Thinking of quitting bass. Opinions please

[Twincam]

Ok so I've came close to stopping playing before and I carried on but once again I'm having a bit of a wobble for much the same reasons.

Today I tried to learn a few tunes and it was a horrible experience I won't say what they are through embarrassment I suppose they would be considered beginner to intermediate level.
I'm not very good to put it bluntly for various reasons and I don't think I'm going to get anywhere near the standard I want and my standards are actually pretty low. I've been playing/learning for nearly 3 years and apart from a few weeks here and there I've always practiced at least an hour a day.
I'm really really not a natural that and an old forearm/hand injury probably means my left hand will always struggle and it may not get much better than it is now.
I can't get past a fairly basic level of playing although my basic playing and technique are alright I'm really struggling to do many songs and I won't be happy at my current level. I could go for lessons but there are a few reasons why I can't.
My girlfriend thinks I should quit and said I'm clearly not enjoying it, when that's not true I do find it frustrating but I think I'm happy learning I think. And she also said bluntly at times I am not very good, which really got to me, it wasn't meant to but it basically really hurt and depressed me.

I'm worried if I quit it will actually effect me, as learning to play, working on basses and so on is my main hobby now, what else will i do. Not to mention I've invested a bit of money and a lot of time learning all the aspects of fret work and replacement. General bass setup. I feel if I quit playing there is no way I would want anything to do with working on them as I would feel like I failed. And I did have plans this year to further my skills with the goal of maybe in the future doing it as a profession, that would be down the drain.

At the end of last year I taken 5-6 or so weeks off playing and while I came back really enthusiastic I'm not sure if taking another break will work.

I feel equally trapped between wanting to continue learning and quitting. I could argue it both ways! Someone once said maybe bass isn't for me, I don't want to hear that but maybe it isn't. It is my fav instrument and I can't see me learning anything else so if I quit it would be me quitting learning to play any instrument. Maybe I'm making to big a deal about what is a hobby but I really feel I don't have anything else going for me currently

[Roger2611]

I feel your pain, I am on the verge of packing up table tennis because I have an unrealistic expectation of how good I think I should be, our team captain is a national coach so has helped my game a fair bit....but as he says "you spend 20 hours a week playing bass and 4 hours a week playing table tennis and have done that for the last 30 years... I do the opposite...I guarantee that you are a far better table tennis player than I am bass player" his point, and I think it's a fair one is it is all down to practice....you are already a damn site better bass player than most people on this planet and are probably far better than you give yourself credit for...set yourself realistic goals and don't beat yourself up if you don't get there first time.

[Dad3353]

A few remarks and a couple of questions, if you would..?

There are not many folks that get through life in general totally on their own; if there are any at all, I don't know them. Many tasks and skills are so much more assimilable given either good tutoring or good support. Practise is one thing; quality practise is another. Maybe you're trying to run before walking..? Three years is not that long to become proficient in any instrument, more especially if you're on your own. Whatever the reasons for not taking up regular, costly lessons, is there really no way at all of putting in the effort of taking, say, a monthly lesson for three months, or similar..?
Do you get to play bass with other folks..? Whatever the (perceived...) level, there is certainly someone not too far away that would appreciate your contribution, however modest. It may not be in your favourite style or context, but playing bass is playing bass, for whatever formation, when cut down to the very basics. Often, that is exactly what's required. This would not preclude the continued self-improvement you're striving for, but meanwhile you're playing something useful.
Turn your bass around, and play it 'lefty'. Do you find that difficult and uncomfortable..? Well, that's how you started out originally, the very first time you picked up the instrument. The difference in sensation is a modest measure of the improvement already found in those short three years.
It matters little enough what others think of your passion (as long as no-one is really hurt, of course..!), and not everyone will understand the pleasure to be derived from small successes and victories after weeks or months of stagnation. When it starts to go right, it may not be apparent to others, but you'll know. Persist, as long as the effort involved brings pleasure, but be patient and not so hard on yourself. It's true, some folks take up tasks with more ease than others, but they are not [i]you[/i].
In a 'worst-case' scenario, there is more to music than bass guitar, but that would involve adopting a totally different mind-set. There would still be effort and frustration, anyway.
Not sure if this helps, of course; others will surely have other views.

Edited February 10, 2016 by Dad3353

[BottomE]

Only 3 years! That's nothing. I was sh*t for about 30 years and only recently think that i am anywhere near competent (which is a matter of opinion). Thing is if you don't enjoy the challenge or have fun, whats the point?.

Don't know your schedule/routines but maybe you could be using practice time more effectively.

Not sure what to say - if it really is a drag then do something else for a hobby.

Edited February 10, 2016 by BottomE

[LayDownThaFunk]

Really encouraging gf...

Keep at it man. When my last band broke up, I was extremely depressed seeing as we did some big support slots for touring bands. I was thinking of quitting too but I put down my bass for a month and didn't even get it out the case. Very slowly over time, my enthusiasm for music and jamming and playing with new musicians started to come back and I set about forming a new band with my interest in bass sky high. Just take a break and have a Kit Kat.

[BigRedX]

Are you in a band? If not join one now!

[Roland Rock]

[quote name='BigRedX' timestamp='1455132640' post='2976329']
Are you in a band? If not join one now!
[/quote]

Pretty much what I was just about to post

[RhysP]

If it's giving you more grief than pleasure knock it on the head. I hadn't really enjoyed playing for years before finally knocking it on the head last year.
I play guitar as well but to be honest I'm not getting anything out of that either, so I intend to stop this year.

Like you I do enjoy tinkering with guitars & basses, and do a bit of work on them for other people occasionally. If you enjoy doing that then there's nothing stopping you carrying on with it. I tend to buy guitars, set them up really well, play them for a couple of months & then flog them, then repeat the process.
I enjoy doing that far more than actually playing.

Also, don't listen to what other people say about your playing. If I'd taken any notice of the negative, unsupportive comments of my mother when I was 14 I'd never have gone on to have 20+ years of largely enjoyable musical activity.

Edited February 10, 2016 by RhysP

[Sausages]

Hi Twincam. I'm not that great either, but sometimes I just need to sit and think about what it is I want to achieve, and what it is that I feel I'm not good at. Are there aspects that you avoid because you think that they are too difficult? I am guilty of this too. Also, remember that being "good" is relative. Many people who listen to bass playing have only heard it from pretty good players, so their expectations are probably unrealistic. Your playing may not sound like Geddy Lee, for example, but he's a professional and has been playing for 45 years.

Try something that you haven't tried before, like a different style, or different music. Practice routines can get really stale.

Also, and this is a big one for me, stop worrying about how "good" you are and enjoy what you're doing. If it just becomes a race with yourself to achieve goals that aren't even clearly defined, then you will never feel that you are getting anywhere.

You don't say why you can't take lessons, but couldn't you just stretch to one or two? It might give you the right perspective to get back your enthusiasm.

Hope it all works out.

[Doctor J]

When I was a kid I had an open double fracture of my left (weaker) arm, damaged a load of nerves and couldn't move my little or ring fingers for about 6 months afterwards. After uncomfortable electro treatment, they started working again though I still have limited feeling in them and they don't like to move in cold weather. I started playing bass a few years after that. I got frustrated that my mates quickly progressed to much higher levels than I will ever be capable of. I can relate to your arm injury situation, even if our stories might be different. It frustrated me but I just love the sound of the instrument, that feeling in your chest when those low frequencies shake your ribcage. If you love the sound of a bass, then stick with it. Try working on more basic stuff, say old AC/DC for example - it's not too taxing on the left arm but it will make you a better player. If you can play along to all of the "If You Want Blood" album you're not doing badly. You might progress slower than you'd like but a good right hand technique can really help if your left is weaker, trust me.

I'm still never as good as I'd like to be (who is?) and I'm ridiculously sensitive to setup - I just can't function on even remotely high action - so maybe look at how you play the instrument and how your bass is setup. Experiment with strap height, always try to have the bass in the same place when you sit and stand. You might find your arms just work better at certain positions. As I said, if you even remotely enjoy the instrument you owe it to yourself to explore a few different avenues before you break out the kerosene.

[elephantgrey]

[quote name='BigRedX' timestamp='1455132640' post='2976329']
Are you in a band? If not join one now!
[/quote]

This, or have you tried getting a tutor?

And i would definitely keep going! I also had a slump 2-3 years into learning bass, it was about then when my progress started to slow. Keep at it though.
I don't believe that 'bass not being for you' is really a thing. Playing bass is a skill, and like all other skills its something you have to learn and practice to master. sure, some people will find it easier than others (especially at the start), but everyone who is even an intermediately skilled player will have had to put work in to get where they are.

so yeah, keep at it, remember that bass is awesome, and look into joining a band and/or getting a tutor.

[Grangur]

I'm in a similar position to the OP, in that my schedule doesn't really lend it's self to being able to book lessons. Yet without lessons you can become aimless in your practice. From time to time I've struggled with finding what to do next.

I don't have time to be in a band; time again.

So, much to the disgust of some folk here I spend my time playing by sight reading "normal music". It's not what folk normally do with a bass, but I enjoy it. Maybe you can give that a go?

Also, to get lessons when it suits you, have you tried a trial 14 days of the Scotts Bass Lessons Academy ? That's what I use. The resources there are 2nd to none and you get to have live online lessons-Q&A sessions with folk like Ed Friedland, Anthony Wellington, Steve Lawrence, Danny Mo Morris. Ariane Capp.

If you'd like to know more about SBLA PM me or ask questions here.

[AndyTravis]

It's a eureka moment thing.

I've been playing for 18 years, and I go through periods of doubt and "I used to be better than this/I used to be able to play *insert tune here* and now I can't..."

I plateau, then I find something, and then I have good day/bad day syndrome with my playing.

3 years is a long time in some respects, but a very short time in others.

I must admit that running through Motown tracks when I wasn't playing that style really put me on a downer - I found myself simplifying things and then building up. Now they're stored and I can do them pretty well when I need to.

And the Bass Heroes such as Wooten/Miller etc are actually a rare breed...

Think to yourself, do you want a kick about in the park with your mates, or try to get signed for Real Madrid - and which is more realistic? There are some great footballers among my friends, but they never had trials.

Crap analogy from a non football fan, but you get the idea. Take solice in some of the players like Adam Clayton, Richard Jones, Guigsy...solid and well off bassists who didn't set the fretboard alight.

Not everyone is destined to take Mark King's throne. Myself included - no matter how I dreamed of doing so when I was 20.

[Cato]

I suspect everbody experiences plateaus where we feel that we're not improving or have a hit a brick wall with where we want to go next.

I don't think learning an instrument is a smooth learning curve of constant improvement, its more like a series of steps and landings, some of steps are quite small and some of the landings between them are longer than others.

(apologies if I sound like a budget guru).

Edited February 10, 2016 by Cato

[3below]

After 43 yrs playing I can still have times when it is as if I have never played the bass before. I have reached a point where I can usually play well enough to enjoy playing in a band. I will never be the next Jaco (or whoever) but it keeps me happy. Do you gain enjoyment from bass playing? HOw good do you want to be in view of the time available, commitments you have and potential rewards available?

[Marvin]

Join a band.

It does 2 things. Firstly it ups your playing. Secondly, you realise that you aren't crap at all and that all the people you thought would be brilliant are at best average

[Maude]

[quote name='BigRedX' timestamp='1455132640' post='2976329']
Are you in a band? If not join one now!
[/quote]


Was going to say the exact same thing.
I learnt on the job so to speak, and every time I've joined a new band my playing skill level has leapt up the ladder.
It's an invaluable experience.

[Lord Sausage]

Just don't put the stress on yourself about what level you should be at. It isn't a competition.It is not a race. It's music. It's about expression and enjoyment. Relax, enjoy it, express yourself. Be at one with it! It will come naturally!

[JoeEvans]

Join a rowdy pub blues band and have a laugh; and meanwhile keep doing your scales, up and down against a metronome in an unstressed, meditational mood without any real targets or sense of pressure - just slow down until they flow evenly and easily then repeat, repeat, repeat until the rough edges are polished smooth.

Don't worry too much about what your girlfriend said - very few bass players sound good when they are practicing by themselves, it's just not that kind of instrument; and the truth is that playing a musical instrument does sometimes put pressure on the time available within a relationship, which isn's always easy for the other partner. But she would want you to be happy (I hope!) so if playing bass is what you want to do then go for it. And keep doing your scales.

[Daz39]

I've been playing Bass for 20 years and I'm still pretty average. Sure I can play Red Barchetta and a dozen of Rush's top tunes
all the way through, but I only know a few scales, can't sight read, my timing is probably poor as I've not been in a band for 19 years, and I
find Theory numbingly boring - and I cheat by being a Guitarist too...

It keeps me happy, I enjoy hearing jingles and playing them by ear, and I've even stuck at it long enough to start handing the reins
over to my kids - one of whom now has a ukelele.

Don't give up - the Bass needs you!
As a few others have pointed out: consider how many bass players can play you off the floor. How many of them can a non-musician
name? Not very many... You're better than you think.

Tell us the songs you struggled with - I bet some of us find 'easy' songs harder than complex ones with nice muscle-memory noodly
passages. I know I do!!

[RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE]

Great advice from all of the above . My opinion? Don't think about the bass for now. Get on with your life . Don't sell your stuff. Wait a while, and see if you notice anything missing.
Btw ; regarding the girlfriend . Were you going through a sticky patch at one time ? Sorry if I'm asking the Wong question .
A good friend of mine was engaged to someone Ho was actually resenting him playing . To his friends, we got the impression that she encouraged his playing.
But, behind closed doors it was the opposite . He has been in loads of bands and is an awesome player.
He married somebody else in the end . Lucky escape .
Good luck in what you decide

[Twigman]

Join a band if you're not in one already.



I've played in bands on and off for 35 odd years...I'm still not very good but being in a band makes it all so much more fun.

[dmccombe7]

Don't think you need to be great, good or whatever. If you enjoy doing it then why not. There are guys out there who are exceptional but don't want to play in bands either. Its just fun and keeps them occupied and happy.
If you get fed up with it take a wee break and come back to it.
I used to practice every night after work for 2-3 hrs when i was in my late teens. Played in bands till i was 30 and got fed up with it.
I never stopped mucking around with my basses but couldn't be bothered taking any further than jamming with songs at home.
At age 50 i got back into it via jamming with few old friends and then got back into bands.
I'm no Jaco Pastorious but i do ok and just enjoy whatever level i'm at. I still enjoy jamming to music at home too tho.

Give yourself a wee break and come back to it in few months. If you still feel same then nothing lost really.

All the best
Dave

[mike 110]

The two main obsessions for me Hobby / activity wise have been Judo and Music/Bass , Definitely not natural at either . I didn't take up Judo until I was 25 , got my arse kicked for long enough before I became any good , but I did , not World Champ good , but 2nd Dan good , which when I started was more than I ever thought I could achieve . As a Bass player I won't be giving Mark king lessons anytime soon …. I wish he'd stop asking , he's pissing me off a bit now …. Keep it going bud .
Some great posts on here Twincam , all of them on your side mate .

[White Cloud]

Life is short and it is precious. The meaning of life is to do the things that give your life meaning.

It may help the OP to be happy and stop worrying about worrying.