Big_Stu Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 Going with the Mrs to a show tomorrow, their guitarist gave us plenty of notice and we're making a bit of a day of it it would appear. It seems their drummer likes to have "joke exchanges", problem is I'm cr@p at telling jokes - or remembering them & most of the drummer gags I know can't be repeated with a lady present (I could always keep sending her to the bar I suppose). Anyone got any good (reasonably clean) jokes that I can "borrow"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truckstop Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 Air conditioning? Not a fan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 I know where you're coming from. When I chat to people, some think I know loads of jokes because of my dry sense of humour.( and slapstick). I do know a few , but I forget when put on the spot . My humour seems to win most people over . I'm sure you'll be fine . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Funky Dunky Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 What's the difference between a bad drummer and a chiropodist? A chiropodist bucks up the feet. I shall acquire my coat..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gelfin Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 Plenty here. http://basschat.co.uk/topic/62236-bad-jokes/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezbass Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 What do you call a drummer without a wife or girlfriend? Homeless. How do you know when there's a drummer at the door? The knocking speeds up. What do you call 5 drum kits at the bottom of a lake? A good start. The U.S. Cavalry are approaching a Sioux war party, when they hear the war drums. "I don't like the sound of those drums," says the captain, when from the war party comes the reply, "Don't worry, he's not our regular drummer." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big_Stu Posted August 19, 2015 Author Share Posted August 19, 2015 [quote name='RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE' timestamp='1440012572' post='2847623'] I know where you're coming from. When I chat to people, some think I know loads of jokes because of my dry sense of humour.( and slapstick). I do know a few, but I forget when put on the spot . My humour seems to win most people over . I'm sure you'll be fine . [/quote] Yeah, that's normally how I am but then I got told "wait, the drummer wants to tell you jokes". I'm more of funny but true anecdotes rather than "jokes". There's 11 in the band so hopefully it won't be my turn very often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big_Stu Posted August 19, 2015 Author Share Posted August 19, 2015 [quote name='ezbass' timestamp='1440013271' post='2847640']How do you know when there's a drummer at the door? The knocking speeds up.[/quote] That was going to be my first reserve in case the bassist jokes start; but the version I heard was; "How do you know there's a drummer at your door? The knocking speeds up, then slows down, then they come in when you don't expect them to" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezbass Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 [quote name='Big_Stu' timestamp='1440013729' post='2847646'] That was going to be my first reserve in case the bassist jokes start; but the version I heard was; "How do you know there's a drummer at your door? The knocking speeds up, then slows down, then they come in when you don't expect them to" [/quote] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiceSociety Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? With a drum machine, you only have to punch the information in once. I'll get my coat... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big_Stu Posted August 19, 2015 Author Share Posted August 19, 2015 If we had one of the "ba-ba-dum-tish" emoticons on here it'd be like that sponsored drumathon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Funky Dunky Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 I can't post my favourite drummer joke here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 [quote name='Big_Stu' timestamp='1440023445' post='2847742'] If we had one of the "ba-ba-dum-tish" emoticons on here it'd be like that sponsored drumathon. [/quote] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4-string-thing Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 What's the difference between a drummer and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Painy Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A drummer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big_Stu Posted August 21, 2015 Author Share Posted August 21, 2015 All worked out well in the end. I'd been told about this joke-telling in a phone call from the guitarist - using the drummers phone - mobile to mobile - internationally It was just the guitarist winding up the drummer, saying he wanted to tell me jokes while all the time the drummer was in the background wishing to hell he'd just finish the call instead of racking up his bill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassTractor Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 So we've been having a great time for nothing then? Well, thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big_Stu Posted August 21, 2015 Author Share Posted August 21, 2015 There's always a next time - they say they're coming back next year, it'll give me time to rehearse the jokes in case I do need them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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