! [size=4] [/size] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaxyBassist Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Wow I thought I was conscientious!! Life's too short for that sort of crap - especially the abuse from his gf - wtf has it got to do with her anyway Enjoy the relief of having walked away from it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leschirons Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Tommy Cooper: "Doctor, it hurts when I do that" Doctor: Then don't do it" [size=4] [/size] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismuzz Posted September 22, 2014 Author Share Posted September 22, 2014 (edited) Well the guitar players are showing their true colours now! It's been made clear that they've never seen me as a real friend and don't have any respect for me by what they've just said to me. I'm almost glad I've dropped them in it! Edited September 22, 2014 by chrismuzz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 (edited) You've done the right thing, imho. They put their cards on the table and have shown themselves to be churlish and ridiculous. The situation was totally unacceptable and would be laughable if it wasn't so pathetic. You had little choice. F*uck 'em. Edited September 22, 2014 by discreet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leschirons Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 [quote name='chrismuzz' timestamp='1411386970' post='2558934'] They have got somebody waiting in the wings to fill in anyway, but they want to borrow my rig for three months. [/quote] Now that, is way funnier than my Tommy Cooper joke. [size=4] [/size] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dad3353 Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/dA6MG3g.png[/IMG] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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