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Reasons for not quitting a band.


radiophonic
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Well the thread about reasons to quit raised all the usual bug-bears of band membership and being an underappreciated bass player in general, so I was thinking positive. I know there are a few Pros on here and a few more who make an effective supplementary income as a player, but most of us don't and even those who do could probably make more doing something else. The hours are long and unsociable, we hang around in bars but can't usually drink, loads of driving, late night load outs, any moderate level of success leads to time away from family and friends, band politics are a fact of life and some guitar amps get louder after the break, all by themselves. I've been doing this for 30 years on and off, but I'm never entirely sure why, other than that playing a good gig is an incomparable experience and somehow overwrites all memory of preceding duds, every single time.

Also, the following exchange at a recent rehearsal raised my morale considerably:

Guitar Player: We really like your playing. I'm not sure if I mentioned it when you joined, but...
Me: (Expecting the worst). Uh?
Guitar Player: We envisage the band's sound as being more bass driven, so you are going to have to turn up.
Me: (In state of disbelief). Well OK, if you insist...

What keeps you going?

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The reason for not quitting one of my bands is the sheer amount of gigs they get, and generally good ones. I love playing the gigs!

The reason for not quitting another one of my bands is the truly amazing music - this band never gigs

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I like being in my band:

I like my bandmates - I would consider them friends but in the same way I'd consider colleagues friends; they socialise together and not often with me but that's fine, I have a young family and although I like a drink I'm beyond going out and getting smashed at the weekend. But they're good guys. I've been in bands with some proper a*******s in the past and my band members certainly aren't a*******s. I joined their band and they welcomed me in.

Our gig frequency is just enough for me, roughly once a month keeps me satisfied.

The fact that we gig keeps me happy - if we never gigged the band would cease to exist.

I feel like my opinion counts; I'm a bit older than them and much more experienced musically. I'm not 'just the bass player'.

The fact that we live close to one another, and that our rehearsal space is exactly one mile from my house.

It's not perfect by any means, and if were entirely down to me there would be some (probably unpopular) changes I would make, but generally I'm happy.

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With caveats and IMO. . . .

Playing in almost any band is night and day better than playing at home.
Playing regularly should make you a better player and keep you match fit.
Playing regularly should be good for your networking and reputation with local musicians.
As long as you're playing songs well, playing in almost any band is a rewarding experience.
As long as you're playing regularly you should be making enough to at least cover your expenses and hopefully more.

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My bandmates are all friends. We all get on like a house on fire, no small feat when there's 12 of you! Our gigs are more like a bit of a party on stage, it's the perfect antodote to a working week. As blue said:[quote name='blue' timestamp='1496742031' post='3313509']
What else would I do?
[/quote]

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Random thoughts: I'm sure my time would be full even if I weren't in a band and I've quit bands before now, due to many of the reasons listed in the other thread. But, assuming for a minute that we follow the 'this is what I do' logic- is it better to be in a band than not, irrespective? Like if you quit and had no other band to join, would that be an improvement over a bad band (use your own definition of bad)? The last band I quit, I really agonised over - even though I was really sick of the patronising 'leader' and no-time drummer - and I'm not sure I would have jumped if there hadn't been a random better offer in the free-ads that week. There definitely feels to me like there's something legitimising about being a bass player in band that makes me put up with things I otherwise wouldn't. I'd certainly never buy any gear unless I was in a band even though there is nothing stopping me playing.

Before we were married, I summed it up to my (now) wife once by saying that although being in a gigging band doesn't, in itself, make me happy exactly, empirically I've never been really happy unless I've been in a gigging band. Even if they aren't very good. This is probably why I get so frustrated when some musicians have seemed hell bent on not making it work for everyone, to their own short term advantage but everyone's long term detriment (i.e. no band).

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Good music that's well executed. Preferably at regular gigs, but for me a good rehearsal can be motivating and uplifting too.
I don't really go in for the social/friendship side of bands. I think it can be counter-productive sometimes.
Some people seem to get upset when I don't want to be "matey", like they needed me to validate them.

I'm not really a misery-guts, honestly 😘

Edited by Len_derby
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Two main reasons for me, firstly to learn faster. Being new to this game it has made me work harder and improve at a rate I could never have done on my own without having to learn to play with others. Gigging after only two months of starting really focussed the mind and I am still less than a year in with a set list 30 songs long and more on the cards. Secondly, My work can be very stressful at times and being in a band with mates from work is the perfect antidote. After a really hard day it's easy to take that stress home, but a couple of hours rehearsing always leaves me far more relaxed.

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Because being in a band is better than not being in a band - at it's root just playing music with other people is better than any alternative thing to be doing with my time. I love gigging, i love rehearsal, I love drinking with band mates and shooting the breeze before/during/after gigs and rehearsals.

A bit glib and reductive perhaps, and back to the OP perhaps a more interesting question would be why do you stay in a band that isn't fun?

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