Mismatched Disaster Gigs

[casapete]

3 minutes ago, T-Bay said:

Best way I think, for both parties involved. We went to a friends wedding a few years ago where the brides mother had pretty much insisted on an obscure Scottish folk band she loved. Sadly no one apart from the brides mother and her friend liked them. I tried to stay and watch for a while feeling sorry for the band but they were very ‘niche’ and I gave up. In the end there were two people in the bar loving it and 150 people outside on the lawn bored stiff. The band looked very deflated when they loaded out at the end of the night.

Yup, classic fail for a wedding / function is to let someone who's a massive fan of a particular band / style of music book

the entertainment. Been to many such events that have been a sorry (and often expensive mistake. ) You really have to go

for what will appeal to most of the audience for most of the event - bearing in mind you will never ever please everyone.

 

When I was in a function band playing at a wedding with usually a wide spread of ages/tastes in the audience, we'd usually

start with some quiet-ish old stuff (Sinatra etc) for the more elderly folks to enjoy and dance to. The younger people would

be at the bar or occasionally join in with the dancing, but generally be far more open minded about this than the old folk were

about modern material. By the time we'd got round to the loud more current stuff the oldies would have left anyway, so 

everyone happy. Not exactly rocket science, but seen many pub rock bands struggle to keep any sort of audience in these

circumstances.

[lowdown]

1 hour ago, NickD said:

Years ago, doing the British forces circuit in Germany...

A massive Officers summer ball, an all night job in a series of huge marquees, with a lavish dinner to start, ending with a Champagne breakfast at 7am. It's once a year, they all put money into it, the ladies spend a fortune on ballgowns, and they're really up for a good time. Our first set was around midnight, to be followed by another band from the same agency. We were a 70s glam rock caberet thing... wigs, makeup, lycra, platform soles and a strap-on Richard customised with microphone innards... best not to ask!😂

If was frenzied, and fun, and sweaty, we left them panting for more. We knew our audience and we knew our job.

Next band up... An ELO tribute, a really subtle, arty ELO tribute. They were incredible, imaginative and excellent musicians. I loved them... but they might as well have been the worst band in the world. They were in every way 'better' than us, but they just dropped the feeling in the room for an hour, just when the alcohol is taking over and they needed keeping on their feet. You could easily spot the musicians in the room... as they were the only people left watching.

We managed to pull things back together in our second set in the early hours, only to be followed by a longer and artier set from these guys with dramatic vignettes and album tracks and long musical segues between them. So much work had gone into it, that much was clear, but they had no business being there. It can't have been good for them, being outgunned buy a haphazard team of snotty, smutty 20 something rockers, and it made it bloody tough for us in that second set too.

 

 

I can relate to this.

A long time back, I was playing Bass in a Soul Act working at American Air Bases in Germany. All went ok at the Black music clubs. But one night it all went wrong when we were sent to a club that was all Whites who would only entertain Rock music. They absolutely hated us and threw everything they could get their hands on at us all. They were all sent out after about half an hour of carnage while we packed down the equipment and cleared off.

Funny now, but horrendous then.

[Painy]

3 hours ago, Bluewine said:

The host has usually seen us at a bar gig flips and wants us to play a private party. Never thinking that there's a high probability his guests might not be into it.

This is always the big problem with private functions - especially weddings.

Nothing worse than working your way through a hard rock or punk set the whole time under the stern, disapproving glare of the mother of the bride. 

[mrtcat]

59 minutes ago, casapete said:

Yup, classic fail for a wedding / function is to let someone who's a massive fan of a particular band / style of music bookt the entertainment.

Also why you don't let the bride or groom pick the set list. Let them identify a small handful of their favourites from you repertoire but even then tell them you'll only work them in if you can without losing the crowd. Usually not a problem but occasionally you'll get clients who'll try to tell you exactly what to play and when. 

[Angelus]

5 hours ago, gjones said:

Many years ago, I was asked if my band would play the Inland Revenue (UK version of the IRS), fraud squad's, Christmas party.

I had to turn them down.

 

That would most definitely be 'The wrong crowd' for my then band 

OMG, I ended up doing the sound for the band who done that gig, inside Centre 1 at East Kilbride...... done the last ever night there too before they closed it. They done a full show, including the blues brothers and I’m sure they got paid cash?

Edited April 2, 2018 by Angelus

[taunton-hobbit]

I've just managed to turn down a plea from a local lady

who was really keen that I come out of retirement (not happening)

and play 'some reggae' for her wedding.........

I suspect that she means dubstep/Marley/Althea & Donna (at a push) -

not Lee Perry/I Roy/Bunny Wailer...........

(sigh.......)

[NickD]

2 hours ago, casapete said:

In my ELO tribute band (not the one you mention thank goodness...) we occasionally get asked to perform at private functions, usually

by people who are fans of ELO stuff. We always decline, on the basis that most of the audience won't be.

 

They were really good, they were just a fish out of water in that situation. It was hard to feel sorry for them though... I knew (roughly) how much money they were making!

[Kevin Dean]

A band I was in was doing a wedding reception gig & all the parents were at the bar while  4 -10 tear olds just ran around our equipment, I had to stop to catch a child pulling a PA top over , Kids were also chasing some of the laser light patterns on the dance floor & some 7 year old ran head first into the wall knocking himself out .   In the early 80s I went to an outside biker rally & they took a dislike to the band so they threw all their gear into a lake :(. 

[Dad3353]

Disaster, but for whom..? One of many 'Kiemsa' anecdotes posted previously; I was the 'lighter' and truck driver for them for several years ...

Every year there is a full week of music in the town of Bourges. We had a whole raft of dates, several each day, in bars and cafés all over the town. In one place, mid-afternoon, we were set up in a tiny cramped corner of a tiny bar (about 5 m x 10 m..?). The tables were fine, 'art-deco' cast iron affairs, with two cast stems supporting the marble top, for four (cramped...) customers. Our lights were 4 PAR 56 cans, on the floor at the singer's feet. Once they started up, the place went crazy. There was a swell, the placed was literally heaving; I had a heck of a time trying to hold back the public from sweeping all forward, saving what I could of the PARs, the monitors and the band from this deluge of a throng. Came half-time, and a short pause, the wreckage became apparent. Every tabletop had been snapped clean off, leaving mortally dangerous cast-iron spikes sticking up by a foot from the floor. How no-one was not injured or transpierced is a miracle. The bar owner was not at all happy, but, seeing the business he was doing, and the very strong crowd wanting more, allowed us to continue the second set, asking for a touch more musical restraint. Vain hope; he just had time to remove the spikes, chiselling them from the floor, before more mayhem. There were two more 'showcase' events and bar concerts that same day. Oh how we laughed; you had to be there. 

Edited April 2, 2018 by Dad3353

[bassbiscuits]

Once in the late 1990s we got booked to play a gig in Soho (when I lived in South Wales at the time).

We were an originals britpop sort of band, but found ourselves playing in a gay club immediately following a drag artist. Apparently we'd been billed as Jazz...

So we did the gig anyway, but were really not what they were looking for. Then we're told the pay which was only £100 to start with was now £50, which didn't even begin to cover the cost of van hire or petrol. We got back to the van to find we'd got a parking ticket. 

The same britpop band also did a gig up in a remote club in the Welsh valleys. A friendly local having a fag outside told us it was their regular death metal night and a bunch of them had just dropped some acid.

We were glad to get home alive from that one.

[KK Jale]

Some years ago I found myself in a band playing very arty, slow, dramatic original rock - imagine an indie Scott Walker, if that's possible. 'Downbeat' doesn't even begin to describe it. 

One of the band had Irish connections and we were asked to play an outdoor stage at a small town festival in Co. Wexford. Why not? 

Turning up, it transpired we were playing a vast stage in the main square as support to a large and extremely professional Irish show band. Not only that, but we had unexpected support as well; just before we went on, there was a speech by the Taoiseach himself, Bertie Ahern. 

Frozen by fear and unreality we took to the stage and played to a fast-dwindling crowd who, as a man, took one look and swiftly repaired to the pub, shaking their heads.

Aside from that our set was uneventful, apart from when somebody rushed up and implored us for God's sake to be quiet as there was a funeral going past. 

Edited April 2, 2018 by KK Jale

[Bluewine]

14 hours ago, casapete said:

In my ELO tribute band (not the one you mention thank goodness...) we occasionally get asked to perform at private functions, usually

by people who are fans of ELO stuff. We always decline, on the basis that most of the audience won't be.

 

Yes, we have the same issue. For us, it's only the host that love us. Not their guests. At not of these private parties people are there to eat, talk with friends , socialize. 

There really not there to hear or support a live band. Especially 70s hard rock.

Blue

Edited April 3, 2018 by Bluewine

[EMG456]

OK- I'll bite.

Back in the late 70s when I was young and foolish, I had joined a band run by a Keyboard player. It was generally a soft rock band, playing Steely Dan, early Toto... that kind of stuff. It was all a bit airy-fairy and I don't think we even made it to a gig so I decided to move on. Couple of years later, I get a call from said keyboard player to say they had a last minute gig on the Saturday night and their bass player couldn't make it - was I available? Well yes, as it happened I was and could they pick me up in the van?

So on Saturday afternoon, they turn up and we load my gear in and set off. Keyboard guy, guitarist who is driving in the front and me and the drummer in the back. This drummer was a good player and a nice guy but he always insisted on wearing an ancient afghan coat which stank to the high heavens. The gig is apparently in Dunfermline which in those days was probably about an hour and a half's drive away.

I made it without asphyxiating and we arrive outside the venue which turns out to be the Kinema ballroom - a big cavern of a hall which big name acts have been known to play in. I start to get that sinking feeling. As I wheel my Acoustic 301 along the corridor leading to backstage, I am passing posters advertising past and coming attractions - it seems there's something on every Saturday night- The Skids, Elvis Costello and the Attractions, The Rezillos etc. 

We set up on the massive stage - I can't remember what the PA was - something that came just after WEM columns no doubt - but whatever it was, it was totally inadequate to fill the space. We are trying to perform this sort of American tinged easy listening rock to a crowd who seem to have turned up to pogo, throw beer and spit at one another. It was never going to happen.

We got paid off by the manager at half time and scurried out with our tails between our legs!

I didn't ever play with those guys again.

[peteb]

Plenty to choose from (a disproportionate number in the north west of England for some reason) but I will go with this one if I may. 

Back in the mid to late 80s, I was in an original rock / metal band that travelled round the country a bit in our bid for megastardom! We had a guy who wanted to manage us who had on his books a singer who wasn’t actually a big star, but who we had at least heard of. He had some big ideas and a few connections, so everything was looking up.

He got us a gig supporting Geezer Butler’s band in a big club in the midlands (Coventry, if I remember correctly). Unfortunately, Geezer cancelled at the last moment for some reason (I think that we found out later that he had been invited out to America to guest on an Ozzy tour or record / write with him or something). Our prospective manager decided that we would go ahead with the gig as a headliner, as he thought that it would help to introduce us to a new audience and that playing this club where the likes of Geezer Butler played would look good on our CV! However, the deal was that we wouldn’t get a fee but would get 100% of the door take. 

The problem was that it was too late to promote the gig properly and the word had got out that Geezer had cancelled, but not that there was still a band on. We turned up and set up and waited for the hoards to arrive, but all we got was the bar staff saying ‘it’s never this quiet normally’. In the end we got one paying punter who had come down on spec to see if there was still a band on. We got talking to him and bought him a drink, gave him his money back and a signed demo we had for sale! We also let in about ten people who we had been playing pool with in the adjoining pub and who had been buying us drinks after taking pity on us having driven 120 miles to play for one person.

We then went on stage and played the full show for this handful of unlikely punters. Of course, once we had been playing for ten minutes about twenty or more members of a biker club turned (all back patches, I vaguely remember them being Angels but could have been another club). Unfortunately, the guy on the door refused to take any money off them in case they found out later that we had let everybody else in for free…!

Edited April 2, 2018 by peteb

[Bluewine]

5 hours ago, EMG456 said:

OK- I'll bite.

His drummer was a good player and a nice guy but he always insisted on wearing an ancient afghan coat which stank to the high heavens. 

I made it without asphyxiating.

OMG, the stench was that bad?

Great story, hilarious!

Blue

[Bluewine]

Here's one we've all been through.

You guys know Harley is headquartered here in Milwaukee. Ok so I believe it was one of theses anniversary things Harley's 110th. So people are coming in from all over the country on their bikes to celebrate.There are parties an events happening all over city.

We got booked by this huge camp ground where they were expecting thousands of bikers to stay. Well to make a long story short and just our luck that didn't happen.

There was this huge builing with a huge ballroom with a huge stage.

A complete disaster.

We played to a bar staff of about 5 people.

Blue

* You know the whole biker event thing has never worked out for us. Maybe it's me, but in the States I don't think bikers are these big partiers anymore. 

There older folks and the young Millennials are not following their parents. They're not into bikes or bike community or culture.

Edited April 3, 2018 by Bluewine

[EMG456]

9 hours ago, Bluewine said:

OMG, the stench was that bad?

Great story, hilarious!

Blue

Yeah, I didn't really exaggerate (much)

[Monkey Steve]

my old punk covers band played a bloke's 50th and went down an absolute storm - music from when him and his mates were young.  The birthday boy couldn't have been happier.

So his fiance asks us back to play their wedding about 18 months later...

...very different crowd...

[Mickeyboro]

We had the opposite - did a stag one week and the wedding reception the next. But the first was as disaster as blokes don’t dance with each other!

Also, half the blokes loathed the other half since they hadn’t been invited to a jolly in Prague. 

Exactly the same music, same venue, different result.

 

[Linus27]

Best mismatch I can think about is when my old band supported Let Loose. Let Loose were a pretty boy band from the 90's, all good looking bedroom poster types playing to young teenage girls. We on the other hand were a guitar punk pop so a bit Green Day, Manics, Radiohead, Wonder Stuff etc. Strangely enough, we actually went down quite well.

[skankdelvar]

Dodged a mismatch one time. Very loud Blues Rock band and the drummer chirpily announces he's got us a gig at a 'supper club' after the dancers and before the comedian. 

Talked him out of it, thank God. 

[martthebass]

Rewinding to the mid nineties I was in a Brit Pop band, Oasis, Kula Shaker, OCS, Shed 7 etc, we were booked by the agent to play a backwater WMC called The Titanic.  The place was full at the start of the first spot but my good feeling was tarnished with the head count of blue rinses and all manner of Country & Western style dress.  You could hear a pin drop after every song....the singist, a bit flustered by the response, garbled something about ‘this is the closest to Country that we do’ before launching into ‘She’s Electric’. By the end of the first spot the audience count was down by 80%, the concert sec came into the dressing room in the interval and launched into a tirade about how we had emptied the club etc.  Git wouldn’t pay us off though so we had to endure another hour of slow death before packing up and going home....

[taunton-hobbit]

So back in the late 70s I had bills to pay, and started doing function stuff.

(hated it, but needs must).

I get a lead to a large pile in Oxford that wanted someone to handle all their

function disco work..........sorted (?)

I am informed that the first gig is a birthday bash for some Scottish country music

mob - I inform the venue that we don't carry that sh*t (sorry, music) but will be happy

to play what the organisers bring.

Come the night, the hotel hasn't said a word, & I'm faced with a barrage of insults.........

........end of those gigs then..............

[Bluewine]

On 4/2/2018 at 07:13, Painy said:

This is always the big problem with private functions - especially weddings.

Nothing worse than working your way through a hard rock or punk set the whole time under the stern, disapproving glare of the mother of the bride. 

My opinion, weddings are for DJs and bands specialize in weddings. They're called Wedding Bands.

 

Blue

[mrtcat]

12 hours ago, Bluewine said:

My opinion, weddings are for DJs and bands specialize in weddings. They're called Wedding Bands.

 

Blue

We do all sorts of private parties including over 40 weddings last year. We also do pubs at times of year when weddings are quiet. It's not about specialising it's just about being really mainstream. Classic rock may be popular in pubs, festivals or bars but it's pretty niche elsewhere. Mainstream pop and pop rock is where the crossover is. 

I'd take a wedding or a private party over a pub gig any day of the week. Nice venues, better money, food provided and a packed dancefloor full of happy people in their best party gear as opposed to the usual cramped pubs, angry drunks, low pay and playing to a bunch of blokes.