blue Posted October 24, 2014 Author Share Posted October 24, 2014 [quote name='Damonjames' timestamp='1414181115' post='2586916'] I like to think that even if I was a full time musician, I would be friends with others in the band, it's in my nature to be that way. I just can't justify spending the time with people I can't stand or have no interest in, but that's me. Maybe if I was getting paid a shed load...[/quote] There you go, key phrase; [i]"Maybe if I was getting paid a shed load"[/i] As I alluded earlier, it's always a little different when the dough is decent. I doubt if Daryl Jones cares about how he gets along with the others. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted October 24, 2014 Author Share Posted October 24, 2014 (edited) [quote name='Lord Sausage' timestamp='1414140447' post='2586246'] The singer is an ex girlfriend from about 15 yrs ago and my wife's best friend.[/quote] Going out with a female in a band is trouble and has never been worth it. Hmmm maybe it was. Blue Edited October 24, 2014 by blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 [quote name='interpol52' timestamp='1414182067' post='2586938'] That's the most pretentious thing I have ever written by the way. [/quote] Nicely done! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Japhet Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 I've found that some of the most talented musicians are also some of the biggest pricks I've ever been associated with. However, my current band has a bunch of guys ranging from pretty good to bloody fantastic and we all get along really well. Everybody pitches in with setting up and carting the gear and we don't have any prima donnas which is crucial. I play for the fun of it - always have, and I feel very privileged to be in with a bunch f good blokes who enjoy what we do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Mixture really. You don't have to be friends with everyone but you do need to get along together. One guy turns up does his thing and disappears after. He's difficult to chat to. The other two are easy to get along with and genuinely really nice guys. It's easy to be friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozz196 Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 Yes friends with both band mates, especially so with the singer/guitarist who I`ve been in bands with for 6 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
basexperience Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 A fascinating topic... If your band are your friends, and you write original music, it'll benefit. If it's a covers band and you're all a bit more workmanlike about it, it'll benefit. I suspect the spectrum in between is a myriad of compromises. Any thoughts on that one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahpook Posted October 24, 2014 Share Posted October 24, 2014 (edited) [quote name='TimR' timestamp='1414188057' post='2587026'] Mixture really. You don't have to be friends with everyone but you do need to get along together. [/quote] That's pretty much the way I am. You need to be able to spend time with them and communicate, but you don't have to be inviting them round for Findus Crispy Pancakes every Friday When i was younger I was very much into hanging out with my bandmates, these days it's not so important. Edited October 24, 2014 by ahpook Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 [quote name='ahpook' timestamp='1414189212' post='2587046'] When i was younger I was very much into hanging out with my bandmates, these days it's not so important. [/quote] Exactly at my age it's more of a business. I started gigging and playing at a very young age, I was 12. I have many years under my belt of being in bands with a close hang. Now, not important. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vinny Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 I'm friends with my band, but I don't talk to my member. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 (edited) [quote name='basexperience' timestamp='1414189160' post='2587044'] A fascinating topic... If your band are your friends, and you write original music, it'll benefit. If it's a covers band and you're all a bit more workmanlike about it, it'll benefit. I suspect the spectrum in between is a myriad of compromises. Any thoughts on that one? [/quote] Some people are just very hard to be friendly with, especially if the only thing you have in common is the music. Finding common ground is always good. Might be why one of our guys is difficult to get on with. He's single. The rest of us are married with kids. We see the world quite a bit differently to the way he does. We have different priorities. I suppose you could construct a band from only certain types. That may work, it may be counterproductive. Look at Queen. All the guys were different. I suspect they partied together on tour but I wonder if they went round each other's houses for tea. Edited October 25, 2014 by TimR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahpook Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 [quote name='blue' timestamp='1414213666' post='2587124'] Exactly at my age it's more of a business. I started gigging and playing at a very young age, I was 12. I have many years under my belt of being in bands with a close hang. Now, not important. Blue [/quote] Mine certainly isn't a business...I doubt we'll ever turn a profit ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashell Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 I'm slightly disappointed that I don't hang out withy band mates more. When I joined the band I think I assumed it would improve my social life a bit. I have done a lot of amateur theatre and always made friends with and socialised with fellow actors. So I was a bit disappointed things didn't work out that way with the band. I can never persuade them to go for a drink after rehearsals even though there is actually a bar at the studio where we rehearse. I don't think its an age thing, even though I am about 20 yes older than the rest of them! Just personalities I guess. They are all nice people, just not that into socialising. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BILL POSTERS Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 It gets a bit weird when your older if you join a band thats been going for years. All the other members have known each other since they were young.and you c[size=4]ant help but feel sort of on the outside of everything.[/size] [size=4]Its happened to me a few times now.[/size] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahpook Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 [quote name='BILL POSTERS' timestamp='1414270832' post='2587832'] It gets a bit weird when your older if you join a band thats been going for years. All the other members have known each other since they were young.and you c[size=4]ant help but feel sort of on the outside of everything.[/size] [size=4]Its happened to me a few times now.[/size] [/quote] Yes, me too. It can be a bit intimidating sometimes, can't it I try to concentrate on being a good bass player and letting it go from there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pinball Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 [quote name='EBS_freak' timestamp='1414128542' post='2586125'] My best advice I have for anybody is this - Most musicians are self serving ass hats. Beware who you befriend. [/quote] Sounds like a reflection of the humanity in general Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 [quote name='ahpook' timestamp='1414243706' post='2587429'] Mine certainly isn't a business...I doubt we'll ever turn a profit ! [/quote] Some bands are not positioned to make money for a lot of different reasons. The one I hate to hear about is when a band is based in a small market area and there is no place or very few places to gig. Everyone can't just get up and move. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 [quote name='seashell' timestamp='1414264693' post='2587766']I can never persuade them to go for a drink after rehearsals even though there is actually a bar at the studio where we rehearse.[/quote] Do you rehearse at The BBC in Milwaukee. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 [quote name='BILL POSTERS' timestamp='1414270832' post='2587832'] It gets a bit weird when your older if you join a band thats been going for years. All the other members have known each other since they were young.and you c[size=4]ant help but feel sort of on the outside of everything.[/size] [size=4]Its happened to me a few times now.[/size] [/quote] It's always interesting trying to work out the personality dynamics in a band you join. Who started the band? Who's played together before? Who joined before you and is still finding their feet? What bass players have they had in the past? Which member joined after being auditioned but is on borrowed time? Therefore some members might be lifelong friends while others have only been playing together after replying to an advert. The older you get the more complex the band history becomes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leschirons Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 Not really sure that I understand what the OP is looking for. In any of the bands I've been in or currently play in, we are all band "mates" meaning, we play together. Some are just "mates" and some are also friends but surely this applies to every situation in life be it work, bands, being in a Sunday football team, having neighbours etc. I wouldn't be in a band or spend time with anyone I hated anyway, in any situation, so all people I know are either acquaintances, or friends. At times we fall out, whether they be friends, or "mates" If I find the other members of the band are easy to play with and communicate with, the music works and the band works. Makes no difference whether we only ever meet at gigs and rehearsals or spend a lot of time socializing together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashell Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 [quote name='blue' timestamp='1414272643' post='2587860'] Do you rehearse at The BBC in Milwaukee. Blue [/quote] Lol, we couldn't afford the air fare :-) No we use Madhouse Rehearsals in Birmingham UK. I'd recommend them to anyone in the area. Not too expensive, clean, friendly and easy to park outside. And a bar too! Which we rarely use :-( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neepheid Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 I am friends with the rest of the guys in my band. We've had meals together, been to the pub together and seem to have plenty to talk about when we're having a tea break at rehearsal. I find it most agreeable to get along with the people you make music with. No airs and graces, and no-one takes the hump if someone doesn't like what we're doing to their song idea I don't want to be in a band where people don't get along. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted October 26, 2014 Author Share Posted October 26, 2014 (edited) You know, tonight proves were not friends. The band has been together for 9 years.I have been with them for 3 and we have a new drummer. Tonight I noticed that we did not even speak or interact with each other until we started our first set at 9:00. It was a 9:00 till 1:00 with two 15 minute breaks. I guess those hours are unheard of for UK bar bands. Blue Edited October 26, 2014 by blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted October 26, 2014 Author Share Posted October 26, 2014 [quote name='leschirons' timestamp='1414272865' post='2587863'] Not really sure that I understand what the OP is looking for. In any of the bands I've been in or currently play in, we are all band "mates" meaning, we play together. Some are just "mates" and some are also friends but surely this applies to every situation in life be it work, bands, being in a Sunday football team, having neighbours etc. I wouldn't be in a band or spend time with anyone I hated anyway, in any situation, so all people I know are either acquaintances, or friends. At times we fall out, whether they be friends, or "mates" If I find the other members of the band are easy to play with and communicate with, the music works and the band works. Makes no difference whether we only ever meet at gigs and rehearsals or spend a lot of time socializing together. [/quote] I agree. That's exactly what I'm looking for. Your insight. Thanks blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTUK Posted October 26, 2014 Share Posted October 26, 2014 [quote name='BILL POSTERS' timestamp='1414270832' post='2587832'] It gets a bit weird when your older if you join a band thats been going for years. All the other members have known each other since they were young.and you c[size=4]ant help but feel sort of on the outside of everything.[/size] [size=4]Its happened to me a few times now.[/size] [/quote] That wouldn't bother me... I like a drink but I like to drink with people I like.. and that is not what I look for in band mates. I just have to get on with them at a certain level. If I like a few wll enough then that is better, but I don't need to see them all the time. The music is the common thing and if that works, everything else slots in... It is always when the music goes wrong that the band goes wrong, IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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