Bluewine Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 I thought this might be an interesting discussion, quitting your band, why, when and how? Lot's of variables here, from location, age, type of band and level of play ( local, regional, international, signed unsigned) For the purpose of this discussion, I think it will be more relevant to keep it to the average guy playing pubs, local festivals and community events. What are some of the reasons you would quit, when you would quit and how you would tell the band. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyTravis Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 Reasons I have quit tend to be around members I want to beat to death with their own shoes... I have generally taken the shithouse way out via group message as I don’t hold my tongue well when I’m angry. It’s usually down to laziness, wanting the world at their feet but without putting effort in. Turning up late, not helping move gear, losing gear on packing down. I don’t need to gig to pay bills so I’m probably not as patient as some might be. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mykesbass Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 I felt really bad leaving my last band - great bunch, loved the music and attitude, however, the singer was becoming less and less available, lead guitarist who was really the band leader was getting frustrated and the gigs were drying up. I had started a new band, so told them I was going to have to call it a day, at which point everyone else seemed to agree, and the band more or less folded there and then. Was a very sad moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bridgehouse Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 I quit one band as the lead singer/songwriter was basically a bully and decided the best course of action was to constantly tell me how bad I was and destroy any confidence I might have. Took 5 years to get over it and pluck up the courage to go to an audition. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluewine Posted August 10, 2018 Author Share Posted August 10, 2018 (edited) Why If the gigs dried up and there was no plan to build up business. When I would never give notice until I had found a new working opportunity. How Diplomatically & fair Personality clashes, I make it a point to be nice to all band members. It's a business for me and I never get close with band members. For those of us that have been around for a few sunmers, we can usually detect potential personality conflicts at the audition stage of the game. Blue Edited August 11, 2018 by Bluewine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huge Hands Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 I had to quit my main gigging band last year because of ill health. I just couldn't do it any more. I'm only glad that my employer has been very understanding in letting me work from home, and that I didn't have to rely on gigging for my main income. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacDaddy Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 I once quit a band 2 weeks before a British tour. Well 3 or 4 gigs up and down England. Absolutely no guilt whatsoever, as the guitar vocals/band leader lied to me about money. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepurpleblob Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 (edited) I think this is the list if anybody is interested. Only including bands that gigged and weren't a complete waste of time... Band 1... was getting far too many gigs and I have a day job that pays too well. When the band was seriously affecting my day job something had to give. It was the band. Band 2... originals band. Sacked. "The drummer can't get along with you, oh, and you're too old" Band 3... punk covers band. Really good band but the lead guitarist left and it all got directionless for months. I stopped showing up - "let me know when you get your act together". The did but didn't ask me back. Band 4... Everybody resigned except me and the drummer. They then set up a new band lied about us and stole all the gigs. Nice people. They wanted all the gigs/money they could get. We didn't. Band 5... still there 😄 When you write it down it all sounds a bit pathetic. There was another 3 or 4 that split up before playing in gigs. I should learn to spot those. Edited August 10, 2018 by thepurpleblob 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassbiscuits Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 4 hours ago, AndyTravis said: Reasons I have quit tend to be around members I want to beat to death with their own shoes... I have generally taken the shithouse way out via group message as I don’t hold my tongue well when I’m angry. It’s usually down to laziness, wanting the world at their feet but without putting effort in. Turning up late, not helping move gear, losing gear on packing down. I don’t need to gig to pay bills so I’m probably not as patient as some might be. This. Absolutely this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassbiscuits Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 I quit my last band because I was fed up with the choice of music (and my say in the choice of music), the interpersonal dynamics, the uneven sharing of the workload, the stagecraft and quality of live performances, and general balance of power between those who saw it as their band, and those who actually made the band any good. Ive been gigging solo for nearly two years now and haven't looked back. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrunoBass Posted August 10, 2018 Share Posted August 10, 2018 2 hours ago, bassbiscuits said: I quit my last band because I was fed up with the choice of music (and my say in the choice of music), the interpersonal dynamics, the uneven sharing of the workload, the stagecraft and quality of live performances, and general balance of power between those who saw it as their band, and those who actually made the band any good. Er... where we in the same band? Seriously though, you’ve just described my current situation to a tee. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluewine Posted August 11, 2018 Author Share Posted August 11, 2018 5 hours ago, Huge Hands said: I had to quit my main gigging band last year because of ill health. I just couldn't do it any more. I'm only glad that my employer has been very understanding in letting me work from home, and that I didn't have to rely on gigging for my main income. Health and family, probably high up on the list of why we quit bands. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluewine Posted August 11, 2018 Author Share Posted August 11, 2018 3 hours ago, bassbiscuits said: I quit my last band because I was fed up with the choice of music (and my say in the choice of music), the interpersonal dynamics, the uneven sharing of the workload, the stagecraft and quality of live performances, and general balance of power between those who saw it as their band, and those who actually made the band any good. Ive been gigging solo for nearly two years now and haven't looked back. Did you have your " this band could potentially be a problem" meter on when you auditioned? Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newfoundfreedom Posted August 11, 2018 Share Posted August 11, 2018 Well seeing as I have just joined my first band in over 25 years my reasons for quitting my first and only previous band are a little different to the ones listed so far. We were all 17, got cars and girlfriends, and at the time driving and sh@##ing seemed like more fun than band practice. Ah the folly of youth! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassbiscuits Posted August 11, 2018 Share Posted August 11, 2018 5 hours ago, Bluewine said: Did you have your " this band could potentially be a problem" meter on when you auditioned? Blue Ha ha - no the band wasn't like that at all when I joined. It was a really very promising original band, in the process of recording an album and was miles ahead of anything I'd been involved with. Over the years members came and went, the internal dynamics changed and the band fell into being a fairly run of the mill covers band instead. When I realised I wasn't really getting any say on what we were doing, my offers of ideas to turn it around were ignored, and after one too many pub gigs of thinking "wow - we are never going to be any better than this" I decided it was time to walk. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassbiscuits Posted August 11, 2018 Share Posted August 11, 2018 27 minutes ago, Newfoundfreedom said: Well seeing as I have just joined my first band in over 25 years my reasons for quitting my first and only previous band are a little different to the ones listed so far. We were all 17, got cars and girlfriends, and at the time driving and sh@##ing seemed like more fun than band practice. Ah the folly of youth! Nope you were right all along - driving and sh@##ing are still way more fun than band practice. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NancyJohnson Posted August 11, 2018 Share Posted August 11, 2018 (edited) There's a very long thread elsewhere as to me leaving the band I'd formed seven years ago. People are just asshats really. Stupidly, it took a while to get over it; so much time invested and work to keep it together. I went out for an Indian last night with some friends and they asked whether I miss it. I just answered no and then showed them a photo (below) of the old band, headlining a gig in Reading last weekend playing to six people. It was precisely this, the unconditional acceptance of every gig offered and playing to next to no one (it happened) that led to the cracks. I mean credit to them for continuing to grind through gigs like this, but frankly it's just not worth the effort. Edited August 11, 2018 by NancyJohnson 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazzbass Posted August 11, 2018 Share Posted August 11, 2018 the day we add a cover to our 3 sets is when I'll quit but it'll never happen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozz196 Posted August 11, 2018 Share Posted August 11, 2018 (edited) I`ve quit a few bands over the years, a couple because playing gigs was getting on the way of me being able to go to the pub with my mates, and a couple because I`d just gotton to the point where I was no longer enjoying it. One I quit was due to we`d been a regularly gigging band that rehearsed all the time, and went to 4 gigs a year with 2 practices before each gig. As such we were a poor tribute of ourselves imo, so I quit, so did the singer, and from that we formed the band we`re currently in. With regards to telling the bands, well the beauty of e-mail is that you can tell everyone at much the same time, and deliver the same message so that it doesn`t get twisted into a he-said-she-said scenario. But before those days, well I just told the person in the band that I considered to be the band leader, and left it to them to tell the others. Edited August 11, 2018 by Lozz196 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arthurhenry Posted August 11, 2018 Share Posted August 11, 2018 4 hours ago, bazzbass said: the day we add a cover to our 3 sets is when I'll quit but it'll never happen The day we add an original to our set is when I'll quit. But it'll never happen. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uk_lefty Posted August 11, 2018 Share Posted August 11, 2018 (edited) I was thinking about this just yesterday... I quit my first band aged 18. We had spent a year rehearsing before our first gig. I got most of the gigs in even though the drummer and guitarist were older and way more experienced. At our last gig the guitarist, amazing guitarist but awful singer, introduced a guy to us and said "he's my mate, great singer, I want him in the band". To which I had to say I'm sorry but I move away to go and study for four years. That was the end of the band. I realised that while I liked the guys and we had a great band, we never socialised or talked about anything other than our set. So they didn't actually know that I was going away to uni even though it was my focus for the last two years! Other bands I've left because: rock covers band, plays biker festivals and so on... Singer spitting all over the place during rehearsal (disgusting), and not very good. Guitarist had guitars worth thousands but couldn't play in time, no energy to it and never felt part of it so quit without needing to say anything. I didn't ask about next rehearsal and they didn't contact me. New covers band with a dictator on guitar who wants to play loads of Stereophonics songs. We had two female singers!! Plus guitarist wanted to hire and fire other guitarists, drummers and keyboard players each week. It fell apart but me, the drummer and another guitarist had already thought to set up on our own without them. Failed covers band three years back. Great guys but two of them had a bit too much to drink before rehearsal every time. Endless versions of a song I told them I need time to work on, but they jam it for twenty mins anyhow... Etc. Couldn't see it going anywhere so got an audition for an established band and quit politely. Edited August 11, 2018 by uk_lefty 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Krow Posted August 11, 2018 Share Posted August 11, 2018 6 hours ago, bassbiscuits said: Nope you were right all along - driving and sh@##ing are still way more fun than band practice. I feel totally sh@gged when I have to drive 3 hours to / from gigs having loaded / unloaded all the gear! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Jack Posted August 11, 2018 Share Posted August 11, 2018 And you're in E. London? Where are these gigs - Wolverhampton? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nobodysprefect Posted August 11, 2018 Share Posted August 11, 2018 (edited) 9 hours ago, bassbiscuits said: Nope you were right all along - driving and sh@##ing are still way more fun than band practice. Not to sound judgmental, but please tell me you drive first and take substances later? I used to put down a lot of time with a psychoactive substance -- alcohol, in my case -- so I'm by no means a saint, but cars and substances don't mix Edit: Wait, wait, the word you've masked isn't shooting, it's the other thing, isn't it? Reasons to quit bands: having different aims than the rest, not being able to sack the one with a different aim, mismatch of aims and time investment, personality clashes, market just not being there for the band's oeuvre... Edited August 11, 2018 by nobody's prefect English as a second language 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peteb Posted August 11, 2018 Share Posted August 11, 2018 1 minute ago, nobody's prefect said: Not to sound judgmental, but please tell me you drive first and take substances later? I used to put down a lot of time with a psychoactive substance -- alcohol, in my case -- so I'm by no means a saint, but cars and substances don't mix You may have misunderstood - I don't think that he is referring to taking illicit substances here... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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