alembic1989 Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 A friend found this advert on Facebook!! I'll leave it with you. I'm too old to apply!! 😂😂 : SEEKING SEX-SYMBOL TYPE BASSIST!!hey!!! whats up? im gonna say this once and once only..and if your not into this .. than dont email us, if our ideas make you wanna throw up... find ANOTHER ADD...,if our great image..and looks...bother you...than go off and find another wanna be korn or slayer band where big fat greasy hairy dudes are more than welcome..but admired. . were looking for musicians young only 19-23 etc.. not 35+year olds thinking were some gig for hire..and we hand out slaries.....save that kinda sh-t for bands that play cover songs that are constantly looking for work.,. were all orginal...were working with the biggest names in the CURRENT music industry. we have been talking to plenty of music directors at major stations ...we're new band we havent played live TOGETHER yet... were writting... and we'll record in december.. the BIGGEST people want to help us they just wanna hear an album. Weve allready begun to cuase alot of controversy..and everyones like who the f-ck are tyhese guys,(we'll let you know what were talking about...but just to aviod legal stuff for now...trust me its quite interesting!!) and yes we plan on being different than the grungy rock of the 90's and y2k..they all look the the guys that pump your gas everyday. were a band with style, and class..and all about being rocks #1 party band.... not another wanna be korn band .. or a rap/rock act jumping on to the bandwagon to cash in on a current music trend. were all about being pioneers. and right now is a great time..cuase right now music is over 4 basic things your rather a boy band , a rap act, a wanna be korn band , and anything else is playing in coffee shops playing horrible music..or covers..trying to make money ..but hey if thats what makes them hapy fine. were all about takeing over everything right now, we basically are looking to be like what howard stern is to radio. and Its working with us allready. guys hate us ..cuase we look so good.. which is exactly what im looking for ..cuase that just meens the chicks will like us that much more. we'd rather have a majority of chicks in the audiece that wanna f-ck and party ..rather than a bunch of guys moshing and ending up in an ambulance... like all the metal..rap/rock..and wanna be kor bands have. im not saying were an 80's band. were not dressing like that or haveing hair spray puffy big hair. its that all rock is so dark and aggressive now..the image sucks .and we all seem to wonder why rock has died out in the 90's opposed to the 80's and before then. if you would love to be rocks #1 party band , rocks most sex band, rocks most hated and loved band ...and you welcome controversy.... shock.... and flaunting something very different in peoples faces ..then your the bassist were looking for. we'll fly you out in december to record with us...and we'll take it from there..youd have to drop everything your doing. this is not a JOB type thing...its about being a 100% ambitious musicians...and its not ONLY about musicianship to us ...we didnt grow up listening to bach...you know..its about being rock stars all the way...and thats what we'll be.. whether people like it or not ..people are going to majorly react to us.(just like everyone else in the group... what you put in is what you get out of it). were greared more towards females id have to say...and were young so WE CAN Do that ..,chicks have to turn to dance clubs and rap shows r and b and sh-t ..so..its perfect timeing for us to do something thats not happeneing in rock right now.PARTY ANTHEM ROCK !! ya know! ... everyone lock up your duaghters !!! no-ones safe!! its gonna be a party mahem. and by the way we are managed..and keep stupid comments to yourself cuase we get alot of email from frustrated,envious,confused,old out of work type musicians. Heres the deal.... you have to send your press package...or your bio(with contact info), pictures.. old new whatever(remember were going for a sex-symbol look), send your demo's of any past bands.... any writting youve done, and all those are required..a video would be a plus. DEMOS BIO PICTURES ....a video would be a plus. let us know if youv happen to play piano or anything else(just for future use ..of possible useing it in a balad down the road). bands we like(although were really young)! Poison Aerosmith motley crue guns n roses cinderella and some newer stuff like..... lenny cravitz stp email us.... , if we see the attitude we'll just erase the Sh-t..we hate mail of old people who didnt make it talking to us like thei our father ..like we can learn from them cuase theyve played in small venues where anyone with a pulse can book.we dont need that in the band! if we like you and you sound like the party animal, rocking bassist,sex-symbol,and have some brains in your head.. then email us we'll give you the address to send it to. ps..were very nbew...we have some huge controversy comeing up. and we have over 2,800,000 hits to our website and a world wide fanbase-street team of over 87,000 --------------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 Ooh. Is it McFly? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hubrad Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 Good luck to them, and i'm not their target bass player anyway, but I gave up less than 1/3 of the way in. It was too much like one of those Facebook posts preceded by 'If you can understand this you're in the top 2% intelligence' statements. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpondonBassed Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 Yawn. Sorry I couldn't get past the first sentence, if you can even call it that. More of a rant than an advert. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raymondo Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 Fortunately to make it BIG in the music industry you do not have to be able to spell correctly.( Or many other words it would seem ) Good luck to them, I hope they do well; I hope that one day ,they look back at this advert and laugh.....at themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevvo66 Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 (edited) Hope they can play better than their appalling use of Grammer,grammar sorry about that Edited December 28, 2016 by kevvo66 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SICbass Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 (edited) Yuwall jus don understand cuase yuwall haiders. Edited December 27, 2016 by SICbass Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LayDownThaFunk Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 Really don't like Korn do they? They're still doing alright for themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 Hyper-enthusiastic, fun and colourful 'Party Anthem' band designed to pull the chickies and make some money. What's not to like? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T-Bay Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 [quote name='LayDownThaFunk' timestamp='1482861469' post='3203131'] Really don't like Korn do they? They're still doing alright for themselves. [/quote] But they like Poison, oh the irony. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fleabag Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 I managed 12 seconds ...ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpondonBassed Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 [quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1482861888' post='3203140'] Hyper-enthusiastic, fun and colourful 'Party Anthem' band designed to pull the chickies and make some money. What's not to like? [/quote] Oh okay. Putting it like that it seems fair enough. [sniggers imperceptibly] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozz196 Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 Very 80s sounding to me - I`d have liked it back then, but now think they just sound rather dated in their attitudes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maude Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 [quote name='kevvo66' timestamp='1482860118' post='3203117'] Hope they can play better than their appalling use of Grammer [/quote] Terrible, isn't it? Oh, and I think you meant grammar. Good luck to them I say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGreek Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 They can clearly Talk the talk, just hope that they can walk the walk... I'd like to hear what they're doing - link to their website?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 [quote name='Maude' timestamp='1482864800' post='3203173'] Terrible, isn't it? Oh, and I think you meant grammar. [/quote] [quote name='Maude' timestamp='1482864800' post='3203173']Good luck to them I say. [/quote] Indeed so. The wild enthusiasm of youth has long fled my barren, twisted existence but I applaud the quality in those for whom it was designed. In any event, ripping on young peoples' hyperbolic band ads is like shooting fish in a barrel. The true hunter scorns such easy prey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stingrayPete1977 Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 I don't qualify on any level, thank f*** I suspect I'll be playing more gigs than them next year too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lojo Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 Didn't make it past a few sentences , doubt their target player will either Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Dare Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 Got to be a spoof. If you apply, you'll probably end up on You've Been Framed (or whatever the current equivalent is). Lenny Kravitz hardly "newer stuff"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leschirons Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 Party anthems? Does that mean Mustang Sally and I love rock'n'roll? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jezzaboy Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 They should have asked Santa for a new paragraph for Christmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpondonBassed Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 [quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1482865506' post='3203184'] ripping on young peoples' hyperbolic band ads is like shooting fish in a barrel. The true hunter scorns such easy prey. [/quote] Good point. Hahahahahahaha. I reserve the right to rip however. I've bloody well earned it! I get extra Victor Mildew points for curmudgeoning in public! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 [quote name='SpondonBassed' timestamp='1482873801' post='3203293'] Good point. Hahahahahahaha. I reserve the right to rip however. I've bloody well earned it! I get extra Victor Mildew points for curmudgeoning in public! [/quote] Rip away, my dear chap! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyquipment Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 Can we all apply and make it disband ? Jesus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpondonBassed Posted December 27, 2016 Share Posted December 27, 2016 [quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1482874612' post='3203303'] Rip away, my dear chap! [/quote] Sorry I can't right now as I'm creosoting a rhinoceros... I'll catch up later. Heeheehee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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