A guitarist is auditioned and can't take a "no thanks"

[mcnach]

New project being formed... we have a first meet and see what we feel like. The core is drummer, sax and bass: we play together in another band and we're starting something else. We got a singer and a guitarist to try. Both looked good on paper.

Singer was very good. No problem.

Guitarist... was knowledgeable enough, and his technique was right, but pretty much only played a couple of bluesy numbers, and murdered Brown Sugar with excessive distortion and a bassy guitar sound. In general he was out of tune too. We didn't gel, musically or personally. He would argue about keys, despite the fact that the singer had specified the keys for the songs with discussed... He was just hard work, not fun, and musically uninspiring at best. And a bit of a 'guitar hero' too...

After we part ways, we talk about it and we unanimously decide that we don't need to see this guy again.

Drummer writes a simple message to him along the lines of "thank you, but we think you're not what we're after, good luck, etc". Nothing offensive or anything.

Then the guy just went on and on about how we feel threatened because he is better, and he's got so much experience, etc etc.
He sounded insane.
He was a little odd in person, but after I saw that... I was very glad we didn't waste any more time with him. Seven or eight messages later, he disappeared. I hope for good.

I laughed but... it was sad. He was genuinely feeling hard done by and tried to insult us (must try harder)... and somehow we are idiots for not recognising his value and not wanting to play with him. What planet does he live in? Immensely deluded.

A bullet well dodged.

Has anybody come across people like this guy? It's a first for me.

[Cato]

Sounds dangerously close to that guy who practices ear splitting solos while rest of the band is trying to discuss song arrangements, presumably because he's already decided what he's going to do in that song.

As you say, a bullet dodged.

[fleabag]

[quote name='Cato' timestamp='1508969875' post='3395776']
Sounds dangerously close to that guy who practices ear splitting solos while rest of the band is trying to discuss song arrangements, presumably because he's already decided what he's going to do in that song.

As you say, a bullet dodged.
[/quote]

Ditto, but this gitwrist was already in the band when i joined. I left before we got too many rehearsals in , as i knew i was wasting my time

[xgsjx]

I've had him in several guises. Both as a guitarist & as a singer.
I think the problem is that there are too many people who want to "play" guitar or "sing" in a band, but they haven't attained the required skills.

[tonyquipment]

More ego than skill. Sounds like a total loonball

[stingrayPete1977]

[quote name='tonyquipment' timestamp='1509001001' post='3395838']
More ego than skill. Sounds like a guitarist.
[/quote]

[gjones]

I would have rephrased the message you sent, in order to prevent his ego being bruised. After all nobody likes rejection.

I would have said that the original guitarist has decided to rejoin the band and tell the auditioner that they were amazing and thank them for their time.

Guitarists have fragile egos at the best of times. It's best to treat them gently.

[PaulWarning]

[quote name='Cato' timestamp='1508969875' post='3395776']
Sounds dangerously close to that guy who practices ear splitting solos while rest of the band is trying to discuss song arrangements, presumably because he's already decided what he's going to do in that song.

[/quote]drummers do that too

[Grangur]

[quote name='PaulWarning' timestamp='1509002544' post='3395856']
drummers do that too
[/quote]
Are you certain there are no bass players out there who never stop practising their slap chops through every minor break in the action?

Thankfully we don't get to meet them too often.

Edited October 26, 2017 by Grangur

[PawelG]

I used to know a guy, who just couldn't hear that he doesn't sound good. He would listen to good music, but his playing was lacking a lot of stuff, mainly rhythm. And he couldn't hear it. If you gave him tips, and he applied them - it got better, but after a while, he decided that he knows best, and he'll continue to play as he thinks ''sounds right''. Very painful if you had to listen to it...

Well done for avoiding future waste of time.

[fretmeister]

[quote name='Grangur' timestamp='1509004024' post='3395869']
Are you certain there are no bass players out there who never stop practising their slap chops through every minor break in the action?

Thankfully we don't get to meet them too often.
[/quote]

You know the rule - if you haven't met one - it's you!

[Grangur]

[quote name='fretmeister' timestamp='1509004146' post='3395872']
You know the rule - if you haven't met one - it's you!


[/quote]

No not me! I keep practising in the breaks in rehearsals. I think I'm getting quite good now. Well, it was going well, but they just fired me! Said their old bass player is coming back!

Funny thing is, he died.

[SpondonBassed]

[quote name='mcnach' timestamp='1508967768' post='3395759']
New project being formed... we have a first meet and see what we feel like. The core is drummer, sax and bass: we play together in another band and we're starting something else. We got a singer and a guitarist to try. Both looked good on paper.

Singer was very good. No problem.

Guitarist... was knowledgeable enough, and his technique was right, but pretty much only played a couple of bluesy numbers, and murdered Brown Sugar with excessive distortion and a bassy guitar sound. In general he was out of tune too. We didn't gel, musically or personally. He would argue about keys, despite the fact that the singer had specified the keys for the songs with discussed... He was just hard work, not fun, and musically uninspiring at best. And a bit of a 'guitar hero' too...

After we part ways, we talk about it and we unanimously decide that we don't need to see this guy again.

Drummer writes a simple message to him along the lines of "thank you, but we think you're not what we're after, good luck, etc". Nothing offensive or anything.

Then the guy just went on and on about how we feel threatened because he is better, and he's got so much experience, etc etc.
[size=6]He sounded insane[/size].
He was a little odd in person, but after I saw that... I was very glad we didn't waste any more time with him. Seven or eight messages later, he disappeared. I hope for good.

I laughed but... it was sad. He was genuinely feeling hard done by and tried to insult us (must try harder)... and somehow we are idiots for not recognising his value and not wanting to play with him. [size=6]What planet does he live in? Immensely deluded.[/size]

A bullet well dodged.

Has anybody come across people like this guy? It's a first for me.
[/quote]

The highlighted bits of your OP have summed it up for me. Even now he's wasting your time because you are still discussing it. It's best not to mock the afflicted and moving on was the right thing for your band to do. He'll find a place somewhere.

[SpondonBassed]

[quote name='Grangur' timestamp='1509004849' post='3395877']
No not me! I keep practising in the breaks in rehearsals. I think I'm getting quite good now. Well, it was going well, but they just fired me! Said their old bass player is coming back!

Funny thing is, he died.
[/quote]

Heeheehee

[Marc S]

[quote name='gjones' timestamp='1509002256' post='3395852']
I would have rephrased the message you sent, in order to prevent his ego being bruised. After all nobody likes rejection.

I would have said that the original guitarist has decided to rejoin the band and tell the auditioner that they were amazing and thank them for their time.

Guitarists have fragile egos at the best of times. It's best to treat them gently.
[/quote]

I've met a few people like the OP describes - mainly guitarists, but a few keyboard players too...
gjones's idea above is great - might need that in future!

(PS. I suppose the only downfall with this suggestion, is the guy still seeing the ad around weeks later lol)

[PaulWarning]

[quote name='Grangur' timestamp='1509004024' post='3395869']
Are you certain there are no bass players out there who never stop practising their slap chops through every minor break in the action?

Thankfully we don't get to meet them too often.
[/quote]I keep meaning to go on Guitarchat, if there is one, to find out what they say about bass players

[steantval]

[quote name='gjones' timestamp='1509002256' post='3395852']
I would have rephrased the message you sent, in order to prevent his ego being bruised. After all nobody likes rejection.

I would have said that the original guitarist has decided to rejoin the band and tell the auditioner that they were amazing and thank them for their time.

Guitarists have fragile egos at the best of times. It's best to treat them gently.
[/quote]

I cannot understand why you would go to these lengths and fib to the guy, there are usually only two outcomes for someone auditioning, you either get the job or you don't.
People need to toughen up a bit, there is too much molly coddling around the possibility of upsetting people in situations like this.
Rejection is part of life, it happens everyday to people who apply for jobs, get to final interview stage and fail to get the role.

[mcnach]

[quote name='gjones' timestamp='1509002256' post='3395852']
I would have rephrased the message you sent, in order to prevent his ego being bruised. After all nobody likes rejection.

I would have said that the original guitarist has decided to rejoin the band and tell the auditioner that they were amazing and thank them for their time.

Guitarists have fragile egos at the best of times. It's best to treat them gently.
[/quote]


The original message was very non-judgemental!

Nobody likes rejection, but it's a risk we all run when going for a test with a band. I'd be respectful and won't criticise but if someone is not what I'm after I won't make up lies just in case he's a lunatic with a fragile ego

[mcnach]

[quote name='SpondonBassed' timestamp='1509004891' post='3395879']
The highlighted bits of your OP have summed it up for me. Even now he's wasting your time because you are still discussing it. It's best not to mock the afflicted and moving on was the right thing for your band to do. He'll find a place somewhere.
[/quote]

Indeed... but it takes a while to recover from the experience

I hope he indeed finds a place.
Far.
Far away.
A bad guitar player is one thing, but his attitude just reeks and there's nothing nice I could say to the guy if/when I come across him next time.

[mcnach]

[quote name='Marc S' timestamp='1509005130' post='3395883']
I've met a few people like the OP describes - mainly guitarists, but a few keyboard players too...
gjones's idea above is great - might need that in future!

(PS. I suppose the only downfall with this suggestion, is the guy still seeing the ad around weeks later lol)
[/quote]


especially if it's a new band and there was no previous guitarist... although for that reason I love the suggestion. The thing is I did not know he was like that until we told him. Had I known this is how he'd take it, oh yes... I'd use that line and stand back with pop corn.

[mcnach]

[quote name='PaulWarning' timestamp='1509005294' post='3395887']
I keep meaning to go on Guitarchat, if there is one, to find out what they say about bass players
[/quote]

It's boring.
Endless threads about how lovely their bass players are. Sickening, really.

[mcnach]

[quote name='steantval' timestamp='1509006526' post='3395900']
I cannot understand why you would go to these lengths and fib to the guy, there are usually only two outcomes for someone auditioning, you either get the job or you don't.
People need to toughen up a bit, there is too much molly coddling around the possibility of upsetting people in situations like this.
Rejection is part of life, it happens everyday to people who apply for jobs, get to final interview stage and fail to get the role.
[/quote]

I suspect gjones was not being entirely serious

[Monkey Steve]

Never had that level of delusional snowflakery but did once audition a singer who had a great, obviously trained voice, for, say opera, maybe folk or jazz at a push, not such a great fit for the indy/punk/metal band that we were. So we e-mailed her to say that while we didn't think how she sang on the day was a good fit for how we sounded but she can obviously sing, would she like to try again if she thought she could tailor her voice more to our sound, put a bit more dirt under the fingernails sort of thing.

Her reply was a very succinct "why would i waste my time?"

Fair enough

Sent my fair number of "sorry, we didn't think you were the right fit" even if what we mean is "but you can't even sing!!! what were you doing there in the first place? of course we're not taking you on" But never "sorry we've found someone else" if we haven't as I never fancied having that awkward conversation about why our ad is still up.

Though there have been a few awkward ones where people have responded to ads with links to them singing and they just aren't right - it's one thing telling somebody who's auditioned that they haven't got in, but telling somebody that you've heard their tape and don't even want to audition them is a bit of a slap in the face no matter how you dress it up.

the best response I ever got was from a guy who was an excellent singer, but who made a real mess of his audition (decided to bin the lyrics and melodies from the demo we sent him to show us his writing skills...only he hadn't actually finished any of the songs so none of it quite worked and certainly wasn't better than what was on the demo; came with a new vocal effects pedal that he wanted to try out so spent half his audition playing about with odd sounds on that rather than showing us that he had a good voice) and rubbed a lot of the band up the wrong way. i was all for giving him another try but was outvoted. he came back to ask for more detail on what we didn't like - not to argue the toss, but he knew he'd messed up and just wanted to know how he could avoid doing it again

[thepurpleblob]

It's a chance you take going to an audition. I've failed auditions, been sacked from bands - sometimes politely, sometimes not. It's all part of the fun. It's character building I suppose. Whenever I've had to reject or sack someone myself it's rarely been personal so I wouldn't take being on the other end that way myself.

The best thing to have in music is a bit of humility. People who think they are the greatest are best avoided.

[gjones]

[quote name='mcnach' timestamp='1509006681' post='3395901']

I won't make up lies just in case he's a lunatic with a fragile ego
[/quote]

I've had dealings with lunatic musicians with fragile egos before (a particular Edinburgh drummer who shall remain nameless). Now I just assume all musicians are potential psychopaths.

It's safer that way.