A guitarist is auditioned and can't take a "no thanks"

[yorks5stringer]

I must have mentioned the drummer with electronic drums I auditioned once who proceeded to play us the end of the 'Eastenders Theme' as proof he could play.....?

[leschirons]

I've met a few people who don't really understand what "audition" means.

Audition means, audition, not job offer😂

[Beedster]

[quote name='Grangur' timestamp='1509004024' post='3395869']
Are you certain there are no bass players out there who never stop practising their slap chops through every minor break in the action?

Thankfully we don't get to meet them too often.
[/quote]

I was sacked by a band a few years ago, largely 'cos the guitarist said I wasn't putting in enough effort. He owned the van, the PA, the singer's expensive mic, and therefore the band. The catalyst to the sacking was my repeatedly playing one note in an Eagles track at odds with the recorded version, no joke. I kept doing it because I preferred it, he got really wound up every gig. Amusingly, I was asked back once they realised that 'lack of effort' equated to "generally playing what the song needed" as opposed to "riffing the f**k out of every song", which was apparently what every other bassist did at audition. I politely declined

Key point is that I know one of the bassists that auditioned and he was pretty furious to be knocked back, saying with a straight face that he was a much better bassist than the band were were guitarist/drummer/singer, which was probably true.

[Rich]

Hell hath no fury like a guitarist scorned

[Grangur]

[quote name='Beedster' timestamp='1509043235' post='3396305']
I was sacked by a band a few years ago, largely 'cos the guitarist said I wasn't putting in enough effort. He owned the van, the PA, the singer's expensive mic, and therefore the band. The catalyst to the sacking was my repeatedly playing one note in an Eagles track at odds with the recorded version, no joke. I kept doing it because I preferred it, he got really wound up every gig. Amusingly, I was asked back once they realised that 'lack of effort' equated to "generally playing what the song needed" as opposed to "riffing the f**k out of every song", which was apparently what every other bassist did at audition. I politely declined

Key point is that I know one of the bassists that auditioned and he was pretty furious to be knocked back, saying with a straight face that he was a much better bassist than the band were guitarist/drummer/singer, which was probably true.
[/quote]

There is, of course, the possibility of being too good. You might intimidate them by having the ability to play what your imagination tells you is right.
Maybe having an imagination is bad too?

[Beedster]

[quote name='Grangur' timestamp='1509045171' post='3396315']
There is, of course, the possibility of being too good. You might intimidate them by having the ability to play what your imagination tells you is right.
Maybe having an imagination is bad too?
[/quote]

Possibly, I think it's an issue of 'technically good' versus 'musically good', but that's another story of course

[jezzaboy]

I was once stalked on the phone by a middle aged woman from Kilmarnock who wanted to audition as a singer for a band I was trying to get together.

Talking to her on the phone, I could tell she was a nutter and send her a text saying we were really looking for a male vocalist, I should have put this in the ad etc.

She tried to call me 3 times and sent about 5 texts in one day telling me she was the person for our band. In the end I had to block her. Thank god I used my spare mobile for the advert.

[SisterAbdullahX]

Had a guitarist years ago answer an ad for a club band I was in. I took an instant dislike to him, absolutely full of himself, pain in the arse to spend even five minutes with. He turned up to a few gigs with his wife before his audition in an attempt to ingratiate himself further and give himself what he thought would be a head start over the other prospective candidates. I remember him standing with his wife talking to the bandleader about the bandleader's holiday and saying "me and the wife love it there, we should all go there together next year!" I made my feelings clear about him early on but the bandleader wanted to give him a try. He was given three or four songs to learn with about two weeks to learn them. We set up during the day at this club so he and another chap could come and audition. I remember dreading it. Gets to the time he was due to arrive, no show...half an hour goes by, still no sign, bandleader phones him and he says he's lost, even though this was a particularly well known venue, about an hour goes by before he bursts in, again with his wife, pissed and stinking of beer, all flustered. Rushes to get his gear in then to my absolute delight puts in the worst audition performance I think I've ever heard, clearly did next to zero preparation, could hardly make it through a song without making the most horrendous bum-note laden racket. It was a joy to watch! He then tried to say "no no, I just need to get myself together, give me another try" to which the drummer and myself got up and walked out the room. He at least had the good grace to have left before we came back. He still had the cheek to phone the bandleader a few days later to beg for another try! What a wally!

[Woodinblack]

[quote name='Grangur' timestamp='1509045171' post='3396315']
There is, of course, the possibility of being too good. You might intimidate them by having the ability to play what your imagination tells you is right.
Maybe having an imagination is bad too?
[/quote]

Also an audition works both ways, its not just for the group to decide if the auditioned is good enough / right fit, its also for the auditioner to check out the band. If a guitarist decides the band are not good enough for them, that is just as much of a good outcome.

Certainly if I went to an audition and they thought I overplayed, then it would be good to be knocked back as I wouldn't want to be in a group where I was being pushed down, I would never be a good fit.

But if you aren't accepted or kicked out, then leave it and move on to the next thing!

[mcnach]

[quote name='EliasMooseblaster' timestamp='1509021797' post='3396088']
His name isn't the same as a geographical feature which might be found above a beach or coastline, is it?

Yeah, the Ian Siegal story should be taken with a pinch of salt as I got it second-hand from a friend, who'd was already hanging around the London blues jam circuit back when Ian was still hosting one of the more popular ones. Apparently this guitarist (let's call him Geographical Feature) was a regular and notorious over-player at this jam. One night, Ian put a new punter up to play guitar alongside Geographical, and the new punter assumed that the other players might be as polite as he was, and would solo for one or two turnarounds before passing over to somebody else.

Not Geographical. In the time it took for the V7 chord to resolve to the root, his face apparently went from full-on lead guitar gurn to shocked and appalled as this greenhorn started to play - didn't he realise that Geographical was entitled to at least four turnarounds to fully express his musical vision? After the set, Geographical dragged this poor chap outside to remonstrate with him. Word got around to Ian that things seemed to be kicking off, and he thought it best to come to the new punter's aid.

My friend happened to be near the door when Ian stormed back in.
"You will not BELIEVE what that ***** said to me." Ian fumed to him.
My friend invited Ian to indulge his curiosity.
"He said, 'all these new people are just tourists. I'm a bluesman.'"
Geographical nipped back in, avoiding any eye contact, packed up his guitar and scarpered. My friend believed that Ian had told the guy to sling his hook before he thumped him.

So yeah, even though I wasn't there to witness things first-hand, I found myself on Ian's side too. Especially any time I bumped into Geographical playing at another blues jam.
[/quote]

My guy wasn't Geographical (love it!) but that was a great story, thank you for sharing

[mcnach]

[quote name='EliasMooseblaster' timestamp='1509021797' post='3396088']
His name isn't the same as a geographical feature which might be found above a beach or coastline, is it?

Yeah, the Ian Siegal story should be taken with a pinch of salt as I got it second-hand from a friend, who'd was already hanging around the London blues jam circuit back when Ian was still hosting one of the more popular ones. Apparently this guitarist (let's call him Geographical Feature) was a regular and notorious over-player at this jam. One night, Ian put a new punter up to play guitar alongside Geographical, and the new punter assumed that the other players might be as polite as he was, and would solo for one or two turnarounds before passing over to somebody else.

Not Geographical. In the time it took for the V7 chord to resolve to the root, his face apparently went from full-on lead guitar gurn to shocked and appalled as this greenhorn started to play - didn't he realise that Geographical was entitled to at least four turnarounds to fully express his musical vision? After the set, Geographical dragged this poor chap outside to remonstrate with him. Word got around to Ian that things seemed to be kicking off, and he thought it best to come to the new punter's aid.

My friend happened to be near the door when Ian stormed back in.
"You will not BELIEVE what that ***** said to me." Ian fumed to him.
My friend invited Ian to indulge his curiosity.
"He said, 'all these new people are just tourists. I'm a bluesman.'"
Geographical nipped back in, avoiding any eye contact, packed up his guitar and scarpered. My friend believed that Ian had told the guy to sling his hook before he thumped him.

So yeah, even though I wasn't there to witness things first-hand, I found myself on Ian's side too. Especially any time I bumped into Geographical playing at another blues jam.
[/quote]

oh wait... you mean first name or surname? The surname might just fit! Can't be... 5 letter first name, 6 letter surname?

[mcnach]

[quote name='SpondonBassed' timestamp='1509025120' post='3396124']
Microwave popcorn? Feck that!

In my band we pop corn over nicely overdriven valve heads in lidded pans with a little peanut oil and serve with melted butter and a touch of nutmeg while the guitarist tunes all five of his axes and arranges his pedals in a pretty daisy chain. That's got to be on my rider before I'll even look at your band.
[/quote]

Oh! can *I* join your band then???

[mcnach]

[quote name='Beedster' timestamp='1509045610' post='3396322']
Possibly, I think it's an issue of 'technically good' versus 'musically good', but that's another story of course
[/quote]

That's another thing that sometimes happens. I have a friend who can play very complicated things on his guitar. But when it comes to joining others, he just can't do it. He sounds contrived and mechanical... but the thing is the guy knows a lot, and has the technical ability, but I think he is just used to copying other people's work without really absorbing the material. I've tried to encourage him to just join bands, as I think once he loosens up he could potentially be very good... but he's not comfortable and prefers to just play at home.

[mcnach]

[quote name='Woodinblack' timestamp='1509055241' post='3396405']
Also an audition works both ways, its not just for the group to decide if the auditioned is good enough / right fit, its also for the auditioner to check out the band. If a guitarist decides the band are not good enough for them, that is just as much of a good outcome.

Certainly if I went to an audition and they thought I overplayed, then it would be good to be knocked back as I wouldn't want to be in a group where I was being pushed down, I would never be a good fit.

But if you aren't accepted or kicked out, then leave it and move on to the next thing!
[/quote]

Exactly.

I've been to auditions where I got offered the part and I declined. Not necessarily because they weren't good enough, but because either I got a personal vibe that I didn't like, or I just didn't think it was what I wanted to play after all... so I didn't think they were suitable for me, I declined, and that's it... we both keep looking, nobody dies, no big deal.

[SpondonBassed]

[quote name='mcnach' timestamp='1509063115' post='3396436']

Oh! can *I* join your band then???
[/quote]

If you come with your own nutmeg grater, sure.

Heeheehee

[size=3](Don't tell them on the [i]Join My Band[/i] topic but I've just re-subscribed to that service and will be recruiting soon)[/size]

[SpondonBassed]

[quote name='Rich' timestamp='1509043790' post='3396308']
Hell hath no fury like a guitarist scorned
[/quote]

Surely that's a sixist remark?

[SpondonBassed]

[quote name='SisterAbdullahX' timestamp='1509053606' post='3396395']
Had a guitarist years ago answer an ad for a club band I was in. I took an instant dislike to him, absolutely full of himself, pain in the arse to spend even five minutes with. He turned up to a few gigs with his wife before his audition in an attempt to ingratiate himself further and give himself what he thought would be a head start over the other prospective candidates. I remember him standing with his wife talking to the bandleader about the bandleader's holiday and saying "me and the wife love it there, we should all go there together next year!" I made my feelings clear about him early on but the bandleader wanted to give him a try. He was given three or four songs to learn with about two weeks to learn them. We set up during the day at this club so he and another chap could come and audition. I remember dreading it. Gets to the time he was due to arrive, no show...half an hour goes by, still no sign, bandleader phones him and he says he's lost, even though this was a particularly well known venue, about an hour goes by before he bursts in, again with his wife, pissed and stinking of beer, all flustered. Rushes to get his gear in then to my absolute delight puts in the worst audition performance I think I've ever heard, clearly did next to zero preparation, could hardly make it through a song without making the most horrendous bum-note laden racket. It was a joy to watch! He then tried to say "no no, I just need to get myself together, give me another try" to which the drummer and myself got up and walked out the room. He at least had the good grace to have left before we came back. He still had the cheek to phone the bandleader a few days later to beg for another try! What a wally!
[/quote]

It's sad when someone needs a "sharpener" to boost their sense of self worth.

"bum-note laden" That made me laugh. Was that his surname? It put me in mind of a terrorist that once made the world news.

[SpondonBassed]

[quote name='Woodinblack' timestamp='1509055241' post='3396405']
...But if you aren't accepted or kicked out, then leave it and move on to the next thing!
[/quote]

Having been rejected I agree that it is the best strategy to quietly move on.

I passed audition with what was to be a six piece band about eighteen months ago. In the follow-up 'phone call I was given given the set to learn in agreed stages. I committed to learning six songs to be ready to practice with the band in a fortnight. I was to wait for a further call to check what six songs to learn next The role had been offered with the understanding that auditions were still going on for bass and two other roles in the band. The call didn't come as expected and on the practice night of the third week I went to see the band.

When I got out of the car I could hear bass from the car park. It was good too. My fears were confirmed when I entered the hall and saw the new bassist setting-up. I was not enraged, despite friends' supportive suggestions that I should have been. Instead I accepted that the band leader was doing what a good band leader does for the overall good of the project and had picked someone who know more of the set list than me from the start.

My only issue was that I had to find out for myself when I should have heard back the previous week. It really wasn't that big a deal. Once I had got over myself I could see that I was one of many people who had responded to the newspaper advert (yes, the local classifieds still work well) and that what had happened is something of an occupational hazard in these circles. I wished the band well and left with no animosity.

My restraint was a good choice because the newer player, for reasons unknown, was gone six months later and I was contacted to see if I would still be available. I still wanted the job but my mum had died in the meantime and I was starting to guide my life into a new direction. I politely declined.

I can still hold my head up when I bump into these chaps on the circuit however.

The behaviour described in the OP seems a bit career limiting to me. Eventually no-one would want to know you on your own patch. Stupid really.

Edited October 27, 2017 by SpondonBassed

[SpondonBassed]

[quote name='mcnach' timestamp='1509063442' post='3396440']

That's another thing that sometimes happens. I have a friend who can play very complicated things on his guitar. But when it comes to joining others, he just can't do it. He sounds contrived and mechanical... but the thing is the guy knows a lot, and has the technical ability, but I think he is just used to copying other people's work without really absorbing the material. I've tried to encourage him to just join bands, as I think once he loosens up he could potentially be very good... but he's not comfortable and prefers to just play at home.
[/quote]

Sound like me in some ways. Have him washed and sent to Derby and we could be making technically sweet music by the end of the week!

[SpondonBassed]

[quote name='mcnach' timestamp='1509063062' post='3396435']
oh wait... you mean first name or surname? The surname might just fit! Can't be... 5 letter first name, 6 letter surname?
[/quote]

Cliff Richard? I didn't know he was a shredder.

[uk_lefty]

[quote name='SpondonBassed' timestamp='1509086059' post='3396464']


Cliff Richard? I didn't know he was a shredder.
[/quote]

Be careful what allegations you make there!

[Beedster]

[quote name='SpondonBassed' timestamp='1509083494' post='3396459']
It's sad when someone needs a "sharpener" to boost their sense of self worth.
[/quote]

We auditioned a singer years ago, he turned up looking nervous as hell. In front of us he shotgunned two cans of 1664, and then knocked out the best version of La Grange I've ever heard, well it was as good as the original (the vocals anyway, we were as crap as usual). We didn't hire him because we were a bit worried about how stable his confidence was going to be if it needed that kind of kick start, but booze and creativity/performance has been a pretty effective strategy from at least as far back as Mozart

BTW I still wish we'd hired him

[SpondonBassed]

[quote name='Beedster' timestamp='1509090664' post='3396490']
We auditioned a singer years ago, he turned up looking nervous as hell. In front of us he shotgunned two cans of 1664, and then knocked out the best version of La Grange I've ever heard, well it was as good as the original (the vocals anyway, we were as crap as usual). We didn't hire him because we were a bit worried about how stable his confidence was going to be if it needed that kind of kick start, but booze and creativity/performance has been a pretty effective strategy from at least as far back as Mozart

BTW I still wish we'd hired him
[/quote]

I am no stranger to intoxicating substances myself. I am aware that altered states of mind are a major influence on art in general and especially in music.

In this context however we are talking about doing a job. Employers generally make intoxication during work time a sacking offence. I see little difference here. May I also point out that there is a vast wealth of creative music out there that was created by sober people.

Many of the survivors of the so-called rock and roll lifestyle who have cleaned up their lives say that they wished they'd known earlier that they could still play without help from substances, legal or otherwise.

Peer pressure on musicians to get intoxicated at gigs is not such a problem today either.

[uk_lefty]

I was in a short lived project where the guitarist and singer didn't drive, so I'd offer to drive them. They were both very good the first few jams but then it became a boozy night out for them, tanked up before I picked them up and sozzled when the drummer had to drive them home. It wasn't very productive when it was their band they were trying to get off the ground. I don't mind people having a can during rehearsal but being drunk to the point of forgetting songs or playing endless versions of the same song is unacceptable for me. Not because I'm a dead serious muso looking to make my mark, or make money, I just find it disrespectful to people who are putting in proper effort.

[thepurpleblob]

I once turned up to an audition the evening after spending the whole wrestling the gearbox and transfer-box out of a BMW 4x4. I'd done so much damage to myself that I couldn't play a note. People do sometimes have off days.

No, I didn't get the gig. I didn't like the drummer any way