Sudden decision

[RhysP]

[quote name='bassjim' timestamp='1494237235' post='3294141']
It was when I finally split with my ex wife some years ago, that I realised why I was doing all the running around organising the gigs, moving the PA, putting up with muso based grief ect. It was so I could get out and away from her!
[/quote]
I know a few people who have been in similar situations.
As soon as their relationship finally fell apart their willingness to get out of the house at every available opportunity vanished.

Thinking about I actually did the majority of my gigging when I was in a really terrible relationship too.

[bassjim]

Funny thing is you don't realise just how bad it is until it finally happens. The band becomes a mask. The OP may find a lot of the winging it guys may be doing the gigs as a way of getting out the house as a priority over the music itself.

[leroydiamond]

[quote name='blue' timestamp='1494212533' post='3294008']
I pride myself on not getting frustrated dealing with "bad drummer" issues. It's part of being in a band. It's part of my job.


It's not about my requirements.It's about how can I make this work. What's good or makes sense for the band.

At 64, I'm still not a great bass player, but I know what I'm doing. And it took a long time to get here.

Blue
[/quote]

If the drummer is bad then there is no way the collective performance can be good, that's the crux of the issue. Bad drummer =no groove.

[blue]

[quote name='RockfordStone' timestamp='1494232387' post='3294090']

it can be exactly that, for me it happened in the middle of a show (i was front man of the band), i looked out at the 5 people in the pub we were playing, the guitarist had been complaining about the sound and i just decided i didn't want to do it anymore.

you are by your own admission very lucky, you don't have to deal with the politics and stuff that cause the frustrations, you can to an extent, turn up, play and go home paid.

a lot of us have to be the band organiser, book gigs, practice, recording etc. if you have spent 2 weeks debating with a promoter about backline, and then having to deal with the guitarist moaning about the house backline not having "his sound"... by the time you get to the gig (assuming it hasn't been pulled last minute, or your drummer decides he is double booked despite being told 3 months ago) and no one has shown up, you stand there wondering "what's the point?"... repeat that a number of times and the love just goes.

i've not played gigs for 3 years now, and whilst i would love to get on stage the pile of bullshit you have to wade through to get to that stage puts me off.
[/quote]

Your right, I'm lucky. I'm in a band where there's not a lot of BS, complaining or politics.

I get along with all band members. I get to gigs early so I can help haul in PA and lights after my rig is set up. And I help out with tear down as well.

Small crowds don't bother me. We can have a thin crowd on Friday night and a packed house Saturday night.

But, when you do this for a living, you really can't just decide to quit.

Bad part is, I'm spoiled. Finding another operation like mine would be impossible.

Blue

[blue]

[quote name='leroydiamond' timestamp='1494260198' post='3294469']

If the drummer is bad then there is no way the collective performance can be good, that's the crux of the issue. Bad drummer =no groove.
[/quote]

Your right,

Blue

[blue]

[quote name='bassjim' timestamp='1494239952' post='3294173']
Funny thing is you don't realise just how bad it is until it finally happens. The band becomes a mask. The OP may find a lot of the winging it guys may be doing the gigs as a way of getting out the house as a priority over the music itself.
[/quote]

That's an issue guys should think about when making a decision on joining a band. Why are these guys in a band.

I would question any young guys in a gigging band that are married with young children.

Blue

[blue]

[quote name='Yank' timestamp='1494233621' post='3294102']
Wow! Surprised by how gigging is seen as a chore by many. I'm 62, been playing since 10 y/o, gigging since 15. Have gigged as a drummer, singer, guitar player, harmonica player and bass player. I love to gig! I've always used gig money to get great gear, so it didn't come out of house funds. I also love to practice, where you get creative to make your parts better, and love to teach, to pass on tid-bits of knowledge and see students progress. music is a gift and I feel blessed to be able to use it in my and others' lives.
[/quote]

Pretty much the same as my story.

Can't wait until Saturday night.

Blue

[blue]

[quote name='Yank' timestamp='1494233621' post='3294102']
Wow! Surprised by how gigging is seen as a chore by many. I'm 62, been playing since 10 y/o, gigging since 15. Have gigged as a drummer, singer, guitar player, harmonica player and bass player. I love to gig! I've always used gig money to get great gear, so it didn't come out of house funds. I also love to practice, where you get creative to make your parts better, and love to teach, to pass on tid-bits of knowledge and see students progress. music is a gift and I feel blessed to be able to use it in my and others' lives.
[/quote]

If I've learned anything from this thread it's how band choice and band experience is different for all of us.

For you younger guys out there, if your serious, don't just join any band.

Do your homework and put a lot of thought into whether to join a band or not.


Blue

Edited May 8, 2017 by blue

[Painy]

I played my first gig with my current band 21 years ago and in that time I've played somewhere in the region of 1300 gigs with them. The most I played in a year was 152.
These days, with all the band members having family commitments, we're down to 25-30 gigs a year.
I now get to play 2 or 3 gigs a month with a great band and have the rest of my time at the weekends to spend with my beautiful wife and amazing kids.
I wouldn't change it for the world really but if I'm honest I really do miss those 2 and 3 gig weekends and having gigs to look forward to every week - just not enough to sacrifice that precious family time (or risk the wrath of Mrs Painy whom I affectionately refer to as my little velociraptor).

Even the thought of giving up gigging altogether though makes me feel miserable. When I'm gone I want an SVT and a fridge for a headstone and my coffin lid strung EADG!

Edited May 8, 2017 by Painy

[BrunoBass]

[quote name='lowregisterhead' timestamp='1494149820' post='3293590']


That's a good point Rhys - so much of peoples' sense of identity is wrapped up in what they do, and even more so with musicians, IMHO. It's certainly the case for me. Whether it's to provide some consolation that our life isn't as ordinary or mundane as the next man, or to give us some sense of belonging to a special tribe of some sort, along with satisfying our ego with the chance of recognition by the public and our peers. Sorry if I'm getting a bit too deep and philosophical!
[/quote]

I think there's a lot of truth in that. I've never analysed it in that way but I think you've nailed it.

[BrunoBass]

[quote name='blue' timestamp='1494276679' post='3294684']


I would question any young guys in a gigging band that are married with young children.

Blue
[/quote]

Why?

I'm not exactly young but I'm married with a young family and I am in a gigging band. Works for me.

[blue]

[quote name='Painy' timestamp='1494280774' post='3294738']
I played my first gig with my current band 21 years ago and in that time I've played somewhere in the region of 1300 gigs with them. The most I played in a year was 152.
These days, with all the band members having family commitments, we're down to 25-30 gigs a year.
I now get to play 2 or 3 gigs a month with a great band and have the rest of my time at the weekends to spend with my beautiful wife and amazing kids.
I wouldn't change it for the world really but if I'm honest I really do miss those 2 and 3 gig weekends and having gigs to look forward to every week - just not enough to sacrifice that precious family time (or risk the wrath of Mrs Painy whom I affectionately refer to as my little velociraptor).

Even the thought of giving up gigging altogether though makes me feel miserable. When I'm gone I want an SVT and a fridge for a headstone and my coffin lid strung EADG!
[/quote]

Makes perfect sense.

I think guys like me, no family, single, carefree, do what we want when we want. We're a small minority.

Blue

[blue]

[quote name='PaulGibsonBass' timestamp='1494282318' post='3294748']


Why?

I'm not exactly young but I'm married with a young family and I am in a gigging band. Works for me.
[/quote]

Depends, if you play for a living and it's how you support your family, then that's a different story.

If it's not how you make a living and your wife is cool with you gigging every Friday & Saturday night then your the exception to the rule.

Blue

[peteb]

[quote name='blue' timestamp='1494358626' post='3295367']
Depends, if you play for a living and it's how you support your family, then that's a different story.

If it's not how you make a living and your wife is cool with you gigging every Friday & Saturday night then your the exception to the rule.

Blue
[/quote]
I think that you are exaggerating the impact of being a gigging musician on relationships. Of all the relationships I have been in over the years, I don't think that playing in a band has been a significant problem (god knows there have been plenty other issues). They all knew that I would be away gigging regularly when I met them and were generally pretty supportive. I would say that the same applies for most of my muso mates (with a few notable exceptions)...

[Rich]

[quote name='blue' timestamp='1494146077' post='3293551']
I do understand things in life eventually change and at some point gigging will no longer be an option for me. I just want 10 more years.
[/quote]
I love playing and gigging, but my hands are packing up. Arthritis is setting in gradually, my left pinky is already stiff & useless and various others are starting to ache too. It's only a matter of time. I reckon I'll be lucky if I am still able to play in ten years' time. So I'm going to enjoy it while I can.

[blue]

[quote name='peteb' timestamp='1494363780' post='3295445']

I think that you are exaggerating the impact of being a gigging musician on relationships. Of all the relationships I have been in over the years, I don't think that playing in a band has been a significant problem (god knows there have been plenty other issues). They all knew that I would be away gigging regularly when I met them and were generally pretty supportive. I would say that the same applies for most of my muso mates (with a few notable exceptions)...
[/quote]

With me, they were supportive until the actual gigging started.

Remember in the States bar gigs are 4 hours. That means leaving home at 5:00 and getting home at 3:00am.

Blue

[BrunoBass]

[quote name='blue' timestamp='1494368391' post='3295499']


With me, they were supportive until the actual gigging started.

Remember in the States bar gigs are 4 hours. That means leaving home at 5:00 and getting home at 3:00am.

Blue
[/quote]

I'm not sure the amount of hours you're out is an issue. If you're gigging, you're out for the night, whether it's 5 hours or ten hours. Either your partner is cool with that or she/he isn't. Mine is, fortunately, but I then I'm not gigging all weekend every weekend.

[Dad3353]

In the 70's, gigging meant leaving at 11h00 Friday or Saturday, getting back home at 08h00 Monday or Tuesday. When we married, my other half knew this, and was fine with it. We brought up 3 kids. I held a full-time technician job in a music shop, too. I couldn't do it at that pace now, but family life can be fitted in very well, with goodwill all round. How about deep-sea fishermen, away for months, or military bods, away for long spells..? 4-hours gigs..? Bah. Chicken feed. S'nothin', when one's young enough..!

[blue]

[quote name='Dad3353' timestamp='1494374815' post='3295512']
In the 70's, gigging meant leaving at 11h00 Friday or Saturday, getting back home at 08h00 Monday or Tuesday. When we married, my other half knew this, and was fine with it. We brought up 3 kids. I held a full-time technician job in a music shop, too. I couldn't do it at that pace now, but family life can be fitted in very well, with goodwill all round. How about deep-sea fishermen, away for months, or military bods, away for long spells..? 4-hours gigs..? Bah. Chicken feed. S'nothin', when one's young enough..!
[/quote]

How about deep sea fishing?

I bet more than 1 has come home to a big surprise.

Blue

[SpondonBassed]

[quote name='Yank' timestamp='1494233621' post='3294102']
Wow! Surprised by how gigging is seen as a chore by many. I'm 62, been playing since 10 y/o, gigging since 15. Have gigged as a drummer, singer, guitar player, harmonica player and bass player. I love to gig! I've always used gig money to get great gear, so it didn't come out of house funds. I also love to practice, where you get creative to make your parts better, and love to teach, to pass on tid-bits of knowledge and see students progress. music is a gift and I feel blessed to be able to use it in my and others' lives.
[/quote]

May I respectfully suggest that we could do with a tiny bit more of the American [i]can do[/i] attitude in this country (UK) as a whole.

Having said that, I feel sorry for this situation where the OP has "carried" the whole band. That'd wear anyone down if there is no "tangible" acknowledgement of the extra effort from the fellow members.

Edited May 10, 2017 by SpondonBassed

[oldbass]

Just started doing some outdoor summer deps for an easy local covers band after a lay off of 20 years!. Mixed feelings bout the whole thing really. Tunes are a mix of the usual pub rock classics and pop stuff but I vowed years ago never to do any more pub band gigs....EVER!.

Thing is its bloody good fun and my playing has got better over the years so it does feel pretty enjoyable, The important thing for me is that I dont take it to seriously but if they start to do the pubs Im out.

[blue]

[quote name='SpondonBassed' timestamp='1494401646' post='3295575']


May I respectfully suggest that we could do with a tiny bit more of the American [i]can do[/i] attitude in this country (UK) as a whole.

Having said that, I feel sorry for this situation where the OP has "carried" the whole band. That'd wear anyone down if there is no "tangible" acknowledgement of the extra effort from the fellow members.
[/quote]

If they have the bigger pay gigs, in the 2k range, he should be paid more than the other band members.

Blue

[SpondonBassed]

[quote name='blue' timestamp='1494450360' post='3296170']
If they have the bigger pay gigs, in the 2k range, he should be paid more than the other band members.

Blue
[/quote]

Undoubtedly.

Even if the fee is less than that, he is filling more than just the role of Bassist. He covers the roles of Promoter and Roadie to name just two. Pay is certainly a tangible acknowledgement and if no one else in the band is prepared to help after the question has been asked additional pay is about the only thing left with which to compensate.

Are there any Musician's Union members here who could advise on this?