Muzz Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 We played a pub on Saturday night, and by far the biggest posters in the windows were for the previous night's entertainment...which was The Meat Raffle... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martthebass Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 Great name for a band though Muzz...... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muzz Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 Ohhhhh, that's genius... 🙂 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len_derby Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 1 hour ago, cheddatom said: There's a venue we've played at a few times, a very small room above a pub. They always promise there will be a sound engineer and a PA but every time we turn up there's 2 knackered old speakers, a 4 channel desk, and one mic, stand and cable. We have to do the sound ourselves. If people turn up it's actually not a bad gig, but we really have to keep volume down so that you can hear the vocals which is very frustrating for me on drums. We all agreed we'd never do it again but I notice it's on the gigs list again for next year In a small town in Derbyshire beginning with a B by any chance? 🤔 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave_bass5 Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 1 hour ago, Muzz said: Don't forget the constant talking until the Bingo comes on... 😕 God yes. It all gets very dark and serious when that starts. A silly story but we used top play a large club in Slough. During the high stakes Bingo on a Sunday night they banned any talking, phones off etc. Our guitarist, being a forgetful chap, didnt turn his off. Off he goes across the room to the bar. Whispers to the bar man for 3 pints, and starts to walk back with them. Now, im not sure why i did this, but i decided as he was crossing the dance floor to call his mobile. It might have been because i knew he had the Dambusters theme tune as his ring tone, and maybe because there was no way to put the drinks down, but it was the funniest moment we ever had at that venue.....expect for him of course 🙂 1 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EliasMooseblaster Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 You'll forgive me, I hope, if I've bored you with this one before, but to me it's a great example of one guv'nor deciding that he knew best, and the only example of Cherry White being sufficiently micturated off to pack up and walk out of a gig. It began as a residency in a place that was otherwise styling itself as a kind of generic modern bar, which seemed like a (potentially) excellent development for a band which hadn't been playing together all that long. It was initially conceived by a friend of our drummer, who'd had some very promising conversations with the landlord, but he disppeared from view once it started to look like hard work. So on Mondays we hosted a jam night, and on Fridays we'd be the sole entertainment and play for most of the evening. Things started well: the landlord took the very encouraging attitude that he'd never hosted live music before, so he was happy to defer to us on most matters. And, as all such things begin, most of our friends were all too keen to come along to either play at the jam, or come and listen to us on the Friday nights. After a few weeks, the cracks started to show. Every night we went down there, the landlord complained that we were too loud. Even when we were turned down to the point that our guitarist could hear his own strings while he was checking tuning during a guitar-free section of a song, and our drummer might as well have been playing with two pencils. He seemed surprised that the audiences diminished - we tried to explain that (i) our friends were not going to come and see us every single week, (ii) he was competing with every other Monday jam night and every other Friday band night in London, and (iii) hiding the band away in the basement of your bar, and turning them down so nobody can hear them, is not the best way to advertise a live band to any passing trade. Worst of all, he kept talking about his sound system. He'd installed a surround sound system in the basement, which no doubt sounded great when he put a CD on...but he wanted to run our vocals through it. "Wouldn't that sound great?" he kept asking, "it's a really good system." Attempts to explain the limitations of a Hi-fi for live music fell on deaf ears. Suddenly the guy who once admitted he knew nothing about live music, thought he was some kind of authority on the subject. One night, we arrived to find that he'd connected the mixing desk to his CD player and quite literally hidden the rest of the PA somewhere else. We tried our best to be professional, and gamely soldiered on for the half-dozen people scattered around the downstairs bar. We could barely hear a thing we were singing. At the start of our third set, he'd obviously decided that even this was too loud, as he nipped down and turned the volume down even further on the already barely audible Hi-fi. Our drummer declared that this was just ridiculous, and he couldn't do another 45 minutes like this. Our singer decided to try and reason with the landlord, who apparently told her to eff off, because he was in the middle of something else. So we packed up and left. (Right after I'd cashed in my last two beer tokens.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluewine Posted July 16, 2018 Author Share Posted July 16, 2018 2 hours ago, dave_bass5 said: Social clubs. Although we can get them, and they pay well, we have decided to try and do some pub gigs. The money might be rubbish but the atmosphere cant be any worse than a half (or less) empty Social club on a Sat night. How about Legion Hall gigs? The pay is good and the staffs are always nice. But all those 4 prong walkers and oxygen tanks make the atmosphere a little weird. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickD Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 SHAPE (Strategic Headquarters other the Allied Powers of Europe), Mons, Belgium. Because young and troublesome bass playing civilians don't fully understand how 'on duty' military personnel are when they're 'off duty'. 😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T-Bay Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 Only one place. Great venue with good set up but the owner insists on doing the sound check himself and then sets your levels for you. Nothing that unusual as many places have a sound guy. Except this guy can’t get a decent sound for us for love nor money. He also won’t listen to what we know will make a difference. I know other bands who now leave it well alone for the same reason. I have been there as a punter a few times and some people seem to get a good sound and other bands I know to be good sound very poor, so not sure if it’s just luck or whether some bands are just more forceful than others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 There are three. One in Stroud; the staff are nice but the clientele are semi-evolved and are only interested in the disco that follows the band. Plus there is zero parking. And it's an hour's drive away. The only thing I ever liked about playing there was that I always got to hear the shipping forecast on the drive home. Second is in Bridgwater. Last time we played there, I counted seven punters at the end and then realised I'd included the bar staff in that. Third is in Downend, Bristol. Used to be a great venue with a good landlord, with whom we got on like a house on fire. We were one of his favourite bands. Then he retired, and the new crowd are clueless. First thing they did was replace all the carpet with hard wooden flooring, so the place rings like a bell now. Then they started getting silly about the money ("I'm sure I didn't say I'd give you as much as that", "yes you did, want to see your email?"). The last straw was when they double booked us, despite our drummer phoning them to confirm two weeks previously AND sending them a bunch of posters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowdown Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 For some reason, I was singing "It's so funny .....We Don't Play There Anymore" to the below tune.....A bit of rephrasing and it fits... Carry on.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jezzaboy Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 (edited) The Glenleven inn in Kilbarchan. I played there one a few years ago with a pop/rock covers band and had to watch the volume. The noise meter cut the power if you even whispered to loud. A right pain in the nether regions. Fast forward a few years. We turn up on a Saturday night. No effort by the pub to promote the gig, nobody in the pub and a noise meter. The the landlord explains he has been getting lots of complaints about the noise from residents. And we are a acdc tribute act. I never even took my gear from the car. The guy didn`t seem to give a toss either. Edited July 16, 2018 by jezzaboy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taunton-hobbit Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 Most of the venues that I wouldn't play again have since closed - no surprise there. I started to refuse to play gigs anywhere that had noise meters years ago - nothing like a couple of k hitting the speakers on reset - couldn't see the promoters being keen to foot the bill, somehow...... 😒 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluewine Posted July 16, 2018 Author Share Posted July 16, 2018 41 minutes ago, taunton-hobbit said: Most of the venues that I wouldn't play again have since closed - no surprise there. I started to refuse to play gigs anywhere that had noise meters years ago - nothing like a couple of k hitting the speakers on reset - couldn't see the promoters being keen to foot the bill, somehow...... 😒 We've all experienced this, pubs with noise meters. What do owners think when they hire a rock, pop or blues band. If they have issues with volume, hire an acoustic jazz trio. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leschirons Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 This place. We were invited to audition to be their resident wedding band. Which we did. Just by coincidence, on the last night of their week of trying to impress 60 visiting UK wedding planners. First function, went down a storm with the happy couple and guests who even left an additional three figure tip to be passed on to us at payment time. We went back after two weeks as we'd not received the payment transfer and lo and behold, gone into liquidation. In business again after 2 months, different name for the controlling consortium but strangely, all the same people. Hmmm. They had the nerve to email us two weeks ago to ask if we still offered a wedding function band service as they'd heard some positive feedback about us.😂 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muzz Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 13 hours ago, Rich said: There are three. One in Stroud; the staff are nice but the clientele are semi-evolved and are only interested in the disco that follows the band. Plus there is zero parking. And it's an hour's drive away. The only thing I ever liked about playing there was that I always got to hear the shipping forecast on the drive home. Second is in Bridgwater. Last time we played there, I counted seven punters at the end and then realised I'd included the bar staff in that. Third is in Downend, Bristol. Used to be a great venue with a good landlord, with whom we got on like a house on fire. We were one of his favourite bands. Then he retired, and the new crowd are clueless. First thing they did was replace all the carpet with hard wooden flooring, so the place rings like a bell now. Then they started getting silly about the money ("I'm sure I didn't say I'd give you as much as that", "yes you did, want to see your email?"). The last straw was when they double booked us, despite our drummer phoning them to confirm two weeks previously AND sending them a bunch of posters. Can I just start the day by saying '...the clientele are semi-evolved and are only interested in the disco...' has made me smile like a loon? Thank you. 😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iacopo San Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 22 hours ago, NancyJohnson said: About a year ago, my old band played the St Moritz on Wardour Street, Landaan. Our singer said it would look good on our CV. Hmm. Journey up was fine, got parked north of Oxford Street, half-mile walk to the venue (locked on arrival), easyish load in. The venue is a basement (a warren of rooms) under a cheese/fondue restaurant. It reeked of cheese, old beer, old sweat, old smoke and god knows whatever else. It was like an oven in there. Stage was maybe eight feet square - barely wide enough for a small drum kit, our amps were set up angled as there was no space and seven feet high (of course our singer insisted on standing on the stage). There was an air conditioner (off, I mean why would it be on?) attached to the ceiling in the middle of the stage (cue head bumpage). The venue didn't promote it, we didn't get paid (nor even offered a beer) but they asked us back. Err, no. I remember me and the drummer stopped at a McDonalds on the way home and for some reason I sniffed the upper arm of the shirt that I was wearing and it stank of cheese. Lol, we played there two weeks ago. I can quote exactly every single word. It wasn't advertised anywhere and their website is shite. Furthermore they were showing the world cup quarter final, so there were more people in front of the tiny TV rather than in front of the tiny stage. My singer though went out in the street and managed to convince a group of 6 American girls to pay £6 and come see us. We were the band of the four with the biggest and best audience The sound guy insisted that Lemmy was a regular there back in the day, and that Deep Purple and AC-DC played there in the 70s. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stylon Pilson Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 This thread is getting me thinking that there might be value in having a subforum of this site dedicated entirely to identifying which venues are good and which are bad. If there was one thread per venue, it would be a very useful resource when trying to decide whether to accept an offer or not. S.P. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NancyJohnson Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 3 minutes ago, Stylon Pilson said: This thread is getting me thinking that there might be value in having a subforum of this site dedicated entirely to identifying which venues are good and which are bad. If there was one thread per venue, it would be a very useful resource when trying to decide whether to accept an offer or not. S.P. The problem with this is that the posting up of venues and promoters who are terrible/crooks does have this way about bouncing back at you and biting you in the donkey. There's a few promoters/venues in and around London that network to such a degree that they can blacklist you from playing places pretty easily. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stylon Pilson Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 22 minutes ago, NancyJohnson said: The problem with this is that the posting up of venues and promoters who are terrible/crooks does have this way about bouncing back at you and biting you in the donkey. There's a few promoters/venues in and around London that network to such a degree that they can blacklist you from playing places pretty easily. So you're saying that the crook promoters talk to the other crook promoters and then all of a sudden none of the crook promoters will talk to you any more? Well this sounds brilliant, sign me up! S.P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmo Valdemar Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 21 hours ago, martthebass said: Great name for a band though Muzz...... Already been done sadly! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golats Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 21 hours ago, Muzz said: Don't forget the constant talking until the Bingo comes on... 😕 I once tried to go into the bar with my girlfriend, during the interval, to avoid the bingo. She was physically carried out by two blokes and I was told there was "no women allowed in the bar; only in the lounge and concert room." That was about 20 years ago but I wouldn't be surprised if some of them still have that rule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radiophonic Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 Folk Clubs in general. Every time it's the same story. We get booked as a 'featured act' and every time I say 'is it just us?' and every time I'm told 'Yes. No floor singers, no raffle.' Every time there are floor singers (i.e. mates of the organiser) and a fecking raffle. I have 100% had enough. I see another one looming on the schedule and I'm just not doing it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave_bass5 Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 2 hours ago, NancyJohnson said: The problem with this is that the posting up of venues and promoters who are terrible/crooks does have this way about bouncing back at you and biting you in the donkey. There's a few promoters/venues in and around London that network to such a degree that they can blacklist you from playing places pretty easily. And it would be quite easy for someone to ruin a venues reputation without real cause. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluewine Posted July 17, 2018 Author Share Posted July 17, 2018 19 hours ago, leschirons said: This place. We were invited to audition to be their resident wedding band. Which we did. Just by coincidence, on the last night of their week of trying to impress 60 visiting UK wedding planners. First function, went down a storm with the happy couple and guests who even left an additional three figure tip to be passed on to us at payment time. We went back after two weeks as we'd not received the payment transfer and lo and behold, gone into liquidation. In business again after 2 months, different name for the controlling consortium but strangely, all the same people. Hmmm. They had the nerve to email us two weeks ago to ask if we still offered a wedding function band service as they'd heard some positive feedback about us.😂 We're you paid anything for the gig? Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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