Phil Starr Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 [quote name='stingrayPete1977' timestamp='1478463499' post='3169234'] I've felt like this and I'm nearing that age, the trouble is I think it might be me that makes the bands dodgy! [/quote] Love it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Starr Posted November 22, 2016 Share Posted November 22, 2016 [quote name='Happy Jack' timestamp='1478459929' post='3169184'] Give it time - unless there's a subtext you haven't shared, then there's no great hurry is there? If they're nice guys and you're enjoying yourself, keep it going. Don't forget that there is actually NO LAW against being in more than one band at the same time! Enjoy ... [/quote] I thought this was the right advice straight from the start. The fact that the guitarist obviously is prepared to work hard is a plus and them being nice guys a bonus too. I've never entirely enjoyed the music chosen by the rest of a covers band but if you play with others then 25% of the songs being 'you' is about par for the course. I've been out in the wilderness for the best part of a year, never again. Don't put out your dirty underwear until you have clean. the people are fun and the music undemanding, it isn't stopping you looking for a gigging band and you only need to make a decision once you have a clash. If you are bored stupid after a few more rehearsals then decide to leave. There's no rush. FWIW I joined just such a band three weeks ago, wished I'd done it earlier. This weekend I auditioned for a gigging band and I'm not sure I'd have got through the audition without the match fitness playing with the other guys gave me. Now I have a gigging band to work at and a fun band for fun. One day a week learning songs for one and six for the serious band, that's given me some impetus. If one band collapses then I still have places to go and if the fun band improves, and it is already, it might become my gigging band. I'm vowing never to have a single project again. I hope it isn't selfish, I'll never miss a practice, turn up unprepared or let anyone down for a gig and they can't do it without a bassist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uk_lefty Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 Suppose it depends what this band is building for? If they have a series of gigs you are all working towards then to drop out would be a bit crappy, but if they're just trying to get going as a band and you enjoy it and can develop your fretless playing then keep going! At worst then if it comes together but isn't for you another bassist can fill the void as they work towards planning gigs and you can be someone that shares their Facebook event notices and things as a supporter.just make it clear to them what you want to do and what your thought process is, then nobody can get upset if you leave and they can be excited if you stay! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Steve Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 (edited) Bit like gambling (apparently) - when the fun stops, stop If this lot don't fulfil your ambitions, then, as others have said, you can always start/join another band and play in both - it's not an all or nothing decision. I know very few musicians, even to semi-pro levels, who aren't in two or three bands. By the sounds of it, you are finding out this lot's limits. My experience is that a band can only carry an under-performer for so long without it starting to grate - I've put up with less talented band members because they were great mates who were really trying hard but not quite getting there, and talented @sshats who needed a punch...and that's when the fun started draining out of it and I looked forward to the weeks when we couldn't practice. That's usually the cue to a sacking or a resignation. But I've also been in bands with musicians who were objectively less talented than the rest of us but who were more or less good enough, tried hard because they knew they had to, and were excellent blokes, and I'd have them back any time. I'd suggest a trip to the pub to discuss what everybody wants to get out of it. Do they know they need to try and improve because they want to get out and play some gigs, or are they happy to go to rehearsals once a fortnight so that they can tell everybody that they're "in a band"? Edited November 23, 2016 by Monkey Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raynards Posted December 8, 2016 Share Posted December 8, 2016 I didnt start playing bass until i was 48, i played a bit if fingerstyle acoustic. I started it because it was something i always wanted to do, i played live after just turning 51 in a 4 piece pop covers band. After the first rehearsal the lead guitarist and drummer were unsure due to the fact i had never been in a band environment but the rhythm player/singer stuck up for me and i was in, one of the best experiences of my life. i went on after that to another band which didnt last long and now im in a classic band playing with very experienced musicians and my first 3 piece, done 50 gigs with them and got 23 going into next year. The point being, i worked very hard to up my level and the better musicians noticed that and took the time with me to build on it. I would always help lesser musicians if i could, as long as they wanted it. If they are all decent guys who put effort in, why not give it a go and keep your eyes open, it could be you thats gives some of them a break. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazzbass Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 the older I get, the more I realise life's too short to waste on things that aren't FUN for you. If you enjoy hanging with these guys,and the music is fun, then stick it out for a while. If something better comes along, then you have a decision to make. My current band has two of the other three from my first band from 1982 ! The third member died in 2002, but his kid brother has filled his shoes. The music is too 'gentle' for my tastes, I'm into Rush, Yes and Led Zep, BUT I love these guys, it's fun to hang with them, AND I convinced them to go electric and it might just get more interesting, rockier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimBobTTD Posted December 9, 2016 Author Share Posted December 9, 2016 It is all fair and well telling about how you, as a newbie, were fortunate enough to be taken in by a more experienced group and then you flourished; this is not the case I am facing. I would argue to accept a newbie who showed determination and promise to join. I am in the opposite version of this. One experienced person and four inexperienced. Nonetheless, posts about whether it is fun or not have more of a ring to them. Since starting the thread, the drummer has left and been replaced by one much better. The lead guitarist has improved a lot. The singer still has not learnt the songs. The rhythm guitarist is still hammering out chords, mostly correctly. As a band, we are improving greatly, but... It is fun and I am not exactly putting myself in a world of trouble by taking two hours of my Sunday to play fretless with them. I'll stick it out until something better comes along. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrackerJackLee Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 (edited) [quote name='JimBobTTD' timestamp='1478457865' post='3169164']...it took me months before I felt able to...playing with others again...I joined a newly started band...They are all [i]really[/i] inexperienced...I am head and shoulders above the others...they are all relatively new to their instruments...some of the songs are not to my liking...I feel that I am not going to be developing much...I could use this as an opportunity to take my fretless out and work on that...Look for another band which is a bit more skilled, or stay in this one and see how it develops?[/quote] Thankfully, you escaped the tyranny of the guitards without too much burnout. But you must seek your equals or at least be challenged by the project you're in. The songs you dislike, now? You will truly hate them later. You are contemplating a sideline project on your fretless as if reading the Wall Street Journal in a rural bus terminal. If you hang out with them until you find skilled musicians, is it fair to them? They could be working on a venture with someone of their caliber who will remain with them and they will be much further ahead than when you cast them aside for a project that is more suited to your experience. Take the time off to wood-shed, decide upon your goals, network and meet/find musicians that are in first class, like you. Let the people in steerage do what they do. They need a BP who feels lucky and privileged to be a part of their band. You are not a villain, but you have been damaged by users. Don't fall into their trap. The sooner you leave these fellows, the better it will be for all. You will leave, anyway. Dr. Phil Edited December 9, 2016 by CrackerJackLee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrackerJackLee Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 (edited) [quote post='3169184']Don't forget that there is actually NO LAW against being in more than one band at the same time![/quote] This is legally true, but it's painfully obvious that jobbers are temporary people who simply use others for their sole benefit. They don't even call their bands "bands". They refer to them as "projects". How impersonal is that? Why should honest people waste their time with someone who's in other bands? Why should you live with schedule conflicts? And when you get opportunities, will they move along with you? And when he finds a gig, which of his bands will he hire? And all that studio rent goes down the drain when they depart with the best band for them. And you're left struggling to replace them. A musician who is in multiple bands is like a pariah. Like non-cowboys who wear cowboy boots. Cross the street when they walk towards you. On a personal level, most of us have to work jobs for a boss and with people who probably don't really like us. When I join a band, I expect loyalty and camaraderie (the mutual trust and friendship among people who spend a lot of time together) f[url="https://www.google.ca/search?newwindow=1&q=define+friendship&forcedict=friendship&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiP17rZyObQAhVB-2MKHSwxBiMQ_SoIHzAA"][color="#1a0dab"]riendship[/color][/url], [url="https://www.google.ca/search?newwindow=1&q=define+comradeship&forcedict=comradeship&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiP17rZyObQAhVB-2MKHSwxBiMQ_SoIIDAA"][color="#1a0dab"]comradeship[/color][/url], [url="https://www.google.ca/search?newwindow=1&q=define+fellowship&forcedict=fellowship&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiP17rZyObQAhVB-2MKHSwxBiMQ_SoIITAA"][color="#1a0dab"]fellowship[/color][/url], [url="https://www.google.ca/search?newwindow=1&q=define+fraternity&forcedict=fraternity&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiP17rZyObQAhVB-2MKHSwxBiMQ_SoIIzAA"][color="#1a0dab"]fraternity[/color][/url], [url="https://www.google.ca/search?newwindow=1&q=define+conviviality&forcedict=conviviality&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiP17rZyObQAhVB-2MKHSwxBiMQ_SoIJDAA"][color="#1a0dab"]conviviality[/color][/url] [url="https://www.google.ca/search?newwindow=1&q=define+team+spirit&forcedict=team+spirit&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiP17rZyObQAhVB-2MKHSwxBiMQ_SoIJjAA"][color="#1a0dab"]team spirit[/color][/url], [url="https://www.google.ca/search?newwindow=1&q=define+esprit+de+corps&forcedict=esprit+de+corps&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiP17rZyObQAhVB-2MKHSwxBiMQ_SoIJzAA"][color="#1a0dab"]esprit de corps[/color][/url]; I expect to go to their funerals and they come to mine. Otherwise, forget it. Why waste your life with jobbers? Replace them with a real band member... Edited December 9, 2016 by CrackerJackLee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gapiro Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 I have a similar quandary - I'm in a band with some great musicians who are great friends, we have great fun rehearsing but never gig. This is because we are all in very busy working bands separately and mo one has the time to take the lead on bookings. We enjoy it and I don't mind the 5 quid and two hours every couple of weeks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Low End Bee Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 Perversely I'm thinking that I might quite like to be in a band of awkward ****ers who just say what they think and only really concentrate on the music. Work hard, have a bit of a shout up and not worry about tea and biscuits. Have a bit of an edge to the band. Maybe it's because I'm a bit of an awkward sod myself? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Steve Posted December 9, 2016 Share Posted December 9, 2016 [quote name='Low End Bee' timestamp='1481281272' post='3191141'] Perversely I'm thinking that I might quite like to be in a band of awkward ****ers who just say what they think and only really concentrate on the music. Work hard, have a bit of a shout up and not worry about tea and biscuits. Have a bit of an edge to the band. Maybe it's because I'm a bit of an awkward sod myself? [/quote] My last band was like that and it can be quite refreshing - nobody was whispering behind anybody's backs or going home in sulks or never quite properly learning the songs that they didn't like to keep it out of the set, instead we told each other what we thought about the songs, the playing, the arrangements, etc, quite often using industrial language. It helped that we were reasonably good mates who understood that what happened in the studio stayed in the studio and even big disagreements should not influence our drinking plans for the rest of the night. But it can get tiring - over time the stronger personalities tended to emerge and that becomes quite grating when some people just flat refuse to compromise regardless of what everybody else thinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted December 11, 2016 Share Posted December 11, 2016 The only time I see or have any level of communication withmy band members is at gigs. I think it's why the band is still together after 11 years. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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