GreeneKing Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 (edited) Life is a journey. I've struggled all my life with relationships and anger, amongst other things. It's taken me into therapy and I became involved and I then became qualified as a therapist and altogether I've spent many hundreds of hours in that environment. It has opened up my self awareness enormously and it's been enlightening but in terms of helping me with my 'stuff' nothing has really changed. My life is still interspersed with self inflicted disaster. Don't get me wrong, I'm no sociopath monster, I have achieved a lot in life and I can be (am?) a lovely bloke but I have my moments and you probably wouldn't want to spend too long in my head Life has taken a turn recently and I'm presently seeing a psychiatrist for a diagnosis. I think I know where it's headed as I can read the DSM IV. Severe abuse in early childhood can lead to neurobiological wounds. For boys neglect is particularly corrosive. I've been reading some research and the way in which the brain can become 'mal-wired' leads to certain traits that stay with us through life. These traits form who I am pretty much on many many ways both mentally and physically. One fascinating one from a bass perspective is the lack of communication and integration between the left and right hemispheres of the brain. Playing an instrument requires your musical senses and your spacial ability work together well. This stood out for me because if I'm honest 20 years of playing and countless hours of practice have left me average at best. I have great motor skills and a wide, varied and imo discerning taste in music but I'm far from gifted as a musician. The good news? Playing is great therapy because it does develop this integration. It will never repair it completely. Wth my diagnosis on the near horizon these developments have been a great help. Sometimes it's good to know you are broken, then you can work around things and not feel quite so bloody guilty. Edited May 21, 2017 by GreeneKing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingPrawn Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 (edited) What a brilliant post! Thanks for sharing your experiences, I hope your diagnosis gives you an opportunity to make sense of your experiences. There's no question on the importance of music and its impact on trauma. It's a powerful tool and comfort to many. Edited May 21, 2017 by KingPrawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T-Bay Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 We are all a product of our upbringing, for good or bad. I was lucky to have a loving home but a very ill father who basically worked then spent every minute off recovering so he could go and kill himself slowly again the next day. I went to a very rough school and spent five years avoiding getting my head kicked in on a daily basis for the crime of listening to different music and wanting to get on in life. I know it has affected me massively because I worry so much about my daughter and spend far too much time working out how the family would survive if anything were to happen to me. I still find myself getting angry when I see things like the abuse of the NHS by the powers that be (it saved my Dads life on several,occasions and I was named after one of the surgeons who kept my dad alive) but I find it helps to have positive ways to use that energy. I am a pretty chilled out sort generally thankfully which helps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Burrito Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 This reads as a really open and heart felt post. I'm sure you are not alone in what you have shared. I think many of us can relate to at least some aspects from this too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fleabag Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Having met you in the distant past, Peter, i can testify that you're a decent chap. Keep on playing and dont let life grind you down Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassBus Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 I'm always happy to see men opening up about their mental health. Best attitude to have. It can only encourage other's to do the same. Playing is for fun, you don't have to be of the equal to Jaco or Gary Willis. You are you and that's all that matters. All power to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arthurhenry Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 As others have said, a great post. It seems at least one thing is clear; keep on playing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynottfan Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 (edited) GreeneKing, Thank you for such a great post, I have been very absent from this forum for a while now, just having a dabble every now and then with it, this has mainly been due to having a diagnosed bout of depression and playing the bass guitar has just not been able for me really, to read what you had to say has inspired me to get myself in a gear and to get the bass out and get back on it. Hope all works well for you. Edited May 21, 2017 by Lynottfan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingPrawn Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 (edited) [quote name='Lynottfan' timestamp='1495385808' post='3303385'] GreeneKing, Thank you for such a great post, I have been very absent from this forum for a while now, just having a dabble every now and then with it, this has mainly been due to having a diagnosed bout of depression and playing the bass guitar has just not been able for me really, to read what you had to say has inspired me to get myself in a gear and to get the bass out and get back on it. Hope all works well for you. [/quote] Good for you mate. You can always off load here. Your never alone. Edited May 21, 2017 by KingPrawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davegriffiths91 Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 An inspiring post mate. Makes me thankful for my own health. I've been in a bad mood all day but this post has snapped me right out of it and put a bit of perspective on things. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silverfoxnik Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 (edited) [quote name='fleabag' timestamp='1495384791' post='3303372'] Having met you in the distant past, Peter, i can testify that you're a decent chap. Keep on playing and dont let life grind you down [/quote] +1 My thoughts exactly! You've always conducted yourself with real wisdom and dignity on here Peter, and that was my experience of you as a person when we met about 10 years ago here in West Sussex. Most of us here may never be the amazing musical prodigies that we all wish we could be, but life is a journey as you say, and participating in that journey using music as a means of relaxation, expression, pleasure or just as a way of communicating with others, is about as good as it gets IMHO. Interesting what you have to say about the right-hand/left-hand sides of the brain and integration because I read an article a couple of years ago about a piece of scientific research that proved how taking part in music - especially playing instruments and/or singing - activates more parts of the brain simultaneously than any other known human activity! So, there's definitely plenty of reasons for you to keep on playing - not least of which is the fact that it's bloody good for you! Thanks for such an open and thought provoking post Peter and best wishes with the therapy and with everything else. Nik P.s. as well as good tastes in music, you've always had really good taste in basses too.. and I should know; I've bought a few of them! 😀 Edited May 21, 2017 by silverfoxnik Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wylie Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 As others have said, keep playing. I also suffered trauma early and have a hard time integrating those left and right sides. But when the guys I play with chime together in a certain way--when the playing [i]and[/i] the listening come together--it's like my brain lights up and calms down and everything's OK. Thanks for sharing what you did, and don't give up. W. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheddatom Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 lovely thread!!! All the best, keep bassing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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