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Tolerating the intolerable


Nicko
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OK, so our rhythm guitarist seems completely unable to listen to the band and only capable of listening to himself. He will not take any criticism from the mere bassplayer because its my job to play bass not tell him how to play guitar (I'm an ex guitarist btw), and he doesn't take kindly to the others suggesting improvements either.

A couple of examples:

I say, you need to cut that chord dead/mute your strings otherwise it doesn't sound right. He goes on a 15 minute rant about how he would never dream of telling other members of the band how to do their job. I successfully bit my lip when he suggested it was always him that got it wrong. Its not, its just when other band members get it wrong they generally pull a face as if to indicate "yeah, I know, sorry about that"

Guitarist says, I don't think that's the right note. I think it goes E, E, B, E,D or whatever. No says rhythm, I watched it on the internet and he plays it like this. It sounds wrong says the guitariast. My tab agrees with the lead player. They are currently agreeing to disagree on this.

Me: You're a bit loud. Him, Oh its me again getting it wrong. its always me isn't it........ I cant hear myself. Moves position in room, doesn't turn down.

He complains that we don't blow smoke up his a** when he get it right. Generally unless we have been struggling with something in particular we kind of expect the others to get it right.

Anyone who has seen my posts here will know I'm pretty blunt speaking. If it was just me I'd kind of know how to deal with it.I suspect this all stems from me criticising his incessant noodling after we'd set up one night. I did the decent thing and criticised everyone for things they could have got better (including me).

It took a long time to get a settled lineup. The band is pretty good, but all of us are really seeking a level of quality that appears beyond a guy who won't accept constructive comment. He obviously works hard learnng the songs and does add something extra to the band. Playing without a rhythm guitar isn't really an option given the setlist anyway.

I should say the rest of the band is pretty laid back except when it comes to the quality of the final product. We don't really have a leader as such, just all chip in as we need to. Short of walking any ideas on how to address this?

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I agree with the above posts.
I was once in a band who had a keys player like this
He'd only play songs he had the dots for - then, when the dots were wrong (as they sometimes were)
He wouldn't shift, saying "but this is correct, the music is correct"! "It's written down here, look!"

So we'd say, "listen to the CD or Youtube video"
But he always refused to do so, and as we discovered, he couldn't play be ear.....
End result, he stayed..... me & the drummer & rhythm guitarist left....

Good luck, that's all I can say

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[quote name='gary mac' timestamp='1455717407' post='2981764']
If he really won't listen to reason and at this stage you don't want to go down the sacking him route, I would suggest recording a rehearsal. Maybe if he hears it for himself, he will feel differently.
[/quote]

Nice idea :)

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My initial reaction was that you should probably say 'ta-ta' to the rhythm player - he sounds like a drag. However I did then have a few other thoughts that may be worth a ponder:
- Is your band more of a social activity than a business?
- Are you all friends outside of the band?
- Increasingly I find that a lot of problems in and out of work come down to not being able to answer the question 'Who's in charge?'

Depending on your answers to these, I would probably go with keefbaker's advice above.

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Criticism of someone with such a fragile ego is unlikely to yield results. I think gary mac suggestion of recording a rehearsal, then all listening to it and discussing where improvements can be made is a good one. If said rhythmist still can`t hear the issues then at that point, gone.

Edited by Lozz196
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[quote name='Lozz196' timestamp='1455720069' post='2981796']
Criticism of someone with such a fragile ego is unlikely to yield results. I think gary mac suggestion of recording a rehearsal, then all listening to it and discussing where improvements can be made is a good one. If said rhythmist still can`t hear the issues then at that point, gone.
[/quote]

It's the right solution in principle. In practice, I fear that it will go one of two ways:

1. If you suggest everyone listens to the recording separately, then he won't bother.

2. If you suggest everyone listens to the recording as a group, then he'll feel like you're just using it as an opportunity to gang up on him.

That said, if the alternative is to fire him, then it's worth a go.

S.P.

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There's only one beast worse than this character and that's the one who takes on your suggestions, agrees to do it different, then carries on and plays the same way he did before you piped up. It's infuri, infyoo....bloody annoying!

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[quote name='Nicko' timestamp='1455716752' post='2981752']
OK, so our rhythm guitarist seems completely unable to listen to the band and only capable of listening to himself............

..........(I'm an ex guitarist btw),...........[/quote]

The first part to me is screaming inexperience, which it sounds like his fragile ego won't admit to. What would happen if you either - offer to show him what you mean on his guitar for a band consensus - or if he won't have you touching his baby - then take a guitar in and show him.
Either way it would either settle his hash, or open the door for his swift exit.

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Everyone has problems that needs ironing out, if he is your mate and you don't want to kick him out, a good sit down addressing the issues would probably help. If your whole band agrees with you on what he is doing wrong then they should be all up for it. But keep it on track and not get petty with name calling, recording it may help, but if he is inexperienced or doesn't have a great musical ear, he obviously won't hear the problems. maybe writing down the music theory with the scales/chords involved would help him understand what he is doing to the song.

Edited by Old_Ben
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[quote name='Rich' timestamp='1455731577' post='2981940']
Show him the door. If the rest of the band won't fire him, walk. Seriously, it'll drive you bonkers otherwise.
[/quote]

This is what I would do. Assuming you do this as a hobby for fun, as soon as it stops being fun you have to re-think.

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