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Noel Gallagher versus the world


UglyDog
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Following on from the Kaiser Chiefs thread... seems over the years, Noel Gallagher has been** very fond of having a pop at anybody who isn't Noel Gallagher. Some of them get their own back too though...

[b]Keane[/b]:
Noel G: "[i]Traditionally speaking, the three biggest twats in any band are the singer, the keyboardist and the drummer. I don't need to say anything else.[/i]"
Tim Rice-Oxley: "[i]We don't really care. I think he's a **** to be honest. He was in a band that was brilliant in the '90s and now they're just not important anymore.[/i]"

[b]Liam Gallagher[/b]:
Noel G: "[i]I read these interviews with him and I don't know who the guy is who's in these interviews, he seems really cool, because the guy I've been in a band with for the last 18 years is a ****ing knobhead.[/i]"
Liam G: "[i]I love our kid – as in the Noel that's not in a band. But the ****in' geezer that's in the band? I ****ing absolutely ****ing despise him.[/i]"

[b]James Blunt[/b]:
Noel G: “[i]I ‘d never draw on my own life for songwriting inspiration as it would result in songs more boring than James Blunt's.[/i]"
James Blunt: "[i]For once, I agree with him.[/i]"

[b]Bloc Party[/b]:
Noel G: "[i]indie s**t[/i]"
Kele Okereke: "[i]I think Oasis are the most overrated and pernicious band of all time. They had a totally negative and dangerous impact upon the state of British music. They have made stupidity hip... Oasis are repetitive Luddites." {later described Noel and Liam as "inbred twins."} [/i]

[b][i]Mark Ronson[/i][/b][i]:[/i]
[i]Noel G: "[i]He wants to write his own tunes instead of ruining everyone else's.[/i]"[/i]
[i]Mark Ronson: "[i]Noel Gallagher said I should learn three chords on the guitar and go write a tune. So I just wanted him to know that I'm actually taking guitar lessons from Jay-Z right now, and he's already taught me both chords to ‘Wonderwall’." [/i][/i]


**[size=3] following on from the punctuation puns in another thread, perhaps this should read "Noel Gallagher, has-been"..?[/size]

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I was watching "Pointless" one day where the category was "Top ten hits by Oasis" - loads and loads of pointless answers cos basically they'll be remembered for one track, "Wonderwall".

Q: Has this joined the list of "Don't playables" in guitar shops along with "Stairway to Heaven" [i]et al[/i]??

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Mr Gallagher's pronouncements inevitably mesh with my own estimations of his targets.

And the simple fact is that everyone reads and remembers what he says but no one can ever recall what the other bloke came back with.

Let's experiment with the following hypothetical exchange:

Gallagher: X is the f**kin' Mr Whippy of rock

X: The problem Noel Gallagher's got is that his records aren't selling anymore and - let's face it - his heyday was nearly twenty years ago, nothwithstanding he's given a lot of pleasure to a lot of people I'd have to say that there's very little fire in his work, particularly since the big break-up so yes, he might have been popular once but he's got nothing to say nowadays and I think it's just a bit sad really because I've got a copy of Morning Glory at home and it was a classic of its time, I was listening to it and - weelllll - his guitar tone is a bit mushy, that's something I try to avoid in my own work, so when we got Brendan O'Brien in for the last album we decided to use a mix of two Royer ribbons and a Heil PR-40 for the rhythm parts and when we EQ'd it through an Eddy Mercx plug-in in ProTools, there it was - ha ha! - my signature live sound.
[center]

[size=3][color=#ff0000][b]FACT: In Every Field of Human Endeavour Noel Gallagher Is Possessed Of God-Like Genius; [/b][/color][b]Only Bitter Underachievers Disagree[/b][/size][/center]

Edited by skankdelvar
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At least when Mark Ronson does a cover he acknowledges the fact. How Noel Gallagher has not been sued yet for plagiarism is beyond me.

He wrote a handful of songs that captured a period of time. That was about 20 years ago, now he means virtually nothing.

When your interviews are more entertaining than your albums it is time to give up.

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Past it? Perhaps. And yet here we are avidly discussing our dislike of him :)

Young people don't bother because they haven't heard of him. But those who sense the chill of autumn and the imminent touch of the grim reaper's bony finger look at him and say 'Why him? Why not me? Or [i]my[/i] favourite artist?'.

Bilbo has it right ([i]law of averages, I suppose[/i]) when he says that people don't like Gallagher because he's working class and mouthy. So, envy and middle class snobbery it (mostly) is. :)

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[quote name='sprocketflup' timestamp='1425933651' post='2712534']
14 posts in just about 6 hours? hardly an 'avid' discussion?
[/quote]

More avid than some threads that slink on here, pull a couple of posts then crawl off and die. And it's not like it's the first - he crops up about every three months and has done so since 2008 to my certain knowledge. In fact there was a Sleaford Mods thread just now that veered off into Gallagherisations and I should know because I did the veering. :)

Basically, every time he opens his big gob people rush on here whimpering about the nasty rude man and dabbing their temples with eau-de-cologne.

You know why?

Because he's big and loud and brash and - worst of all - a guitarist. Simple object of hatred for every passive-aggressive bass player who's ever stood in the shadows dreaming of recognition but can't step up because every time they do a small damp patch appears in the crutch of their trousers and a roadie has to run on and stand in front of them and towel them off.

That's why he's a villain to so many of us. He is unadulterated, no-nonsense guitard and we simply can't bear it, my dears.

Edited by skankdelvar
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[quote name='xilddx' timestamp='1425936549' post='2712584']
I like Noel, he's an intelligent geezer. But he's in danger of becoming a parody of himself if he carries on like this. He needs a change of pace.
[/quote]

He's nowhere near a parody of himself because he is, and always has been, an arse. He's one of the mascots of the Zoo and Nuts magazine yob/lad culture of don't read books and don't learn anything that might open your eyes to a different way of thinking. He's the sort of person that seems to want to keep those who are from his background where they are and not bother trying to achieve.

Edited by Marvin
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[quote name='Marvin' timestamp='1425937461' post='2712602']
He's nowhere near a parody of himself because he is, and always has been, an arse. He's one of the mascots of the Zoo and Nuts magazine yob/lad culture of don't read books and don't learn anything that might open your eyes to a different way of thinking. He's the sort of person that seems to want to keep those who are from his background where they are and not bother trying to achieve.
[/quote]

I honestly don't believe that.

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...as well having his male appendage firmly planted on his forehead he also seems to have a huge chip on his shoulder.

[url="http://www.theguardian.com/books/2013/oct/18/noel-gallagher-fiction-waste-time"]http://www.theguardian.com/books/2013/oct/18/noel-gallagher-fiction-waste-time[/url]

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I've actually got a lot of time for Noel, not least because he's quite prepared to puncture a few over inflated egos with a healthy disregard for people's status. He's also very bright, and has the same forthright view of the world as another bright guy from a tough background - Billy Connolly, who also has a healthy disregard for giving 'respect' to authority.

He's also a very good songwriter : the first HFB album was excellent and I'm looking forward to hearing the new one, and the body of work he created on the early Oasis albums is unquestionably 'classic'. He certainly says things for effect sometimes, but that's showbiz, and it's interesting to note that he is one of two people who can still double the sale of magazines by being on the cover : Morrissey being the other. People may not like him, but he's never dull and his interviews always provoke comment.

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[quote name='xilddx' timestamp='1425936549' post='2712584']
I like X, he's an intelligent geezer. But he's in danger of becoming a parody of himself if he carries on like this. He needs a change of pace.
[/quote]

Where X = George Michael, Lemmy, John Lydon, or any other long term muso.

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I think he`s a very funny bloke with some of the things he comes out with. And I liked Oasis, well up to the 3rd album anyway. Not all music has to be incredibly thoughtful, with earnest intelligent men attempting to right the wrongs of the world, and Oasis fitted being nothing like that very well, just easy to listen to songs that were good for drunken singalongs. There are worse things to do in life than make such music (though I`m sure others may disagree).

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