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Do you come from a musical family?


Grangur
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[quote name='BigRedX' timestamp='1475234057' post='3144229']
None of those really apply to my situation, or in a way bits of all of them do.

Let me explain - this might be quite a long post...
[/quote]
I know what it's like to lack support for just about everything. I was lucky that I developed an interest that fitted an idea my dad had. He liked the idea of a musical family, which is why he bought instruments, he also liked the idea of a family that had books. He filled the house with books, but never read them, and I got the piss taken out of me for reading a lot...

I was the first person in our family ever to go to college. Which he didn't like because I should have been going to work (though I had left school early and worked until the day I was officially supposed to leave school). He was far prouder of my brother who became quite an accomplished thief. My dad romanticised and was far too proud of his own nefarious background, including prison (well, he claimed to have gone to prison but I never knew whether to believe it or not), to ever have the kind of family he thought he wanted.

People think I am cold or odd because I don't put much stock in family for family sake.

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Dad was a pub pianist and Mum {both Scottish) had a great voice and often accompanied him. Dad got paid a few quid for playing etc. Around 40 years ago she was offered £200 a night to sing in some venue in Blackpool. She refused saying "Son, by the time I've had enough to drink to sing there, you won't be able to afford me". Often wondered why she wouldn't but I suspect she knew the constraints it would put on her family. Upmost respect for that lass for that! :)

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[quote name='KingBollock' timestamp='1475283727' post='3144801']

I know what it's like to lack support for just about everything. I was lucky that I developed an interest that fitted an idea my dad had. He liked the idea of a musical family, which is why he bought instruments, he also liked the idea of a family that had books. He filled the house with books, but never read them, and I got the piss taken out of me for reading a lot...

I was the first person in our family ever to go to college. Which he didn't like because I should have been going to work (though I had left school early and worked until the day I was officially supposed to leave school). He was far prouder of my brother who became quite an accomplished .

People think I am cold or odd because I don't put much stock in family for family sake.
[/quote]
No, I totally, totally get this

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I shall use the opportunity of this thread to discharge some bile for therapeutic effect (sorry if that's prompted an unpleasant visual image).
Any attempt at any form of creativity was met with: at best, "don't bother me know"; at worst, "you should stop that bloody rubbish and get out and play some football".
My elder brother (Trueno Major) has always twiddled with guitar and did encourage me in all kinds of ways. I have spent a lot of time since my mid-twenties playing different instruments, learning to read music, and picking up a lot of musical theory... I suppose there was no-one to discourage me then.
As some others have intimated here, family is no big deal for me... may sound weird to some, but that's the way it is.

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[quote name='Trueno' timestamp='1475318764' post='3144977']
I shall use the opportunity of this thread to discharge some bile for therapeutic effect (sorry if that's prompted an unpleasant visual image).
Any attempt at any form of creativity was met with: at best, "don't bother me know"; at worst, "you should stop that bloody rubbish and get out and play some football".
My elder brother (Trueno Major) has always twiddled with guitar and did encourage me in all kinds of ways. I have spent a lot of time since my mid-twenties playing different instruments, learning to read music, and picking up a lot of musical theory... I suppose there was no-one to discourage me then.
As some others have intimated here, family is no big deal for me... may sound weird to some, but that's the way it is.
[/quote]
You don't get the chance to choose your relatives and not all families are ideal. You're not alone.

After all, isn't playing football likely to be just a big a waste of time as a career strategy?

Edited by Grangur
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[quote name='Grangur' timestamp='1475319634' post='3144988']

You don't get the chance to choose your relatives and not all families are ideal. You're not alone.

After all, isn't playing football likely to be just a big a waste of time as a career strategy?
[/quote]

Well... I hate football, as it happens. It wasn't the football in particular, it was the fact that my dad wanted a son who was going to be a blokey bloke, rather than a weird kid who moped around the house doing all kinds of weird things.

The other side of the coin, which is another interesting side of this thread, is pushy parent syndrome. The aforementioned Trueno Major has proved to be a little pushy with his own progeny (imo). Happy medium, anyone?

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No musicians in my family, nearest we ever got to that was my dad's stereo, on which he played dreadful crap now and then. When I bought my first guitar from Woolworths, it was seen as a fad, when I came home with a borrowed bass I don't think they noticed the difference. Both long gone now, no one in my family ever saw me play. My daughters come to gigs when they are in the area, though.

Edited by FinnDave
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Neither of my parents are musicians, my brother dabbled in Guitar for a bit, still plays but not doing much with it.

Both parents (Mum more than Dad but Dad came around) have always been supportive. In Primary school my brother tried Euphonium, but never gelled with it, I used to steal it, and got a knack for it, switch to Trombone, and here I am 12+ years later still playing! Did piano for a bit to support that but teacher moved, and I never got another. Re-learning now.

Parents paid for lessons, and Mum (bless her she's wonderful) drove me to all my gigs no matter how scummy or how far away when I picked up bass at 14/15. My great grand parents apparently were musical, and my grandmother was, but never heard her touch an instrument in my life time.

Now I'm at University studying Music! (Composing being my main thing) Still supported by the family though the very valid "What do graduates with your degree usually do?" is cropping up now I'm over half way, hah!

Got 7 years of lessons on Trombone, am rather rusty now I focus on Composing sadly, so brushing up, but did my Grade 8, and all which made the parents (and me!) very happy. Though never learnt much theory, and such till University, and to be honest the Scottish Music qualifications in school are pretty pants.

Growing up with so much support was/is absolutely wonderful. A little jealous at times feeling "years behind" those with musical parents, who can play 75 instruments, sing, have great musical ears/pitch etc but hey, variations make things fun!

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[quote name='Trueno' timestamp='1475320386' post='3144995']
The other side of the coin, which is another interesting side of this thread, is pushy parent syndrome. The aforementioned Trueno Major has proved to be a little pushy with his own progeny (imo). Happy medium, anyone?
[/quote]

I did start to whitter on about my nephew but decided against it. But I will now. My little sister's son plays guitar and she (and her current husband, his stepfather) encourages him. My little brother's son plays guitar, flute, keyboards, and drums. My brother (and his wife) encourages this. They're not being pushy though, in both cases, just supportive (although now I've introduced them to open mic nights near where they live in Falmouth, my nephew might get encouraged to go to them).

My stepson, incidentally, has been encouraged but it's not a computer game so, despite there being guitars, basses, keyboards, and a violin in the house, he remains resolutely unproductive in a musical sense.

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My grandad told 12 year old me that my dad was disappointed I'd never picked up a guitar. I'd been brought up to enjoy music, and had lessons in violin, trumpet and piano at school. Naturally (perhaps especially because my dad had left a year or two previously) I wanted to get a guitar.

After long arguments with my mum, who wanted me to get a classical for reasons I still don't understand 23 years later, I finally got an Encore Strat and a 1Watt Marshall amp off a friend of mine.

Stepdad and mum though saw music and the pursuit of it as nothing more than a hobby - as valuable as video games - and let me know. So I ended up in rubbish job after rubbish job, denying myself anything more than a non-serious role in various pub bands.

Thankfully my situation has changed significantly in the last couple of years, and now I find myself leading a band with a few half decent songs, and real talk about getting it out there.

So yeah anyway there was some clear musical influence in my family but only from one angle. Most people just don't see music as a serious pursuit.

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We had lots of classical music on a reasonable quality mono record player, and I got taken to lots of classical concerts from an early age, which I did enjoy. But neither parent ever dreamed of touching an instrument - playing music was something professionals did while one listened respectfully. I was given violin lessons for several years around age 8-9-10 but never really got on with it, possibly because they would nag me to practice and then tease me about the awful noise. Still makes no sense to me. When I started taking an interest in "pop" music (Eric Burdon and the Animals, then the Byrds) my mother was horrified, and assured me definitively that I could never be any good as a musician - any more than I could sprout wings and fly to the moon - and I shouldn't even think about it.

To be fair, they were brilliant at encouraging and supporting me in things they could identify with - mostly academic - through to getting a PhD and a job as a university lecturer. I think they genuinely believed I couldn't do music or sport, and were trying to be kind to me by discouraging me from trying. My mother still can't get her head around the fact that I ran the London Marathon in 1997 (just under 5 hours, respectable) and I shudder to think how she would react if I told her I'm now playing blues on bass.

Mr Josie #1 and I brought our boys up with a piano in the house (he could sort of play a bit) and in a top-flight church choir - they were comfortable singing live Radio 3 broadcasts by the age of 10 - with music in their lives as something they did themselves, as best we could without being musicians ourselves. I'm proud that now in their 30s they both love playing (older son has moved on from full-scale church organ to keyboards and guitar, younger is a fine drummer and now learning bass). My four grandchildren (age 1 - 5) are growing up with instruments lying around the house which they are encouraged to "play", although so far only one is showing a serious interest.

My blood runs cold any time I hear anyone tell a child that he or she "can't" do anything (meaning "will never be able to"). Never slam a door in a child's face. I try not to think about the 45 years of bass playing I lost, and just to be grateful for the two years I've had.

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[quote]
I was sent to music lessons on guitar where I learned to read. The theory has been very useful (I don't know how people get by without knowing some theory) but I haven't read the dots for years.

Frank.
[/quote]
What you find is that in a lot of cases people who say they don't know theory do know it by ear and can hear it but just don't know how to express it verbally

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Grandad was apparently a whizz on piano, although I sadly never met him.

Parents don't play anything but have introduced me to some decent (and some awful) music over the years.

My sister was always the musical one growing up, got pretty good on flute and dabbled with cello for a while. She stopped and doesn't play anything now, I'm really the odd one out as I don't think even the aunts/uncles/cousins play any instruments.

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Nah. My Dad could knock a tune out on the accordion and my Mum and sister could both hold a tune, but no musicians. I was the 60s black sheep. Always tapping on things, playing drums on pots and pans. First guitar at 15, first gig 6 months later. No lessons, thats cheating. Marriage sabbatical from music for a few years. First drum kit aged 28, first gig 3 months later, all self taught. Still play the drums but Bass is my instrument now.

My younger brother can play Bass, Drums, Guitar and keys, all to a high standard. All self taught so he is following the family tradition, so in that respect I digress, I do come from a musical family. If only he would flog me his Status bass.

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My mum used to play piano and organ in church when she was little, and my dad has always been a frustrated drummer who never learned to play but has always loved his music.

They divorced when me and my bro were 12 and 15, at the same time as me and my brother were discovering music thru an older family friend in a band (which fascinated us at the time!).

Me and my brother began learning to play a few weeks after my mum left, and it sort of became the focus of all our energy/frustration/dreams from then on (him on guitar, me on bass). That was 30 years ago.

My dad helped us buy our first gear, and we paid him back each week from doing our paper rounds for years and years!

He still loves coming to see my brother or me play whenever he visits and we're gigging, tho my mum never took any interest in our music really up till the time she died earlier this year.

Not sure what a psychologist would make of that, but there you go!

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I only found out after my dad died (I was 50) that he had played tenor horn in bands. He showed no interest or encouragement to me. My gran taught me some basics of piano playing. I was 33 before I started doing any music stuff (that's when I started having lessons). When I started performing in concerts etc my dad was never very interested, very odd.

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