what's the worst thing that's happened to you onstage?

[KevB]

That reminds me of a gig I did years ago for a lad's 18th birthday party. The stage was small so we had to put the mic stands at floor (punter) level and extend them up as far as they'd go so they weren't ultra stable to begin with. Then we did some song or other which seemed to go down particularly well and I was singing lead as well as playing bass. There was a lot of moshing going on at the front and the next thing I was having to pan my head back and forth to follow the mic as it was weaving from side to side from the milling throng below. In the end our other (female) singer came over and held the stand firmly in place so I could get through it. Meanwhile a load of kids had turned up from a neighbouring village and were causing some sort of riot outside the pub. The police were called and basically told the landlord to lock everyone in until they could disperse the rabble outside. Heady days.

[Truckstop]

Once played a shithole in Ruislip. As if that weren't bad enough, halfway through the second set some bloke that'd been pestering the punters and the staff all night ran onto the stage and started strangling the singer. Our Terry used to run a betting shop in Luton so handled himself quite well.

Truckstop

Nb. Needless to say, we didn't miss a beat.

Edited October 27, 2014 by Truckstop

[Muzz]

Oh Lord, there's plenty, here's a quick selection of the ones I still wince at:

1. Playing Jillys nightclub in Manchester in the 80s (on a three foot high prefab stage) I jumped unwisely under a beam, cracked me head, bit the tip of me tongue off and as I landed I pushed two of the stage sections apart, so spent the remainder of the song bleeding profusely a la Gene Simmons on the cover of Kiss Alive II in an increasingly dynamic and wide-legged stance as I attempted to keep the parting stage together...
2. Snapped a string (again, back in the 80s, haven't done it since) and attempted to pull it off out of the way. Nearly took the top of me finger off, again, claret everywhere...
3. Blanked totally for the intro of a song we were covering. The band started, I didn't. The band stopped, the guitarist shouts the name of the song at me, I stare at him blankly. The band starts again, I still didn't. The guitarist walks over, plays the intro riff at me. I stare at him blankly. He plays it again, and then, like a dam breaking, it all comes back. We all start again, I'm in the wrong key...
4. Walked over to the drummer mid (guitar)-solo, knocked the overhead mic stand over, it topples slowly towards him, until it hits him square on the forehead. There's a huge BOOM, but like a trooper, he keeps playing. His forehead is now very closely mic'd and making some very strange noises. Still frantically playing behind the obliviously-thrashing guitarist, I try and right the mic stand with a foot. The stand is now mic'ing the drummer's shoulder. Eventually one of the audience takes pity, gets on stage and rights the mic stand. He gets a huge and ironic ovation, which the guitarist, delighted, thinks is for him...

[CHW]

I played electric guitar for 10 years with a ceilidh band- this is the worst for me

During the caller's explanation of a dance, my guitar dropped off of it's strap and nose dived into the floor- it resulted in a chunk out of the headstock, and a big chip on the lacquer on the body, but more embarrassing at the time was the loud clanging of all of the open strings which brought the entire room (70 people dancing, another 30 sitting out, bar staff and the rest of the band to turn and stare directly at me) I wanted the floor to swallow me up.

[razze06]

I have remembered an absolute classic for me. I didn't have any particular personal mishap, yet bear with me.

Italy. Early 90's, me and my mates had a very enthusiastic covers band, doing a selection of early and obvious punk stuff (ramones, sex pistols, clash, etc) and loud classic rock covers. This is my final year of high school, aged 17. I still own the bass I played then.

We get a gig at some kind of afternoon event in a disused cinema in the next town over, we are on last on the bill. Later we discovered it was organised by the local church group.

Egged on by the object of his lust, two of my bandmates (guitarist and keys/singer) and two of our pals in the audience decide that it would be an awesome idea to get almost-punk hairdos and catwoman-style makeup, drop some acid, and go on stage,which they proceeded to do. The drummer and myself are blissfully oblivious to all of this, the drummer being engrossed in exploring the old and battered van that we borrowed, and that he was driving having JUST obtained his learner's driving license.

As the time to go on stage approaches, we realises that the gig isn't some kind of rock concert, but rather a succession of bands and individuals doing mellow renditions of well known local classic ballads. With an audience to match. No booze available, other than what the two pals of ours in the audience brought with them (Jack Daniels, what else?).

We go on, start with the usual energy and enthusiasm, making the bewildered audience slowly retreat towards the back wall.

Soon, things began to go south.

The singer keys/player disappears for a while mid song, just as the guitarist begins to stagger aimlessly around the stage. We were playing EMI - sex pistols. The guitarist falls over himself, thankfully unplugging his guitar from the amp. The drummer and I are left alone playing EMI, while our two pals are pogo dancing excitedly in the middle of an empty room, watched in horror by the rapidly disappearing audience.

After understanding that the singer had to escape the stage as he was seeing huge black spiders coming down from the ceiling, and the guitarist was simply unsure of how to play the guitar anymore, we decided to play another couple of songs (what else), and to end the show.

I packed my stuff, and left. Later I discovered the following:

- One of my tripping and heavily drunk pals in the audience tried to fight a priest (this was a church thing after all). Claimed as he was to be the antichrist, that was the natural thing to do.
- The other tripping and not-quite-so-drunk friend tried to stop him, only to be "escorted out" in a rather unsympathetic way by the said priest.
- The singer went missing for quite a while. Spiders may have been involved.
- The tripping guitarist and two feisty pals of ours were loaded up on the back of the van. The antichrist passed out and proceeded to vomit over all the kit and passenger. The van has no windows, and it was a 20 minutes drive to our hometown
- The sober drummer was rapidly descending in blind panic at the thought that the police may stop him on his way back, and he might lose his beloved temporary license. He didn't.
- The antichrist went further downhill, and was so poorly that had to be taken to hospital. The hospital staff come out to assist, and rush towards the guitarist, thinking that the is the sick one. He was, but not the sicketst of the lot.
- The antichrist was half an hour from death by alcohol poisioning. He recovered, but didn't lose his streak...
- We were never invited back to play the same venue again

[Number6]

Not my band but we played a gig the other night and one of the bands set up on stage said "We have no drummer tonight he's been sectioned and the bass player just refused to play" 😯

They still played a good set though 😊

[MiltyG565]

[quote name='Ticktock' timestamp='1414139027' post='2586220']
When I played drums. Just finished "NeatNeatNeat" by the Damned and the singer announced that the next song would be "NeatNeatNeat" by the Damned. I said to the bass player that I had just played that song (I looked a bit confused). He laughed so hard that we couldn't start the next song until he had calmed down..
To this day I still don't know what song they played as I drummed. Hall like a tunnel, I could only hear a muffled roar.
[/quote]

I would have fallen over laughing!

First gig I ever did was a school thing. We were supposed to play 2 songs, and the first song went really well (especially considering the circumstances), and I was settling in well, but then right as we were about to start our second song, there was a problem somewhere between our singer's acoustic guitar and the mixer. After a few minutes of faffing about, somebody basically told us to get off the stage because we were starting to hold things up. That really annoyed me.

[MiltyG565]

At least none of us are these guys

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIeNM5t8_jI

[Owen]

I forgot to put my feet down after this

[URL=http://s8.photobucket.com/user/peredur/media/Neidio.jpg.html][IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a49/peredur/Neidio.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

For added comedy value look at the apathy on the faces of the audience.

[dmccombe7]

Doing Floyd song "Run Like Hell" as an intro into "Time" where we had halogen floods behind the band to give a silhouette effect when they came on they cut the full backline on stage and subsequent lack of sound. As i was the only electrician in the house i had to fix myself and restart show. Look back as an entertaining fun moment

Dave

[redbandit599]

Turned round to speak to drummer mid-song.

Noticed his knackers hanging out from the leg of his shorts.

Sorry, can't write anymore the memory is still too raw

[Adrenochrome]

Just the usual for someone who's been gigging a few years:

Electrocution.
Amps of all kind blowing up.
Fire.
Extreme drunkeness.
Tripping over wires and going flying.
Cut hand bleeding everywhere.
Extreme wind on a very enclosed stage area (food poisoning).

...just the usual stuff

[TimR]

[quote name='Adrenochrome' timestamp='1414493532' post='2589727']
Just the usual for someone who's been gigging a few years:

Electrocution.
Amps of all kind blowing up.
Fire.
Extreme drunkeness.
Tripping over wires and going flying.
Cut hand bleeding everywhere.
Extreme wind on a very enclosed stage area (food poisoning).

...just the usual stuff
[/quote]

Yes. It's quite difficult to chose the worst thing.

[mep]

Years ago a band i was in played a wedding. We agreed to bring a CD player and plug it into the PA to play the couples first dance song as there was no DJ. Somehow I accidently played the wrong track.

[Norris]

Here's another one. Back in the late 80s we went out as a trio. The guitarist and I turned up to the gig and started setting the kit up. After half an hour or so there is still no sign of the drummer. So we called his house - no reply (these were the days before mobile phones). We continued setting up and phoning. I can't remember fully what happened but somehow we got half of the drum kit to the venue but still no drummer! We ended up playing the first spot as a duo whilst bashing whatever bits of drums we could. Meanwhile the landlord despatched a horde of regulars to the drummers house. He was fast asleep following a heavy lunchtime session! They eventually dragged him down to the gig in time to do the second spot

[FuNkShUi]

[quote name='Muzz' timestamp='1414418014' post='2589064']
His forehead is now very closely mic'd and making some very strange noises. Still frantically playing behind the obliviously-thrashing guitarist, I try and right the mic stand with a foot. The stand is now mic'ing the drummer's shoulder.[/quote]

Hahaha that made me laugh.
Best and worst thing thats happened to me - We were 16 or 17 in a punk/rock/pop kind of band.
First gig and we were getting hyped up to really go for it.
Drummer clicks us in, and we start, overly enthusiastic, running and jumping anywhere there is space.
Before the four bar intro ends, we somehow manage to blow a fuse and everything goes dead apart from the drums.
Still dont know what happened.
Highly embarrassing at the time. But later we kind of got known for being the band that played so hard we blew the fuses!
Even though thats utter tosh, it still makes me smile.
Incidentally, Bullet for my valentine, before they were called bullet for my valentine were headlining that gig.
I think if we hadnt blown the fuses we would be multi millionaires like they are now

Edited October 28, 2014 by FuNkShUi

[BassApprentice]

Was playing a gig at a University union when I was about 16, and I had a shiny new wireless kit allowing me to roam around the stage.

I got a bit over confident and decided to jump off the stage to join the crowd. At this point the receiver fell out of my bass, hit the floor sending the battery flying and cutting my bass out mid song....

[iamtheelvy]

Worst (though possibly best, depending on your viewpoint...) moment on stage was drawing a complete blank after the song intro. Just had no idea what I was supposed to play or what key we were in or anything at all... This was back in college and the whole band were being assessed on this piece, so I completely blagged it, and somehow got a reasonable mark!

Going to see the singer for the first time in 13 years this weekend. Wondering now if she ever noticed...

[uke]

Playing The Dial Inn Glasgow, in the mid Eighties, so yellow cap sleeve tshirt and white jeans, into the first song, "Maneater"
After the first chorus the guitarist asks me why I'm not singing b/v's, and why haven't I moved from my amp?
I reply " A little fart I had at the start wasn't exactly dry!"
Didn't move for 40 mins, then edged all the way to the dressing room!

[Charla]

Did a Dep for a Band back in the 90's at a local Fair Day. Finished our set and deposited my Wal bass on my guitar stand. While I was getting my case the bassist from the next band tried to move my amp and up turned the Wal face down into the stage. Managed to be gracious, although on later inspection the lacquer had cracked on the back of the headstock and my bridge pickup stopped working. Whilst on Holiday I visited Wal in High Wickham, they repaired my bass the same day and did a set up and restring ........... all for £60. Legends.

[Bassmonkey]

Mid 80s playing in a boozer in Halifax - we came to a percussion break in the song and I enthusiastically let go my bass and clapped above my head trying to get an audience participation thing going. Cue the strap coming off and an almighty BOOOIIIIIIIINNNGGGGG as my bass hit the floor. (remember, this was the 80s. The bass was up around my chin). Audience pee'd themselves laughing. I kinda tried to laugh along while edging off to escape the embarrassment. Not good

[ern500evo]

Did a gig in Weston Super Mare on a friday night on August bank holiday weekend years ago,which is also my birthday. We'd all taken the day off so headed down early to allow for traffic. So we end up in Weston, hot sunny day, bank holiday weekend, my birthday and with about 5 hours to kill. Oh go on then we'll just have one or two, but about 5pm approx 15 of our mates arrive who know it's my birthday, fast forward to 8pm and I am absolutely cattled, they kept buying something called Mad Dog. I can barely stand by the time we start, end up playing the whole gig(badly) with the backs of my legs pressed against the 2 kick drums for a bit of stability, much to the amusement of our friends. Dropped my bass twice, trying to put it on. Finish gig, get chucked in van, journey back to bristol with 5 other people in the back of a transit all smoking weed which just about finishes me off! Get to my street, tell them "just drop me on the corner". Next thing I know, it's 7am, I'm face down in my front garden with my legs stuck in the hedges and my girlfriend stood over me, laughing, saying "I'm going to work, try not to be sick in the bedroom"! Oh to be 20 again!

[odysseus]

Some old biddy came up and cupped my balls down at some social club in Penzance. And her husband was at the bar 20 feet away.... I felt dirty... and not in a good way....

[Muzz]

[quote name='odysseus' timestamp='1414514599' post='2590102']
Some old biddy came up and cupped my balls down at some social club in Penzance. And her husband was at the bar 20 feet away.... I felt dirty... and not in a good way....
[/quote]

This...this is why basses should be worn lower. that Mark King bloke runs this risk every time he gets on stage...

[Smythe]

Recently played a Rotarian charity festival, with many bands on during the day. I was playing in two bands who were on very late in the evening, 3rd and 2nd from the end. I thought it'd be wise to drink a big bottle of gin (with tonic) before I went on... I played pretty awful during my first set and my second set with the other band was worse. Although I can only vaguely remember it, apparently someone I know in the crowd had shouted to me, "get your balls out", seen as though I was wearing shorts I gladly obliged from the bottom of them (or so I'm told!) with being so inebriated, I had no realisation I was playing in front of a family crowd of around 400+ people.... It's safe to say I can't see my bands being booked next yr...