Dandelion Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 They're a great bunch. A mishmash of hard working chaps. We have been together nearly three years, I really like the guys a lot. But,....... They're not very good. The new singer is awful. And it is hacking me off. The lads really are great, I feel like I am kicking a puppy when I consider leaving. I enjoy the band practices from a social point of view but musically they frustrate me. I would stay just for the social bit but another local band has just advertised for a bass player. I know what I need to do. But it's gonna chuffin' hurt. But then should I stay with them. I really am in too minds. Can't sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris_b Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 So you'll be sorry to say good-bye. I've remained friends with bands I've left. If they are so crap you can't sleep you've got to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M@23 Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 I've been there too. Exact situation. Time to move on to something new! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gary mac Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 If they are still crap after three years, then that's unlikely to improve. That would be fine, if you were happy with it and just purely enjoying having a practice/jam with them but obviously you're not. Time to contact the other band I reckon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssentialTension Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 Stay with that band for social reasons and join another one too for musical reasons. First date in the diary gets your attention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 Only one outcome in my opinion. Once you've left you'll realise you did the right thing. You can still see your exes for a drink... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coilte Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 Move on...would be my advice. You can always try to find other social outlets that don't involve playing music. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hobbayne Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 (edited) I played with a truly awful band for loyalty (And because they had a lot of work) until I realised I had to get out. I was glad to go, and have since become a better player. Edited June 13, 2016 by Hobbayne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassjim Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 tell em you are "helping the other band out" till they find a replacement. Carry on as much as you can normally but you can now justify missing the "odd" rehearsal cause you need to get up to speed. As time goes by you just gravitate towards the new band and as they are so busy. No one can blame you..you didnt just leave, it just happened like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Number6 Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 The new band could all be a bunch of asshats..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norris Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 [quote name='EssentialTension' timestamp='1465800200' post='3070977'] Stay with that band for social reasons and join another one too for musical reasons. First date in the diary gets your attention. [/quote] This, but there has to be a pecking order - the band that has the most gigs/earns the most/gives you most satisfaction (whichever is your priority) comes first, but you honour the first one in your diary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 [quote name='Number6' timestamp='1465808017' post='3071051'] The new band could all be a bunch of asshats..... [/quote] That almost certainly goes without saying, but if they're asshats that can play, it may be worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrunoBass Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 [quote name='EssentialTension' timestamp='1465800200' post='3070977'] Stay with that band for social reasons and join another one too for musical reasons. First date in the diary gets your attention. [/quote] This. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassjim Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 Played in a band with a complete asshat for about 3-4 years. In hindsight it was the right thing to do. Gigged about 2-4 times a week every week and got to make a lot of new friends, earned local respect from other bandos which employed me as a dep then and now,travelled abroad to play, met the soon to be new Mrs bassjim, made enough lolly to go out and buy the gear I always wanted to try to the point I'm actually happy with what I use and the list goes on. However I used to get wound up at least once a week and could have happily punched the git, which is out of character for me, so it was at times unpleasant. Thing is every one else thought he was a complete sh*t as well so I had some support there but man could he play...and then some! Ok so the new band may not be as established as that (at the moment) but it sounds like the possibilities are reachable with them whereas the existing lot are social buddies. If they are great mates surley they will understand and if you are upfront about it maybe they will allow you to go and try it out, and if they turn out to be ,for better or worse, asshats, maybe you can jump back in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 (edited) [quote name='bassjim' timestamp='1465810461' post='3071082'] If they are great mates surley they will understand and if you are upfront about it maybe they will allow you to go and try it out, and if they turn out to be ,for better or worse, asshats, maybe you can jump back in? [/quote] I wouldn't feel I needed a band's permission to check out other bands! The OP doesn't need to say anything for starters - he can surely see if something's going to work or not elsewhere before needing to tell his current band he's leaving. Obviously give them good notice and help them out if necessary while they find a replacement, etc - but it's down to the individual to decide what they want to do in this situation. IMHO. Edited June 13, 2016 by discreet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassjim Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 (edited) The politics of bands eh?...............So no you dont need any ones permission, and I couldnt agree more with that. I'm suggesting a diplomatic approach as these are good mates. If they feel like they are part of the process rather that find out then its all peace and love. Bands come and go but mates is mates. But.... I think Discreet has a good and very valid point that you can go and check em out before saying anything to anyone..... My reasoning is because the OP really likes his mates he understandably wants above all to remain on good terms should he jump ship. Edited June 13, 2016 by bassjim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 [quote name='bassjim' timestamp='1465814914' post='3071111'] Bands come and go but mates is mates. [/quote] That is true enough, but no point rocking the boat unless there's a very good reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTUK Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 If it is not working, fix it, If you don't or can't fix it..and poor players arent fixable, IMO then move on. You don't have to fall out with people you would rather not play with. They'll probably know anyway. You can word these things politely. Worst situation is not knowing what is wrong in the first place..or not really caring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spongebob Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 I've always found that playing with bad bands results in my playing badly, even if you're better, it'll rub off. I'd personally move on to something you're happier with. Once the idea's crossed your mind, that's it....and you're probably already 50% out the door! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RhysP Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 [quote name='bassjim' timestamp='1465814914' post='3071111'] Bands come and go but mates is mates. [/quote] Which is why I've always thought being in bands with mates is a really bad idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 Depends on what your looking for in a band, friends, music, money? Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 [quote name='RhysP' timestamp='1465834966' post='3071414'] Which is why I've always thought being in bands with mates is a really bad idea. [/quote] Agreed, I'm in a band with really cool easy to get on with, but we're not friends. I think it's why we've been together for almost 11 years. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssentialTension Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 [quote name='blue' timestamp='1465835408' post='3071420'] Depends on what your looking for in a band, friends, music, money? Blue [/quote] ... and which of those are you looking for Blue? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 (edited) [quote name='EssentialTension' timestamp='1465835636' post='3071427'] ... and which of those are you looking for Blue? [/quote] I did a lot of research before I joined my current band 6 years ago. Because of the thought I put into my decision I'm still in the same band and not looking. When I was looking I had a couple of requirements, professional attitude, honest trustworthy adults and a they had to be established with a book of business. Blue Edited June 13, 2016 by blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EssentialTension Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 [quote name='hiram.k.hackenbacker' timestamp='1465838506' post='3071458'] Erm, I'm no mathematician.... [/quote] I think you underestimate yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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