Is it me?

[pbasspecial]

So here's the deal.  The band that I am in (co-founded but since changed to singer/guitarists name!) have a gig next week. Unfortunately it was moved by the pub from last week when I could do it to next week when I am away on holiday (which they have known about for 6 months).  The guitarist has decided to do it now as a 3 piece (drums, guitar and keys).  I wasn't keen on them doing it as I felt it would cheapen the brand we are slowly building.  

I wasn't happy about them doing the gig without me for several reasons, namely, it would make the band sound not as good, weaken our reputation and I thought I was a key member of the group, not a session player.  Ego slightly bruised and nose dislocated, etc

They also want to use my PA system, and the singer/guitarist said my share could go in the band kitty.  I was ok (ish) with this.

Now things have changed, without speaking with me, the keys player is now going to play bass and 'my' share of the gig money will now go to pay towards a rehearsal for the keys player to learn the bass parts, etc

I told him that I was not happy about this and would get back to him today.

What would you guys suggest?

[dlloyd]

Leave the band.

[petebassist]

Seems a tad cheeky - will they be borrowing your bass & rig too?

Book another gig for when the singer's on holiday and tell him/her that you're gonna sing and play bass.

[Beedster]

The old 'anyone can play bass' routine. Let them do it and learn that not everyone can

[ricksterphil]

Leave and don't lend them your PA.......they are royally taking the p*ss

[dlloyd]

The name change would have been the breaker for me.

[Hobbayne]

What are you?  - The hired hand?

Tell them to go f*** themselves!

Edited May 24, 2018 by Hobbayne

[keeponehandloose]

Tell them they can hire your pa at a reasonable going rate, any breakage/loss is covered by them, not the kitty. Sit back on your hols and have a few drinks on them for doing not much yourself.

 

[Count Bassy]

You could never do this date and never agreed to it. The band should have told the pub that they couldn't do that date and suggested another one. For this gig the pub needs to find another band.

When you say that "the keys player will play bass", do you mean he will play a bass guitar, or that he will play the bass line on the keyboard? Either way it is unlikely to sound good after just one rehearsal and the reputation of the band will suffer.

I'd tell them that you don't want to do it, and that you'd be thinking carefully about the future if they do. If they go ahead anyway then it's time to condier your options.

I would be less upset if they'd got a dep in for the evening.

[Conan]

Very strange and rather dodgy IMO. Better off without them I suspect. Lesson learned and all that. They seem like an untrustworthy bunch, and I think trust is important in a band.

[Japhet]

Sabotage your PA and lend it to them.

[Dropzone]

To be honest it is quite easy for anyone with a bit of guitar experience to play bass enough to get through most gigs averagely, it is different to locking in and nailing it though. Again the keys can probably cope with the 80% on his keyboard and just let the other (important but not essential) 20% slip. Where do you ultimately see this going and what do you ultimately want to happen, that should drive your decision making. Sometimes you just have to take one, sometimes you have to make a stand. The choice is yours. Good luck either way.

 

[Lozz196]

I`m amazed at this, I think it`s treating a member of the band pretty poorly (possibly a major understatement there). If anything get a dep in, but in all cases never book a gig when a band member says up front they are unavailable.

[chris_b]

What's the problem? The band has a gig and you can't do it.  Happens all the time. Get a dep or let them do it as a 3 piece. Why stop them?

[Dad3353]

6 minutes ago, chris_b said:

What's the problem? The band has a gig and you can't do it.  Happens all the time. Get a dep or let them do it as a 3 piece. Why stop them?

+1 ^^

[Frank Blank]

I'd be walking if  it were me. I'd like to be consulted about the rescheduling of the date, consulted about keyboard player stepping in, consulted about where my money was ending up. I would also like to know why so many decisions were being made without my input.

Actually, thinking about it, I'm with @dlloyd...

30 minutes ago, dlloyd said:

The name change would have been the breaker for me.

...and @Hobbayne for that matter...

26 minutes ago, Hobbayne said:

What are you?  - The hired hand?

Tell them to go f*** themselves!

 

[pbasspecial]

5 minutes ago, chris_b said:

What's the problem? The band has a gig and you can't do it.  Happens all the time. Get a dep or let them do it as a 3 piece. Why stop them?

If I was just a paid gun this wouldn't be an issue but because I co-founded this group and I thought I was integral to the band's sound and style, it just makes me realise how little I have been valued by the singer/guitarist.  It's all about his needs being met all the time.  Everybody else's comes way down the list.

[Frank Blank]

7 minutes ago, pbasspecial said:

If I was just a paid gun this wouldn't be an issue but because I co-founded this group and I thought I was integral to the band's sound and style, it just makes me realise how little I have been valued by the singer/guitarist.  It's all about his needs being met all the time.  Everybody else's comes way down the list.

Bingo, fvck em'.

[Steve Browning]

It seems to me the writing is now on the wall. You thought you had a 'status' within the band that they are demonstrating you don't. I might be inclined to let this go as you (reluctantly) agreed to their using your pa but I would be making a mental note to quit if it's repeated.

[Osiris]

14 minutes ago, pbasspecial said:

It's all about his needs being met all the time.  Everybody else's comes way down the list.

Try speaking to the rest of the band and see if you can get a reasoned response and compromise situation. If you can then all ought to work out fine in the long run even if you're annoyed at the minute. 

But if you don't get a reasonable response or a compromise situation that you are happy with it might be wise to consider your long term commitment to the band. 

Having been in bands with people like in the past, also guitarists oddly enough, I know exactly how you feel. Assuming he's anything like the guys in question I've had the misfortune to play with then things will almost certainly crash and burn sooner or later. So it might be better to cut your losses and walk now, particularly if they're unwilling to compromise.  

Edited May 24, 2018 by Osiris

[Christine]

I think I would be upset too, I would quietly take my stuff and say goodbye and let them buy their own PA

[Frank Blank]

3 minutes ago, Osiris said:

Try speaking to the rest of the band and see if you can get a reasoned response and compromise situation. If you can then all ought to work out fine in the long run even if you're annoyed at the minute. 

But if you don't get a reasonable response or a compromise situation that you are happy with it might be wise to consider your long term commitment to the band. 

Having been in bands with people like in the past, also guitarists oddly enough, I know exactly how you feel. Assuming he's anything like the guys in question I've had the misfortune to play with then things will almost certainly crash and burn sooner or later. So it might be better to cut your losses and walk now, particularly if they're unwilling to compromise.  

Obviously this reasoned response is what I meant by fvck em'.

[bassbiscuits]

11 minutes ago, pbasspecial said:

If I was just a paid gun this wouldn't be an issue but because I co-founded this group and I thought I was integral to the band's sound and style, it just makes me realise how little I have been valued by the singer/guitarist.  It's all about his needs being met all the time.  Everybody else's comes way down the list.

I sympathise with you pbasspecial,

But it depends how you want to handle it, and what you want from it.

If you are enjoying the band, and/or you are getting what you want from it, then don't necessarily walk out over this alone. Certainly tell them how unhappy you are with the situation, but them doing a stripped down gig without you isn't in itself the end of the world, if everything else is ok.

On the other hand, if this is an indication of where you feature in the band (which might also be revealed when you tell them how unhappy you are) and you aren't happy generally with the band, then maybe it is time to go.

It's pretty inconsiderate, but it wouldn't surprise me if they hadn't even thought about how you feel in the rush to take the gig.

 

[Japhet]

18 minutes ago, pbasspecial said:

If I was just a paid gun this wouldn't be an issue but because I co-founded this group and I thought I was integral to the band's sound and style, it just makes me realise how little I have been valued by the singer/guitarist.  It's all about his needs being met all the time.  Everybody else's comes way down the list.

That's exactly the conversation you should have with them.

[mrtcat]

I'd tell them to get a dep and hire a PA. I founded our band but would have no issue with them gigging without me with a suitable dep. I use deps to cover others when gigs come in that someone can't make. That said we run the band as a business and we all depend on the income to a certain extent. For that very reason I wouldn't allow them to go out with a botched lineup (ie keys player playing bass) and I would be offended if they simply expected to use my PA without offering an equal share of the gig money to me and guaranteeing to pay for any breakages - and that's with guys I really trust already.