JimBobTTD Posted November 6, 2016 Share Posted November 6, 2016 I am in a pickle. After my blues band collapsed in style in January, it took me months before I felt able to go through the rigmarole of playing with others again. I was playing with exceptionally talented musicians, but the two guitarists and the keys/vocals had terrible egos. The drummer and I realised that we had been relegated to being a backing track so the other three could solo. Each practice was a nightmare and I dreaded them. The drummer had a mental breakdown and left. I left too. The others continued, and now play with a backing track generated on the keyboard. It actually sounds ok, but enough about that. I joined a newly started band. We have now had two practice sessions and I am not sure this is a good idea. The bad: - They are all inexperienced - [i]really[/i] inexperienced. I am head and shoulders above the others, talent-wise. The ages of the others range from early 20s to mid 40s, so not teenagers, but they are all relatively new to their instruments. The good: - It is fun to play with them, although some of the songs are not to my liking - The practice time suits me and it means that I do not need to do all that much homework (which is good, as I have very little spare time) The thing is that I am not a particularly gifted musician. I have always been, I feel, the weakest member of every band. This has meant that I have had to learn an awful lot and I have developed tremendously as a player with each band I have been in. With this band, I feel that I am not going to be developing much. Of course, I could use this as an opportunity to take my fretless out and work on that. What do the good people of this parish think? Look for another band which is a bit more skilled, or stay in this one and see how it develops? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Jack Posted November 6, 2016 Share Posted November 6, 2016 Give it time - unless there's a subtext you haven't shared, then there's no great hurry is there? If they're nice guys and you're enjoying yourself, keep it going. Don't forget that there is actually NO LAW against being in more than one band at the same time! Enjoy ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dad3353 Posted November 6, 2016 Share Posted November 6, 2016 [quote name='JimBobTTD' timestamp='1478457865' post='3169164']... What do the good people of this parish think?... [/quote] Keep your eyes peeled for another adventure; meanwhile hone your teaching skills on your current band-mates..? You've learned a lot from playing with 'better' players; maybe you can help them in turn a little..? If another opportunity presents itself there'll be time enough to decide how to play that choice. Either way: enjoy..! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTUK Posted November 6, 2016 Share Posted November 6, 2016 If it is a waste of time, it is a waste of time. If you have little regard for them as musicians, then that doesn't change overnight..and therefore it is forever a waste of time. Move on...................... But............... what do you get out of it? If it is something that keeps you playing...because you don't have that driver or motivation elsewhere, then you could convince yourself to stay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dad3353 Posted November 6, 2016 Share Posted November 6, 2016 [quote name='JTUK' timestamp='1478461211' post='3169198'] If it is a waste of time, it is a waste of time... [/quote] Just as well the members of previous bands did not have this same outlook, though. How will 'lesser' players ever improve if they're not given the opportunity, at least, of contact with more experienced folks..? It doesn't always work, I'll grant, but in many cases an experienced player can 'up the game' of his/her colleagues. Every situation is different, of course. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gjones Posted November 6, 2016 Share Posted November 6, 2016 There is a certain age, beyond which, it is embarrassing to play, in public, in a dodgy band. Find a better band, with better musicians. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stingrayPete1977 Posted November 6, 2016 Share Posted November 6, 2016 [quote name='gjones' timestamp='1478463086' post='3169229'] There is a certain age, beyond which, it is embarrassing to play, in public, in a dodgy band. Find a better band, with better musicians. [/quote] I've felt like this and I'm nearing that age, the trouble is I think it might be me that makes the bands dodgy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimBobTTD Posted November 6, 2016 Author Share Posted November 6, 2016 [quote name='gjones' timestamp='1478463086' post='3169229'] There is a certain age, beyond which, it is embarrassing to play, in public, in a dodgy band. [/quote] I have experienced this and it was horrendous; we had a drummer who could not really play. The worst part was that the next band - who were all beginners - sounded so much better than us because they had a drummer who could play. Thanks for sharing your opinions, people, and please continue to do so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trueno Posted November 6, 2016 Share Posted November 6, 2016 [quote name='gjones' timestamp='1478463086' post='3169229'] There is a certain age, beyond which, it is embarrassing to play, in public, in a dodgy band. Find a better band, with better musicians. [/quote] Absolutely this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ribbetingfrog Posted November 6, 2016 Share Posted November 6, 2016 all down to what you want in life. If you want to enjoy your time, stay. If you enjoy getting better quickly, move on. I started a band with a few older but inexperienced people, we've all come a long way and enjoyed the journey. As long as you enjoy the rehersals and they practice and improve you'd be mad to leave IMHO. There has been times i've thought people were not good enough, but any time any issues were mentioned, they've always practiced to rectify it. Finding good people to spend time with is a lot more important than finding someone who can play. It's definitely easier to get decent folk to learn to play better than it is to get talented idiots to become better people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveFry Posted November 6, 2016 Share Posted November 6, 2016 Work on the fretless ( provided the guitar(s) are in tune , of course ). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damonjames Posted November 6, 2016 Share Posted November 6, 2016 There is a saying: "If you find yourself to be the smartest man in the room, it's time to find another room". Having said that, I would echo a previous post, sometimes being a musician means taking the lead and teaching, and passing on what has been taught to you. It's up to you if want to be a teacher, or be challenged. If it's fun, why the rush? You have already said that you could spend the time to hone your fretless skills, sounds to me like it could be a great opportunity in the short term, just keep your eyes open!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cato Posted November 6, 2016 Share Posted November 6, 2016 [quote name='JimBobTTD' timestamp='1478457865' post='3169164'] The good: - It is fun to play with them [/quote] What more can you ask for? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martin8708 Posted November 6, 2016 Share Posted November 6, 2016 I have been in the exact same situation , playing in bands with a high level of musicianship really does up your game if you are only a weekend warrior . I was " in between bands " a few years ago and hooked up with some guys who wanted to play a short gig at the Vintage Motorcyle Club Christmas bash (of which they were members ) . I would say that they had an interesting style of playing, but rehearsals were such a laugh and laid back , it was a real treat to get out on Wednesday evening to plug in your amp ,bash out some tunes,chat about bikes and generally take the mick out of the drummer. I knew it was never going to be a serious gigging band ,but I took it for what it was and had a great time, made some friends, had a laugh , and when then band had run its course , we still stayed mates . I love playing with top drawer musicians ,but sometimes that opportunity does not always present itself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alyctes Posted November 6, 2016 Share Posted November 6, 2016 [quote name='JimBobTTD' timestamp='1478457865' post='3169164'] ... The thing is that I am not a particularly gifted musician. I have always been, I feel, the weakest member of every band. This has meant that I have had to learn an awful lot and I have developed tremendously as a player with each band I have been in. With this band, I feel that I am not going to be developing much. Of course, I could use this as an opportunity to take my fretless out and work on that. What do the good people of this parish think? Look for another band which is a bit more skilled, or stay in this one and see how it develops? [/quote] It sounds as if you're in danger of becoming the bandleader - you're the guy with the experience, after all. So, perhaps it's how you want it to develop? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norris Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 It's all down to how much the others want to improve. Every musician has room for improvement. Enthusiasm and a lack of ego can go a long way. And as someone mentioned, you can be in more than one band Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Les Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 You already know that this isn't for you in the long term. Untill something else comes along pass on your experience and fuel their enthusiasm. See what you can build, and when the time comes for you to move on if you've left them a better band for the new bass player to join I think you'll have done a worthwhile thing. Good luck Les Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fleabag Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 I had a similar scenario when i met a rhyth guitarist who, after few chats and and some weeks had gone by, suddenly asked me to join his band cos the bass man had moved to the wilds of Dorset I did, and after a few rehearsals, i knew they weren't for me. I'm no Karn or Jones but the lead guitarist was pants. He did this kinda shredding ' look at how fast i can play ' over just about every track, whether it needed it or not. I used to wince inside every time. The drummer never, i mean never used his hi-hats. They were permanently closed. And he was a shed builder that couldnt keep time. The singer thought he was special but was the exact opposite. I quit. There was no way i was going to gig with this motly crew. So instead of wasting their time and mine, i did the decent thing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 [quote name='JimBobTTD' timestamp='1478457865' post='3169164'] I am in a pickle. After my blues band collapsed in style in January, it took me months before I felt able to go through the rigmarole of playing with others again. I was playing with exceptionally talented musicians, but the two guitarists and the keys/vocals had terrible egos. The drummer and I realised that we had been relegated to being a backing track so the other three could solo. Each practice was a nightmare and I dreaded them. The drummer had a mental breakdown and left. I left too. The others continued, and now play with a backing track generated on the keyboard. It actually sounds ok, but enough about that. I joined a newly started band. We have now had two practice sessions and I am not sure this is a good idea. The bad: - They are all inexperienced - [i]really[/i] inexperienced. I am head and shoulders above the others, talent-wise. The ages of the others range from early 20s to mid 40s, so not teenagers, but they are all relatively new to their instruments. The good: - It is fun to play with them, although some of the songs are not to my liking - The practice time suits me and it means that I do not need to do all that much homework (which is good, as I have very little spare time) The thing is that I am not a particularly gifted musician. I have always been, I feel, the weakest member of every band. This has meant that I have had to learn an awful lot and I have developed tremendously as a player with each band I have been in. With this band, I feel that I am not going to be developing much. Of course, I could use this as an opportunity to take my fretless out and work on that. What do the good people of this parish think? Look for another band which is a bit more skilled, or stay in this one and see how it develops? [/quote] Ok, they're fun to play with. The real question you might ask yourself is; "What am I looking for in a band?" If it's merely guys that are fun to play with, this might be a match for you and you should stay. If there are other things that you require in a band keep looking. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockfordStone Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 if you are asking us, you already know. if you are having fun then stick them out whilst looking for something more fulfilling. there is nothing wrong like feeling you are the least talented in the band, it drives you to get better. unless they are no hopers, you can be that guy they aspire to be and guide them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassjim Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 If you are head and shoulders above them all talent wise and have experience as a seasoned gigger: Do they acknowledge this? Would they be prepared to allow you the MD seat? Would you want the MD seat? In these situations in the past, before I know whats going on, I've just taken up this position out of an inbuilt urge born of frustration to lead the way. People get a "why are you telling me what to do?" vibe quickly because it hasn't been discussed before. " Because you are sh*t" is the answer, or words to that effect put in a much more diplomatic way. So..... If it can be, establish before you enter into any band bonding that you are MD and in charge of rehearsals, telling em' what needs to be done as homework and whats to be expected at the following rehearsals, and that this is the deal. There will come a point when if all goes according to plan and if they (the new band) are up for it and enthusiastic the need to MD will become less and less. You end up with a good band. You are not there for the good of your health so tell em' this is how it needs to work if you are on board. You have nothing to lose either way. Once its agreed you are in charge no one gets the hump. Best outcome = great new band thats hungry for it and it will be a good year or two at least before the egos and apathy set in. (maybe even longer than that. Remember one of them has a guitar) Worst case= No matter how much work they put in they are hopeless. And/Or.. You find you are not suited to MDing. All goes in the "my little book of experience". Win win. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcnach Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 [quote name='Happy Jack' timestamp='1478459929' post='3169184'] Give it time - unless there's a subtext you haven't shared, then there's no great hurry is there? If they're nice guys and you're enjoying yourself, keep it going. Don't forget that there is actually NO LAW against being in more than one band at the same time! Enjoy ... [/quote] This. I'd be looking for something else, as this does not seem like a good long term fit. But you don't know how long it'll take and meanwhile you have a group of people you enjoy playing with, so keep that going. You may not even need to quit once/if you find a more suitable band. Many people, myself included, find time to be in more than one band, especially if one of them is not very demanding of your time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barking Spiders Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 In my time I've been in many bands with good players I didn't like, including some gifted guitarists who were utter bellends, and a few with a good bunch of blokes who were at best moderate players. I'd rather be with the latter type any day of the week. When performing you can always make up for what you may lack in proficiency with stage presence and being fun. So, if these guys are good to be around stay with them and work with them improving as players Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martthebass Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 [quote name='stingrayPete1977' timestamp='1478463499' post='3169234'] I've felt like this and I'm nearing that age, the trouble is I think it might be me that makes the bands dodgy! [/quote] I wish there was a like button for this sort of post lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTUK Posted November 7, 2016 Share Posted November 7, 2016 [quote name='Barking Spiders' timestamp='1478520966' post='3169545'] In my time I've been in many bands with good players I didn't like, including some gifted guitarists who were utter bellends, and a few with a good bunch of blokes who were at best moderate players. I'd rather be with the latter type any day of the week. When performing you can always make up for what you may lack in proficiency with stage presence and being fun. So, if these guys are good to be around stay with them and work with them improving as players [/quote] Yes and no, IMO. Talent..and there are of course, varying levels of this, is something you can't do anything about. They have it or they don't....and even if they could up their game through hard work or diligence, why haven't they done this already..? Talent and being a bell-end doesn't get you anywhere and so they wouldn't get the work. You can have a few little things that need' adjustment' but basically you have to be able to do what you say you will do..or agree to do. Being a total bell-end is a killer So, for me, the music is the key...and then work down from that. Never be in bands with your mates unless they became your mates from a good band, IME. Guys I grew up with are not the guys I play with now. All the top guys around here you can work with..they wouldn't be top guys otherwise. And none of them have an unstoppable ego as they know there is always someone they will come across who is better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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