Spouses, do they like or hate your instruments?

[BrunoBass]

My wife has no interest in music whatsoever, other than putting the ipod on shuffle in the car, and has difficulty understanding why I want / need more gear. It's less of an intolerance, more just something that doesn't compute with her. We've been together for twelve years, and while we have lots in common and many common interests, music isn't really one of them. Strange really I suppose, when it's such a massive part of my life, but there you go... I'd love it if she was more into what I do (my bandmate's girls are all superfans) but it is what it is.

Edited August 19, 2016 by PaulGibsonBass

[BrunoBass]

[quote name='planer' timestamp='1471591855' post='3114173']
I don't think my wife would even notice if I sold all my gear and it disappeared overnight.
[/quote]

I can relate. My wife wouldn't notice either, the fact that all my basses are black helps...

[ubit]

Mrs Ubit loves my collection and actively supports it. She knew I was in a band when we met, plus she grew up with musicians. Her two brothers are superb guitarists. Our home is very musical as its what we do mostly. The basses and electric guitars are all in our spare room which is the music room, but we have three acoustics permanently in the living room. We both think they look nice apart from being played often. I guess I'm lucky.

[ubit]

I forgot to say, she bought me a Gibson Les Paul bass for my birthday so she is the best. She likes my Spector Euro LX the best cos it's small. She asked me to show her something, so I showed her how to play the Schism intro. She is determined to master it even though she has small hands. I said let me show you something easier, but she was having none of it. She's great!

[NancyJohnson]

Indifference here. My amp is set up in the extension, generally with one bass in that general locale. The rest of the guitars are in a rack on our spare bedroom/computer room.

I think the general indifference started after I moved on a Bongo 5HH, to fund my first Thunderbird (of many). There's no way she'd tolerate hanging basses on the wall...I don't think I'd want to turn them into dust collectors.

[Dave Vader]

Mrs Vader is ok with all the instruments, she has filled the house with her art stuff (and various collections) anyway so I'm ok.

I did once proudly show off a fretless P bass I'd just finished building and was met with a 'haven't you had that one for ages?' and the converse when I was playing a telecaster I've had since before we even met 'is that another new guitar?' so it's pretty easy to get new ones past her.

[tauzero]

[quote name='bluejay' timestamp='1471535630' post='3113805']
Oooo that's a gap in the market someone could exploit!
[/quote]

Gallien-Krueger already make left-handed amps. Gets confusing when you're a right-hander setting up the tone controls.

[HengistPod]

Mine isn't too bad, until she counts my basses every so often and demands an explanation as to the necessity of them when they all look the same. For reasons of unidentifiable-as-a-new-one, I stick mostly to black and tend to rotate their public appearances.

The agreement now is that any new bass must be balanced by the sale of one. Fair enough, really, and she seems to have forgotten about all the ones up in the attic so I can't complain too much.

Basses and gear are tolerated in the upstairs bedroom, some under the bed, and as long as amps & cabs are neatly stacked in a corner and there are no more than two basses on display when we have visitors to stay she doesn't make too much fuss.

But she does hate me gigging. Seems to think that some wild rocker chick is going to take a shine and steal me away. Me. A bass player.

Edited August 19, 2016 by HengistPod

[Dood]

[quote name='planer' timestamp='1471591855' post='3114173']
I don't think my wife would even notice if I sold all my gear and it disappeared overnight.

She is 'actively disinterested', which results in me playing less and less.
[/quote]

Think my partner would be happy to see it all sold and for me to get 'a real job'. Which results in my playing less and less.

[bassbiscuits]

My missus is to pushchairs what I am to basses - she can name the make and model after a quick glance at 20 paces, and we've got more than we need.

So she's pretty chilled about my instruments - she likes me playing (except if she can't hear the telly or is trying to concentrate on something else)

Her parents taught music at their local school in Norfolk, and their house is cluttered with all sorts of instruments in cases, so she's never hassled me about them!

[Guest]

My OH is a cellist, and she doesn't really understand the "need" for multiple guitars as well as the amps and paraphernalia that goes along with electric instruments.

She tolerates them as long as they're neat and tidy. Once "man-corner" starts spreading itself across the lounge she gets a bit irate

[silverfoxnik]

A definite 'Yes' from Mrs Silverfoxnik as to whether (or not) she likes my basses, so I consider myself very lucky.

I think this is helped by the fact that she has a fairly large collection of cameras/photography kit, which she knows I like.

In fact, I actively encourage her to pursue her interest in photography because, like playing bass, it's important to have something that you really enjoy doing.

[zbd1960]

I live on my own... so problem solved. The instruments are all in the music room, and there's a ton of music in the study. I do keep them out of the lounge except if I'm practising with the PC and I want the sound through the hi-fi...

[paddy109]

There's a "one in one out" bass rule imposed in my house - at the moment I have two so the wife hates them! Once I am back to one bass she will love it ;-)

Strangely though I have a double bass parked in the corner of our lounge that I no longer play but she doesn't want me to sell this.

[James Nada]

My wife is in a folk band and plays bass on 50% of there set plus my eldest daughter is learning bass. So, no bass haters at casa Nada.
The only problem is that they can only play the short scale basses.

[Musicman20]

I'm quite surprised about how negative some of the reactions are.

I could never think of dating/seeing/living with someone/marrying someone who isn't interested in music. It's not just a hobby to me, it influences every single day of my life. That isn't just playing, it is buying vinyl, going to see live bands, researching bands, bass, guitar, etc....the whole lot.

I am not married, but we have been together for perhaps almost 9 years! We have no desire for children, only to work hard and enjoy ourselves as much as possible.

Luckily, she loves music, and she would never tell me to sell or move anything. I have a room with the gear in...it's not as bad as it was as two large cabs have gone. She also has use of the room as she has started playing bass again, and picked up a super cool Gibson SG Bass from Thomann which I gave a good check for her when it arrived.

Her main hobby is patisserie/exploring food and trying new recipes, and I 100% back her and encourage her to buy new books, equipment, etc.

No one should ever stop you doing something you love. Music is THE BEST stress reliever IMO, even beats running and exercise.

[Strikola]

There's a hole in the wall with wood in it.
Remove Wood...exit her...replaced wood..problem solved

[MoonBassAlpha]

"Yes, some of them are quite pretty"
She did set an arbitrary limit of 7 instruments, one for each day of the week, and I'm at 8, so not altogether happy. 5 are guitars, 3 basses, even though I haven't played guitar in a band for 14 years!

[ordep]

Mrs Ordep particularly likes my 4 string F bass, because it is purple with pinkish grains.

[AndyTravis]

My wife thinks I'm mad because I never keep hold of stuff...

She loves the gear, allocated me a room in the new house, encourages, supports, and actively presses me to play.

She 'hates' the fact I sold my Custom Shop 55 to Beedster...

She 'misses' a 1977 Precision bass I had...

She laughs when gear turns up..."more bloody scratchplates and thingies have come in the post..."

She comes to gigs, and tells me what she thinks.

I'm a lucky bloke, and I'll be dead honest - I wouldn't stick around if someone made me feel like I had to stop or reduce my playing/gear.

I had a partner who I met at a gig, she loved telling her mates that her fella was in a band. Didn't like twice weekly rehearsals and recording sessions or gigs in London.

I spent less time with her and it eventually became her opinion that I'd picked the band over her...I suppose I had.

[discreet]

[quote name='dood' timestamp='1471614382' post='3114477']
Think my partner would be happy to see it all sold and for me to get 'a real job'. Which results in my playing less and less.
[/quote]

You've got a real job - you're a bass player.

I'd been playing bass for a [i]long [/i]time before I met the current mrs discreet. She knows how I feel about bass playing, bands and basses and she is more than amenable. Having a home studio into which all my gear goes certainly helps a lot, though. I've also claimed the cupboard under the stairs for *cough* certain acquisitions *cough*.

But she is used to the constant stream of boxes arriving and being taken to the post office...

Edited August 24, 2016 by discreet

[project_c]

[quote name='machinehead' timestamp='1471519302' post='3113591']
My wife used to really enjoy my bass and 6 string guitar collection. But recently something has changed.

She seems to be no longer interested in my guitars or my bands and coming to gigs. She has started going out for nights without me. I've asked her who she's with and she just says "It's just some friends from work". When she comes home late at night she gets out of a taxi around the corner and walks the last 25 metres to our door.

The other day her phone rang and I went to hand it to her. She flipped at this and told me never to touch her phone! Sometimes the landline rings and when I answer it, the caller stays silent and hangs up. What's that about? She just seems so distant all the time now.

I'm at my wits end now and don't know what to do?

There's a lovely Fender custom shop Precision for sale on the forum just now.

Should I buy it, even though my wife seems to have lost interest in my bass collection?

Frank.
[/quote]

None of my business but it sounds a lot like you should consider taking the money you've saved for that Precision and take the 2 of you on a quick holiday instead. I know this is a bass forum and we should all encourage endless bass buying, but that story doesn't sound like it will end well.

[bonzodog]

[quote name='project_c' timestamp='1472081265' post='3118436']


None of my business but it sounds a lot like you should consider taking the money you've saved for that Precision and take the 2 of you on a quick holiday instead. I know this is a bass forum and we should all encourage endless bass buying, but that story doesn't sound like it will end well.
[/quote]

Think it was a joke judging by the punchline at the end 😃

[machinehead]

[quote name='bonzodog' timestamp='1472112627' post='3118532']
Think it was a joke judging by the punchline at the end
[/quote]



She never minds what I buy, complains if I sell something she likes, and comes to all my gigs. However, if she read my first post in this thread she'd probably throw all my bass gear out the window and cut up all my clothes.

Frank.

[Dood]

[quote name='Musicman20' timestamp='1471862484' post='3116389']
It's not just a hobby to me, it influences every single day of my life. That isn't just playing, it is buying vinyl, going to see live bands, researching bands, bass, guitar, etc....the whole lot.


{snip}
[color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]No one should ever stop you doing something you love. Music is THE BEST stress reliever IMO, even beats running and exercise.[/font][/color]
[/quote]


I just wanted to quote this, because that's me. Music, Guitars, Drums, Music Software, Electronics, Playing, Seeing people play, Learning Music, Teaching Music, Reviewing gear, Everything, EVERYTHING. I'm totally consumed by it and wanting to know more about it all. You are quite right, no one [i]should[/i] stop you from doing something you love. Especially when it's what you do to keep a roof over the heads of your family.