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The Garage, Islington


toneknob
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*cries*

First they flooded all the band nights on the toilet circuit, insisting that even though they sounded exactly the three bands on the bill before them, their music was different because they'd applied the "post-" prefix to whatever genre they were failing to bastardise, and that it was own fault that I didn't "get" why it was so different.

Then they came for my real ale, except they called it "craft beer" and acted like they'd invented it overnight as they all desperately tried to copy Brew Dog.

Now they come for my music venues. When does it stop?

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[quote name='Low End Bee' timestamp='1484652183' post='3217140']
Totally Mexico.
[/quote]

Isn't it. With this, and another gem I found yesterday (see below), I had to dig out the Nathan Barley episode where Dan Ashcroft does his "Don't you see? You're all idiots!" speech. (Which is funny because I've seen Julian Barratt at numerous jazz gigs with the exact same bewildered look on his face, eg the looping effects-laden solo tuba player who supported Polar Bear once at Spitz, ah happy days)

That other article. See http://www.etmgroup.co.uk/2017/01/10/coming-soon-greenwood/ but this text is from the soft launch email I received. "[color=#1D2129][font=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Greenwood is set to become Victoria’s premier drinking and dining destination, with an in-house barbershop courtesy of Sharps Barber and Shop and walk-in brow bar from Blink Brow Bar. Upstairs hosts the Sports Lounge at Greenwood, showing all domestic and international sports, as well as featuring an American 8-ball pool table and two Shuffleboards"[/font][/color]

[color=#1D2129][font=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]My assurance is that there can only be a finite amount of hipster dickheads around to lap up this kind of thing[/font][/color]

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One commenter:

[i][b]"[color=#000000]I think people like this are killing the live music venue where people love seeing bands, getting sweaty, singing out in solidarity with our heroes on the stage! And they’re replacing it with CRAFT BEER and cocktails served IN CAMPBELLS SOUP TINS.[/color][/b][/i]
[i][b][color=#000000]RIP London.[/color]
[color=#000000]RIP EVERYTHING WE LOVE."[/color][/b][/i]

[color=#000000]Aw bless they really don't like craft beer :lol:[/color]

Edited by ROConnell
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[quote name='ROConnell' timestamp='1484673731' post='3217400']
One commenter:

[i][b]"[color=#000000]I think people like this are killing the live music venue where people love seeing bands, getting sweaty, singing out in solidarity with our heroes on the stage! And they’re replacing it with CRAFT BEER and cocktails served IN CAMPBELLS SOUP TINS.[/color][/b][/i]
[i][b][color=#000000]RIP London.[/color]
[color=#000000]RIP EVERYTHING WE LOVE."[/color][/b][/i]

[color=#000000]Aw bless they really don't like craft beer :lol:[/color]
[/quote]

-Thread derail-

Well to be fair it is a bit "Emperor's new clothes".

First we had Real Ale snobs , when Real Ale become commonplace they moved on to micro breweries and now micro breweries aren't exclusive enough it's all about craft beer, which as far as I can tell is all about putting something suspiciously cloudy in a tiny can then charging punters more than the price of a pint of draught for it.

If I still drank I'd be starting the 'Campaign for Cheap Sh*te Lager'.

-Thread derail-

Edited by Cato
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[quote name='Cato' timestamp='1484674727' post='3217408']
-Thread derail-

Well to be fair it is a bit "Emperor's new clothes".

First we had Real Ale snobs , when Real Ale become commonplace they moved on to micro breweries and now micro breweries aren't exclusive enough it's all about craft beer, which as far as I can tell is all about putting something suspiciously cloudy in a tiny can then charging punters more than the price of a pint of draught for it.

If I still drank I'd be starting the 'Campaign for Cheap Sh*te Lager'.

-Thread derail-
[/quote]

As a card-carrying Real Ale Snob (I often worry that the Viz "Real Ale T**ts" sketch is based on my friends and me...), I take particular exception the "craft" movement because they hijacked a clear, well-defined concept and turned it into the trendy, style-over-substance ballache that it is today.

Real ale was simple: if the beer was still fermenting in the cask or bottle when it was sold to you, i.e., it contained live yeast, it was real ale. "Craft," I'm told, can be any beer which is "produced on a smaller scale, ideally handmade, with fresh ingredients and passion." Which could mean absolutely f@*#ing anything, quite frankly.

A lot of it is, as you say, Emperor's New Clothes through and through. I don't want people to stop experimenting with new recipes, but there's clearly a very different ethos between the small, new real ale breweries (e.g., Sambrook's of Battersea) and some of the short-lived startups in the railway arches around Bermondsey. Obviously the danger with being "traditional" is that you never do anything new or exciting; I would counter that by saying that you've got to learn to walk before you can run. There are some promising breweries making some excellent beer in some of those arches, but sadly there are plenty of others who never took the time to learn how to make a decent pint of bitter, and just assumed that if they copied everything Brew Dog did, they'd be seen as cool and groundbreaking.

Sorry, I'm turning into the pub bore here, aren't I? Just turn me around and point me back towards my table in the corner, I've got a pint of mild to finish...

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Thing is, the article says it'll still be a live venue and that they've actually installed a whole new sound system. DHP run the Rock City complex in Nottingham and a few other venues around the country, I can well imagine that live music is right at the top of the agenda here. Sounds like they're just doing up the little bar so that hipsters will come and keep the tills ringing/bills paid on the nights that there's no gigs on, which gives the venue a better chance of surviving long-term!

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[quote name='Billy Apple' timestamp='1484747011' post='3218019']
No, no.. Not at all. Come back, come back and tell us more! :D
[/quote]

Oh, well if you're sure...

[quote name='LayDownThaFunk' timestamp='1484746101' post='3218000']
Real ale, craft ale? Same thing isn't it? Real ale is ale drank in old man pubs. Craft ale is ale drank in 'new world' bars/pubs.
[/quote]

...one key difference that the lay drinker will appreciate is the taste. I tried a new one just the other day in a pub local to me - a guest beer, brewed in the area, available in a pub that otherwise mostly served Young's beers. Quite simply, it wasn't ready. It basically tasted of raw hops, and I found that very disappointing, because if they'd just left it to mature for two or three more weeks before shipping, it probably would have become something quite pleasant.

The difference is that the head brewers at Young's (or Wells & Young's, as it is now) would never have let a beer out in that condition. There is even a one-man operation brewing in the remains of the original site of Young's (surely it doesn't get more "craft" than that?) who I would trust not to let a beer out in that condition. I'd even expect most ale drinkers to take it back to the bar. But if you served it in the right sort of bar in Hackney, the sort of demographic that invests heavily in craft moustache wax would stroke their designer stubble at it and mutter things like,
"Ooh yes, very hoppy...challenging flavour, very bold...is this flavour in some way ironic?"
as opposed to admitting that nobody in their right mind would finish it. That refusal to admit that perhaps this little micro-brewery needs to get some advice on [i]actually making beer[/i] is, for my ha'porth, what separates "traditional" from "craft."

(And again, I say this with the caveat that a lot of these "craft" breweries do make great beer...in fact most of the ones in Derby are excellent. Perhaps it's a London thing...)

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Nothing to see here - all they're doing is opening a w***y hipster bar on the ground floor, not shutting the venue. Here's a better explanation:

http://www.islingtongazette.co.uk/news/gig_venue_the_garage_to_start_selling_coffee_food_and_craft_beer_because_bands_find_it_too_grotty_1_4821600

As a lover of craft beer I am always left puzzled by this hipster nonsense that seems to accompany it - people in stupid trousers who are more interested in what their beer says about them than they are in just getting drunk. Anybody who's in London should take a trip to the Black Heart in Camden to see that you don't have to shout "craft beer" from the rooftops or cater for hipsters, just get in some good beer and people will come.

Hopefully some of the craft beer will make it's way up to the venue at the Garage too - last time I was there their only concession was some tins of Beavertown Smog Rocket, which is something of an acquired taste...

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[quote name='Monkey Steve' timestamp='1484752385' post='3218098']
Anybody who's in London should take a trip to the Black Heart in Camden to see that you don't have to shout "craft beer" from the rooftops or cater for hipsters, just get in some good beer and people will come.
[/quote]

+1 Love The Black Heart, discovered it last year when I went down for Desertfest. Each time I've been down for a gig since we've always made the effort to go about 6 hours early just so we can sit in there and have a couple!

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[quote name='mike257' timestamp='1484746886' post='3218015']
Thing is, the article says it'll still be a live venue and that they've actually installed a whole new sound system. DHP run the Rock City complex in Nottingham and a few other venues around the country, I can well imagine that live music is right at the top of the agenda here. Sounds like they're just doing up the little bar so that hipsters will come and keep the tills ringing/bills paid on the nights that there's no gigs on, which gives the venue a better chance of surviving long-term!
[/quote]

Don't spoil a good thread with facts. ;)

Back to my pint of Hoxton Knee Trembler drunk out of a Smith's Salt n Shake crisp packet.

Peace n ****ing

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