OK, this is a possibly weird question about gigging...

[blue]

[quote name='mcnach' timestamp='1490781539' post='3267860']

I don't know, I think I am one of those guys who the minute you tell them "you HAVE to do X", will automatically hate X

Hmmm.

How long have you been away from the 9-5 life?
[/quote]

Officially, a little over 2 years.

Blue

[spikydavid]

[quote name='blue' timestamp='1490720192' post='3267379']


I consider it work, a 4 hour shift. I don't have a regular 9-5, by choice.

It's a fun 4 hour shift, but I still consider it going to work.

Blue
[/quote]

When you do it, it's work.

When I do it, it's art.

[blue]

[quote name='spikydavid' timestamp='1491066998' post='3270317']


When you do it, it's work.

When I do it, it's art.
[/quote]

Cool, however. debatable.

I'm in the music business, your in the art business.

"It's art when the check clears"
Andy Warhol


Cheers

Blue

Edited April 1, 2017 by blue

[mcnach]

[quote name='blue' timestamp='1491080102' post='3270417']

"It's art when the check clears"
Andy Warhol

[/quote]

great quote!

[Hot Tub]

Mrs HT will come along to local gigs, and/or if there's a group of friends attending. Generally she won't travel as it's a hell of a long night, especially if she doesn't know anyone else there.

Apart from that, music is my thing, rugby is hers, and we're not joined at the hip. I think it's good to have some separate interests.

[RhysP]

[quote name='Bilbo' timestamp='1490769291' post='3267720']
My wife hates Jazz. The last time she came to a gig was about three years ago when I played with Jason Rebello.
[/quote]

You've played with Jason Rebello? Respect to you!
Saw him the other week in Cardiff, superb musician.

[Jack]

[quote name='gjones' timestamp='1490539143' post='3265774']
Well the reason why wives/girlfriends/boyfriends/partners go to every gig, is not because they are huge fans of their other half's band, it's because they don't trust them to be away from them and having fun, in the 'dens of iniquity', that are most music venues.

My sister never went to any of my brother-in-law's gigs (she was never a big fan of music) until he ended up having an affair with a regular punter. After that 'incident' she became his bands biggest fan (she didn't let him out of her sight for about 5 years after that).
[/quote]
[quote name='Telebass' timestamp='1490557595' post='3265983']
Re the trust issue: my wife is quite often asked, "Don't you mind him being out doing this?", with the obvious nod to the, in my case, female element of the audience. These days, her answer (not yet deployed, but ready) is, "He doesn't know what [i]I'm[/i] doing while he's out..."

So the trust issue has to work both ways.
[/quote]
[quote name='bonzodog' timestamp='1490562261' post='3266037']
Ive played nearly 70 gigs with my current band and my wife has been to 2 of them. Partly because we have kids and limited babysitters and partly because she hates out genre of music.
Every morning after a gig the first thing she asks me is how many women were at out gig las night.
[/quote]

Even for a traditional relationship (marriage, some of you??) that amount of jealousy seems odd to me. Is it normal for monogamy?

[christhammer666]

I get in from a gig the only things my wife asks are was it good and did you play well.
And the gigs she does come to she see my talking to woman she know that part of gigging is interacting with people and does not pay much attention
If she did say anything id tell her to get a grip

[Huge Hands]

I find the opposite to the OP. The current Mrs HH comes to pretty much all of my gigs across 2-3 bands and most people think she's mad. They ask her why she would attend them all.

I remember that at the very first gig she came to when we'd just started dating, I ended up with two hot young ladies coming over and asking me about bass playing after the last set. I would add at this point, that this NEVER normally happens to me. Although in my youth I thought joining bands would get me regular attention from ladies/sex, it hasn't been the case at all for me in just under 30 years of gigging! It was bad timing being our first gig together, and the look that my lady was giving me while talking to them gave new meaning to the words "death stare".

Since then, she started coming to all of the gigs. I believe that she has now grown to fully trust me and it isn't about keeping tabs on me any more, but more about finding ways to spend nights out/sharing experiences together, even if not in the most conventional "couple" sense. However, although no one has said anything directly, I have sensed some unease from my main band, almost like they think she is some sort of "Yoko Ono".

As others have said, I love seeing her there, but there is always that unease from me that she is safe, and not being hassled or kicked around by a busy crowd. We do a lot of 2am finish gigs in London, so she is good to have as a companion on the 1hr+ drive home to help me stay awake!

[Monkey Steve]

I've had a few variations on these over the years.

My first serious girlfriend I met because she was the friend of the wife of the guitarist in a band i joined. She came to all my gigs, and most rehearsals, because she had a car and I've never learned to drive (so I now owe about three decades worth of lifts) but she really enjoyed it - it was a bit of a night out with the other WAGs who were our social crowd at the time. And we went to a lot of gigs and clubs anyway. At a gig very early in our relationship she stood back and giggled when a girl tried to chat me up and I just squirmed awkwardly. Top girl.

I've also had the jealous girlfriend who didn't want to let me out of her sight. In fact she seemed far more interested in being with somebody who was in the band that she was actually interested in the music. Which is weird because it wasn't like that particular band was any more than a pub covers band. Mind you, she was a bit unhinged, convinced that any girl I spoke to, or even any in my vicinity, was after me. She once got very annoyed with me when the band did a charity thing at Dingwalls where we had to go and set up the gear for everybody else to use the night before the gig and then take our turn soundchecking, purely because she felt that she had somehow lost out having to stay at home on her own when I'd been hanging out with my mates and having a great time (in practice I'd been sitting around for several hours doing nothing and getting very bored).

I've even had the clingy wannabe groupies (get me!) who come to all the band's gigs more to see me than the band. Bit scary.

I suspect that a lot of usually getting the other half along is simply to do with not having a particularly onerous gig schedule at the time - maybe one a month, and quite long periods where I'm not in a band or not playing gigs. I have mates who are much busier and they simply don't expect their wives to come along unless they really want to, especially if it involves a lot of travelling, and they usually try to let them make separate arrangements so that they just show up to see the band play, rather than coming along for loads in and soundcheck, etc. The ones that religiously turn up for every gig for bands that play a couple of times a week tend to get something of a Yoko reputation...perhaps that's something for a different thread.

Back to the OP, the general public's perception is probably a bit skewed, that like girlfriend #2, there's some glamour in being "with the band" when actually it's mostly sitting around doing very little.

[mcnach]

[quote name='christhammer666' timestamp='1491300875' post='3271889']
I get in from a gig the only things my wife asks are was it good and did you play well.
And the gigs she does come to she see my talking to woman she know that part of gigging is interacting with people and does not pay much attention
If she did say anything id tell her to get a grip
[/quote]

Hmmm...

I imagine that would be the last time you'd tell her anything if she were half intelligent. But then again, if she were half intelligent she wouldn't be in that position in the first place, I suppose.

[tauzero]

[quote name='Telebass' timestamp='1490611307' post='3266337']
I'm still thinking my point is not being grasped. Do other people, on finding out from one's other half that you are a practicing muso, seem to think, for whatever reason, that she should attend every gig? Is that not completely weird?
[/quote]

Just asked Mrs Zero if anyone has ever asked her, or made that assumption, and no, they haven't. It does seem odd to me that someone would make that assumption.

As far as actually having my own WAGS along to gigs, Mrs Zero #1 generally came along but didn't come to enough to get bored with it before we split up, Mrs Zero #2, after the first few, became utterly disinterested, and Mrs Zero #3 comes along when she can (mind you, she's been singing or barn dance calling at most of them).

[tauzero]

[quote name='Jack' timestamp='1491299603' post='3271879']
Even for a traditional relationship (marriage, some of you??) that amount of jealousy seems odd to me. Is it normal for monogamy?
[/quote]

Mrs Zero is rather amused by my ogling of the more attractive females. She was also rather amused when I was with a previous band with a rather attractive backing singer who was always positioned in front of me, as I was constantly looking at her bum. Well, actually I was looking at the neck of my bass, but I had angled myself quite strategically. OTOH, she knows she has nothing to fear.

[ivansc]

When Mrs. Terrible was about seven months into carrying our daughter, the band I was in at the time played a gig & whilst Mrs.T. was in the bathroom she overheard two "ladies" discussing my ass and what they wold like to do with me.
Cue "ahem" says obviously very pregnant lady "but that is my husband you are drooling over"
Big red faces from the two girlies and my wife smugly amused.
But to keep to the spirit of this thread, she stopped coming to gigs a looong time ago, unless I am working with someone she likes.

[dmccombe7]

I'm about to start with a function band. Are wives / girlfriends / partners allowed at private functions.
Never done those knd of gigs before and i'm just curious as its a similar theme to OP's

Dave

[gjones]

[quote name='dmccombe7' timestamp='1500496456' post='3338308']
I'm about to start with a function band. Are wives / girlfriends / partners allowed at private functions.
Never done those knd of gigs before and i'm just curious as its a similar theme to OP's

Dave
[/quote]

At any wedding, birthday, corporate event, etc, etc, that I've worked at, they usually provide hospitality i.e. food, drinks etc. The event organiser may wonder why they are setting up an extra place for the wives/partners of the band, when they aren't actually involved with producing music. The rest of the band may wonder too.

Probably best if you treat it as a professional job, not a night out.

Edited July 19, 2017 by gjones

[stingrayPete1977]

I don't take my wife to work.

[chris_b]

Yep. You're working not socialising.

[blue]

I could see taking a girlfriend to a high end big stage, big lights and sound where your doing an hour show.

But not a 4 hour US Midwest bar gig.

Blue

[peteb]

[quote name='chris_b' timestamp='1500502798' post='3338370']
Yep. You're working not socialising.
[/quote]
Yea, but you're not going to the office or clocking on at a factory! My general rule is if there is a public bar or a backstage area / guest list then it's fine to bring a partner, but not if it is a corporate, function or wedding gig, etc.

[quote name='blue' timestamp='1500503463' post='3338376']
I could see taking a girlfriend to a high end big stage, big lights and sound where your doing an hour show.

But not a 4 hour US Midwest bar gig.

Blue
[/quote]
I don't why she would want to sit thru a 4 hour bar gig on her own, unless of course it's the only chance she gets to see you! I suppose that it would depend on whether any of the other WAGs were going...

[BrunoBass]

Mrs GibsonBass supports what I do but isn't particularly interested. It's just not her thing. She comes to the occasional gig if possible and I'm cool with that; there's little point in her coming to see something that she doesn't enjoy. I can count on one hand the amount of times she has come to either a band or a solo gig. It suits me because I kind of feel responsible for her when I'd rather concentrate on what I'm doing than making sure she's ok.

Edited July 19, 2017 by PaulGibsonBass

[blue]

[quote name='peteb' timestamp='1500505748' post='3338386']

Yea, but you're not going to the office or clocking on at a factory! My general rule is if there is a public bar or a backstage area / guest list then it's fine to bring a partner, but not if it is a corporate, function or wedding gig, etc.


I don't why she would want to sit thru a 4 hour bar gig on her own, unless of course it's the only chance she gets to see you! I suppose that it would depend on whether any of the other WAGs were going...
[/quote]

We're a 4 piece. I'm the only single unattached menber of the band. All the other members are married and their spouses attend every gig.

However the spouses all play important roles in the band from merchandise,sound and lights, set up and tear down to marketing and payroll.

Blue

Edited July 20, 2017 by blue

[SICbass]

[quote name='PaulGibsonBass' timestamp='1500505752' post='3338387']
Mrs GibsonBass supports what I do but isn't particularly interested. It's just not her thing. She comes to the occasional gig if possible and I'm cool with that; there's little point in her coming to see something that she doesn't enjoy. I can count on one hand the amount of times she has come to either a band or a solo gig. It suits me because I kind of feel responsible for her when I'd rather concentrate on what I'm doing than making sure she's ok.
[/quote]

My wife is the same and my attitude to her being there is like yours. I've no specific objection, but would rather concentrate on my gig.

[dmccombe7]

That's kind of what i was thinking. Different at a bar venue but a private function is more like a job.

My wife has always done the lights for any band i've been in but not sure whether the new band already has that arranged.
She enjoys being at the gigs and usually takes photos or VIDS but again its only ever been pub or club venues.

To be honest it could be a deal breaker for me as we do most things together and i've always seen the gigs as a joint thing.
If she's doing the lights its acceptable i guess.

Dave

[Les]

[quote name='blue' timestamp='1500523771' post='3338412']
However the spouses all play important roles in the band from sound and lights, set up and tear down to marketing and payroll.
Blue
[/quote]

Out of curiosity Blue are they paid for this ?

Les