stewblack Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 (edited) This all happened a long time ago so i don't think I'm in danger of upsetting anyone if by a chance they stumble upon it. My tale is more a case of why I didn't quit much earlier! BL was a boorish, ill mannered fellow who couldn't play in time if doing so would save his kids from drowning. I was so amazed by his stinking attitude only a couple of weeks into joining that I and another member who joined with me had a chat with the drummer to ask hey - what gives? Apparently every single person who had ever joined (except the drummer who had observed all of this) had quit because of the truculent, intransigent and downright odd attitude of the guy. Once (before this drummer's time) the entire band left him and carried on. This was his band remember. He was basically sacked from his own band. So I determined to be the guy who could make it work. Out of bloody mindedness more than anything. He beat me in the end though. I realised that what appeared to be a curious inability to understand other people on any level or to accommodate them, actually hid something a little more, shall we say, sinister. So I bailed. If ever someone should have been a solo artist it was that guy. . Edited July 23, 2019 by stewblack 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahpook Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 (edited) A lacklustre cheeseboard. Edited October 8, 2019 by ahpook 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si600 Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 I emigrated. I did hope that they would find a new bassist and carry on, but they called it a day. I was BL, kitten herder and general organiser so I'm not surprised, but it would have been nice if they'd stuck it out. Ho hum as they say. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilly Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 About to pull the trigger myself. Joined up because my old band just fell apart . Just not feeling it with this new band . We’re on our 4th singer . Each one left because of personality clashes with BL, founder. I find when 2 alpha males are in a band it’s doomed . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilly Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 On 23/07/2019 at 19:54, stewblack said: This all happened a long time ago so i don't think I'm in danger of upsetting anyone if by a chance they stumble upon it. My tale is more a case of why I didn't quit much earlier! BL was a boorish, ill mannered fellow who couldn't play in time if doing so would save his kids from drowning. I was so amazed by his stinking attitude only a couple of weeks into joining that I and another member who joined with me had a chat with the drummer to ask hey - what gives? Apparently every single person who had ever joined (except the drummer who had observed all of this) had quit because of the truculent, intransigent and downright odd attitude of the guy. Once (before this drummer's time) the entire band left him and carried on. This was his band remember. He was basically sacked from his own band. So I determined to be the guy who could make it work. Out of bloody mindedness more than anything. He beat me in the end though. I realised that what appeared to be a curious inability to understand other people on any level or to accommodate them, actually hid something a little more, shall we say, sinister. So I bailed. If ever someone should have been a solo artist it was that guy. . Some people should never be in bands . Bands are a team sport 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 The endless discussions about what to wear at gigs. But not actually having any gigs. The endless discussions about what new tunes to learn to play at gigs. But not actually having any gigs. Essentially too much inaction. In the end after one practice where no one had bothered even listening to the new tunes, lest alone practicing them, I expressed my dissatisfaction. The next morning an email went round from the drummer to the rest of the band basically a complete character assassination. Obviously he didn’t realise he’d sent it to ‘the band’ instead of everyone in the band apart from me*. I replied immediately to all with my resignation. Best thing I ever did. Stepped straight into 3 bands with gigs lined up and no discussions about what to wear. 😂 *or maybe he did? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilly Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 After a long hiatus playing bass I eventually got involved with a great bunch of musicians playing original music. It was a great experience and I eventually got involved in other bands . The only reason why I left is because I wasn’t into the genre at all. I knew it, they knew it. They found a replacement bassist who is actually a better fit as he’s a fretless player. So all very cordial. Probably a rare occurrence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluewine Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 6 minutes ago, Quilly said: After a long hiatus playing bass I eventually got involved with a great bunch of musicians playing original music. It was a great experience and I eventually got involved in other bands . The only reason why I left is because I wasn’t into the genre at all. I knew it, they knew it. They found a replacement bassist who is actually a better fit as he’s a fretless player. So all very cordial. Probably a rare occurrence I have to ask, if you didn't like the genre, why did you join the band? Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluewine Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 7 hours ago, TimR said: The endless discussions about what to wear at gigs. But not actually having any gigs. The endless discussions about what new tunes to learn to play at gigs. But not actually having any gigs. Essentially too much inaction. In the end after one practice where no one had bothered even listening to the new tunes, lest alone practicing them, I expressed my dissatisfaction. The next morning an email went round from the drummer to the rest of the band basically a complete character assassination. Obviously he didn’t realise he’d sent it to ‘the band’ instead of everyone in the band apart from me*. I replied immediately to all with my resignation. Best thing I ever did. Stepped straight into 3 bands with gigs lined up and no discussions about what to wear. 😂 *or maybe he did? Good for you, good decision. I think it's best to work out a business strategy and have gigs lined up before you even start a band. Look for and only recruit guys that want to gig a lot and make money. I only mention it because things are different now. A lot of guys don't want to gig or they only want to gig once a month . I've seen really good musicians start bands with great material, but without a clue on how to get good paying gigs. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilly Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 48 minutes ago, Bluewine said: I have to ask, if you didn't like the genre, why did you join the band? Blue I was seriously out of practice but these guys asked me to join after an acoustic session . I didn’t have much gear at the time so it suited me. It was intricate music so it kept me on my toes. Kinda American folky type music. When their band got more serious I bowed out . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quilly Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 43 minutes ago, Bluewine said: Good for you, good decision. I think it's best to work out a business strategy and have gigs lined up before you even start a band. Look for and only recruit guys that want to gig a lot and make money. I only mention it because things are different now. A lot of guys don't want to gig or they only want to gig once a month . I've seen really good musicians start bands with great material, but without a clue on how to get good paying gigs. Blue A gig a month would suit me but even if we had them (and we could get them) a band member would bail at the 11th hours forcing me to embarrassingly cancel the gig. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phil.c60 Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 "I think it's best to work out a business strategy and have gigs lined up before you even start a band." Nice idea, but wouldn't work here in SE England. Every venue I approach wants to hear you, know about your Facebook/Web page, see some video etc. or at least be recommended by a band they know before they'll consider booking you . Trying to get gigs for an unknown band that doesn't exist yet would be like trying to find a unicorn in the countryside - it may well be out there, but you'll have to be especially lucky to find it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Steve Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 10 hours ago, TimR said: The endless discussions about what to wear at gigs. But not actually having any gigs. An old band of mine once got a bad review which specifically mentioned how we all looked like we were in different bands, so we had a discussion and agreed on how we should dress for the next gig. Except for one guitarist, who objected on principle to being told what to wear, so he refused, and then made a point of dressing completely differently to the rest of us the band fell apart for reasons not related to him, and most of us decided to start something new. Had a not especially good jam and repaired to the pub where the aforementioned guitarist lectured us for an hour about needing to work on crafting our image and harnessing social media well in advance of ever actually having any music ready and gigs booked. Half the band had serious misgivings about the quality of the music, but he wasn't concerned as the music could come later once we'd got an on line following, first thing to do was sort out what we were going to wear and organise some photos. Seems that as long as it was his idea, he was all for managing the band's image...not at all a fragile ego... that was the last time the band got together 10 hours ago, TimR said: The endless discussions about what new tunes to learn to play at gigs. But not actually having any gigs. after one practice where no one had bothered even listening to the new tunes, lest alone practicing them, I expressed my dissatisfaction. some people like the idea of being in a band much more than the business of actually playing music, and would rather go to the pub and discuss how they are going to take over the world (quite loudly, so that everybody can hear that they are in a band) than go to the studio and rehearse I know quite a few Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bassfinger Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 Got divorced. This sucked much of my time, money and my will to live, so I thought the decent thing to do for the sake of the other two was to hand in my cards as my mind wasn't on it and heart wasn't in it. Not much point in being in a fun pub band if life is making it a chore. I moved away and lost contact with them, so I have no idea what became of the 2 remaining members of The Velocity 4. Google hasn't revealed anything, and I don't do Twitbook, so who knows? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 3 hours ago, Bluewine said: things are different now Lots of bands suffer from mission creep. There are also musicians who make the right noises but don’t come up with the goods. I now have no issue looking for another band to play in if my current band are showing a lack of commitment. Even if it’s just for a few gigs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodinblack Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 (edited) Constant fiddling with the end of tunes, intros, random middle bits. Basically every practice the tunes had changed for some reason. Constant micro management. Had a feeling when joining that this band was never going to gig. Didn't take the fact that the previous bass player had left. after a couple of practices, the singer left, then the drummer left. Thought that was odd. Got another drummer, he left after one practice (pre existing injury). Then finally had a (free - test out the band) gig, it was ok. Then the other singer left. Got a replacement (my wife) but by now was pretty obvious what the problem was (but hanging on because enjoying being in a group with my wife). We had another free gig for a charity that was important to the guitar guy (who wasn't the issue), turns out after 8 months, we couldn't get a whole set ready, so half a set with another band (wtf?). That gig went actually not bad, maybe there is hope. Then more micromanaging emails telling us what we needed to do - drummer just lost it and quit, singer quit, I quit, my wife quit, then got another message saying we were being to hasty and he (problem) was not happy with our progress so he is quitting). So now we have a group, just looking for another couple of guys so we can actually get something together and actually gig for money. Edited October 8, 2019 by Woodinblack Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 43 minutes ago, Monkey Steve said: An old band of mine once got a bad review which specifically mentioned how we all looked like we were in different bands, I’d be wary of getting hung up on one person’s view. Take a wider opinion from close friends to identify whether it’s true and which members are guilty. (It’ll always be the guitarist 😉) One of the band members didn’t understand the difference between having a style and having a uniform. It was either all wearing polo shoes with the band logo on or all wearing the same colour shirts with black trousers and shoes. I’m all for having a homogenous style tailored by each individual, but uniforms are just completely cheesy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 5 minutes ago, Woodinblack said: Constant fiddling with the end of tunes, intros, random middle bits. Basically every practice the tunes had changed for some reason. My brother was in a band like that. He asked me to pop down and record a few tunes for a demo. After 2 hours we had recorded 2 songs, each with three different versions and the songwriter still wanted to change some bits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Steve Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 Just now, TimR said: I’d be wary of getting hung up on one person’s view. Take a wider opinion from close friends to identify whether it’s true and which members are guilty. (It’ll always be the guitarist 😉) One of the band members didn’t understand the difference between having a style and having a uniform. It was either all wearing polo shoes with the band logo on or all wearing the same colour shirts with black trousers and shoes. I’m all for having a homogenous style tailored by each individual, but uniforms are just completely cheesy. we actually disagreed with most of the review (it was so obviously written by a friend of one of the other bands, who played to an almost empty venue because once they started all of our crowd left) but the one point that we did think they'd found with some truth was how we looked on stage. We then went for the "homogeneous style" and left the actual choice of how to apply that to each band member, certainly never a uniform, but the one guitarist decided that it was beneath him so he would make a point of doing the opposite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrtcat Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 I'm much like Blue in regards to the fact that earnings from bass playing make up a significant portion of my income. With this in mind I see bandmates like colleagues rather than mates. Thankfully, with the current band, I get on well with the other members. I would however put up with personality clashes etc within reason as long as the band was working well, was sustainable and was constantly looking at where future work was coming from. The things that would make me quit a band would be: 1. Empty diary with no concrete plan to fill it. 2. No attention to customer satisfaction to an extent that would affect the volume of future work. 3. Lazy approach to learning or a "as long as it's passable it's good enough" approach. 4. No business plan. 5. A "can't do" philosophy. 6. Band rehearses more often than it gigs. 7. Racism, homophobia, sexism or any other prejudice from any member. Beyond that I can cope with a lot. Drummers who can't keep time stress me more than anything else but I can stomach that as long as all the above are avoided. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EBS_freak Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 3 minutes ago, mrtcat said: I'm much like Blue in regards to the fact that earnings from bass playing make up a significant portion of my income. With this in mind I see bandmates like colleagues rather than mates. Thankfully, with the current band, I get on well with the other members. I would however put up with personality clashes etc within reason as long as the band was working well, was sustainable and was constantly looking at where future work was coming from. The things that would make me quit a band would be: 1. Empty diary with no concrete plan to fill it. 2. No attention to customer satisfaction to an extent that would affect the volume of future work. 3. Lazy approach to learning or a "as long as it's passable it's good enough" approach. 4. No business plan. 5. A "can't do" philosophy. 6. Band rehearses more often than it gigs. 7. Racism, homophobia, sexism or any other prejudice from any member. Beyond that I can cope with a lot. Drummers who can't keep time stress me more than anything else but I can stomach that as long as all the above are avoided. You've even let prog pass... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmccombe7 Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 Not progressing fast enough. My absolute time limit for a start up band is 1 year and if not gigging seriously or no sign of gigging then its time to move on. Unsuited personalities within a band. For me we need to get along and be able to openly discuss any issues. Choice of music. I need to enjoy what i'm playing. Been in bands that started of doing what i enjoyed which is usually Classic Rock and over time the set changed more to heavy metal or the other extreme playing pop songs. Too boring for me if i'm not enjoying the songs. Time to move on again. People not putting in the effort. Worst was when i was learning the bass parts and driving 45miles over country roads during winter months to a bands local rehearsal room to find out "they hadn't bothered" and that was a quote. If that happens once i'll accept it but not on a regular basis. As i was the new guy it lasted about 6mths did a couple of gigs and needed to refresh the set with new songs to replace ones that didn't work so well and that was what i got when i arrived. Not good at all. Think that's it for me really. Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caitlin Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 I think my two upsetting band splits were both due to 'stage fright' Any time it looked like were getting anywhere, shows booking up, venue sizes improving there would be a manufactured implosion one way or another to reduce us to square one and back to a hiatus and eventually a pub gig or three. I think they died in the gap between 'authenticity' and 'stage craft' so having not practised doing anything to fill a larger stage, panicking, locking up and standing very very still which isn't the best idea for rock music That and the drummer was the most annoying b*tch on the planet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EliasMooseblaster Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 2 hours ago, Monkey Steve said: We then went for the "homogeneous style" and left the actual choice of how to apply that to each band member, certainly never a uniform, but the one guitarist decided that it was beneath him so he would make a point of doing the opposite Oh dear - arguably, having one member of the band not playing along looks worse than nobody trying it! I do remember sharing a bill with one group where the guitarist and singer were obviously making the effort (leather jackets, dark colours, and other such accessories) but the drummer and bassist were just in hoodies and tracksuit bottoms. It made it look like the rhythm section had failed to turn up and the singer and guitarist had asked the roadies to fill in for them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrtcat Posted October 8, 2019 Share Posted October 8, 2019 1 hour ago, EBS_freak said: You've even let prog pass... Only while there's still plenty of work in the diary.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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