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The Alternative Rock Factfile. It's Back for a Christmas Edition!


yorks5stringer
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Leather clad rocking Bassist, Suzi Quattro has been awarded an unexpected accolade this week. Forget Jamie Oliver and Hugh Whitting-Fearnlystall, Suzi has been credited with changing Britain's eating habits following her single "Can The Can". In the song she urged teenagers to can the can and eat fresh, frozen or Sous Vide foods. Chain -smoking Nigel Farage awarded her "Britain's Best Dietary Educator" at an award ceremony at the Dog and Duck yesterday.

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[quote name='yorks5stringer' timestamp='1418126894' post='2627051']
Following writing "Heart of Gold" Neil Young has teamed up with "Silver Lining" Jeff Beck and "CopperHead Road" Steve Earle to produce a collaboration with the working title "Precious Metal".[/quote]

On Bronze Records?

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In an unexpected change of policy, Iceland have just announced a new addition to their "Premier League" Food range (any 3 for £5) for Christmas. Endorsed by "Mysterious Girl" Singer and I'm a Celebrity...err Celebrity, Peter Andre, it's a twist on the Three Bird Roast. Peter explained, "I've taken a heavily bronzed Jordan Foul, an Ostrich and an Emu and combined them. Unfortunately, I won't be doing stuffing". Apparently many Premier league Footballers are however already heavily tweeting this Christmas centrepiece.
Peter also has a new album released for Christmas, called "Mum's gone to Iceland". He explained, I feel this album (3 for £5) captures the spirit of Christmas and my favourite track is "See Her". He sings ( to a cod reggae beat) " I really wanted to see her yeah, so we met at the Ice Cream Freezer" Ivor Novello Award here I come.

Edited by yorks5stringer
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In the 60's, Robert Johnson was a top TV theme tune writer. His catchy theme for a daily soap about a motel near Birmingham was sold to struggling writer Tony Hatch, who was unable to come up with the goods.
It all turned out alright though, when Tony Hatch discovered Pedulla Clark in a subway downtown, when she was struggling to get her bass guitar business off the ground. However, the bass business struggles to this day, resulting in her having to do Eurovision in order to keep herself from financial ruin.

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[quote name='Phil Adams' timestamp='1418141617' post='2627293']
John Lennon and Macca first met when John got a summer holiday job at the McCartney family's quarry.
The two young musicians got on so well that they decided to form a band and call it the Stonemasons.
[/quote]

I heard Mick and Keef worked there too and their suggestion of "The Rolling Stonemasons" caused their swift departure to another Quarry across the Mersey

Edited by yorks5stringer
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[quote name='Phil Adams' timestamp='1418141617' post='2627293']
John Lennon and Macca first met when John got a summer holiday job at the McCartney family's quarry.
The two young musicians got on so well that they decided to form a band and call it the Stonemasons.
[/quote]

And.... Was that before or after they had the corner shop on Stella Street?

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Early 70's hippy songstress Melanie was so enthusiastic on her diet of takeaways that when she heard Mick and Keef's "Ruby Tuesday", she just had to record it. She followed this smash hit with "Chinese Wednesday", "Kebab Thursday", "Pizza Friday" and "Brand New Key" when her voice dropped and she was unable to hit the high notes any more.

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[quote name='Phil Adams' timestamp='1418143915' post='2627326']
Early 70's hippy songstress Melanie was so enthusiastic on her diet of takeaways that when she heard Mick and Keef's "Ruby Tuesday", she just had to record it. She followed this smash hit with "Chinese Wednesday", "Kebab Thursday", "Pizza Friday" and "Brand New Key" when her voice dropped and she was unable to hit the high notes any more.
[/quote]

The moguls of the music industry, impressed with the original Melanie's success, used special cloning and genetic modification techniques when assembling The Spice Girls, which featured the 'B' and 'C' models.

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Talking of shouty pop queens, Whitney Houston never used a microphone when in concert, and her rendition of "I will always love you" would often see members of the audience in the first 50 rows rushing for the exits with blood streaming from their ears.
Pete Townshend always tried to be "Louder than Whitney" but the Hi-Watt stacks were never quite up to it.

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