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47 minutes ago, fleabag said:

Post office blag...

Post Office blague..? Coming right up, Sir ...

A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas Cards. "What denomination?" asked the clerk.
"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 30 Catholic, 10 Baptist ones, 20 Lutheran, and 40 Presbyterian."

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2 hours ago, TheGreek said:

No Greek Orthodox??

Greek Orthodox blague..? Coming right up, Sir ...

An Orthodox man gets on the train and takes his seat. 
After a while, he notices an Orthodox Cross on the man next to him. 
After a while longer he asks, "Sir, I couldn't help noticing you're wearing an Orthodox Cross. Are you an Orthodox Christian..?" 
The passenger answers, "Yes, I am." 
The man says, "Oh..! I am too! Are you Greek or Russian Orthodox..?" 
"I'm Greek Orthodox." The man says, 
"Ohhh, so am I..! Are you Old Calendar Greek Orthodox or New Calendar Greek Orthodox..?" "
I'm Old Calendar Greek Orthodox." The man says, 
"Alleluia! I am too..! Are you Old Calendar Anti-Ecumenist Greek Orthodox or Old Calendar Pro-Ecumenist Greek Orthodox..?" 
"I'm Old Calendar Anti-Ecumenist Greek Orthodox." The man says, 
"Ooooh..! Well, I am too! Are you Old Calendar Anti-Ecumenist New Ritualist Greek Orthodox, or Old Calendar Anti-Ecumenist Old Ritualist Greek Orthodox..?" 
"I'm Old Calendar Anti-Ecumenist New Ritualist Greek Orthodox." The man says, 
"Well, glory to God! I am too..! Are you Old Calendar Anti-Ecumenist New Ritualist Old-Man Trinity Icon-using Greek Orthodox, or Old Calendar Anti-Ecumenist New Ritualist non-Old-Man Trinity icon-using Greek Orthodox..?" 
"I'm Old Calendar Anti-Ecumenist New Ritualist Old-Man Trinity icon-using Greek Orthodox." 
So the man says, "Aaaaaaa, you damned heretic! May you burn in hell forever..!" 

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6 minutes ago, fleabag said:

No 7th day adventists ?

methodists ?

Here we are, Sir; sorry for the delay...

A man died and went to heaven, and met St. Peter who was showing him around heaven, and they came across various groups of people. There was one large group who were Presbyterians, and the man asked who these people were? Peter said these are the people who were chosen from every kindred, nation, tongue, and people. 

There was another group that consisted of Catholics and a few other ecumenical groups, and Peter said that these are a group of people who are surprised to be here. 

Then there was this very small group all the way over by themselves in their exclusive little corner of heaven, and the man asked "Who are these people..?" 
These are the Seventh-day Adventists, and they think they are the only ones who are here in heaven."

Several churches in the South decided to hold union services. The leader was a Baptist and proud of his denomination.
"How many Baptists are here?" he asked on the first night of the revival?
All except one little old lady raised their hands.
"Lady, what are you..?" asked the leader.
"I'm a Methodist," meekly replied the lady.
"Why are you a Methodist..?" queried the leader?
"Well," replied the little old lady, "my grandparents were Methodists, my mother was a Methodist, and my late husband was a Methodist."
"Well," retorted the leader, "just supposing all your relatives had been morons, what would that have made you..?"
"Oh, I see. A Baptist, I suppose," the lady replied meekly.

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