Recruitment + Gumtree = Braindead

[Happy Jack]

From my current advert for a rock'n'roll guitarist:

[i][color=#3C3241][font=Castledown, Arial, sans-serif][size=4]"We're both experienced gigging musicians and we're aiming to gig at least once a month. [/size][/font][/color][/i]

[i][color=#3C3241][font=Castledown, Arial, sans-serif][size=4]We have excellent equipment, including PA and lightshow,[/size][/font][/color]

[color=#3C3241][font=Castledown, Arial, sans-serif][size=4]WE are based in NW London (Kilburn and Harrow), we have our own rehearsal space in Harrow, and we'll be looking for gigs out towards the M25 to the NW of here. [/size][/font][/color]

[color=#3C3241][font=Castledown, Arial, sans-serif][size=4]YOU have your own good equipment and reliable transport, you are free to rehearse once a week, and you have no problem with joining us in searching for venues and punting for gigs."[/size][/font][/color][/i]

************************************************************************************

[u]Text conversation[/u]:

[color=#800000]HIM: I love rockabilly, I live in Watford and would like to try out.[/color]

[color=#0000ff]ME: Have you got any YouTube or similar you can send us?[/color]

[color=#800000]HIM: I'm still learning to be honest but I will pick it up pretty quickly. I have just saved up and got a decent guitar and amp.[/color]

[color=#0000ff]ME: Fair enough, but we need someone at the same experience level as ourselves.[/color]

[color=#800000]HIM: OK, no problem. What level are you? Can I see your band on YouTube?[/color]

[color=#0000ff]ME: ??? Did you not look at the advert?[/color]

[color=#800000]HIM: Sorry, I did, but I'm out at the minute.[/color]

[b][color=#ff0000]GAME OVER[/color][/b]
[b][color=#ff0000]INSERT NEW COIN[/color][/b]

[Dad3353]

[quote name='Happy Jack' timestamp='1504097416' post='3362654']
From my current advert for a rock'n'roll guitarist...
[/quote]



Please keep posting the (tons of...) replies you're bound to get; I'm in need of good material to keep my spirits up at the moment, and this is perfect stuff for that. The topic may get to be a bit long, perhaps; no bad thing (for us reading it, anyway..! ). "More..! More..!" they cried...

Edited August 30, 2017 by Dad3353

[tonyquipment]

GAME OVER LOL

Top bants

[bazzbass]

I just bought "Guitar for Dummies"

I'm already up to page four, can I join your band? I'm gonna be really good, I just KNOW it

[Monkey Steve]

nothing like a bit of confidence, but mainly it's good that they were honest, and you should be glad that he told you before you'd hired a studio...the amount of singers I've auditioned that have no experience, don't think they need to bother learning the songs and can't actually hold a tune...

[Dad3353]

[quote name='Monkey Steve' timestamp='1504107729' post='3362733']
nothing like a bit of confidence, but mainly it's good that they were honest, and you should be glad that he told you before you'd hired a studio...the amount of singers I've auditioned that have no experience, don't think they need to bother learning the songs and can't actually hold a tune...
[/quote]

You've auditioned Neil Young..?

[keeponehandloose]

I suspect your versions of rock and roll will be poles apart...
Rockabilly fans can be the most narrow minded of species..

[blue]

[quote name='Monkey Steve' timestamp='1504107729' post='3362733']
nothing like a bit of confidence, but mainly it's good that they were honest, and you should be glad that he told you before you'd hired a studio...the amount of singers I've auditioned that have no experience, don't think they need to bother learning the songs and can't actually hold a tune...
[/quote]

If your a working band and in it for the money, with few exceptions I wouldn't audition anyone without current relevant gigging experience.

Many newbies have no clue what it takes to play 3 four hour bar gigs Friday, Saturday & Sunday.

Blue

Edited August 30, 2017 by blue

[Painy]

After nearly 3 months and half a dozen auditions, last night we finally found ourselves a fantastic new singer (our current singer is leaving due to a career change).
The mountain of time wasters we've had to struggle through to get there though has been genuinely painful at times - to the extent that after 21 years as a band we've even considered packing it all in in sheer frustration at times.
Just glad the search is over and we can get rehearsing now.

[Dad3353]

[quote name='Painy' timestamp='1504127860' post='3362921']...
Just glad the search is over and we can get rehearsing now.
[/quote]

I give it three weeks..!

...

No, seriously; well done, and good luck with the new formation.

[peteb]

[quote name='blue' timestamp='1504123069' post='3362889']

Many newbies have no clue what it takes to play 3 four hour bar gigs Friday, Saturday & Sunday.

[/quote]
To be fair, neither do I

[blue]

[quote name='peteb' timestamp='1504135634' post='3362975']

To be fair, neither do I
[/quote]

I bet you have a pretty good idea what it's like Pete.😁

Blue

[dave_bass5]

We (singer, bass and drums) were looking for a new guitarist last year (we had gigs booked). We had a reply from a guy who has enough experience and knows whats what. We send him a set list and he says give me a week and we can get together. the day comes and we meet up at our rehearsal studio. He walks in and sets up.

Singer. "Did you go over our set, everything ok?"
Him: "Sorry, i haven't had time to go over any of them, but i have my set list here, we can do those"
Me: "Sorry, i havent had time to go over your list, lets do ours LOL".

We look on his ipad and its pretty much songs we know so its all good, but i wonder why he didnt even know we were doing a lot of those.

Him: Can i use that mic? (points to singers mic/stand)". What do you play (to singer)?"
Singer: "im the singer"
Him: "oh, i thought you needed a singer as well"

We actual gigged with him for about 6 months, but we had to drop quite a few songs with guitar solos in them, as he was embarrassing. We did learn a few new songs so he could sing them, but his guitar style was just not up to scratch. dry distortion on everything, with a bit more distortion on the louder songs.

I appreciate the story isnt as funny as some, but it was one of those 'WTF' moments that beggars belief.

The guy he was replacing was good but travelled around the world for work so wasnt reliable, and started to question why were were playing hour and a half sets at social clubs, because thats too long to play without a break and we should insist on no more than 2 x45 mins. He didnt have a bloody clue about the social club gigging circuit.

Edited August 31, 2017 by dave_bass5

[Monkey Steve]

[quote name='dave_bass5' timestamp='1504188512' post='3363269']
We (singer, bass and drums) were looking for a new guitarist last year (we had gigs booked). We had a reply from a guy who has enough experience and knows whats what. We send him a set list and he says give me a week and we can get together. the day comes and we meet up at our rehearsal studio. He walks in and sets up.

Singer. "Did you go over our set, everything ok?"
Him: "Sorry, i haven't had time to go over any of them, but i have my set list here, we can do those"
Me: "Sorry, i havent had time to go over your list, lets do ours LOL".

We look on his ipad and its pretty much songs we know so its all good, but i wonder why he didnt even know we were doing a lot of those.

Him: Can i use that mic? (points to singers mic/stand)". What do you play (to singer)?"
Singer: "im the singer"
Him: "oh, i thought you needed a singer as well"

We actual gigged with him for about 6 months, but we had to drop quite a few songs with guitar solos in them, as he was embarrassing. We did learn a few new songs so he could sing them, but his guitar style was just not up to scratch. dry distortion on everything, with a bit more distortion on the louder songs.

I appreciate the story isnt as funny as some, but it was one of those 'WTF' moments that beggars belief.

The guy he was replacing was good but travelled around the world for work so wasnt reliable, and started to question why were were playing hour and a half sets at social clubs, because thats too long to play without a break and we should insist on no more than 2 x45 mins. He didnt have a bloody clue about the social club gigging circuit.
[/quote]

I feel your pain. Mostly (as above) from singers, who audition for originals bands saying that they haven't had time to learn any of the songs we sent them a couple of weeks earlier and do we know *some random cover*? Er, no, we don't play covers, let's try one of the ones you're supposed to have been learning (very poor audition follows, always)

Or they'll say that they have learned the songs and then demonstrate that they very clearly haven't, singing in the wrong places with no idea of the song's structure or vocal melody.

Had one once who did listen to the demo and decided that he would re-write all of the lyrics and vocal melodies - he thought to show off his skills, but as he conceded when i told him that he hadn't got the job, perhaps it was a mistake to not be singing the lines that we would be judging him on, and treating it like a song writing session, to see what worked and what didn't.

Although...

the best singer I've ever had at an audition was for a covers band. He walks in, says that he's learned a couple from the list we sent him but doesn't know them that well, can he start with Whole Lotta Rosie (one of the first songs we agreed we wouldn't do because it's too hackneyed) just to get warmed up? We all look at each other, everybody except me knows it backwards and I figure that I can busk it well enough, so OK, let's give that a quick run through.

He knocks it out of the park. Turns out he was also in an AC/DC tribute band, and now sings the AC/DC parts in Chris Slade's band. He goes outside for a fag and we all look at each other, grin, and agree to ask him to join.

I asked him about it afterwards. Told me he knew it was his best audition piece and would get him hired, whereas doing the stuff we'd suggested would be less polished.

Edited August 31, 2017 by Monkey Steve

[PaulWarning]

I think anybody who walks into a audition with the line "Haven't had time to learn any of the songs you sent me, but it's ok I'm good at winging it" should be instantly shown the door, on the other hand any band that ask someone to learn an entire set for an audition is taking the piss

[dave_bass5]

[quote name='PaulWarning' timestamp='1504198933' post='3363374']
I think anybody who walks into a audition with the line "Haven't had time to learn any of the songs you sent me, but it's ok I'm good at winging it" should be instantly shown the door, on the other hand any band that ask someone to learn an entire set for an audition is taking the piss
[/quote]

Well to be fair, my guy didnt say he would wing it. It just so happened his set list had a lot of songs we were also doing. They just werent the ones we had asked him to learn and it could have been a complete waste of our time.

Jumping forward to this year we had (until a few days ago) a guitarist who gave us a long list of songs that he knew, but it turned out he didnt really know how to play them very well. Had all the talk, knew all the tech stuff about the keys etc, but when it came to playing the songs, it was depressing. Had a few rehearsals but even our drummer had to tell him what was needed for some of the most basic cover songs. Had a huge array of FX, all sounded tinny and lacking substance. Even said we couldn't do Stuck in the Middle because it has two guitar parts. Same with Great balls of fire. Couldn't do that as its piano heavy and he couldn't get the guitar to fit (and we dont have a keyboard player). There was always a reason why we couldn't get through any of the basic covers, and this form a guy who had been gigging covers for years.
Really nice bloke but after all these years of making sure i turn up and i do the job i just dont have the patience to be in a band with people who spend MY time working out their parts at rehearsals because they haven't done their homework,

Give me someone that can wing it every time over someone who talks the talk but ends up with excuses and no result.

Sorry, rant over......

Edited August 31, 2017 by dave_bass5

[PaulWarning]

[quote name='dave_bass5' timestamp='1504199892' post='3363385']
Well to be fair, my guy didnt say he would wing it. It just so happened his set list had a lot of songs we were also doing. They just werent the ones we had asked him to learn and it could have been a complete waste of our time.

Jumping forward to this year we had (until a few days ago) a guitarist who gave us a long list of songs that he knew, but it turned out he didnt really know how to play them very well. Had all the talk, knew all the tech stuff about the keys etc, but when it came to playing the songs, it was depressing. Had a few rehearsals but even our drummer had to tell him what was needed for some of the most basic cover songs. Had a huge array of FX, all sounded tinny and lacking substance. Even said we couldn't do Stuck in the Middle because it has two guitar parts. Same with Great balls of fire. Couldn't do that as its piano heavy and he couldn't get the guitar to fit (and we dont have a keyboard player). There was always a reason why we couldn't get through any of the basic covers, and this form a guy who had been gigging covers for years.
Really nice bloke but after all these years of making sure i turn up and i do the job i just dont have the patience to be in a band with people who spend MY time working out their parts at rehearsals because they haven't done their homework,

Give me someone that can wing it every time over someone who talks the talk but ends up with excuses and no result.

Sorry, rant over......
[/quote]my comment wasn't aimed at your post, just a general comment about auditioning new band members, if they can't be bothered to learn a couple of songs for an audition it doesn't bode well for the future I would have thought

[dmccombe7]

Well it certainly made me laugh this morning.
Thanks for posting

Now where's my book of notes and dot thingy's

Don't think i could play 4 nights in a row either to be fair altho never tried. 2 nights is most i've done and found the playing easy enough but the lack of sleep was a killer between the gigs. Didn't help that we stayed up till 4am drinking Irish whisky tho.

Dave

[ambient]

Gumtree is great for selling stuff, rubbish for anything else.

I advertised an experimental music event that I organise, the amount of acoustic guitar playing singer songwriters who contacted me was ridiculous.

[Happy Jack]

But were they experimental?

[blue]

[quote name='dave_bass5' timestamp='1504188512' post='3363269']


We actual gigged with him for about 6 months, but we had to drop quite a few songs with guitar solos in them, as he was embarrassing. We did learn a few new songs so he could sing them, but his guitar style was just not up to scratch. dry distortion on everything, with a bit more distortion on the louder songs.[/quote]

Guys,

This is a little off topic. However regarding a musicians sound or effects one uses;

I think this should be covered at any traditional audition for a "for profit" band.

I use my bass octave pedal quite a bit especially in trio configurations. I feel it beefs up the sound. I also use chorus and a little distortion or overdrive for sustain.

I will request we run through a few bars of a song to acclimate the band to my sound and volume level. Another thing I want to make sure all member can hear me and get some sort of understanding of my style and approach to playing bass.

This way if my sound or style is a problem and doesn't fit I can make revisions or quick adjustment to meet or give them what they're looking for.

Can you imagine losing an opportunity because after the fact they said " we couldn't hear you"

Even good bands can be amaturish when it comes to the audition process.

Make sense?

Blue

Edited September 1, 2017 by blue

[blue]

[quote name='dmccombe7' timestamp='1504254463' post='3363632']
Well it certainly made me laugh this morning.
Thanks for posting

Now where's my book of notes and dot thingy's

Don't think i could play 4 nights in a row either to be fair altho never tried. 2 nights is most i've done and found the playing easy enough but the lack of sleep was a killer between the gigs. Didn't help that we stayed up till 4am drinking Irish whisky tho.

Dave
[/quote]

US 4 hour bar gigs, after tear down with a 30 minute commute I'm lucky to get home by 3:00.

Blue

[blue]

[quote name='PaulWarning' timestamp='1504204037' post='3363421']
my comment wasn't aimed at your post, just a general comment about auditioning new band members, if they can't be bothered to learn a couple of songs for an audition it doesn't bode well for the future I would have thought
[/quote]

So very true.

I can't imagine these types are speedy with learning new material.

Blue

[JimBobTTD]

I have experienced something similar. I have an ad on LinkedIn for a German-speaking salesperson. I would say that under 20% of all applications have been from people who have listed an ability to speak German on their CV.

What would be good would be a place where people can place ads for themselves, keep them up to date and completely true. Think how great the world would be! "Guitarist, 31, a bit rusty after a 12 year break, wasn't very good before I stopped, looking for a band of which is looking for a new Slash."

[PaulWarning]

some of the trouble may be people trying to improve their playing by performing with better musicians than they are, frustrating if you're one of the better musos, or trying to find out how good they are, as well as the totally delusional ones.