Drummer battle - of sorts....

[Big_Stu]

Going with the Mrs to a show tomorrow, their guitarist gave us plenty of notice and we're making a bit of a day of it it would appear.
It seems their drummer likes to have "joke exchanges", problem is I'm cr@p at telling jokes - or remembering them & most of the drummer gags I know can't be repeated with a lady present (I could always keep sending her to the bar I suppose).

Anyone got any good (reasonably clean) jokes that I can "borrow"?

[Truckstop]

Air conditioning? Not a fan.

[RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE]

I know where you're coming from. When I chat to people, some think I know loads of jokes because of my dry sense of humour.( and slapstick).
I do know a few , but I forget when put on the spot . My humour seems to win most people over . I'm sure you'll be fine .

[Funky Dunky]

What's the difference between a bad drummer and a chiropodist?

A chiropodist bucks up the feet.



I shall acquire my coat.....

[gelfin]

Plenty here.

http://basschat.co.uk/topic/62236-bad-jokes/

[ezbass]

What do you call a drummer without a wife or girlfriend? Homeless.
How do you know when there's a drummer at the door? The knocking speeds up.
What do you call 5 drum kits at the bottom of a lake? A good start.
The U.S. Cavalry are approaching a Sioux war party, when they hear the war drums. "I don't like the sound of those drums," says the captain, when from the war party comes the reply, "Don't worry, he's not our regular drummer."

[Big_Stu]

[quote name='RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE' timestamp='1440012572' post='2847623']
I know where you're coming from. When I chat to people, some think I know loads of jokes because of my dry sense of humour.( and slapstick).
I do know a few, but I forget when put on the spot . My humour seems to win most people over . I'm sure you'll be fine .
[/quote]

Yeah, that's normally how I am but then I got told "wait, the drummer wants to tell you jokes". I'm more of funny but true anecdotes rather than "jokes". There's 11 in the band so hopefully it won't be my turn very often.

[Big_Stu]

[quote name='ezbass' timestamp='1440013271' post='2847640']How do you know when there's a drummer at the door? The knocking speeds up.[/quote]

That was going to be my first reserve in case the bassist jokes start; but the version I heard was;
"How do you know there's a drummer at your door?
The knocking speeds up, then slows down, then they come in when you don't expect them to"

[ezbass]

[quote name='Big_Stu' timestamp='1440013729' post='2847646']


That was going to be my first reserve in case the bassist jokes start; but the version I heard was;
"How do you know there's a drummer at your door?
The knocking speeds up, then slows down, then they come in when you don't expect them to"
[/quote]

[DiceSociety]

What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? With a drum machine, you only have to punch the information in once.

I'll get my coat...

[Big_Stu]

If we had one of the "ba-ba-dum-tish" emoticons on here it'd be like that sponsored drumathon.

[Funky Dunky]

I can't post my favourite drummer joke here

[discreet]

[quote name='Big_Stu' timestamp='1440023445' post='2847742']
If we had one of the "ba-ba-dum-tish" emoticons on here it'd be like that sponsored drumathon.
[/quote]

[4-string-thing]

What's the difference between a drummer and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four...

[Painy]

What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer.

[Big_Stu]

All worked out well in the end. I'd been told about this joke-telling in a phone call from the guitarist - using the drummers phone - mobile to mobile - internationally
It was just the guitarist winding up the drummer, saying he wanted to tell me jokes while all the time the drummer was in the background wishing to hell he'd just finish the call instead of racking up his bill.

[BassTractor]

So we've been having a great time for nothing then?
Well, thank you!

[Big_Stu]

There's always a next time - they say they're coming back next year, it'll give me time to rehearse the jokes in case I do need them