Stylon Pilson Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 My band is in dire need of a meeting to discuss various aspects concerning this, that and the other. A few weeks back we co-ordinated diaries and agreed this evening would be suitable, and decided to do it over a nice meal. However, and I really hope I'm wrong about this, I think that the guitarist may have invited his girlfriend too. In which case, that probably puts to rest any chance of having any productive discussion, and means it's just going to end up being a band social instead, and all those issues that are threatening to tear the band apart will continue to remain unresolved. Lesson learned - next time, plan the band meeting for somewhere as uncomfortable and hostile as possible. S.P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mep Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Just get on with your agenda. Maybe she will feel like a gooseberry. Annoying though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoRhino Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 A band meeting to discuss important things is not for partners. You should arrange a separate social for another date. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Jack Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Just try not to hit on her ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Number6 Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Get the issues on the table whether she's there or not. Make it clear it's not a social. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leschirons Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 I would have thought that as you're discussing issues that are "threatening to tear the band apart" a nice meal in a restaurant is not an ideal situation anyway. If it all gets heated and goes 🍐 shaped just before the main course arrives, that's going to feel like a very long and uncomfortable evening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spectoremg Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 I'd send a fairly bland email to everyone clarifying the agenda and reminding everyone it's band members only. No names. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leschirons Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 (edited) This comes to mind😂 Maybe you'll be the Ying to her Yang. Edited April 21, 2017 by leschirons Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmccombe7 Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 [quote name='Happy Jack' timestamp='1492793880' post='3283318'] Just try not to hit on her ... [/quote] Just had to laugh at that but on the other hand if you all hit on her he won't invite her back the next time Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 [quote name='dmccombe7' timestamp='1492798069' post='3283357'] Just had to laugh at that but on the other hand if you all hit on her he won't invite her back the next time Dave [/quote] This time next week there will be another "I quit my band thread" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahpook Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 (edited) [quote name='Stylon Pilson' timestamp='1492791215' post='3283294'] I think that the guitarist may have invited his girlfriend too... [/quote] If she comes along, find out when they'll next be having a 'big chat' and ask if you can eat carbonara and maybe sup "something a bit special"* from the wine list whilst they do... *You deserve it. Edited April 21, 2017 by ahpook Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len_derby Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Two things come into my mind. Firstly, wanting to avoid the things needing discussion he's invited her to try and scupper it. Alternatively, partners of either sex can get jealous and suspicious. Because it's a non-musical social event maybe he wasn't allowed to come without her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steantval Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Just inform your guitarist he was out of order assuming his girlfriend was also invited. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrunoBass Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 [quote name='spectoremg' timestamp='1492796159' post='3283338'] [/quote] 😆 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stingrayPete1977 Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 (edited) [quote name='Len_derby' timestamp='1492799545' post='3283382'] Two things come into my mind. Firstly, wanting to avoid the things needing discussion he's invited her to try and scupper it. Alternatively, partners of either sex can get jealous and suspicious. Because it's a non-musical social event maybe he wasn't allowed to come without her. [/quote] A bassist in a band I replaced years ago was not trusted by his wife, he had to set up then wait in the car with her, then play the first set, wait in the car during the break, second set, pack up and go home at every gig! She didn't come in and watch them and some gigs would be private functions anyway, bonkers she was! Edited April 21, 2017 by stingrayPete1977 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmccombe7 Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 [quote name='TimR' timestamp='1492798496' post='3283365'] This time next week there will be another "I quit my band thread" [/quote] Stop it my sides are hurting Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevB Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 [quote name='Stylon Pilson' timestamp='1492791215' post='3283294'] Lesson learned - next time, plan the band meeting for somewhere as uncomfortable and hostile as possible. [/quote] Syria is a long way to go for a band meeting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T-Bay Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 [quote name='KevB' timestamp='1492802698' post='3283410'] Syria is a long way to go for a band meeting. [/quote] I presumed Maidenhead............ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barneyg42 Posted April 22, 2017 Share Posted April 22, 2017 [quote name='Happy Jack' timestamp='1492793880' post='3283318'] Just try not to hit on her ... [/quote] Totally misread that as "just try not to hit her" Now that could be interesting!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karlfer Posted April 22, 2017 Share Posted April 22, 2017 [quote name='stingrayPete1977' timestamp='1492800290' post='3283390'] A bassist in a band I replaced years ago was not trusted by his wife, he had to set up then wait in the car with her, then play the first set, wait in the car during the break, second set, pack up and go home at every gig! She didn't come in and watch them and some gigs would be private functions anyway, bonkers she was! [/quote] Are you sure it was HER that was bonkers ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stingrayPete1977 Posted April 22, 2017 Share Posted April 22, 2017 [quote name='karlfer' timestamp='1492843945' post='3283552'] Are you sure it was HER that was bonkers ? [/quote] They both were to be honest, I think they had both messed around with other people but her more than him, she also liked a drop of wine.......for breakfast, dinner and tea! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmccombe7 Posted April 22, 2017 Share Posted April 22, 2017 [quote name='stingrayPete1977' timestamp='1492847089' post='3283567'] They both were to be honest, I think they had both messed around with other people but her more than him, she also liked a drop of wine.......for breakfast, dinner and tea! [/quote] Nowt wrong wie corn flakes with Buckfast for breakfast. Maybe its just a Scottish thing tho. Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Dare Posted April 22, 2017 Share Posted April 22, 2017 [quote name='leschirons' timestamp='1492795151' post='3283329'] I would have thought that as you're discussing issues that are "threatening to tear the band apart" a nice meal in a restaurant is not an ideal situation anyway. If it all gets heated and goes 🍐 shaped just before the main course arrives, that's going to feel like a very long and uncomfortable evening. [/quote] Agree with this. A "nice meal" not an ideal setting in which to talk business, especially if there are contentious issues to sort out. Partners a definite no-no, in my experience. Perhaps the guitar player invited her deliberately to forestall any awkward issues being raised? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted April 22, 2017 Share Posted April 22, 2017 Can she play keyboards? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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