That was an odd rehearsal

[SICbass]

2 minutes ago, stingrayPete1977 said:

Not enough neck dive to be a Gibson and the bridge looks too good? 

I daren‘t ask what it‘d cost.

[SH73]

Did he beat it or is he sticking around?

[Dan Dare]

9 hours ago, musicbassman said:

Two ways forward:

1) If your drummer is replaceable, then maybe find someone else who takes the gig on the understanding that the BL has the final say in how the song is to be played. End of.

2) Or, if you think it's going to be difficult to continue without your current drummer, then much gentle counselling and persuasion might be necessary. But this then puts them in a dominant position - they know that they can throw their toys out of the pram at any time and get away with it. And, long term, this could be even worse.  

This is sensible. Point 2 is very pertinent. Even if your drummer has personal troubles, it isn't on to throw a tantrum. Were I in that position, I'd say to the others "Sorry chaps. A few issues getting me down at present", etc. That's just being a grown up. This is music, not therapy, after all.

[Wylie]

21 hours ago, tauzero said:

Just over a week ago, the originals band played a gig, and the second half was somewhat sloppy. So this evening, first rehearsal after the gig, the BL (singer/songwriter/guitarist completely unafflicted by the ego that one might expect him to have) comments to me that I sounded a bit dodgy on song X (I agreed, I played mostly the right notes but a few were well off), then he said to the drummer that there were a couple of songs that had slight issues - one was too fast, and in the other the drummer had started putting in a fill, the timing of which was throwing the guitarist. He wasn't making a big deal of it, just saying which songs we needed to look at and why, which was perfectly reasonable (he'd also apologised on the night for missing a line on one song which had thrown me briefly, so he's happy to acknowledge his own errors). The drummer took umbrage, which we thought initially was him joking about it but no, he went off on a rant about taking this criticism personally, packed up his sticks, pedal, cymbals, and snare, and stormed out, leaving the remaining three of us (me, BL, and slide guitarist) somewhat open-mouthed.

Not sure whether he's definitely gone for good, but with a gig coming up on Friday which we don't want to cancel, the slide guitarist who also plays drums is going to step in and we'll be back to a three-piece.

In his autobiography (or somewhere else, possibly), Bruce Springsteen noted the pitfalls of the 'democratic' band as opposed to the band with a clear leader--a boss, not to play with words too much. He said he'd seen too many democratic bands start out great, then disintegrate over internal criticism and disagreements. His band, he said, was always his band. Sounded smart to me.

[Bolo]

2 hours ago, Dan Dare said:

This is sensible. Point 2 is very pertinent. Even if your drummer has personal troubles, it isn't on to throw a tantrum. Were I in that position, I'd say to the others "Sorry chaps. A few issues getting me down at present", etc. That's just being a grown up. This is music, not therapy, after all.

Yeah right. Grown ups don'play music. Everyone knows that!

[discreet]

27 minutes ago, Wylie said:

Bruce Springsteen noted the pitfalls of the 'democratic' band as opposed to the band with a clear leader--a boss...

That's why they call him 'The Boss'.

[skankdelvar]

8 minutes ago, discreet said:

That's why they call him 'The Boss'.

These days I call him Steptoe.

[Dad3353]

I'd just like to call attention to the splendid effort and dedication to detail displayed by our colleague The Skank. Keeping up to date with such a plethora of images appropriate for almost every occasion is no mean feat, and should not go unrecognised. Please rise, then, and as one, applaud our graphic hero with gusto and enthusiasm. Here's to you then, Skank, Master of the Matching Cliché.

[Les]

6 hours ago, skankdelvar said:

Looking back over 40 years-worth of drummers it's clear that the softly-softly approach is a complete waste of energy. However nicely one puts it, drummers always get the hump.

This being the case, I have eschewed diplomacy and now adopt a more robust approach e.g. 'Play it like that again and I'll f**king kill you stone dead on the spot. Savvy?'

OK, they still quit the band but it saves time on all the pussyfooting around.

You and I may have been separated at birth.

We're on out 4th drummer.

[Happy Jack]

The other three are all buried under your patio?

[Les]

you know me so well. 

[uk_lefty]

In my band we give and accept criticism in the right way, it was established early on and it's the only way to improve as a unit. Also, if someone's having an off day they hold their hand up. Our singer has once had a diva tantrum over text message, we weren't sure if he was joking at first... He wasn't. Amazingly our drummer is also the band diplomat!

[Happy Jack]

2 hours ago, uk_lefty said:

Amazingly our drummer is also the band diplomat!

Same for us.

[la bam]

You dont realise how hard it is to have to point out flaws to others that can be easily amended for the good of the song and the band until youve been in that position.

Once youve been in that position and return to the role of just playing, you really appreciate someone else doing it and take the comments for what they are (a simple point of fact, not a scathing personal attack) and fix the issue in 2 minutes and move on happier now that the song sounds better.

[Dan Dare]

14 hours ago, Bolo said:

Yeah right. Grown ups don'play music. Everyone knows that!

You must be working with different people from me.

[uk_lefty]

3 hours ago, la bam said:

You dont realise how hard it is to have to point out flaws to others that can be easily amended for the good of the song and the band until youve been in that position.

Once youve been in that position and return to the role of just playing, you really appreciate someone else doing it and take the comments for what they are (a simple point of fact, not a scathing personal attack) and fix the issue in 2 minutes and move on happier now that the song sounds better.

It can be hard not to hurt feelings sometimes. Had a difficult one recently where our guitarist loves doing backing vocals and always has done but he can't sing in tune. He maybe noticed me doing more and felt threatened a bit by this so we had to approach carefully. One guy went in a bit too direct and upset him so instead I asked him how he's trying to work it, what he's trying to achieve, and from there we work out what to do. For example if a harmony is needed he doesn't do the backing now because it's not in his skillset, but where it's doubling up or call and response he goes for it. More effective than saying "stop it, you're stinky poo" which is not something I'd ever do with someone I respect.

[lemmywinks]

18 hours ago, discreet said:

That looks like Gibson's 'Stratocaster'.

If it was a Gibson it would break at the headstock as soon as a child hit it.

[HazBeen]

I won't hijack the thread, but I got into a row with the singer of my Oasis Tribute recently. This guy is NEVER prepared, everything last minute, doesn't drive so needs a lift, needed the bass player (me) to help choose and set up his in-ears and vocal mic. He called me out because I did not know a song WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE ON THE LIST. 5 minutes later he was sulking in a corner as I ripped him to absolute shreds. 

Some people hey? We've since made up of course

[discreet]

9 minutes ago, HazBeen said:

He called me out because I did not know a song WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE ON THE LIST.

Joined a band. At a gig the singer called out a number and the band played it. Thing is, I hadn't learnt it - because I'd never heard it before, we hadn't rehearsed it, it had never even been previously discussed or put forward. To say I was a bit annoyed is an understatement. I should have walked there and then, because as it turned out this was symptomatic of the singer's attitude towards his band, i.e. no consideration whatsoever given to anyone. It didn't end well, obviously...

I avoided my worst nightmare for 40 years (Trying to play a song I don't know in front of an audience) and this idiot made it a reality!! 

Edited March 7, 2018 by discreet

[Dave Vader]

The solution to band problems is this:

At your first meet up with any new band criticise them mildly, suggest ways to improve.

If they get shirty, don't join.

Some bands are more like support groups sometimes (not +support, oh you knew what I meant)

(smiley faces to indicate this might be a joke)

[discreet]

2 minutes ago, Dave Vader said:

At your first meet up with any new band criticise them mildly, suggest ways to improve. If they get shirty, don't join.

Great idea. You could also playfully slap them round the face as well - to see if they're violent. If they are, go straight to A&E. And don't join. 

[skankdelvar]

15 hours ago, Dad3353 said:

I'd just like to ... 
 

[T-Bay]

4 hours ago, uk_lefty said:

It can be hard not to hurt feelings sometimes. Had a difficult one recently where our guitarist loves doing backing vocals and always has done but he can't sing in tune. He maybe noticed me doing more and felt threatened a bit by this so we had to approach carefully. One guy went in a bit too direct and upset him so instead I asked him how he's trying to work it, what he's trying to achieve, and from there we work out what to do. For example if a harmony is needed he doesn't do the backing now because it's not in his skillset, but where it's doubling up or call and response he goes for it. More effective than saying "stop it, you're stinky poo" which is not something I'd ever do with someone I respect.

We find the volume sliders on the PA work brilliantly as talent filters for BV

[discreet]

On 06/03/2018 at 17:55, ambient said:

...In the end I just stopped going. He kept phoning me, and he'd turn up at the coffee shop when he'd know I was going to be there...

Christ, that's borderline stalking. 

[Happy Jack]

Nah ... he was the Barista.