Too Old?

[stewblack]

So, I've been away from Basschat for a while, been away from the bass for a while too. I suffered a shoulder injury and left my last band when the pain of playing outweighed the pleasure. A couple of years later and having healed I decided to get back on the horse. Seems a shame to waste all those years of experience.
Having slipped off the radar as far as networking is concerned I've gone down the Join My Band.com route and have noticed a worrying trend. I've answered a lot of ads, had a lot of interesting conversations via the private messaging service until I mention my age (53) and every single one without exception has simply stopped communicating with me.
Is there a cut off point where decades of experience ceases to be an attractive quality and people only see you as 'passed it'? Am I at the tender age of 53 on the scrap heap? Is there an alternative to JMB.com where the users are less concerned about grey hair and love handles?

[CamdenRob]

Are you looking at originals bands? A lot of those are still aiming to "make it" so want young fresh faces, funky dance moves, fashionable beards and hats worn at just the right angle... If image is more important than ability (and it usually is), I'm also too old at 33

There are plenty of good options out there though I still manage to find originals bands and I'm the least cool person imaginable... It just takes time and the patience to weed through the dreamers...

Edited March 22, 2016 by CamdenRob

[RockfordStone]

you are only too old when you are dead. with join my band, i guess it depends who you are communicating with, a 20 year old will view 53 year old in a different way than a 40 year old might for example. i now consider myself too old at 32 to be considered by bands looking to "make it".

when i was younger i didn't look for older musicians because rightly or wrongly i wanted someone who was at my level in terms of mentality and perceived drive to succeed. i never considered that older people were bad by any means, but i always wanted someone in my own age range, now I'm older i am less fussed by it.

there are suitable bands out there, but filtering through the sh*t on join my bands takes time.

Edited March 22, 2016 by RockfordStone

[Dood]

I think Join My Band is the problem there, not you! One of my bass students is in his 70's and another lovely chap I taught was in his 60's - No way is there even a scrap heap! Just got to find the people to play with through a different route.

The first proper band I played in, I was about 14 and the rest of the band were all 40+. We had such great fun, so it's not as if you should be confined to playing with just the 50+ers either.

Good luck!

[leftybassman392]

Age doesn't need to be a big factor - I played in a function band a few years ago and was the oldest by 11 years IIRC. Are there not opportunities on Basschat?

[chris_b]

I used to answer ads is Melody Maker and even back then age was always [i]the[/i] deal breaker.

[stewblack]

Thanks for the replies. I was the oldest in my previous band by about 15 years and so it never occurred to me that age might be an issue. I'm not interested in 'making it' any more, just getting out and doing the occasional gig. Perhaps the people I've spoken to are just rude and it has nothing to with my age!

[Japhet]

I'm 18 years older than the next oldest in my band and 26 years older than the youngest.
I'd check out some jam nights if I was you. There are quite often good people from the same area looking to start something up.

Edited March 22, 2016 by Japhet

[PaulWarning]

have you tried advertising yourself?, give your age and what you're looking for, nothing to lose have you?
I got back on the horse at 53 that was 10 years ago and this will be our busiest year for gigs, you might have to settle for a covers band though

Edited March 22, 2016 by PaulWarning

[stewblack]

[quote name='Japhet' timestamp='1458644917' post='3009294']
I'm 18 years older than the next oldest in my band and 26 years older than the youngest.
I'd check out some jam nights if I was you. There are quite often good people from the same area looking to start something up.
[/quote] That may be the way forward.

[BigRedX]

Speaking from experience anyone in their 50s, provided they are still in good health, is probably a better bet in terms of drive and commitment, than most past their early 20s.

I'm in my 50s and the rest of my band are half my age, but I have noticed a drop off in interest on the part of some previous members as they start looking at settling down, buying a house and having kids, building a career etc. That's nearly all behind me, so I have plenty of time to devote to music and IMO the fact that I'm still writing songs and play should say it all. I know my current band appreciate that.

[RockfordStone]

[quote name='stewblack' timestamp='1458644829' post='3009293']
Thanks for the replies. I was the oldest in my previous band by about 15 years and so it never occurred to me that age might be an issue. I'm not interested in 'making it' any more, just getting out and doing the occasional gig. Perhaps the people I've spoken to are just rude and it has nothing to with my age!
[/quote]
you would be best advertising yourself than responding to adds, as most bands on there will either want to be gigging regularly or trying to make it, and if you want to do neither of those that may be more the turn off than your age imo.

if you are upfront in your own ad saying "im 53, i don't want to make it, i just want to do occasional gigs" that will attract more people looking to do similar, you approaching a band that wants to go for it saying that is not going to end in the ideal outcome.

Edited March 22, 2016 by RockfordStone

[discreet]

The music scene is shallow and very age-aware. If you're trying to join an original pop/rock band your age can work against you. Do you actually look old? When auditioning I say I'm at least twenty years younger than I am. Though I suspect this is still seen as too old by some.

I well remember when I first started playing the bass as a feckless teen and knew nothing about anything, I assumed that anyone over 25 was old and worthless. It's all relative. I'm currently having fun in a country band (which I almost joined by accident) and in that genre no-one gives a toss about how old you are, how grey your hair or how inflated your spare tyre (though I've yet to go grey, which is a bonus).

I'm doing more gigs than I have ever done in my whole life, apart from a memorable year or two in the late 70s. I'd say don't worry about it, if it's a problem for anyone then it's a good sign you don't want to be having anything to do with them.

I think the general perception is that, for whatever weird reason, older bass players can only play roots and fifths and will want to be playing either old rock classics or soul/Stax/Motown covers. You can't possibly be an original, talented and tasteful bass player if you're in your fifties, can you?

Edited March 22, 2016 by discreet

[BigRedX]

[quote name='CamdenRob' timestamp='1458644153' post='3009279']
Are you looking at originals bands? A lot of those are still aiming to "make it" so want young fresh faces, funky dance moves, fashionable beards and hats worn at just the right angle...
[/quote]

Actually anyone still sporting a beard is already painfully out of date.

[CamdenRob]

[quote name='CamdenRob' timestamp='1458644153' post='3009279']
Are you looking at originals bands? A lot of those are still aiming to "make it" so want young fresh faces, funky dance moves, [b]fashionable beards[/b] and hats worn at just the right angle...
[/quote]

[quote name='BigRedX' timestamp='1458645339' post='3009301']
Actually anyone still sporting a beard is already painfully out of date.
[/quote]

I have a beard...

[quote name='CamdenRob' timestamp='1458644153' post='3009279']
...and I'm the least cool person imaginable...
[/quote]

case in point...

Edited March 22, 2016 by CamdenRob

[geoffbyrne]

In my band, I am 69, drummer 70, singer 59, guitar 55 and keys is the sprog at 48.

We still make a joyful noise!!

G.

[Urban Bassman]

I'm 55 so I hope I'm not too old either....

Like you I'm looking for a band to join. Age doesn't seem to be an issue, but finding a band or members to start one seems to very difficult. I guess the only answer is to stick with it and keep looking. Timing is everything and being bass players we should know a bit about that!

[PaulWarning]

[quote name='BigRedX' timestamp='1458645339' post='3009301']
Actually anyone still sporting a beard is already painfully out of date.
[/quote]oh! I've got a sort of beard, grew it in a pitiful attempt to hide some of my wrinkles, does help with the scrawny neck though

[RhysP]

[quote name='BigRedX' timestamp='1458645339' post='3009301']
Actually anyone still sporting a beard is already painfully out of date.
[/quote]

Which is why for the first time in my life I've grown one.

[DBerriff]

I started playing big band jazz for the first time when I was 52 and joined a soul/rock band for the first time when I was 55. I had played in the orchestra at school, but after that work and family just got in the way, apart from my lack of self-belief.

At 66 I have just joined a new big band after a year out for personal reasons, and they seem to want my experience. My observation is that things get a bit more difficult once you are in your 80s, but otherwise go for it. I can only suggest is that get out to see bands playing, and push yourself forward. I think you have to accept that the opportunities available might not be quite what you are looking for. I had little interest in big band music before being asked to join in; now I understand and love the genre.

I should add that being able to read is essential for what I have done, although even a basic 4-in-a-bar will do for starters. I don't suppose anything beats experience, but being able to read helps too.

P.S. painfully of date here, and I don't care any more what anyone thinks...

Edited March 22, 2016 by DBerriff

[Happy Jack]

[quote name='discreet' timestamp='1458645317' post='3009300']
(though I've yet to go grey, which is a bonus).

[/quote]

Shave it. Sorted.

Works for me, anyway.

[discreet]

[quote name='Happy Jack' timestamp='1458647467' post='3009339']
Shave it. Sorted.
[/quote]

When I go grey, I will!

[Ghost_Bass]

You're never too old to do what you love, you only need to find the right people.

You've fallen off the radar so you need to start by letting people know that you're here again. Do the jam nights, like someone mentioned, it's a great way to get to know other musicians and do some networking. From there you could find a couple of guys interested in starting a project (a covers band would be the easiest way to start as it involves less time between choosing a playlist and start gigging).

After you're in business again you'll get to know even more people/musicians and the gigging offers will start comming to you.

[Lozz196]

I think a lot of it is down to image, and if the band concerned have one/want one. At that point us 50 plussers are at a disadvantage. Luckily my band is a punk/oi band, so being 50 with a saved head fits well. Add in a Fred Perry and some DMs, sorted.

[stewblack]

[quote name='Ghost_Bass' timestamp='1458647800' post='3009347']
You're never too old to do what you love, you only need to find the right people.

You've fallen off the radar so you need to start by letting people know that you're here again. Do the jam nights, like someone mentioned, it's a great way to get to know other musicians and do some networking. From there you could find a couple of guys interested in starting a project (a covers band would be the easiest way to start as it involves less time between choosing a playlist and start gigging).

After you're in business again you'll get to know even more people/musicians and the gigging offers will start comming to you.
[/quote]
I need to get out and find the jam sessions I suspect. There is nothing where I live, no venues, no jam sessions the scene has died almost entirely so I'll have to travel to big city and find something.