Forget the bucket list.

[pfretrock]

This guy was doing it for the wrong reason. And he's got no soul.

From Today's Guardian:

"Forget the bucket list: these are the things you should avoid before you die.

#7
Learn to play an instrument. Learning to play an instrument (usually the guitar) is a bucket list staple. It’s also a heinous act of self-deception, because really what we want is to “learn to look cool while playing a musical instrument”. Even if the bucket lister manages to exercise the discipline, patience and flair needed to truly master an instrument, it’s impossible to adult-educate yourself into the swagger of a Kurt Cobain or Janis Joplin. I discovered this the hard way by having the door closed on me repeatedly, both while practising and “performing”, as part of my ambition to jump the chasm from “guitarist whose music people can tolerate” to “guitarist whose music impresses women”. Save yourself the time and money and go to Stonehenge or something instead. - @adambrereton "

[url="http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/sep/15/forget-the-bucket-list-these-are-the-things-you-should-avoid-before-you-die?CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2"]http://www.theguardi...EMCNEWEML6619I2[/url]

[flyfisher]

The author sounds like a right old misery guts, still it fills some space I suppose.

Besides, you can't give advice to people about not bothering with an experience like, say, going to Las Vegas because going there and then realising that once is enough is actually all part of the experience. if things weren't like that then we'd just do the same thing over and over again wouldn't we? Surely the point is to experience as many different things as we can . . . the actual ones we choose are probably less important.

As for Stonehenge, I have immensely fond memories of family summer holidays in the 60s, leaving London at the crack of dawn for the drive down to the West Country and stopping off at Stonehenge for a breakfast and rest break. In those days there was nothing there except the stones and breakfast was foil-wrapped sandwiches and coffee from a flask that mum had made before we left, which we would eat while sitting on the unfenced stones before running around and climbing all over them after our early morning refuelling. Happy days, but now no longer possible in the wake of queuing, fences, admission fees, visitor centres and cappucino's from gurgly machines

[bassace]

My enjoyment from playing an instrument has come from a whole lifetime of gigs and the companionship of fellow musicians. So I suppose learning to play in one's twilight years may not be wholly satisfactory. But, whatever floats your boat. And I'm sorry, but Stonehenge leaves me completely cold. I've driven past it a few times but never visited and don't want to. But if it evokes happy memories of family outings in times gone by, well that's beyond price.
The Guardian guy seems a bit of an arse.

[BassBus]

His mistake was trying the guitar. He should have tried the bass. After all it is easier to play and you only play one note at a time.

[flyfisher]

[quote name='bassace' timestamp='1410863267' post='2553923']
And I'm sorry, but Stonehenge leaves me completely cold. I've driven past it a few times but never visited and don't want to. But if it evokes happy memories of family outings in times gone by, well that's beyond price.
[/quote]

Yep, which is why you can't really recommend/not recommend stuff for other people's bucket lists. Mind you, I wouldn't bother with Stonehenge these days either, but that's commercialism for you.

[Lewbass]

The looking cool and impressing the ladies part I've got down to a tee, naturally. Its the playing part that I have trouble with.

Edited September 16, 2014 by Lewbass

[UglyDog]

[quote name='flyfisher' timestamp='1410861418' post='2553892']
As for Stonehenge, I have immensely fond memories of family summer holidays in the 60s, leaving London at the crack of dawn for the drive down to the West Country and stopping off at Stonehenge for a breakfast and rest break. In those days there was nothing there except the stones and breakfast was foil-wrapped sandwiches and coffee from a flask that mum had made before we left, which we would eat while sitting on the unfenced stones before running around and climbing all over them after our early morning refuelling. Happy days, but now no longer possible in the wake of queuing, fences, admission fees, visitor centres and cappucino's from gurgly machines
[/quote]
Oh man, you did that too? It was great, wasn't it? It was the early 70s for me, but the M4 was just a building site and the 'henge was still as open as you remember it. The journey took forever but it felt like more of an adventure because of it. Going to Dawlish felt like travelling halfway round the world.
I know it's a crappy hackneyed old saying, but those really were the days.[i] *massive wistful sigh*[/i]
Sorry, back on topic.

[flyfisher]

yeah, late60s/early 70s for me, and you're right about it seeming like a major expedition. My dad would be fiddling around with the car for the whole week before to make sure it was up to the long arduous trek (Ford Anglia - the ones with those funny angled back windows). I vaguely remember joining the M4 in Chiswick but am pretty sure we usually took the A303 for most of the journey - depends on where we were headed that year I guess. I don't recall ever getting as far as Cornwall, it was usually somewhere in Devon or Somerset - and yes, we did Dawlish one year.

(and now back to our scheduled programme . . . )

[Beer of the Bass]

[quote name='pfretrock' timestamp='1410857271' post='2553819']
This guy was doing it for the wrong reason. And he's got no soul.
[/quote]

I'd agree about the reason being wrong, and I think that's the issue with bucket lists in general. Bucket lists are all about being seen to do these aspirational activities in order to present yourself as a particular sort of person. That's a recipe for self-centred poser-dom if ever I saw one!
I think most of us play music because we can't imagine not playing music, and that's the right reason IMO.

[BassTractor]

[quote name='Lewbass' timestamp='1410865717' post='2553970']
The looking cool and impressing the ladies part I've got down to a tee, naturally. Its the playing part that I have trouble with.
[/quote]

I'm sorry to read this.
You must be very jealous of me then. The playing part I've got down to a tee, naturally. It's the having contact with a person of the opposite... er... gender! that I have trouble with.

[CamdenRob]

I don't think I've ever impressed a woman in my life....

[pfretrock]

[quote name='BassTractor' timestamp='1410870902' post='2554075']
I'm sorry to read this.
You must be very jealous of me then. The playing part I've got down to a tee, naturally. It's the having contact with a person of the opposite... er... gender! that I have trouble with.
[/quote]

Oh man, you missed all those hippie chicks at Stonhenge in the 70s.

[paul_5]

Bucket lists smack of 'competitive living syndrome' - Facebook does the same thing. If you like it or fancy giving it a go then do it. Don't whine about it in a passive/aggressive manner on social media, just DO IT.

Have your own experiences and live your own life.

Here endeth the lesson.

[UglyDog]

Having a bucket list isn't competitive or whiny.
Having a bucket list [i]and[/i] going on & on about it on social meeja is.
I have a list, but it's mine and I'm keeping it for the most part to myself.When I can do the things on it, I do them.

[ras52]

I have a bucket list. Can I borrow a spirit level?

[Earbrass]

[quote name='flyfisher' timestamp='1410861418' post='2553892']
As for Stonehenge, I have immensely fond memories of family summer holidays in the 60s, leaving London at the crack of dawn for the drive down to the West Country and stopping off at Stonehenge for a breakfast and rest break. In those days there was nothing there except the stones and breakfast was foil-wrapped sandwiches and coffee from a flask that mum had made before we left, which we would eat while sitting on the unfenced stones before running around and climbing all over them after our early morning refuelling. Happy days, but now no longer possible in the wake of queuing, fences, admission fees, visitor centres and cappucino's from gurgly machines
[/quote]
[quote name='UglyDog' timestamp='1410865813' post='2553972']
Oh man, you did that too? It was great, wasn't it? It was the early 70s for me, but the M4 was just a building site and the 'henge was still as open as you remember it. The journey took forever but it felt like more of an adventure because of it. Going to Dawlish felt like travelling halfway round the world.
I know it's a crappy hackneyed old saying, but those really were the days.[i] *massive wistful sigh*[/i]
[/quote]
[quote name='flyfisher' timestamp='1410868954' post='2554027']
yeah, late60s/early 70s for me, and you're right about it seeming like a major expedition. My dad would be fiddling around with the car for the whole week before to make sure it was up to the long arduous trek (Ford Anglia - the ones with those funny angled back windows). I vaguely remember joining the M4 in Chiswick but am pretty sure we usually took the A303 for most of the journey - depends on where we were headed that year I guess. I don't recall ever getting as far as Cornwall, it was usually somewhere in Devon or Somerset - and yes, we did Dawlish one year.
[/quote]

Me too - mid to late sixties - getting up in the dark, leaving from Essex just as it was getting light, driving through the City in the pale dawn en route for Cornwall or Devon in the back of a two-tone blue Wolseley 15/60 very much like the one in the pic attached. In those pre-satnav days my parents sent off to the AA for a detailed set of route instructions which came in the post and were then fixed to a piece of hardboard with a large bulldog clip. I would be dozing in the back to the sound of my Mum reading out "after a third of a mile bear left and follow signs to Basingstoke", or somesuch. Always stopped at Stonehenge. Also the site of my first acid trip when I returned to attend the free festival in 1977, but that's another story......

Edited September 17, 2014 by Earbrass

[Lewbass]

[quote name='BassTractor' timestamp='1410870902' post='2554075']
I'm sorry to read this.
You must be very jealous of me then. The playing part I've got down to a tee, naturally. It's the having contact with a person of the opposite... er... gender! that I have trouble with.
[/quote]

Haha.
I think we should share our wisdom.

[Dad3353]

[quote name='pfretrock' timestamp='1410871550' post='2554091']
Oh man, you missed all those hippie chicks at Stonhenge in the 70s.
[/quote]

(... [i]Comes running up, in sandals, hurriedly pulling on a moth-eaten Afghan coat[/i]...)

...Huff..! Puff..! Hippy chicks..? Where..? Oh, they've gone..? Blast..! Too late, yet again...

(... [i]Turns and wanders back, humming old Byrds tunes[/i]...)

[Bilbo]

I remember visiting Stonehenge in the dim and distant. I can only think it was on a school trip because I cannot think of any other way I would have got there! I remember touching the stones so it must have been pre-'clinical isolation'. In fact, I think it was tied in with a trip to the other nearby stone circle at Avebury. School trips were the best in the late 60s/early 70s.

As for a bucket list, I have no ambition to see anything, go anywhere or do anything 'remarkable'. I am fAAAAAAr too busy.

[taunton-hobbit]

Oh good - it's turning into an 'I remember Stonehenge when' thread......
I've got colour slides (remember them?) somewhere of the Henge around the late 50's....no fences, no cafeteria (& no other people).
Went with mum & dad in a 1939 Morris on the way to Cornwall....I remember trying to climb on the stones (cos you could).
Bucket lists are for people who feel insecure about their reality (imo).

[The Admiral]

We lost my brother-in-law to lung cancer last year and whilst he didn't have a bucket list, we were aware of a number of things he'd always wanted to do, and consequently the family all chipped in: zoo keeper for a day, helicopter flight, wind tunnel sky diving etc. but the thing that gave him most joy was being a granddad for the first time. They gave him 6 months and he managed 4.5 years, and saw his granddaughter walk and talk : she still talks about him now. Nothing wrong with having things you want to do, but I'd agree it's the crapping on about it that is slightly distasteful.