blue Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 [quote name='FinnDave' timestamp='1411501745' post='2560209'] That's not being patronising, that is an attempt to connect with you by using polite conversation. [/quote] Maybe it's different in the UK, over here we still have a few that look down on musicians especially rock musicians and will take any opportunity to kick them down. The kicking process may start with what seems like polite conversation but it's really their entry to knocking you down a few notches. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doddy Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 [quote name='blue' timestamp='1411500733' post='2560184'] And I guess terms like enjoying music vs into music are up in the air. The phrase, [i]"I'm into listening to and enjoying music while I'm driving my car" [/i]makes sense. But do they understand or care about what it's like to stand on your feet and play and sing for 4 hours into the early am? I would say very few do and why should they. [/quote] Is it also possible for someone to say that they are in to music because they gig for 4 hours, but it be argued that they aren't that in to music because they don't sit and study advanced harmony and things for 6 hours a day? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 (edited) [quote name='timmo' timestamp='1411502089' post='2560213'] I guess I patronise my wife everyday when she moans about her day at work. I have no idea what she is talking about,but she had been on her feet for longer than 4 hours. I imagine 99% of us would be happy being on our feet for 4 hours doing something we loved.if you aren't happy being on your feet,why do it. Having never been in a band, I would imagine it would be nice to have played to a crowd,and have an appreciative punter wanting to have a quick chat,as long as they aren't being a pain. [/quote] That appreciative punter at a gig is fine and I feel it's part of my job to have that chat and as I said in my original post, I'm surprised and thankful. But the guy at Star Bucks I am not sure about him. Blue Edited September 23, 2014 by blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 [quote name='Doddy' timestamp='1411502355' post='2560218'] Is it also possible for someone to say that they are in to music because they gig for 4 hours, but it be argued that they aren't that in to music because they don't sit and study advanced harmony and things for 6 hours a day? [/quote] Yes, it's possible and good point. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 (edited) Wow! And didn't think this topic would draw any interest. Blue Edited September 23, 2014 by blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xilddx Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 [quote name='blue' timestamp='1411502482' post='2560220'] That appreciative punter at a gig is fine and I feel it's part of my job to have that chat and as I said in my original post, I'm surprised and thankful. But the guy at Star Bucks I am not sure about him. Blue [/quote] You didn't say anything about any of this in your original post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 [quote name='xilddx' timestamp='1411502842' post='2560226'] You didn't say anything about any of this in your original post. [/quote] Really? I should have. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 I have received a PM in respect of my post about 'cultural differences': [quote]Skank, you fathead. I have no idea what you're on about. Give us some examples or cease your drivelling[/quote] No sooner said than done: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FinnDave Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Mr Skankdelver is, I suspect, on the money. Having spent years teaching intercultural communication at a European university, I should have spotted it myself. Interestingly, though, my spell checker always tried to correct 'intercultural communication' to 'inarticulate communication'. The spell checker was smarter than I had realised! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xilddx Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 [quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1411503537' post='2560239'] I have received a PM in respect of my post about 'cultural differences': No sooner said than done: [/quote] The first one is to a drummer though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xilddx Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 [quote name='blue' timestamp='1411503075' post='2560229'] Really? I should have. Blue [/quote] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 [quote name='FinnDave' timestamp='1411503731' post='2560242'] Having spent years teaching intercultural communication at a European university, I should have spotted it myself. [/quote] Intercultural communications, eh? How interesting ([i]glances at watch, jingles coins in pocket[/i]). Now that was just a dramatised example but my meaning is clear: We English are basically a bit odd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FinnDave Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 [quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1411504933' post='2560260'] We English are basically a bit odd. [/quote] Only to the non-English. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timmo Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 [quote name='blue' timestamp='1411502482' post='2560220'] That appreciative punter at a gig is fine and I feel it's part of my job to have that chat and as I said in my original post, I'm surprised and thankful. But the guy at Star Bucks I am not sure about him. Blue [/quote]I have to admit that i have never been approached by a random person in Starbucks asking me anything on any subject. I guess that could be annoying if they approach you , while not really interested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 [quote name='timmo' timestamp='1411506939' post='2560279'] I have to admit that i have never been approached by a random person in Starbucks asking me anything on any subject. I guess that could be annoying if they approach you , while not really interested. [/quote] I think it's more the sort of dialogue that goes along the lines of: " 'Hi, how are you, today?' ... 'I'd like a Frappacino please?' ... 'Looking [i]good[/i]! Are you having a [i]great[/i] day?'... 'Tolerably so; just been to a funeral' ... 'Brilliant! Was there a good turn-out? And do you want chocolate on that?' ... 'Well, yes. I mean - yes, there was a good turn-out and no, I don't want chocolate.' ... 'Amazing! Here's your Latte!' ... 'I asked for a Frappacino' ... 'Ha ha! I'm [i]sure[/i] you said a latte. Ha ha ha! Why don't you have a Latte anyway? OUCH! WHAT THE ...? SECURITY!!!' " That sort of thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timmo Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 Ahh,now put like that, I can picture the scenario. Starbucks must be a lot friendlier the otherside of the pond. The staff in the ones I have been in tend to be too busy to talk to me. I suppose I am not the most attractive or interesting person to waste ones time on though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
molan Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 One thing I've noticed is how many people in bands aren't particularly musical anoraks. A lot of them 'like what they like' and aren't open to new ideas or looking beyond a very fixed and often quite limited musical genre. By definition this might mean that they aren't 'into' music per the OP even though they are competent musically and out playing public gigs Also - listening to music in the car is one of my favourite pastimes and really helps to expand my musical tastes. I put all my new music here and try things out I might not have time for at home. It's especially good travelling to and from gigs & rehearsals (minimum about 45 mins drive - equivalent to an old-fashioned album). I have a 160GB iPod wired into the car with a decent sound system that even has sub-woofers inside the seats. Adds a whole new definition to 'bowel trembling bass'. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted September 23, 2014 Author Share Posted September 23, 2014 [quote name='molan' timestamp='1411511501' post='2560340'] One thing I've noticed is how many people in bands aren't particularly musical anoraks. A lot of them 'like what they like' and aren't open to new ideas or looking beyond a very fixed and often quite limited musical genre.[/quote] And a lot of us are full of ourselves. At the end of the day this whole bass player in a gigging rock band is work. Just like a carpenter or a plumber, moving one thing from here to there and only a limited amount of time to do it in. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mingsta Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 To be honest, I don't really see what the gripe is about. People with some modicum of social skills will generally try to find some common ground ('Im in to music too!') or show an interest in what you do, even if its not particularly genuine. Its still preferable to someone who just bangs on about themselves for 4 hours. ...so forgive people for their small foibles and for not fully appreciating your world. They've got their own lives to be getting on with. And also think of it the other way round...would you be wildly interested if a passing acquaintance mentioned, for example, that they had a young family? How much genuine interest would you show, or would you move swiftly on to more interesting topics? Those kids might be the center of their universe... Just consider yourself lucky that you can immerse yourself in your music on a daily basis, that's reward in itself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted September 24, 2014 Author Share Posted September 24, 2014 [quote name='mingsta' timestamp='1411550396' post='2560510'] To be honest, I don't really see what the gripe is about. Those kids might be the center of their universe...[/quote] My thought exactly, so why would this person continually ask for dates and venues for the past 3 years. You would think she would catch on that I know she can't go or do much of anything with several young children. I guess she's just making conversation. I won't call her out on it. I'll stick to the; [i]"Oh yeah, were playing at Moe's Irish Pup Saturday night from 9-1a."[/i] Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 [quote name='blue' timestamp='1411586996' post='2561001'] My thought exactly, so why would this person continually ask for dates and venues for the past 3 years. [/quote] Ah ha! The more we hear, the more we learn. I can see how that might grate. [quote name='blue' timestamp='1411586996' post='2561001'] I won't call her out on it. I'll stick to the; [i]"Oh yeah, were playing at Moe's Irish Pup Saturday night from 9-1a."[/i] [/quote] Next time you might try: [i]"Oh yeah, were playing at Moe's Irish Pup Saturday night. I'll swing by and pick you up about 7:30. Our drummer's single and he really wants to meet you".[/i] That should force the issue - one way or the other Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted September 24, 2014 Author Share Posted September 24, 2014 [quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1411588146' post='2561011'] Ah ha! The more we hear, the more we learn. I can see how that might grate. Next time you might try: [i]"Oh yeah, were playing at Moe's Irish Pup Saturday night. I'll swing by and pick you up about 7:30. Our drummer's single and he really wants to meet you".[/i] That should force the issue - one way or the other [/quote] If she wasn't married, that wouldn't be a bad idea. blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHW Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 It's a difficult thing to respond when anyone says I'm into "x, y or z." You have no idea just how into that thing they might be? even if its the same thing as you, you cannot really guarantee a great meeting of minds. I am into tennis- meaning I play twice a week, watch Wimbledon avidly, play in the 6th division of the Cheshire League, have been to Wimbledon a few times. I also cannot tell you the names of most of the players, follow no-one particularly, don't know much about racket technology, but do own a stringer. Someone who listens to car radio may be seriously into music in the sense that it may well be very important to them- a 40 minute escape twice a day, cocooned away from everyone and chance to work up to a stressed day at work and conversely chance to unwind afterwards. However, it may mean they like to hum along to a few tunes now and then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted September 24, 2014 Author Share Posted September 24, 2014 [quote name='CHW' timestamp='1411595763' post='2561120'] It's a difficult thing to respond when anyone says I'm into "x, y or z." You have no idea just how into that thing they might be? even if its the same thing as you, you cannot really guarantee a great meeting of minds. [/quote] True, how about this one for example; [i]"Your in a band, what's the name of your band? I really love live music."[/i] Really, cool, what was the last band you saw? [i]" I saw Billy Joel at The Bradley Center about 15 years ago."[/i] In this case, they're into live music to the degree of seeing a live act at least once every 15 years. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHW Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 [quote name='blue' timestamp='1411596545' post='2561142'] True, how about this one for example; [i]"Your in a band, what's the name of your band? I really love live music."[/i] Really, cool, what was the last band you saw? [i]" I saw Billy Joel at The Bradley Center about 15 years ago."[/i] In this case, they're into live music to the degree of seeing a live act at least once every 15 years. Blue [/quote] Again though- you cannot judge. From that info they could well have been massively committed to going to see live bands for the first 25 years of life, then families intervene and all of a sudden you are looking after 3 kids. It doesn't mean that you love live music any less than you did 15 years ago, you are now 40 with wistful memories of your gig going past? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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