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Funny things at gigs


T-Bay
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I helped out a mate at an open mic night last night and ended up playing about an hour, my father in law came along to watch. He is ex bomb disposal but is a very quiet gentle bloke who is very very shy. After my first 20 minute stint I came back to sit down to find him talking to this old lady, I assumed he knew her and as it was my round I bought her a drink as well. Anyway to cut a long story short it appears he had ‘pulled’ the local drunk. She was with him all night and was hassling me for his phone number by the end. I think he was quite taken aback and embarrassed by it but I found it very funny.

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Indeed! He was very nice about it, as is his way, but it must have been a nightmare. She kept trying to get him to go home with her, it was all ‘I only live around the corner’, ‘isn’t it much nicer to drink at home?’ I have some beer in the fridge’ and my favourite ‘don’t you find when it’s get to half nine you just want to go home and sit watching the telly with someone”, Father in law replied ‘nope, I like sitting in pubs with a full pint’. I do feel sorry for the poor old dear as well, she must have been very lonely I think. She was properly soaked by the end though, she tried to leave via the gents first until someone stopped her, then I saved her from falling over the bar. Father in law said she was properly effing and jeffing by the end as well and despite over thirty years in the army I have never heard my father in law swear. We half expected to find her waiting outside to follow us when we left. 

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Was at a Darkness gig back in the day,standing just on the edge of the mad bit,felt a tap on my shoulder,turned round,people there but just looking through me,happened again a few times and i just caught a half chuckle from the side of the mouth of the girlfriend of the lad behind me,so he'd decided to show off to his lass.It happened again and i turned nose to nose and said One more time mate.!

i turned back round and this student kid said ,hey mate when the next song starts can you throw me on the top the crowd to surf.It started and i gave him a firemans lift and threw him about 6 feet in the air.I turned round and the comedian behind had gone

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