spongebob Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 I've been in the same band for nearly 6 years now - my longest by some margin. The first few years were fun - very regular gigs, recorded 2 EPs worth of originals, it was all good. However, we then suffered a run of bad 'drummer luck' - went through a good few, our current one has been with us around 18 months. The problem has been a gradual loss of momentum - the gigs have got less every year (we've only got 13 for 2018), and whereas we'd previously rehearse during the down-time, now there's nothing happening. Our set list is big, but there's only been about 3 new additions since 2014. Groundhog day. We used to have a running order, a bit of organisation - now, it's all called out on the fly. Long gaps between songs whilst the BL decides what to do next. Add to this the others are about to engage in another project, which I declined to be a part of, it has disaster written all over it. I also couldn't stand playing with our drummer any more than I have to - he's never learned the songs properly, just 4/4's over everything, accents all wrong, it just gets me down. I know they're rehearsing the other project in our down time, that's another reason why we're not doing anything. The last gig we played, a couple of weeks back, I actually felt sick before we started. Not through nerves, just the idea of the gig with the band.....the whole concept was just weighing me down. Trouble is, new bands here are not exactly easy to come by. By leaving, I could be band-less for some time to come. It's not an easy decision to make..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicbassman Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 Geez, I can remember having to do gigs like this - where you're playing through gritted teeth and praying for the performance to end, 'cos you know the band will NEVER sound any better than it does at that moment, and that's so depressing............ Sounds like it's time you sat down with your BL or whoever is (or was) a significant driving force in the band and tried to find out where they see the band going from here on. Maybe they've just lost interest in the current format and are more interested in the new project. Is it original material you've been doing in the current band? How has it been going down? Negative audience response puts a dampener on things more quickly than someone's slightly ropey playing, IMO. Whatever you do, plan your strategy carefully! Best of luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T-Bay Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 If it’s potentially making you feel ill nd you aren’t enjoying it then it sounds quite easy. Perhaps organise a meeting and put your cards on the table? It could go well and put things back on track, if not, well you tried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stingrayPete1977 Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 I'd say get some fingers in some pies first then 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozz196 Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 You`ve got to go, once you get to that point it`s difficult to see how you can stay in. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor J Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 Once it stops being fun, get out of there. Doing nothing is better than being miserable. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Burrito Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 I've done it. I was still sort of enjoying it, just not as much as I used to. I had nothing new to go to but was involved in other bands. That one was earning a fair bit through the band I left but I haven't regretted it and I still look back fondly on the time I was in that band. So for me it was the right decision and we all stayed friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spongebob Posted February 12, 2018 Author Share Posted February 12, 2018 It's like the fun has gone. It's not the band it was, and won't be again. It kind of puts me off picking up the bass....I've probably played about an hour in the last 2 weeks. I know how it's going, it's just the thought of the jump into nothing.....and how long that can last..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrispbass Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 1 hour ago, spongebob said: It's like the fun has gone. It's not the band it was, and won't be again. It kind of puts me off picking up the bass....I've probably played about an hour in the last 2 weeks. I know how it's going, it's just the thought of the jump into nothing.....and how long that can last..... You'll prob find that everyone is thinking the same thing. Firstly, you're not financially reliant on the gig income (guessing this is the case), so given that, you're doing it for the enjoyment and very probably out of pocket for your involvement. This is obviously not majorly important, as you're doing it for the love...which aint there at the moment. Group chat is the way forward, get everyone to air their views and see how the land lies. Your BL may have lost the impetus and is bored of holding the reins. It can be a thankless job running a band, and is very easy to just learn songs and turn up. See if that's the case and offer to help or take over if it is. If you still feel like you're going to be banging your head against a brick wall, then leave...its as simple as that and move on to pastures new. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fretmeister Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 Quit. It’s not working. It’s made you feel sick. flip that stinky poo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 (edited) 1 hour ago, spongebob said: I know how it's going, it's just the thought of the jump into nothing.....and how long that can last..... Have to agree with the general comments. Nothing worse than playing with a crap drummer, we've all done it. Makes the dreadful task a... dreadful task. Look at it this way - it's not a jump into nothing, because: You'll still have somewhere to live, work, friends, social activities. A band, no matter how committed you are to it, isn't the whole of your life. This may be a great opportunity to take a step back and rethink what's important to you. If playing bass in a gigging band is still important to you, then you'll find a way of doing it. Whatever you get into can't be much worse than the situation you're in now, can it? And chances are, it'll be a big improvement. Quit! You'll feel better for it! Edited February 12, 2018 by discreet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elfrasho Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 Not sure why there's even a question mark! When your hobby isn't fun, it's no longer a hobby! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stewblack Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 The band I'm setting up has come about precisely because the guitarist is in your situation. His long term band has been in a steady decline, members being replaced with less able and less interested people, gigs dropping off, no motivation. So he got chatting with me and we decided to set up something else with people who had the same ideas and goals as he has. He's keeping up his other band to keep his hand in but has rediscovered his mojo through this new project. Perhaps you too could find another project to run in tandem so you don't have to leap into the abyss. Good luck. I've been where you are and it's an awful place to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluewine Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 Don't quit a gigging band until you have something better. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elfrasho Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 10 minutes ago, Bluewine said: Don't quit a gigging band until you have something better. Blue If you're a working musician maybe... I think op is very much a hobbyist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolverinebass Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 5 minutes ago, Bluewine said: Don't quit a gigging band until you have something better. Blue You're basing that on your situation of needing gig money to live. The OP doesn't, so therefore he doesn't have to put up with idiots or people he can't stand. I agree with @spongebob. Life is too short to put up with crap like this, but one thing is irrefutably true of all those situations. Once the fun's gone, it's gone and it doesn't come back. Ever. I'd much rather work on my own material for a bit than put up with a crap situation just to "be in a band." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodinblack Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 14 minutes ago, Bluewine said: Don't quit a gigging band until you have something better. If you don't need the money, and it is making you feel ill playing, doing nothing is something better. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gjones Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 If you can, before you hand in your resignation, have a chat with the other members about your feelings. Say that you feel the band is getting stale, there's a lack of commitment and that you think the drummer is pants. Tell them you're seriously considering leaving, as playing with the band is no fun anymore. Then leave it up to them. If they don't agree with you, then it's probably a good time to leave. If they do agree with you and resolve to sort things out (and hopefully get a new drummer) then you can give them another chance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris_b Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 Fire the drummer. Replace him with someone good. Get the buzz back in the band with a new repertoire. If you can't do any of these things, find another band, then quit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Starr Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 My wife always says 'don't put out your dirty underwear until you have clean'. In your position a couple of years ago I made the band have the ''talk' It didn't clear the air and any promised changes soon evaporated. I didn't back down and it all ended messily. They went on gigging and I've been sat at home most of the time until recently. I went to see them the other day and they were OK if pedestrian. Ironically another band plying similarly needed a bassist a couple of weeks before the final split and out of loyalty to the band I was unhappy with I turned them down. I should have taken my wife's advice. I missed gigging more than I expected. Relax about your current band, as long as you honour current gigs you won't be letting anyone down. Look for something else, when you find it hand in your notice. Let's face it you aren't spending a lot of time learning new songs, so it really is just the gigs. You can enjoy them once you know you are on your way to something better. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathy Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 I left my band at the end of last year. No issues with them at all, but I just felt the time had come (as the OP said, it was weighing me down). Since then I have enrolled on SBL, and I must say that it's a long time since I have enjoyed playing the bass as much as I do now. As far as joining another band in the future goes - if it happens, it happens. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepurpleblob Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 If you're doing it for fun and it's not fun.... well, you don't need to ask us really, do you? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassbiscuits Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 Yeah I sympathise Spongebob. I left my regular band in April last year, one of the reasons being that it had stagnated into a generic pub rock thing with little in the way of new material, and songs chosen by the band leader on the basis of being easy rather than being good. I found myself on stage one night thinking "Is this it?" Once your heart's not in it anymore, it's hard to fake it and carry on, even if it is paid regular work. Leaving that band freed up enough time for me to say yes to other musical stuff instead - I'm now gigging with a original trio, doing regular solo acoustic gigs and bits of depping work. It's enough for me at the moment. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spongebob Posted February 13, 2018 Author Share Posted February 13, 2018 This^^! Situation exactly the same. What started as a 'doing it our way' for the tracks - great mix of choice covers and originals - has become a second set cheese fest of Mustang/Summer Of '69, etc., every gig. Mix in the lack of any new material, no rehearsal, no more recording, the others focus on the Kings new clothes..... It's just the idea of being without anything that's scary....even if we've not got that much! We used to average 2-3 gigs a month, even some 3-gig weekends. It's just a shame. I think I've also tired of the pub circuit, that's not helping. I did a dep gig 18 months ago to around 3500/4000 people....really showed me something else. Going back to playing Bryan Adams to the bar staff....just lost it's appeal. Worst thing was, guy who's band I depped with had a big 2018 project he asked me to be involved in. Amazing....but it's all fallen apart. And what I'm left with has never felt so unappealing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris_b Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 I've played in some crap bands over the years but I've never made myself gigless by quitting one with work in the diary. More than once I've had a band leader see me playing in a terrible band and offer me a gig in a better band, so keep gigging and plan the next step. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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