Complaining Neighbour

[casapete]

I live at the end of a terrace, and had dreadful problems with our neighbours shortly after we moved in.

Their 17 year old son was learning drums at college,, and the first time I heard him practice it was like the kit was 

set up in my living room, really! After this happening quite regularly, I went round and had a polite word,

pointing out that it was stopping us living our normal time at home etc. The parents asked me if they could

arrange a set time for him to practice, which we reluctantly agreed to. Sure enough, after a short period the

lad would beat ten bells out of his kit whenever his parents were out. After compromising so much, this was

the final straw so I went round and politely told them to stop completely or I would seek advice from the council.

( Acoustic drum kits in terraced houses are just a no no, as are bass and guitar amps in my opinion.)

The result was they didn't speak to either of us for years, and despite the drumming stopping they bought him

a small electric kit to practice with (as I'd suggested ages ago) which I could still hear when he hit the pads, but

thought it was tolerable following what had been going on before.

The neighbours actually came round a bit after the lad left home, and we do now speak etc. I think they thought I 

would be okay with the drumming as I was a muso, but didn't get it when I told them it was like working in a loud

factory environment all day and coming in to the same row when I got home.

Much as I dislike them, headphones are really the only solution I'm afraid. Or move house of course... 

[casapete]

4 minutes ago, musicbassman said:

Take great care here. I would think it really is worth using headphones, otherwise it could become an ever escalating war of words/volumes with your neighbour, until you reach the point where your 'right' to make a noise becomes more important to you than the actual practising.

Also, if you are an owner occupier you are legally obliged to declare any disputes with neighbours when you come to sell up and move on - and a poor history here can create major problems for you, regardless of whether the disputes were your 'fault' or not....................

Great post!

[doomed]

I personally don't plug in at home as we're mid terrace, but that's just me, the neighbours we have now are pretty quiet themselves and I don't want that to change as I am not a lover of loud neighbours. The lot we had to our left previously had a short spell where they liked to think they were lovers of loud bass, odd really considering they had a young baby in there with them. 20 minutes of 500 watts of overdriven Orange through my Dubster placed against the dividing wall quickly convinced them otherwise.

[Ghost_Bass]

2 hours ago, Lozz196 said:

Be accommodating, but when the next screaming match happens knock on her door and request the same from her.

This is well put. 

Be considerate for a week, do your best to keep volume down. We (as bassplayers) don't need to feel the trousers flapping whilst rehearsing, only hear the notes, cut back on bass (use a LPF if you have it) and be sensible on the volume. But when she starts making noise in her own home at inapropriate hours be sure to knock on her door calling her attention to it, may help her put things in another perspective. It sounds like she's a very selfish person and usualy they overlook their own flaws whilst being unforgiving with the same flaws in others.

 

Personally, it's very rare for me to practise with any of my amps, i just use them to test gear after setups and repairs at home. I practise with my USB mini-mixer hooked to the PC, i can have the youtube track and my bass track comming out of my PC's 2.1 system and my bass sounds good enough for what i need and at a reasonable volume.

[Twanger]

Invite her in. Show her your bass. Open a bottle of wine.

[Bassassin]

1 hour ago, Lozz196 said:

One of the first things I did when I moved into my flat was talk to the neighbours about being a musician, and that if my playing ever got on their nerves, just tell me and I would turn it down/stop.

This. The last 3 places I've lived have been terraced houses and that was how I approached the neighbours. In one of them we actually had a big basement area set up as a rehearsal space (acoustic kit, small PA, etc) and  the neighbours' response was - "don't worry - if we think you're sh!t, we'll let you know!" Reassuringly they never complained.

Present gaff is an end-terrace & we have an upstairs bedroom on the outside wall (not adjoining neighbours) set up as a music room/home studio & happily it doesn't bother anyone.

What's interesting about this thread for me is that when I'm practicing alone, I'm always unplugged - I can hear myself perfectly well & have no need to complicate things with amps & leads. If I'm learning a song & need to play along I have a little Behringer mixer/interface attached to my laptop so I can either play (quietly) through speakers or through 'phones.

I think if I decided to set up my GK 401RB rig & crank it until stuff started vibrating, the neighbours would have every reason to be a little bit f*cked-off.

[fretmeister]

2 hours ago, Earbrass said:

This. Playing amplified in a terrace house is unnecessary and antisocial.

I wouldn't go that far.

 

But I would say that playing amplified to the point where you couldn't simultaneously listen to a TV show might be. 

[casapete]

53 minutes ago, doomed said:

20 minutes of 500 watts of overdriven Orange through my Dubster placed against the dividing wall quickly convinced them otherwise.

Must admit I did consider this in my situation, but really then you end up with who makes the most noise type daft stuff, which

quickly escalates into stupid stuff.

Think my SVT 8x10 rig would have won mine though.....

[Les]

Personally I'd do whatever I needed to to keep some sort of harmony with my neighbor, as frustrating as the situation may be you can't buy them. 

[dyerseve]

sounds like she is a bit of a nightmare and needs careful management. you want to keep her happy but not pander to her every whim. SO by all means agree to turn it down or use headphones this week but let her know you are helping her out and that you would like her to return the courtesy by not having shouting matches late at night while your toddler is sleeping.

Give them an inch and they take a mile so make sure you get an inch back every now and then

[fretmeister]

I'm lucky with my neighbours. Technically we are detached, but due to various extensions built over the years there's about 1 inch between.

 

A few years ago Neighbour 1 was having trouble with his teenage daughter. He was embarrassed about the music noise. She had her window open and was blasting Cypress Hill out. I said I reckon I could stop it with 1 conversation with her.

 

I saw her later. Told her I approved of her music. She was surprised I had heard of Cypress Hill (!) I told her they were one of my favourites. And then I started to rap Insane in the Membrane at full volume in the street. With dance moves.

10 seconds later she was running away from the greying middle aged man rapping outside her house.

 

Job done.

[doomed]

3 minutes ago, casapete said:

Must admit I did consider this in my situation, but really then you end up with who makes the most noise type daft stuff, which

quickly escalates into stupid stuff.

Think my SVT 8x10 rig would have won mine though.....

I didn't just go ahead and do it the first time they played their bump bump bumpy s**t ☺, they started doing it more and more often getting steadily louder and later every time and as mentioned above when I could hear it over our telly I'd had enough, I thought just the one rig was quite restrained actually, I could have used all 3. 😊

[fleabag]

Turn your amp up any time you hear a screaming match

[skankdelvar]

A few thoughts:

* It is suggested that the neighbour has downsized from a larger house, argues with her teenage son, is difficult and has 'mental issues'. Sounds like a bad divorce to me and this should be taken into account. I would avoid 'retaliating' with one's amp or going round to complain while any argument is taking place. This will exacerbate matters.

* Getting on with one's neighbours is more important than the difference between headphones and an amp. Bad relations are far more sapping than any fleeting loss of engagement with one's instrument. A good neighbour is to be treasured.

* Practicing un-amplified does not impede one's progress. It's less fun than playing through an amp but that's not the point of practice.

* I once lived immediately next door to a slightly angry and bewildered teenage bass player who practiced through an amp. Speaking from bitter experience I can report that there is little worse than fragmented passages, muffed notes and repetitious whomping on E. I imagine that non-musicians would find this sort of thing even more debilitating.

 

Edited January 10, 2018 by skankdelvar

[pbasspecial]

Some great advice here guys.

Yes, she was going through a divorce at the time and therefore as reasonable people we felt sympathy for her situation.  Even though her attitude and behaviour was more than should have been tolerated.

just to fill in the blanks, I don't usually practise with an amp.  Usually it is unplugged. Very occasionally I need to play through it to test out new pedals, etc.  

[skankdelvar]

22 minutes ago, pbasspecial said:

Yes, she was going through a divorce at the time and therefore as reasonable people we felt sympathy for her situation.  Even though her attitude and behaviour was more than should have been tolerated.

Ha! This was exactly the problem I had with a neighbour. A fundamentally ghastly woman, not improved by her unfortunate divorce. Her son was the aspiring bass player I mentioned above and they rowed about 3 times a week. She also had an ill-tempered little terrier that terrorised every dog in the road.

Thankfully for us she snared a rich farmer and buggered off elsewhere with her nasty dog and bass-mangling spawn.

Edited January 10, 2018 by skankdelvar

[bubinga5]

Erm.. Headphones. Problem solved. 

[Kevsy71]

If you try headphones into the combo and aren't happy with the result, a Focusrite Scarlett USB interface into Garageband (or other) using the included modelling amps/compressors is excellent - and you can easily play along to digital music via the same laptop. I've been happy with that practice setup for years - only time I use the amp 'live' at home is for a few loud minutes on a NBD , which I then blame on nearby roadworks.

[lurksalot]

4 hours ago, skankdelvar said:

............

* I once lived immediately next door to a slightly angry and bewildered teenage bass player who practiced through an amp. Speaking from bitter experience I can report that there is little worse than fragmented passages, muffed notes and repetitious whomping on E.......

 

May I offer up an adjoining wall, a dart board and some inconsistent speed of arithmetic . Absolute torture 

[taunton-hobbit]

I've possibly  posted this before - years ago I lived in an end terrace cottage.

I got on ok with the adults, but the late teenage kid hated me (why?).

One weekend, with the parents away, he mounted his stereo speakers on the adjoining wall

and proceeded to turn the volume up. I tried to raise some reaction by knocking on the

front door, but this onset was obviously deliberate.............

I faced one of my sound system boxes against the party wall and played Count Ossie

Mystic Revelation of Rastafari at about 100watts, set to 'repeat'..........

I went down the pub, until around chucking out time.

.....I never had a moments problem from that day on..............

(yeah, I know, I'd probably be in loads of trouble if I did it now)

[Harryburke14]

Personally I'd wait until the next screaming match happened and then bang on their door and tell them to shut up because it's really off-putting while you're trying to play your bass. Then go back to your amp, put it on as loud as you can stomach and face it to the adjoining wall, and repeatedly play the same note for a solid few minutes. If they complain just say you had to put it loud to hear it over their antics.

[itsmedunc]

Many years ago, the bloke in the flat below used to play music really loudly at all sorts of silly times. Early morning, middle of the night etc. I asked him to stop several times but he just ignored me. Alas, the poor fella didn't know I was a bass player. One morning I connected my stereo to my stack, laid the cabs face down on the floor and put Metal Box album by PIL. I then went out and came back late in the evening. It had played over and over for over 12 hours. He never played music that loud or at stupid times again. I don't think he even talked to me again.

I was a lot younger then and now would probably seek a peaceful solution. You never know they could be PIL fans 🤐

[mcnach]

9 hours ago, pbasspecial said:

Hi Fellow BC'ers,

Yesterday morning I was playing my bass at home at a reasonable volume with a little bit of vibration but not excessively loud.  Within about 5 minutes my next door neighbour 'politely' asks me what 'we' can do about the noise as she is working from home this week, etc.  This is not the first time she has done this.  She moved from a detached house to an end of terrace., so has probably never had to deal with minor noise spillage from neighbours walls.  She thinks she is better than everyone else (not sure why!)  She is very high maintanence, had/has mental health issues but we have never mentioned to her that her and her 18 yo son have screaming matches late at night in the room opposite where my 2 young boys sleep.  Personally think she has got a f'ing cheek and would love to tell her to FO but am trying to take the higher ground and maintain some sort of long term harmony.  Although I am now starting to feel like a prisoner in my own home.  

I have a gramma pad to reduce vibration. Also, I don't always want to play unplugged or via a headphone.

Wondered what your thoughts, recommendations and personal experiences of this are?

 

 

It's always tricky with neighbours because you don't really want to start having issues at your own home...

Given it looks like it's just this week, I'd lean towards keeping very calm, polite and nice. It may be worth not simply just shut down bass entirely, but actually have a conversation as to what would she find acceptable... maybe there are certain times, or lengths of time, that she would not be so bothered by the noise, and you could both reach an agreement. In my view, that would be the best outcome, where you both feel you give a little, but also take a little: respect.

And then cross your fingers.

Good luck! Noisy or supersensitive neighbours can be a real pain.

[mcnach]

9 hours ago, pbasspecial said:

To be honest I didn't even know she was at home.  I have tried to be reasonable.  When she first moved in she would be texting my wife about one small thing or another to the point off borderline harassment (we are actually good people/neighbours)  She has calmed down a lot recently but there comes a point where everyman (or woman -LofB reference) wants/needs/has to take a stand and say 'enough is enough'. 

She has knocked on the door at 7pm before, when I tried to get a quick 20 mins before the kids went to bed.  The complaint she had then was that she just got back from work, needed to relax, etc.

I thought 'well what the f*ck do you think I'm doing then!'

 

 

oh, she does sound high maintenance... 

[mcnach]

8 hours ago, hiram.k.hackenbacker said:

Personally, I can’t think of a reason why I would want to play amplified at home. I’ve been using a Phil Jones Bass Buddy for some time and it keeps everyone happy.

As mentioned previously, good neighbours are worth keeping and I’d be inclined to play the good guy. 

 

Lucky you.

I never liked playing with headphones. Even when I'm playing quietly, I use my amp. 

But yes, you do have to mind the levels and remember just how much bass can travel through walls.

However, to prevent someone from playing amplified at home (keeping levels reasonable) during the day is just not on either. Some people expect absolute silence from their neighbours, and sometimes the same people are the ones who think nothing of playing their home cinemas with sub-bass and yelling in the house at 3am when they come home after a few drinks... It's tricky.

When a neighbour has unreasonable expectations and demands, at some point you have to say 'enough' and live your life too... but you're taking a gamble as to what happens next, so it's important that you remain 'reasonable' even if others aren't, so that if the time comes, you cannot be found to be at fault.