Dan Dare Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 6 hours ago, oZZma said: I could, but I'm not happy with the idea. Not happy at all. This was my last and only contact with humans and motivation to get out of my bedroom. It will not turn out well. Mate, you need to stop obsessing about yourself and get out more. You seem (from this and other posts) to expect everyone to follow your lead and do things your way. It doesn't work that way. People have free will and can choose what they do, when and how. Switch off the computer and join the human race. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest oZZma Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 (edited) 39 minutes ago, Dan Dare said: Edited February 11, 2019 by oZZma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest oZZma Posted February 11, 2019 Share Posted February 11, 2019 (edited) 48 minutes ago, Dan Dare said: Mate, you need to stop obsessing about yourself and get out more. You seem (from this and other posts) to expect everyone to follow your lead and do things your way. It doesn't work that way. People have free will and can choose what they do, when and how. Switch off the computer and join the human race. Oh no you haven't understood me at all. I haven't ever even tried to force or command anyone to make any kind of commitment. But yes, once you choose to do it I expect you to be serious, and respectful, and not to insult my intelligence with excuses instead of taking responsabilities and discussiong things openly like ADULTS do And the fact I have a lonely life now is another story. Edited February 11, 2019 by oZZma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NikNik Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 (edited) Nearly always been because of control freakery by A.N. Other. And, FWIW, I've never been in a band where there was a leader, i.e., the band was his or hers. Edited February 12, 2019 by NikNik Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris_b Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 I've only left one band acrimoniously. I told the band leader to screw himself after he started mucking me about with the gigs. Taking gigs back that he'd given me and giving them to a mate of his. Then he "forget" to tell me he'd cancelled a couple of gigs. The car was loaded and the motor running when I found out! Other than that one, I always try to leave bands on good terms, usually to join another, hopefully better, band. I have been fired. There isn't much you can do if you're good one day and the next they decide your face doesn't fit. Always try to be in 2 bands so the diary doesn't take a hit. Bad experiences can be minimized if you are with better players. Always aim for the bands with a more professional attitude. Playing with guys who are doing it "just for fun" opens you up to all sorts of bad and flaky experiences. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Steve Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 3 hours ago, chris_b said: Bad experiences can be minimized if you are with better players. Always aim for the bands with a more professional attitude. Playing with guys who are doing it "just for fun" opens you up to all sorts of bad and flaky experiences. but then you'd have no stories to tell... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebassist Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 (edited) I'm in a band with a bloke who is constantly lying but he is a great player and he is super reliable so I just turn off when he starts lying. It is hard not to call him out on it though... Edited February 13, 2019 by thebassist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ubit Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 1 hour ago, thebassist said: I'm in a band with a bloke who is constantly lying but he' is a great player and he is super reliable so I just turn off when he starts lying. It is hard not to call him out on it though... I’ve met people like this. One guy was such a teller of tall tales that it was entertaining! He was, apart from the stories, which everyone knew were a load of codswallop, a really nice guy and the only total liar that I have ever met that I liked Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
odysseus Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 7 hours ago, chris_b said: Bad experiences can be minimized if you are with better players. Always aim for the bands with a more professional attitude. Playing with guys who are doing it "just for fun" opens you up to all sorts of bad and flaky experiences. I see where you are coming from and I agree up to a point, but I find that playing with 'just for fun' guys can minimise the potential for some idiot disappearing up their own fundament trying to be a 'star', and sundry other diva-esque behaviours. Bit of a double-edger that one 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Dare Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 On 11/02/2019 at 20:58, oZZma said: Oh no you haven't understood me at all. I haven't ever even tried to force or command anyone to make any kind of commitment. But yes, once you choose to do it I expect you to be serious, and respectful, and not to insult my intelligence with excuses instead of taking responsabilities and discussiong things openly like ADULTS do And the fact I have a lonely life now is another story. You said it. You "expect" people to do what you demand. Could there be a connection between that and the "lonely life"? Not having a go at you, but I've found over 60 plus years that the place to find why we have problems/issues is inside, not outside ourselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodinblack Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 On 11/02/2019 at 18:24, ubit said: Our guitarist, my mate, was passively aggressive. We would all agree on a song. He might say I’m not that keen. We would say well look , the rest of us want to do it. Next week, did you learn that song? No, but I learned this, try it. It used to boil my wee This is very close to home. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodinblack Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 On 11/02/2019 at 20:58, oZZma said: Oh no you haven't understood me at all. I haven't ever even tried to force or command anyone to make any kind of commitment. But yes, once you choose to do it I expect you to be serious, and respectful, and not to insult my intelligence with excuses instead of taking responsabilities and discussiong things openly like ADULTS do Adults do that? Wow! I have never noticed that to be a fact. I expect people to be fairly flakey and make excuses. When they aren't, I am pleasantly surprised, but it isn't that often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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