Should be a good rehearsal tonight... (that's sarcasm, I'm bricking myself)

[Stylon Pilson]

So some of you may remember my recent thread "How many songs for an audition" or something like that, in which I grumbled about a band needing me to learn 11 songs for an audition, but then I did it anyway and got the gig.

Following on from that, tonight is the night when I am planning to to tell my current band that I'm leaving them. I shall try to keep it as diplomatic as possible, simply telling them that my heart isn't in it any more and it's not the right fit for me. I've decided to do it at the end of the rehearsal, tell them that of course I'll do the gig next week, that I'll do the gig in 2 months if they need me to, but I won't be doing the one in 5 months.

An added frisson has been added this morning when the keyboard player sent us a message asking if he could bring a friend along to rehearsal. I waited half an hour to see if anyone else would respond, but they didn't, so I replied suggesting that I didn't think it would be a good idea.

I've only ever left a band once before, and that was about 8 years ago.

S.P.

Edited July 13, 2018 by Stylon Pilson
Title was a bit dull

[Rich]

Eek. Best of luck.

[Stylon Pilson]

10 minutes ago, Rich said:

Eek. Best of luck.

Thanks. I'm sure that they'll take it fine, but there's always this little nagging doubt that they'll take it personally, or demand an itemised list of the reasons why I want to leave. Either of which would be very awkward.

S.P.

[Buzzy]

I left a band after 12 years due to boredom with the music and wanting to play different stuff.

I assured them there were no personal issues and that I would cover the gigs for the following two months. Also offered to dep if they needed someone.

We are all still on good terms and I occasionally go to one of their gigs.

Just be honest about why you're leaving and try to part on good terms.

[Stylon Pilson]

11 minutes ago, Buzzy said:

Just be honest about why you're leaving and try to part on good terms.

Well, achieving both of these simultaneously is the bit that requires some finesse. Some of the reasons for me wanting to leave are probably best kept to myself. That's why I'm hoping that they don't drill me too hard on why I'm leaving.

S.P.

Edited July 13, 2018 by Stylon Pilson

[Heathy]

Should be fine. Always better to give notice, rather than just bailing.

[Yank]

Just tell them "It's not you,  it's me."

[Happy Jack]

But really, it's you.

 

Shame about the friend - did you ask if he was a bass player?

 

[chris_b]

You have so few gigs with the old band. Doesn't look like you'd have many diary clashes.

I'd stay and be in both bands.

Edited July 14, 2018 by chris_b

[neilp]

13 minutes ago, chris_b said:

You have so few gigs with the old band. Doesn't look like you'd have many diary clashes.

I'd stay and be in both bands.

This. Playing is good. More playing is better

[skidder652003]

nobody died, you'll be cool, only a couple of gigs in the next 7 months? Don't brick it, they'll be fine.

[Happy Jack]

Unless one of them is Glastonbury.

 

[skidder652003]

1 minute ago, Happy Jack said:

Unless one of them is Glastonbury.

 

nah its not on this year

[Happy Jack]

4 minutes ago, Happy Jack said:

Unless one of them is Glastonbury.

 

Reading.

[Stylon Pilson]

On 14/07/2018 at 10:07, chris_b said:

You have so few gigs with the old band. Doesn't look like you'd have many diary clashes.

I'd stay and be in both bands.

I get what you're saying, but the problem I'm finding is that because we have so few gigs, we're constantly forgetting and relearning the songs, so the end result is an increase in practice and rehearsal time, and a decrease in quality.

Also, I don't really want to stay in the old band, for various other reasons which I won't go into here. I just didn't want to leave until I had something else lined up.

Giving them the bad news went as well as could be expected. As I started to speak, I felt my throat close up - I'm not very experienced at this sort of thing. There were lots of shocked and surprised faces, some expressions of disappointment, but they've all expressed understanding (well, except for two of the band members who didn't express anything, so who knows what they're thinking).

Anyone free on Friday night who fancies coming to my last public gig with them, it's at the Broad Street Tavern in Wokingham.

S.P.

Edited July 16, 2018 by Stylon Pilson
Clarity

[Rich]

3 minutes ago, Stylon Pilson said:

Anyone free on Friday night who fancies coming to our last public gig, it's at the Broad Street Tavern in Wokingham.

S.P.

Does this mean the band is folding, rather than them just replacing you?

Also: I spent my first 23 years living in Shinfield, so I know Wokingham well. My first good band was based there. Many a happy drunken hour spent at the Ship and the Molly Millar.

[Stylon Pilson]

10 minutes ago, Rich said:

Does this mean the band is folding, rather than them just replacing you?

Derp, I've edited my post to be clearer. No, there's been no talk of the band folding.

S.P.