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Band Stalkers


Norris
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Anyone got one or had one?

We have a young lady and her mother coming to our gig tonight. They saw us at our last gig and there was a little bit of banter. They are now both travelling a fair distance to tonight's gig on the bus. Yesterday the daughter sent 8 messages to our Facebook page - she is so excited, and included a bit of innuendo. She wants to take some photos of the band and give us them on a thumb drive. There have also been hints that they might be struggling to get home afterwards - although no direct request for a lift yet.

Needless to say neither will be stepping into any of our cars and they won't be getting any addresses to send the thumb drive to. Those alarm bells are ringing loud and clear!

Should be an interesting evening

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Brings to mind this joke:[color=#FFFFFF][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][size=3]
A guy ends up wit[color=#222222]A guy ends up with an older woman at a bar last. She looked pretty good for a 55-year-old. In fact, she wasn’t too bad at all, and he found himself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. They drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I’d ever had a “Sportsman’s Double”? “What’s that?” the guy asked. “It’s a mother and daughter threesome.” she said.[/color][/size][/font][/color]
[color=#FFFFFF][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][size=3]
[color=#222222]As the guy’s mind began to embrace the idea, and he wondered what her daughter might look like, he said, “No, I haven’t.” They drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, “tonight’s your lucky night.” They hopped into a taxi and went back to her place. When they arrived back at her place and they walked into the front door, she turned on the hall light and shouted upstairs “Mom… you still awake?”[/color][/size][/font][/color]

[color=#FFFFFF][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][size=3]
[color=#222222]Except not even remotely funny.[/color]h an older woman at a bar last. She looked pretty good for a 55-year-old. In fact, she wasn’t too bad at all, and he found himself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. They drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I’d ever had a “Sportsman’s Double”? “What’s that?” the guy asked. “It’s a mother and daughter threesome.” she said.[/size][/font][/color][color=#FFFFFF][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][size=3]
As the guy’s mind began to embrace the idea, and he wondered what her daughter might look like, he said, “No, I haven’t.” They drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, “tonight’s your lucky night.” They hopped into a taxi and went back to her place. When they arrived back at her place and they walked into the front door, she turned on the hall light and shouted upstairs “Mom… you still awake?”[/size][/font][/color]

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[quote name='Paul S' timestamp='1503671266' post='3360204']
Brings to mind this joke:
[color=#FFFFFF][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][size=3]A guy ends up wit[color=#222222]A guy ends up with an older woman at a bar last. She looked pretty good for a 55-year-old. In fact, she wasn’t too bad at all, and he found himself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. They drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I’d ever had a “Sportsman’s Double”? “What’s that?” the guy asked. “It’s a mother and daughter threesome.” she said.[/color][/size][/font][/color]

[color=#FFFFFF][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][size=3][color=#222222]As the guy’s mind began to embrace the idea, and he wondered what her daughter might look like, he said, “No, I haven’t.” They drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, “tonight’s your lucky night.” They hopped into a taxi and went back to her place. When they arrived back at her place and they walked into the front door, she turned on the hall light and shouted upstairs “Mom… you still awake?”[/color][/size][/font][/color]


[color=#FFFFFF][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][size=3][color=#222222]Except not even remotely funny.[/color]h an older woman at a bar last. She looked pretty good for a 55-year-old. In fact, she wasn’t too bad at all, and he found himself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. They drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I’d ever had a “Sportsman’s Double”? “What’s that?” the guy asked. “It’s a mother and daughter threesome.” she said.[/size][/font][/color]
[color=#FFFFFF][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][size=3]As the guy’s mind began to embrace the idea, and he wondered what her daughter might look like, he said, “No, I haven’t.” They drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, “tonight’s your lucky night.” They hopped into a taxi and went back to her place. When they arrived back at her place and they walked into the front door, she turned on the hall light and shouted upstairs “Mom… you still awake?”[/size][/font][/color]
[/quote]


Lol :D

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The mother is actually hotter than the daughter :)

We don't mind enthusiastic fans, and back in the day we might not have been quite so concerned. However this pair have got all of us hearing alarm bells. The phrase bunny boiler springs to mind - and of course we are all responsible men of the 21st century with partners and children to consider.

Luckily being the ugly bass player sometimes has its advantages. The babe-magnet guitarist is going to have some more adroit side-stepping to do this evening :D

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Slightly OT, we have a few fans who come to see our show regularly, all over the UK.
Two are couples and there are a few single guys and ladies as well, all have been to over 100
of our gigs. Some may think it's a bit crazy, but as someone previously pointed out above, who
knows how their lives pan out and what makes them happy? They are all paying customers too,
and I for one am just grateful they think we're worth it!

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[quote name='Elfrasho' timestamp='1503674631' post='3360243']
As long as a sensible distance is kept then I'm not sure what the problem is.
[/quote]

Exactly. No-one is [i]forcing [/i]you to roger them both in the back of a van while ripped to the tits on drink and drugs. What do you think this is, the twentieth century?? :biggrin:

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[quote name='KevB' timestamp='1503672421' post='3360221']
How times have changed. Back in the day band members would queue up for a mother/daughter threesome in the back of the band van. Or so I'm told...
[/quote]

We must have been in the same band at some stage of the game Kev.

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[quote name='fftc' timestamp='1503674752' post='3360248']
:useless: This thread is worthless without a facebook link! :laugh1:
[/quote]

Not happening - I've not accepted the friend requests! (Which was mentioned by her in one of the messages to the band page)

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Bands I've been in, over the years, have had their fair share of stalkers.

One liked us so much, she moved over the road from a venue we had a weekly residency in. She had a thing for me and kept on trying to entice me over to hers after the gig for a 'party'. Eventually she realised it wasn't going to happen and she got the environmental health out to try to shut the venue down, due to noise pollution.


Another was a guy who offered to be our roadie. I knew he was a nutter but the singer, whose band it was, overruled me and got him to take us to a few gigs in his van.

To cut a long story short, it ended up with death threats, the guy covered in blood dressed in a kilt and a police manhunt.

These days, I can see them coming a mile away and make sure I keep well clear.

Edited by gjones
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About 20 years ago (when we were all still in our late teens) a lady who I'd guess was probably in her mid fifties would always be at all of our gigs at a particular venue and would constantly try to flirt with our (slightly terrified) drummer.
Eventually she obviously couldn't contain her lust any more and at one gig chased him around his kit 3 times before catching him and trying to stick her tongue down his throat.
She then proceeded to describe to him how she fantasised about him every time she had sex with her husband.

He has since emigrated first to Australia and now to Canada although I'm not sure if this was in an attempt to get away from her or not.

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For a while we had a very attractive blonde lady show up at a lot of our gigs. She would stand about a metre or so in front of our singer and dance quite provactivly right in front of him. He didn't know where to look!

The lady in question was as I say very attractive, so much so that if you'd encountered her in a social setting you'd be interested enough to talk to her with the hope that it might possibly go somewhere, however there was something about the look in her eye when she was dancing in front of us that made us all want to steer clear, and in the case of our singer actually hide in the gents until she'd left, on one occasion.

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As expected, the daughter was pretty full on last night, especially once she was tanked up. It went beyond innuendo. The landlady came to our rescue somewhat by hanging around chatting with us after paying us, so that we could finish packing without too much harassment. Eventually their taxi turned up. We're hoping that if they have to rely on public transport the novelty will soon wear off.

It's funny how you can spot them. They've only recently "discovered" us and have only been to a couple of gigs so far. However we could very quickly tell. I've suggested that maybe the guitarist's partner poses as one of our Facebook page admins and reply to the message thread (4 post-gig messages from her last night!) and gently nip it in the bud

Some people eh? What is strange is that the girl is 26. I'm the youngest in the band at 51, the guitarist who is the main object of her affection turns 60 this year!

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